• Member Since 17th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 11th, 2015

musicluvr1974


E

The contest is over, and Equestria has a new Draconequus. Arthur Arcturus had, Twilight thought, told her and her friends everything they needed to know about humans.

But she's about to discover that there are more wonders in the multiverse than either of them knew...

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 16 )

Um... you did ask Reality Check if he was okay with this, right? :unsuresweetie:

3659322 Yeah, back when I first thought of the idea of doing a sequel. He said yes, don't worry. :pinkiesmile: 'Course, I'm expecting some feedback from him personally any hour now... we'll see what he thinks.

well, be warned that this is alt continuity. Trust me I do have a few surprises in store in 'The Audience.'

BTW: all of the main six should be alicorns at this point.

3660923 *smirks* I should've figured.... This is going to be a bit of a game-changer, then. I might have to unpublish until I can brainstorm a way to get the kinks worked out... Mine was sort of going to be an alt of your alt, since pieces from several other people's stories are also considered canonical. *sighs* Back to the drawing board? :rainbowlaugh:

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Trust me I do have a few surprises in store in 'The Audience.'

I'm not worried. I can always edit later to make it match. :twilightsmile:

Testing, testing, one, two, three...

It looks like these still work... Why have none of you been commenting? Is "no news good news," or what? :rainbowhuh: I'm getting a bunch of views, so I know you're out there... Say something!

An' if he's guilty... incitement ta riot is one of the least harshly punished offenses in all o' Equestria....

:pinkiecrazy::rainbowhuh::derpytongue2::applejackconfused::twilightoops: WHAT?

Why, if you don't mind my asking, would this be the case?

4756331 Have you seen how easily and how often these characters panic--particularly the background ponies?

The defense rests, fillies and gentlecolts... :facehoof:

Hmm. The mane six are spending a bit too much on a couple of bit characters rather than on the main protagonist.

Aspiring Skies: overreact much? Yikes.

They were on a field trip? Twilight shouldn't have had to go to all that trouble to find out their names... she could have just asked their teacher, who would have been looking for the missing colts herself.

Announcing them as suspects on the news: precisely the wrong approach if they were trying to FIND them.

They're colts. Cuffs would be a tad excessive, don't you think? Even for triggering a riot, seeing as ponies go ballistic at the drop of a hat anyway.

You're spending a lot of chapters on what would, even IRL, be a minor issue. this isn't a MURDER TRIAL, after all. Just a case of disturbing the peace. Setting aside that as princesses, they all outrank the local authorities anyway and could just say "let him go, he's pardoned," and be done with it... this many chapters on something so minor is overplaying it. It's over-wrought and boring.

Also, you may be a foodie, but you're spending too much time dwelling on fairly uninteresting breakfast stuff. An entire chapter dedicated to continental breakfasts--- the very definition of "a quick and uninteresting meal"--- is too much. And more importantly it has nothing to do with the action or plot of the story... it becomes a distraction the reader skims past, looking for the meat of the chapter.

The judge's decision is not legitimate. Clavoli did absolutely nothing to instigate the riot. "Watcher" or not, the law does not have the authority to expect supernatural precognitive abilities of a defendant, aka they can't expect him to predict irrational responses to perfectly peaceful and law-abiding behavior.

You've wasted all these chapters on a "legal case" that should have been over in one paragraph-- the moment the sheriff found out who'd hollered "draconequus". You have SIX princesses, rulers of an entire nation, walking around with their hooves tied in a two-bit municipal court, and you have a judge administering a decision so unjust and unlawful that would have been donkey-laughed out of court the moment it left his lips. And you STILL haven't gotten to the meat of the story!

IF HE ISN'T GUILTY OF ANYTHING, HE CAN'T BE PUNISHED.

Okay, I gotta squawk, and squawk loud about you using the bible-- and some really out of context theology-- to explain your protagonist's magic. I would never in a million eternities ever do that. It's pretty much blasphemous. I'm afraid this story gets an unequivocal thumbs-down from me.

5216879 Blasphemous? :rainbowderp: Pretty strong assessment. Mind telling me why? :rainbowhuh: Because if it's just denominational differences, I can live with that. Otherwise... :pinkiegasp:

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I was told conflict drives a story, and this was the obstacle I thought made the most sense this early in the story. Besides, Silver Star explained why they couldn't just pardon him. Should I edit to make that a little clearer?

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