Interview with an Unexpected Mage

by musicluvr1974

Chapter 4: Litigation Part I: Irrigation and Frustration

After delivering the two colts safely back to their parents, the Bearers returned to Silver Star's office in Appleloosa. There, the sheriff informed them that Jason's trial date had been set for Wednesday of the next week. Surprised, Twilight asked, "Why so soon, Sheriff Star?"

"Because, yer Highness, we were able to git a circuit judge to agree to preside over his trial," answered Silver Star. "'Course, like I said, y'all are welcome t' bring testimony in his defense if ya want, includin' witnesses ya may have discovered durin' th' investigation. Just make sure that Public Defender Habeas Corpus' office knows about any material y'all will bring t' bear. An' they'll inform the prosecutor, so's ever'thin' can be good an' tightly aboveboard. With this judge, both sides 'r' gonna need t' bring their "A" game on Wednesday."

"Why, specifically? Who did they find?" asked Twilight. "He can't be that bad, can he?"

"Judge Soy Bean? Oh, yes, he can. 'Round these parts, they got a nickname fer him...

"'The Hanging Judge.'"

Twilight gulped. "But... that's barbaric! Nopony's been executed by hanging since 400 years ago!"

"Yer Highness, that's what everypony calls him, maybe 'cause o' his Cutie Mark... an' we all know those can be symbolic. What I do know is, he's notoriously strict in his interpretation of the law, but he's also just as strictly fair about applyin' it. If he's given as complete a picture of what went on yesterday as both sides can manage, I c'n guarantee the critter won't be railroaded inta anythin'," replied Silver Star somberly. "That's a promise."

"A Pinkie Promise?!" Pinkie demanded. Sighing, Silver Star went through the traditional motions. This seemed to satisfy the pink alicorn, though she still glared around at everypony as if she'd caught a guilty foal snitching cookies out of her personal jar.

"Well, we've just got to put all the information we've gathered into a coherent form that would be useful to lawyers," Twilight said to those standing around her. "Thank you for your permission, Sheriff. I think it should bear some great results," she smiled. "C'mon, girls, let's get back to Canterlot. It seems we have a lot of work to do before next Wednesday!"

---

Over the course of the next several days, Twilight, Spike, and Owloysius were up quite late at night recording, collating, and collimating coherent records of everything they had learned from everyone involved in the human's case. Finally, though, they had it all distilled down into a neat package that Habeas Corpus' secretary, Quick Type, could turn into a court brief and copy for distribution to the Appleloosan prosecutor's office, headed by a pegasus mare by the name of Swift Justice. Before delivering it, they gathered the other five Bearers at their side for moral support, then teleported to Appleloosa. (1)

"Your Highnesses!" exclaimed Quick Type. "Please, come in! Silver Star told us to expect you at any moment! May I offer you some refreshment? With all due respect, you look a bit... stressed." It was true--Twilight's eyes were twitching independently of one another as if trying to dance a Horspanic flamenco with partners, and her mane looked as messy as Rainbow remembered it being the day they met, after her "patented Rain-blow dry" attempt to dry her off from the mud puddle.

"Coffee would be a gift from the Maker's own realm, at this point," Twilight spoke heavily. "Ugh, too early...!" She shook her head as if she were a puppy or kitten trying to shake itself dry from a dousing.

As Quick Type hurried to the office coffeemaker, Spike reached down and removed a thick padded envelope from Twilight's saddlebags. "Miss Type?" he called. "You can--" he yawned-- "keep going on getting that coffee for us, but here's what we really came to see you about." He gestured to her with the claw holding the envelope.

"Oh! Would that happen to be the rough draft of Mr.--Clavoli's, was it? Unusual name for an unusual being--legal brief?" At Spike's tired nod, her face lit with a smile. "Good! We've been waiting to get our hooves on this." Her horn lit and the package, surrounded by a light green magical aura, floated over and settled on her desk. Simultaneously, she reached the counter where the coffeemaker stood. "What size cup would you like? And do you take cream or sugar, your Highnesses?"

Pinkie squealed enthusiastically. "Cream and 37 sugars for m--mmph!" at this point, the sentence she would have continued was muffled by a glow around her mouth the color of green spring apples. Applejack glared at her.

"I think she was addressin' Twilight, sugarcube." The orange mare spoke in a quelling tone.

"I was, but the rest of you look like you could use something as well," replied Quick Type. "As long as it isn't too extreme a request; I am just one unicorn, after all. Now, Princess Twilight, how do you take your coffee?"

"At this point?" Twilight's eyes narrowed in frustration. "Darker than the blackest night and roasted in the fires of my rage."(2) She smiled sweetly at Quick Type, but her eyes were fiery, revealing her detestation of early-morning errands.

"Uh--yes, your Highness. I'll get as close as I can." Flinching, the yellow unicorn trotted over to Applejack to whisper in her ear, "She's... not about to go Nightmare on me or anything, is she?"

Applejack chuckled kindly, taking pity on the frightened public servant. "Nah, sugarcube, she's harmless. She's just notorious fer decidedly not bein' a mornin' pony."

"Oh, good..." Quick Type sighed in relief. "Saddle Arabian Dark Roast at level 8 it is, then..." She hurried to get Twilight's coffee request started, then turned to ask the rest of the Princesses standing in her office if they wanted drinks as well. Pinkie, free to speak again, called out: "Coffee for me, too, pretty-please, with cream and 37 sugars!!" She grinned widely as Rainbow and Applejack rolled their eyes in unison.

Applejack spoke next, ordering a mug of strong black tea. She lit her horn and conjured up a small crock, opening it to reveal Sweet Apple Acres' finest quality of apple preserves. Once Quick Type returned with her tea, Applejack spooned a dollop or two into the mug, then stirred it in. She picked up the resulting cup of mixture with her hoof, then downed a healthy gulp. "Ahh, now that hits the spot," she remarked in a satisfied tone. "No finer way to start a day anywhere."

Fluttershy was next to order. "I'll take any decaffeinated tea you have, please, but bring the hot water and teabag separately, um, if that's OK with you." Curious, Quick Type fulfilled Fluttershy's request, sitting back on her haunches afterward to see why a mare who had been up all night would ask for decaf. She watched as Fluttershy picked up the teabag in her magic grip, dipping it twice--no more--in the steaming water. The former pegasus then sipped the resulting... drink (one could hardly call anything that light a brew, Quick Type thought) and, to the secretary's wonder, was instantly awakened, the wrinkles and dried tears at the corners of her eyes seeming to peel off of her, as if she had just had a cup of Prench espresso with a generous dose of sugar instead. Quick Type's mouth fell open in sheer astonishment.

"Buh.. wha... How?!"

Fluttershy blushed as deeply as her mane color and hid behind her long tresses. The other alicorns laughed at the look of stunned amazement on the secretary's face. Rainbow explained, "See, Fluttershy has always reacted... kinda backwards when it comes to caffeinated drinks. I don't understand it either, but it's been this way with her ever since I've known her." She shrugged her wings. "Just one of those quirks a friend sometimes has, I guess."

Fluttershy peeked out from behind her mane. "Thank you for the tea, Miss Type. You're very kind."

Quick Type bowed to her. "Coming from you, your Highness, that means a great deal. Thank you." She smiled at Fluttershy, who blushed again, though not nearly so deeply as at first.

Rarity was next to request a drink. "Trottingham Breakfast Blend, please. Simply the perfect thing after a long night of work," she stated knowingly. "Ideally, it should be served in a fine Chineighse tea service, with milk, but one can't have everything, in an austere setting. Any cup you have will be fine, dear," she called after Quick Type. The unicorn returned with a plain brown mug of steaming reddish-brown tea... and a paper cup of milk!

"We can't do everything, your Highness, but we do what we can," smiled Quick Type. Last of all, she turned to Rainbow Dash. "What's your drink of choice, your Highness?"

Rainbow smiled. "HoBay Energy, if you got it."

Quick Type replied, smiling back, "Wait here, I'll go check." She cantered off down the hall in the direction of the employees' break room, returning triumphantly a minute or so later with the prize held high in her light green aura: a clear glass bottle about three hooves tall, embossed with the silhouettes of dragons slithering down its neck, which was filled nearly to the top with a dark red juice. "You're in luck!" she called to Rainbow, with a grin. "Last bottle in the vending machine! I've never tried this before. Looks intriguing. Can I have a taste?"

"Sure. Knock yourself out. Careful, though--it's stout stuff," Rainbow replied.

The unicorn took two sips of the maroon liquid, swallowing the first before really tasting it. She took a second into her mouth before gagging and spitting the mouthful into an empty paper cup she grabbed off a nearby desk. "Aughh! In deference to your Highnesses' presence, I won't describe what that tasted like. Bleah!" uttered Quick Type, shuddering.

Rainbow grinned. "Just wait."

True to the blue Princess' word, about five minutes later, Quick Type began to feel an expansive, zippy joy and alertness well up inside her head. "Wow...!" she exclaimed. "It's like... like somepony's playing my favorite exercise music just out of hearing range!" She looked over at Rainbow, bobbing her head in time to a melody none of the alicorns (with the possible exception of Pinkie Pie, who seemed to be rocking out to something with the same rhythm while sitting on a nearby couch) could hear. "What's in this stuff?!"

Rainbow grinned at Quick Type. "Nopony knows. Dragon flight instructors out at Horseshoe Bay invented it for their griffon clients. Gilda got me hooked on the stuff while we were at flight camp together. Tastes gross, but packs a real kick," she chuckled. "Great for a jump-start in the mornings!" (3)

"Boy, I'll say," the unicorn shot back, chuckling herself. "This stuff makes me feel like I could fly to Cloudsdale and back, (4) and have enough verve left over to run the Hosston Marathon afterwards! Wonderful choice, your Highness. In fact, now that I know they stock this here, I might just give up coffee!" She paused for a second. "Nahhh--coffee tastes better," she grinned. "I'll get right onto typing up this brief, your Highnesses. I should have it for you in a couple of hours. Shall I send a messenger to inform you when I'm done?"

"No need," Twilight spoke up, throwing out her chest and bouncing Spike off her back in the process. "Spike? Do you have that bottle of fire ready?"

"Right here, Twilight. I hit the stallion's room stall to do it for you in private,"(5) Spike replied, handing her a bottle of what looked to Quick Type like swirling green flames. Twilight lifted the bottle in her magenta telekinesis, transferring it to Quick Type's light green TK grip.

"When you're ready, just write us a note and drop it into this bottle. Rest assured, we'll get the message," Twilight said, smiling at what seemed to be some private joke.

"All right. Thanks for everything, your Highnesses!" called Quick Type, waving to the alicorns and dragon as they headed for the front door of the law offices. "See you soon!"

---

The princesses, while waiting for Quick Type's announcement, took some time to pursue their various passions in short bursts of activity. Twilight searched Appleloosa's public library for further precedents that could be used to bolster the case in favor of a just outcome, Applejack and Rainbow sparred in a friendly manner, Pinkie reprised her morning exercises, Fluttershy roamed Appleloosa's corrals, conversing with the dairy workers(6), and Rarity worked on plans for a new line of "Mild Western Chic" she planned on introducing someday. Soon enough, however, Spike gagged, thrust his neck out, and belched out a burst of green fire that resolved into a small note in Quick Type's meticulous hornwriting. It read, Finished, Your Highnesses. I've made three copies of the legal brief: one for the Appleloosa public record, one for Swift Justice's office, and one for us here at the Public Defender's office. You may come look them over, if you'd like, and we can discuss what's likely to transpire at Mr. Clavoli's trial.--Q.T. Twilight sent a telepathic call (7) to her friends, and they all met up at the bottom of the library steps to go back to Habeas Corpus' office together.

---

"You were right, your Highness," Quick Type called, waving to Twilight and her friends as the six of them came in for a landing, "the dragonfire bottle worked! Come in and we can look at the brief together!" However, as the six of them entered the building, Fluttershy told the secretary, "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, the only one of us here who's had anything even approaching legal training is Twilight. What could the rest of us possibly be able to contribute? Maybe we should wait out here in the hallway while you and Twilight go look it over... if that's okay with you, of course..." With a squeak of embarrassment, Fluttershy hid one eye behind her mane, keeping the other on Quick Type to see what she would decide.

Quick Type reared in mild shock. "But--but, your Highness... you're a Princess! You're an alicorn! Surely that means you have a better grasp on what it means to rule than most ponies-in-the-street would have... doesn't it?!"

"We've only all been alicorns for a bit over a month," responded Fluttershy. "I just don't know if I can do this...!" She sank to the floor, forehooves covering her head as she cowered in misery.

"What are you talking about?" exclaimed Quick Type. "An alicorn, having self-doubt?? But... you're the wisest of all ponies! Celestia and Luna are..." she trailed off, her head spinning.

"That's just it!" Fluttershy cried. (8) "Celestia and Luna are that wise because they've been around for the last thousand years or more! We haven't!! Ohhh!" The former pegasus stood to her hooves abruptly, turning on her back right hoof to run for the door.

"Your Highness! Wait! We can--" Quick Type's words were abruptly cut off as the office door slammed closed with a loud boom, Fluttershy making good her escape. The secretary wondered what to do, but fortunately for her, she was spared the necessity of a long explanation by Rainbow Dash's abrupt entrance. "I thought I heard Fluttershy scream! Which way did she go?!" demanded the speedster.

"She panicked over a... discussion... we were having, and ran out of the building," Quick Type explained. "I'm not sure where she went after that. I didn't see her leave, only heard it...." She hung her head. "She was saying some awfully strange things, Princess Dash. You need to find her, as quickly as you can. In her state of mind, I'm not sure what she's going to do..."

Author's Note:

(1) I admit there's a lot of teleporting going on, but they did just "recharge" with a nap and a good breakfast chapter before last, so... (Also, going meta, it seems like a good quick way to move the action along.)

(2) Well, it seems I used kirbuu's joke a little earlier than I'd intended... Oh, well. *shrug* Just one of those things that happens sometimes, I guess. Enjoy!

(3) A shout-out to one of my favorite RL energy drinks... Guess which?

(4) A unicorn. Flying. Without wings or magic. Think about that for a second.

(5) Nobody wants to see a dragon hawking up loogies, after all--even if they are gouts of flame.

(6) Cows, of course. Maybe a goat or camel here and there, too--who knows?

(7) There is precedent in the show for this; I could've sworn I've seen Celestia and Luna conversing with one another without moving their lips at least once.

(8) An outcry for Fluttershy might be something like this. Heh.

I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Comments

[RealityCheck]

You're spending a lot of chapters on what would, even IRL, be a minor issue. this isn't a MURDER TRIAL, after all. Just a case of disturbing the peace. Setting aside that as princesses, they all outrank the local authorities anyway and could just say "let him go, he's pardoned," and be done with it... this many chapters on something so minor is overplaying it. It's over-wrought and boring.

Also, you may be a foodie, but you're spending too much time dwelling on fairly uninteresting breakfast stuff. An entire chapter dedicated to continental breakfasts--- the very definition of "a quick and uninteresting meal"--- is too much. And more importantly it has nothing to do with the action or plot of the story... it becomes a distraction the reader skims past, looking for the meat of the chapter.