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Lucefudu

Joined November 2011
302 followers

Iatrogenesisist extraordinaire!

Stories (23)

Blog Posts (42)


After fleeing from Ponyville, Trixie scolds herself for ruining another grand opportunity in her career as a showmare. Once she remembers that most her belongings were forgotten on the small town, Trixie rushes back to retrieve them. It is then that she meets another pony, unbiased and unprejudiced, who unawarely gives the cerulean showmare a nudge in the right direction.

(Featured on Equestria Daily)

[Cover image by Rautakoura]

First Published
12th Mar 2012
Last Modified
12th Mar 2012

Comments ( 27 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 3d ago · · ·

you are aware that Pinkie saw Trixie humiliate her friends in Boast Busters, right?

#2 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 3d ago · · ·

FUCK! I wanted to be first.

Awesome job!

#3 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 3d ago · · ·

Great story. Gave me a feel... poor Trixie... her dad died... :pinkiesad2: :raritycry:

#4 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

>>316449 Did you even read the story? :facehoof:

#5 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

>>320407

no, and that is why I have been busy avoiding posting a response in the corner of shame.

I really do apologize for that, I was just annoyed to stumble across something that I was afraid had made the same mistake that so, so many other fan works have, so I posted. And then I found out I was wrong, and avoided dealing with it. Kinda an asshole move, I know.

I'll read it when it's not ogodwhyamIawake 'oclock in the moring

#6 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Overall, this was a good story. The emotions were good, and definitely made me feel bad for Trixie. However, the ending seemed a little bit lacking. The way she was talking at the very end, it seems like she realized her mistake, wanted to make it right, and yet still held onto her old ways. It would've been nice to see where the story goes after this, and if she really did change or not.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Great story! sorry for this nitpicking but "She felt her some of her" are you sure it should not be "She felt some of her"?

#8 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 22h ago · · ·

Great story there for a great character. There is a core of good in her, I can see it. Heck, it was onscreen! :trixieshiftleft: I so wanted to hug her there.

#9 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

Typos, typos everywhere:

making they seem especially bright today than ever.

them (not they) -- today more than

She wanted so bad to settle down

badly

when, and more importantly, how

when and, more

spinning both himself and little filly around.

the little

My back isn't what it used to be. Hehe." The little filly let go of her father and waited anxiously as the stallion rose,

He rose? they’re not human he wouldn’t stand up or hurt his back from her hugging his front legs.

which only nodded in response,

whom (not which)

were to spot her on the small town.

in (not on)

An invisibility spell and an illusion spell? No, she is not nearly that powerful, in the show she couldn’t even make a decent stick figure illusion.

Trixie shrugged those thoughts; she could pause to think about it later, once she was far, far away from Ponyville,

thoughts off; -- was far, far, away

Gripping the few pieced of information she could

Pieces

Pinkie Pie said, gigglind a bit.

giggling

humming happily a song while she did so.

happily humming a song

no doubt the one she had spoken a while back.

spoken to a

She felt her some of her joints disjointing

felt some

Pinkie Pie "I'm gonna throw you a party!" *wanders off and does nothing.*

Yeah this story is lousy; errors all over the place, directionless storyline, clichéd plot that's been done much better, and I don't like having to stop every other paragraph because of typos.

#10 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>328071 Valid points. But let me ask you: why exactly did you stop "every other" paragraph because of typos?

#11 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>328155

Because I've learned that when I tell authors that they're story had typos they'll just ask for me to point them out, but I can't really do that without going back over the story; so, instead, if I see too many typos while I'm reading I'll just start copying them into a word document. Although I know it looks rude to leave a review like that, sorry.

Oh and by "every other" I was just generally speaking, I do that a lot.

#12 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>328181 No problem; I'm not mad. :twilightsmile:

I literally got curious because you were the only one who disliked it (not saying that it's a bad thing, mind you). I am happy about this because now I have someone to "argue with". :pinkiehappy:

Can I ask you you tell me what else you thought about it other than the typos?

(Please, be as harsh as you may. I know when one of my stories isn't.. 'there', y'know?)

#13 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>328193

Well, like I said, I didn't like that the story wasn't cohesive; that Pinkie was going the throw Trixie a party but then just didn't do it... the story seemed like it was going to be about Pinkie redeeming Trixie but it was more like 'Pinkie and Trixie talk for a few minutes then she leaves.'. Most of the story here was just in the back-story and while it's not the worst I've seen it was defiantly not the best either. I really don't have any further thought on it.

#14 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>328241 I see. It's not that Pinkie "called off" the party. And she didn't said that she would throw a party in the future for Trixie. On her looooong speech, she states that she prepared a party for Trixie, even though her friends told her that Trixie was a boaster. Then, she states that her friends came up to her and told her that Trixie left; so Pinkie was left partyless.

I agree that the "Trixie Redemption" already is kind of a cliché, but I'm going to defend myself by saying that this story was written a long time ago. It was part of a single story which held together my One-Shots. I simply deleted it and uploaded each story individually.

And yes, it does look rude to leave a comment like that. Anyone else could've thought you were raging about it.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 18h ago · · ·

congrats on EqD!

#16 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 17h ago · · ·

>>328271Um, honestly, not every story has to be totally-epic.

The Blue; The Fool definitely went over a pretty used storyline and storytelling device, but it felt fresh and had a lot of new insight! This makes it a story worthy of reading, and definitely better than most out there.

See, if Fluttershy or even Twi had encountered Trixie, that would have been "just another of those stories." By your summary, I was anticipating Rainbow to come across Trixie, but Pinkie was a surprising choice. :pinkiehappy:

  As usual, Pinkie did not understand the full situation, but if there's one thing we know about her, it's that she loves ponies and does not hold grudges. Maybe it's because she saw how sad Trixie was, or maybe that's just how she is.

   Sad past aside, I think the best thing about this story was the explanation of Trixie's cutie mark. You led up to the final flashback without making it forced, and we can only imagine what must have happened for happy Filly Trixie to change so much...

Forget typos and grammar--if it's this clean, it's clean enough. Author, it'd be your duty to go and fix them yourself. The story itself was well-done and fresh, especially with all the Trixie background speculation that's been going on.

Thank you for your efforts! :twilightsmile:

#17 · Chapter 2 · 123w, 13h ago · · 1 ·

Giant :pinkiehappy: outta nowhere! :pinkiegasp:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 10h ago · · ·

The scene with her and Pinkie made me d'awww. Pinkie makes a great literary vehicle for therapy.

#19 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 4d ago · · ·

Ugh... I think I have something in my eyes...

#20 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 3d ago · · ·

A very solid fic. Filled with emotion too. Congrats, I really liked how you portrayed Trixie here.

It's amazing the community is able to put such degree of depth to those one-shot, use-and-forget characters.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 119w, 3d ago · · ·

curse you for making such a awesome yet sad story.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 118w, 4d ago · · ·

This is yet another sad, reflective story. Touching, and fulfilling, but so incredibly sad. Must not shed manly tears...

Seriously guys...

#23 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 6d ago · · ·

SO WONDERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

:yay:

#24 · Chapter 2 · 112w, 6d ago · · ·

X > Y

:rainbowwild:

#25 · Chapter 1 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

And what a doozy of a doozy it was.:pinkiecrazy:

#26 · Chapter 1 · 77w, 2d ago · · ·

Excellent job, I almost cried (ok maybe 1 tear, but that's it)

#27 · Chapter 1 · 70w, 5d ago · · ·

her frantic escapade from the little town

*escape

'The wagon was all that was left of my father's expenditure after he... he...'

Is "expenditure" supposed to be "inheritance"?

She fought back the urge to attack the one standing behind her, but she thought that it would turn out to be uneventful.

"Uneventful" is clearly not remotely the adjective you want. "Unwise," perhaps? Or just "a bad idea"?

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