The Blue; The Fool

by Lucefudu

Author's Notes

Inspired by:

Makkon & Jeffthestrider - A Waltz For Trixie

Makkon's Original

Jeffthestrider's Version

Instrumental Piece

---

Message to Jeffthestrider and Makkon: Once again, thank you both for letting me write this story using these beautiful pieces of yours. You both rock. Woo-hoo!

Double-music feature. The G.a.P.T. deserves it! Also: Pinkamena Diane MOTHERFUCKING Pie's debut appearance, BITCHES! It took me long enough to write something with her. It's harder than it looks: Pinkie is a rather complex character (but fun to write nevertheless). By the way, do Pinkie's antics qualify this story to earn a [Comedy] tag?

As Boast Busters is an earlier episode than Feeling Pinkie Keen, Pinkie doesn't know yet that her shaking is about something unexpected happening (The doozy).

Comments regarding "X version is better than Y" will be sent to the moon. No bananas included!

"X version is better than Y. ~Giggle~"

PINKIE PIE!

Comments

[Darkdrake]

you are aware that Pinkie saw Trixie humiliate her friends in Boast Busters, right?

[Background_Pony]

FUCK! I wanted to be first.
Awesome job!

[Lucefudu]

316449 Did you even read the story?

[Darkdrake]

320407

no, and that is why I have been busy avoiding posting a response in the corner of shame.

I really do apologize for that, I was just annoyed to stumble across something that I was afraid had made the same mistake that so, so many other fan works have, so I posted. And then I found out I was wrong, and avoided dealing with it. Kinda an asshole move, I know.

I'll read it when it's not ogodwhyamIawake 'oclock in the moring

[xgfhj]

Typos, typos everywhere:
making they seem especially bright today than ever.
them (not they) -- today more than
She wanted so bad to settle down
badly
when, and more importantly, how
when and, more
spinning both himself and little filly around.
the little
My back isn't what it used to be. Hehe." The little filly let go of her father and waited anxiously as the stallion rose,
He rose? they’re not human he wouldn’t stand up or hurt his back from her hugging his front legs.
which only nodded in response,
whom (not which)
were to spot her on the small town.
in (not on)
An invisibility spell and an illusion spell? No, she is not nearly that powerful, in the show she couldn’t even make a decent stick figure illusion.
Trixie shrugged those thoughts; she could pause to think about it later, once she was far, far away from Ponyville,
thoughts off; -- was far, far, away
Gripping the few pieced of information she could
Pieces
Pinkie Pie said, gigglind a bit.
giggling
humming happily a song while she did so.
happily humming a song
no doubt the one she had spoken a while back.
spoken to a
She felt her some of her joints disjointing
felt some

Pinkie Pie "I'm gonna throw you a party!" *wanders off and does nothing.*

Yeah this story is lousy; errors all over the place, directionless storyline, clichéd plot that's been done much better, and I don't like having to stop every other paragraph because of typos.

[Lucefudu]

328071 Valid points. But let me ask you: why exactly did you stop "every other" paragraph because of typos?

[xgfhj]

328155
Because I've learned that when I tell authors that they're story had typos they'll just ask for me to point them out, but I can't really do that without going back over the story; so, instead, if I see too many typos while I'm reading I'll just start copying them into a word document. Although I know it looks rude to leave a review like that, sorry.

Oh and by "every other" I was just generally speaking, I do that a lot.

[Lucefudu]

328181 No problem; I'm not mad.
I literally got curious because you were the only one who disliked it (not saying that it's a bad thing, mind you). I am happy about this because now I have someone to "argue with".
Can I ask you you tell me what else you thought about it other than the typos?
(Please, be as harsh as you may. I know when one of my stories isn't.. 'there', y'know?)

[xgfhj]

328193
Well, like I said, I didn't like that the story wasn't cohesive; that Pinkie was going the throw Trixie a party but then just didn't do it... the story seemed like it was going to be about Pinkie redeeming Trixie but it was more like 'Pinkie and Trixie talk for a few minutes then she leaves.'. Most of the story here was just in the back-story and while it's not the worst I've seen it was defiantly not the best either. I really don't have any further thought on it.

[Lucefudu]

328241 I see. It's not that Pinkie "called off" the party. And she didn't said that she would throw a party in the future for Trixie. On her looooong speech, she states that she prepared a party for Trixie, even though her friends told her that Trixie was a boaster. Then, she states that her friends came up to her and told her that Trixie left; so Pinkie was left partyless.
I agree that the "Trixie Redemption" already is kind of a cliché, but I'm going to defend myself by saying that this story was written a long time ago. It was part of a single story which held together my One-Shots. I simply deleted it and uploaded each story individually.

And yes, it does look rude to leave a comment like that. Anyone else could've thought you were raging about it.

[Darkdrake]

congrats on EqD!

[Foggylander]

328271Um, honestly, not every story has to be totally-epic.

The Blue; The Fool definitely went over a pretty used storyline and storytelling device, but it felt fresh and had a lot of new insight! This makes it a story worthy of reading, and definitely better than most out there.

See, if Fluttershy or even Twi had encountered Trixie, that would have been "just another of those stories." By your summary, I was anticipating Rainbow to come across Trixie, but Pinkie was a surprising choice.
As usual, Pinkie did not understand the full situation, but if there's one thing we know about her, it's that she loves ponies and does not hold grudges. Maybe it's because she saw how sad Trixie was, or maybe that's just how she is.

Sad past aside, I think the best thing about this story was the explanation of Trixie's cutie mark. You led up to the final flashback without making it forced, and we can only imagine what must have happened for happy Filly Trixie to change so much...

Forget typos and grammar--if it's this clean, it's clean enough. Author, it'd be your duty to go and fix them yourself. The story itself was well-done and fresh, especially with all the Trixie background speculation that's been going on.

Thank you for your efforts!

[richfiles]

Giant outta nowhere!

[Dante Kami]

X > Y