Four months after dash was born her parents did not want her anymore. They went to Celestia to see if she would find her a good home. But when Luna finds out dash is the Berrer of the element of Loyalty they decide to raise her as their own. But when Dashie learns to speak she said that she wanted some friends so Luna and Celestia set up a playdate six other toddlers.
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This needs serious editing but I like where it's going.
3638320 thanks for the update! All I need to do is find an editor
3638327 I could do it for you..if you want.
I can be editor
And great story so far
3638340 Yes please!!!!!
3638358
3638342
It can be a collaboration
Thank you to anyone who likes this story every saterday I will try to do a new chapter to this Tory and my other obe
This is good but there are a few spelling mistakes sorry for being a Grammar Nazi [Just trying to help]
1. " Wear were you? " Luna asked [you used the wrong wear it should be Where]
2. Luna herd a yawn from the foal. [You forgot a letter in herd] [herd in this case is spelled Heard]
3. You also spelled the Name the Chapter incorrectly [Biggining is incorrect it should be spelled Beginning]
4.This could not be right it just could'nt be. Luna Could not believe what she had just herd. Was this really true was this foal the next Berar of the element of Loyalty? Thinking about this made Luna fall [Ironically you spelled Bearer Correctly earlier but you put the ' in the wrong spot in Couldn't]
3638369 yes it can!
I have found some mistakes that I can list and dose that mean the fliers are off the hook? You forgot a few question marks and a few other things
But right now I only see mistakes I just saw going through the chapter again
But right now I only see mistakes I just saw going through the chapter again
3638380>>3638400 thanks guys
My stuped spell check never helps me out when I truly need it
Don't put a space after you use "
There's no need, for example.
You do it like this. " I love playing tennis! "
When it should be like this "I love playing tennis!"
3638402
3638327
I've done a bit by cleaning up the obvious and fixing a bit of punctuation. I'll send you what I've done in PM's
3638463thanks
3638320ok
Im going to enjoy reading this ]
I haven't read this (nor do I really plan to), but after reading both the long and short descriptions, I'll say that you need an [Alternate Universe] tag for this. There is no possible way that Princess Luna could adopt Rainbow Dash if she's imprisoned as Nightmare Moon. Plus, there have been one or two flashback scenes with Rainbow Dash's father in the show.
Spelling and grammar are the only things that didn't get a fav from me :( otherwise, this has potential i think
Awsome you get a fav
3640679 why thank u
cute chapter
3653413 thx
3654649 Your welcome
Anakastories when will the next chapter for this story come out
3665599 probubly Christmas eve
3667190 ok
If you like this story you'll like my next one!
that ok and i had a fun christmas
MERRY CHRSITMAS PEOPLES HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS HOPE U HAD FUN!
3682033 same to you and i will have a good christmas
i know you'v all want a new chapter but i dont have any ideas so ur gonna have to wait enless u fans have some that could be really useful for age three :D
still waiting for chapter ideas
3766597 i don't have any chapter ideas for this story sorry and i hope you can make the next chapter for this story soon
3845566 thanks anyway ill ask some friends :)
3848290 Your welcome anyway and ok
Anakastories do you have ideas for the next chapter yet for this story and sorry of putting a lot of comments on this story
3941753 no no your fine and yes actually I have some ideas but I'll get to it later
3941828 ok and yay
well written, good job!
3975316 thanks
So reading this when I can get around to it
Not much to go on and remembering that this is an alternate universe where I assume luna never became nightmare moon is still a little hard to get use to, but I'm liking it so far. Glad I favourited this
Short but cute.
The mane six are together, yes!
Can't wait for the next chapter. I assume they'll get their cutie marks the same as before, rainbow's sonic rainboom.
4019494 yes that will stay the same