Breaking the fourth wall

by bron33guy

Chapter 2

Later that night, the party at Twilight's goes up, and, I see Pinkie Pie zipping around the library, putting up party stuff. 'bout the only thing I'm going to do is hang around and make sure that the time-stream plays out how I remember. As the moon starts to come out, Twilight trots by, Spike in tow. The library's dark, in preparation for Twilight's surprise party. Twilight heads inside, and a moment later, the light comes on and I can hear a faint "Surprise!" in the voice of Pinkie Pie. Might as well head on in, and join in.

Inside, there's a party atmosphere, Pinkie jumping around, pestering Twilight as she does in the show. When Twilight she takes an accidental swig of Fire Sauce, the look on her face tells me that it's awful spicy. I do smirk when Pinkie Pie snags down an entire cupcake loaded with Fire Sauce and doesn't even sweat. Twilight, rather huffily, heads upstairs, presumably to her bed where she can get some peace and quiet.

The party goes on well into the night. There was a funny moment about an hour after Twilight left. Somepony loaded a cupcake with a Fire Sauce center and left it lying around for Spike. Naturally, Spike picked it up and ate it. The dragonsfire belch that Spike made outside was so spectacular that he fell over laughing and the rest of the pony pack started lauging too.

I pulled Spike aside briefly later on, and mentioned that maybe he should go check on Twilight. Somepony shouted out: "Does anypony wanna play pin the tail on the pony??" A rampant mini stampede followed.

"Maybe you should mention that there's a pin the tail on the pony game on?"

"Yeah, sure"

Spike dissapears up the stairs to try and coax Twilight to come and join in. Well, I know how that ends. When Spike reappears, he's shaking his head. I head quietly upstairs to try my luck.

"Still concerned about 'her' I see" I say, out loud with my front hoof crossed, leaning on the doorway to the bedroom.

Twilight jumps.

"You again!"

"Me" I reply

"I'm still not sure that I should trust you"

:"And you would be right about that. But, as I said before, friends are better than what you know. Trust me on that. It'll come in handy"

The purple mare student of Celestia's sighs.

"I don't need friends."

"What would your BBBFF say about that?"

"So you know a few things. Hmph. Still, why should I trust you?"

"Let's just say that I know more than you think, and bandying about the info that I know would be rather dangerous"

"Such as?"

"That there's a game of pin the tail on the pony downstairs running. Wanna come out of your book cave and join us?"

"I know, Spike told me. But I would rather read up on 'her' as you put it, than engage in silly games when 'she' is returning"

I sigh.

"Okay then. But if you change your mind, there might still be some punch leftover"

"Oh haha."

I teleport out of there, somehow managing to re-appear next to Spike.

"There any punch leftover?"

"Nope. Pinkie Pie used the last bit, along with the rest of the Fire Sauce"

"How does she take down that much Fire Sauce in one hit?"

"There must be a trick to it." Spike groans.

"What's up?"

"I think that supersized fireball that I belched up earlier might have used a bit more dragonsfire than I expected" he replies.

"Hey, are you gonna bed down here or out in a field" comes a voice. (only just now did I realize how late it was)

"And who are you referring to"

"Both of you. You know a fair bit about stuff that most ponies shouldn't even know about, and Spike's my assistant"

"So what your saying is that you're offering me a bed to snooze on."

"No, I'm just going to keep you around for the heck of it" The purple mare staring down at us two from the stairs says.

"Was that sarcasm?"

"There's a spare bedroom down below, near the old lab's door." She replies "Come on Spike, bed. I'm going to do some late night reading"

I head downstairs and locate the door Twilight was referring to. Opening the door reveals a small room, coated with a thick layer of dust on all the ancient furniture. I light the candle and remove all the dust magically and repair the bed.

Curling up, I start to think about the events that have fallen upon me since arriving here.

Before I've reached the part where I crash land in the Everfree Forest, my eyes close and it's sleepy time.

Author's Note:

Sorry for the delay in the new chapter! Had to stick around with family for Hearth's Warming Eve and be sociable. As usual, comment!

Comments

[Xzaves]

4 likes, 27 dislikes?
I GOTTA READ THIS!

Edit: Doesn't seem bad enough for that amount of dislike, not the best story though.
Keep writing, you'll get better :]

[8542Madness]

Listen, I hate to be 'that guy' but if you have this many dislikes then you really ought to re-evaluate your writing. Study what the good writers are doing if you want to get better. The internet is also filled with millions of different tools and resources to help aspiring writers do better. God knows that I've had to use a ton of them myself. There's no shame in being a bad writer, I'm one myself. The shame is not trying to do better, because I know you can do better.

[bron33guy]

Hey, this is only my 3rd story y'all.

[bron33guy]

3622354 ..... Wat.

[Manes]

Even with the shit load of dislikes you still continue the story. I tip my hat you sir.
askandyaboutclothes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/HatTipCartoon.jpg

[Clocklike]

HEY SHIT BALLZ THAT'RE DISLIKIN' DIS!
OKAY THIS IS NOT A MASTERPIECE, AND ERRORS CAN BE SEEN EVERYWHERE... BUT COMON!

HE TRIES TO MAKE AN ENJOYABLE STORY, AND IM SURE IT WOULD BE HELPFUL TO GIVE FRIENDLY CRITICISM SO THAT HE CAN WORK ON IMPROVING HIS STORY, THAN JUST FUCKING INSULTS AND MOCKERY!

And hey, Mr. Writer, to improve your story, you MUST read, and take to heart, the official guide to write a good story, of the site.
(Your main problems in your stories are: the pacing, the "Mary Sue" OCs, the tenses, and of course, the grammatical errors.)

Also if you really can't fix all of those errors, get an editor.

But if you decide to not do any of those, I'll suggest erasing this story, to either re-write it from scratch, or moving on to another project/story.

[bron33guy]

3703881 Thank you for the CANTERLOCK piece , and I will go Twilight mode and read the Canterlot library's worth of words contained within the guide.

[bron33guy]

3703857 Thank you! I chose to ignore the dislike count and keep this story cookin' We all have our goofs and everyone in the beginning started from square one.

[bron33guy]

This piece is no longer being worked on. I'll leave it up, just note that this may or may not be finished in the future.