• Member Since 14th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 10th, 2014

bron33guy


E

Thunder Strike is a stallion working on the outskirts of Ponyville as a book repairist, when he finally succeeds in his lifelong idea: An artificial Alicorn. Listening to his conscience, he sends a letter to the Princess, Twilight, for a demonstration.
The catch is, he doesn't know if the Princess will like his new spell... nor does he know what will happen next...
(OC created with http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Creator-v3-397808116)

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 2 )

You keep shifting between present tense and past tense. You need to tell the story as though you are giving an account of things that already happened OR describing things as they happen.

yes, thunder strike. tell twlight. Not apple jack. :ajbemused: :twilightsmile: :ajsleepy:

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