- Member Since 3rd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Apr 23rd, 2020
Eros
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGjHsLnUO1U. So kik me if you want, I'm Railtaiser.
Eros
Joined 3rd Dec, 2013 ·
Offline
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Featured In10
Shipping 💖11,675 stories ·9,745 members
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Soarin x Thunderlane32 stories ·27 members
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Oh buck this is quite a funny read, Thunderlane is sure in for some fun
Words can't express how much I love this. The kissing is made so well and all.. I .. I ...
love it!!! need more!!!
Fimfic needs less coltcuddling.
Jotos (Gays) Lmfao
3584943
Really? I was worried I didn't write it well enough
3585030
Don't like coltcuddling? Don't read it.
That's quite the statement considering the abundance of f/f ships.
3585030
If you don't want to see coltcuddling, you should probably avoid people with a username like mine. ThatOneColtCuddler is kind of a dead giveaway.
However, you are correct in the sense that not everything on FiM should be coltcuddling. I shall be writing a serious story soon, that will not involve coltcuddling, if this pleases you.
3585115
Flint Sparks!
<insert Rarity's reaction to Sapphire Shores here>
3585142
Yay!
3585030
3585153
3585030
Actually, I think you'll find it needs substantially more.
Dang it! Just when they were getting to the good stuff!
Please do more forthis
3585030 No fimfiction needs less assholes who think their preferences are the most important and other people have no right to have different preferences.Screw you,you little douchebag.
Hello.
Let me show you how to find artists of pony pictures. Here we have Soarin and Thunderlane in a gayish situation. So we just need to open Derpibooru and search for soarin, thunderlane, gay. Right now this picture is fourth for this search (with my filters at least), and the artist appears to be Acstlu.
3597445
Thanks. I really don't like to leave cover art uncredited as it seems unfair to the artisit.
3596101
And you shall have more.
3596649
Eeyup. I will continue this, although I will have to change the rating.
3597694
Woohoo!
Besides - if nothing else, so far we don't have anything that contains the implied "if you wanna be a Bolt, you'll let me under your tail" in the title. ;)
3597704
Oh it's going to get waaaaay more serious.
Hello again.
Now that i have read this story, I will try to give you some advice. You will decide if it is nonsense or something useful.
The main problem is severe lack of thoughts on Thunderlane's part. His thought process here is basically: "I want to be a Wonderbolt, so I better go to training early. Oh, Soarin! Oh, he's hot! Oh, now I am in trouble. Oh, we're going to kiss and maybe more! Damn, a cockblocker. This will have to wait until the evening." You did not establish what kind of feelings Thunderlane has for Soarin: is Soarin his lifetime crush, or just the only attractive stallion around, or something else? Since this is supposedly a romance story, that should be the main focus.
And then there is Soarin, whose behavior is incomprehensible for me. Some cadet who happened to be in the same place with him gets a wingboner, so he immediately takes this cadet to his office and initiates sex with him. Even though he knows this cadet must be training in less than 15 minutes. As far as I know, people usually do not get in the mood for sex in this short time without even expecting it. And then we have this:
What feelings, exactly? All I see is some unhealthy lust without any actual emotions.
Also, "Celestia's orb" made me laugh for a couple minutes. Is "the sun" not fancy enough for you?
In short: for the main character you should describe his thoughts and emotions that lead to actions before he takes that actions. And for other characters, their thoughts and emotions should be possible to infer from their actions and words, at least in most cases.
3597760
Thank you for the feedback. That was something I've worried about for some time but I didn't really know how to address it. I will attempt to do better in the next chapter, and I'll fix this one to the best of my ability.
More please
It is pretty good for your first clop. It is much better then others first times.
Please sir may we have some more?
I really like it.
I always find it very cliche for a guy to deep throat flawlessly on first try, makes it more porno less real. Stumbling and difficulty in a sexual situation helps me get into it.
MOAAAAAAR??
But that and the fact tHAT CLIFFHANGER WAS CRUEL are my only remotely negative thoughts.
3607100
Yeah, I know it's pretty unlikely but I figured ponies have rather large throats so...
3607617
Good point.
3608003
When the mounting begins, I'll need to make it a bit more awkward, which I will.
Anyway, who said anything about this being Thunderlane's first time?
3610695
Does...that mean...you like it?
I...don't...understand.
3610733 love it but when he knows that he completely loves him and can't resist well shit..... good story though
3610749
I don't think either of them have really said or thought anything about love yet. But thanks.
eh i assumed
3610784
Forgot about that. Well, looks like my fingers decided for me. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
This is the best clopfic story ever!!!
3616709
ohstopityou.jpg
Actually, I think this one's kind of shit. I didn't do very well,
3608965
I thought it said that at one point, but also it would work better.
Thunderlane always waiting for the perfect stallion, and not thinking that when he actually DID get to the perfect stallion he wouldn't be that great at it.
Plus maybe it would work, yknow? Soarin a bit worried by taking Thunderlane's virginity, making it even more deliciously awkward
3617951
I guess I'll see what happens.
THAT WAS AMAZING! i am hoping for chapter three soon!
3617775 DUDE IT WAS THE BEST
3625722
Really?
3627397 Really I LOVE THIS!!
First time I read a colt cuddling clop. Not my thing, it is funny in places...I just can't ship f/f or m/m ponies with their own tribe. <shrug> Also,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NEXoEhVg2k
can i just have the cover image?....
I'm not normally one for these kinds of fics....but.....
DAMN THAT WAS HOT!!!!! *squee*
I keep reading this over and over PLEASE MORE!!!
3638636
I know, it's been a while since I updated.
But I need to be in a certain mood to write clop well, or it just turns out shitty. I will try my best though.
O.o why'd it stop.
