- Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Feb 13th, 2019
Marshal Twilight
A smut-peddling armchair general with a love for writing and ponies.
Marshal Twilight
Joined 22nd Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Marshal Twilight · 13k words · 357 32 · 9.8k views
- Marshal Twilight · 5.4k words · 407 38 · 11k views
- Marshal Twilight · 6.1k words · 867 53 · 33k views
- Neon Czolgosz · 5.4k words · 337 51 · 8.4k views
- Marshal Twilight · 8.4k words · 1,013 45 · 31k views
- Anonymous Pegasus · 4.5k words · 347 54 · 11k views
- Circumlocution · 6.6k words · 285 20 · 11k views
Featured In22
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,813 members
M/M Shipping1,286 stories ·2,805 members
Spitfire596 stories ·1,117 members
- All Mature2,242 stories ·650 members
NSFW3,907 stories ·1,373 members
Background Ponies970 stories ·358 members
- clop 288 stories ·103 members
High-Quality Mature Fiction597 stories ·3,082 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.162 seconds
Total duration
962 users online
61,901 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Fuck someone needs to draw some of these scenes!
4614020
Being the first to comment on a story doesn't mean a thing lol. If this was on my story, I would have deleted it.
th03.deviantart.net/fs45/200H/f/2009/140/a/0/This_Is_Delicious_by_SamhainStar.jpg
4614113
Uhh... how is any of that constructive?
Pretty good....pretty damn good >:) I say that is one of the best clops i have read
Ha, fucking funny. That was a good laugh. You should post this in Fetish Syndicate.
4614167 What are you talking about?
4614254 Oh, okay lol. That makes sense.
Well, not to be nitpicky, but Thunderlane really only f*cked Spitfire. I don't think it counts if you just oral another guy. Just saying.
4614400 So even if you suck another guy's dick, it wouldn't be gay? Yeah, sure; that makes a lot of sense.
Why is this called Spitroast when it's DP?
And don't say because of Alliteration, that's just a cop-out.
4614128
I said to be placed, silly!
Well now that I've read it, definitely a fine piece of clop. I'm not one to judge quality but it is amazing ^^
4614418 I didn't say that. And the downvotes was unnecessary. Thunderlane didn't technically did Soarin...he gave him a BJ, that's all. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be offensive or anything.
4614578
Yeah... like I said before, how is any of that constructive?
4614653 I'm not the most helpful of people, I get it okay? Would it just be better for you if I left this story without a mark to show my appreciation? I would like to display how much I enjoyed the story without fucking it up apparently every single time :/
Right. There's your upvote. ^^ Let's talk!
First of all, thank you for acknowledging that such a concept as the refractory period exists. Recovery is essential!
Secondly, you (and I assume The Abyss) have done a M/F/M where there's actual interaction between the males. And YES, A NICE, FRIENDLY BLOWJOB COUNTS. Thunderlane and Soarin' obviously have various concepts and comfort levels of and with their sexual agency and employ them with great fluidity. (How about that? And I don't even *have* a Gender Studies degree!) Bisexual ponies of the male-identified persuasion are always a welcome addition to clopfics. (I am so sorry. I'll stop now.)
A lot of your fic, though, suffers a little from the same problem I keep learning that I have: There's dialogue, and there's dialogue tags, but there's not a lot of action sometimes in between those one or two sentence paragraphs. A little more filler might be needed. Not a lot, but a little. Just as an example:
Still, it's a good clopfic threesome and they deserve as much time together as they want.
But I am going to deduct a point for Soarin' going in dry on Spitfire there. Asses are still not at the self-lubricating stage and neither her own fluids from her arousal, nor Thunderlane's blowjob on him, would be enough to prepare her. Lube is *essential* and there are smooth ways to insert it into a story (see what I did there? Huh?) without withdrawing from the mood entirely.
Lastly, the sex was pretty standard, but comfy Spitfire was good. Don't be afraid to experiment with positions and combinations, though, in the future. You've got a *lot* of choice and new stuff to surprise the readers doesn't hurt.
I have no clue why I just read this, but I didn't regret it. Have a like from the loose religious man.
On a side note, poor Rainbow
Not a bad fic at all. DP has to be one of my favourite things and you pulled it off nicely. 8/10 in my books.
4615110 If you're going to read a story and not give any tips or pointers, don't say something like 'constructive comment', it implies that you're going to give something... well... constructive. Y'know, helpful before future writing. If you're going to just say "wow that was a great clop scene" it's not really constructive...
Okay, I'm not into the whole M/M thing, but hey I'm not against it, so it was a good fic. the M/M part of it, just made this story what it is, if it would have been just the two stallions with spitfire then it's kinda bland, but since you made both Soarin and Thunderlane Bi, it made it a nice piece to read.
Thumbs up.
Despite the original misleading chapter title, it was a pretty good fic. Would love to see a successor. Maybe call it "Rainbow Dash's Fearsome Foursome" starring her, Thunderlane, Spitfire and Soarin.
4613870
You know, that's the downside about reading any clop I write. If I'm willing to do it, that probably means there isn't much porn of it yet.
4614192
Thank you!
4614400
An interesting statistic for you: 20-40% of gay couples do not engage in anal sex at all. It might have 'only' been a blowjob, but it was certainly closer to gay than straight, and I thought the warning would be a courtesy.
4615574
I can't decide if she'd hate Thunderlane for it, completely not believe him, or simply press for details. I think I'll go with 'jealous' and 'slightly resentful'.
4615864
I do believe this is the first time I've written DP. It's always nice doing something new.
4616106
Yeah, I structured the story specifically so that if people didn't like M/M, they could close one eye and focus on the straight sex. The original idea was going to be a pony train with Thunderlane in the middle and Soarin on top, but I figured that would make things a bit difficult for straight people.
4616479
I don't usually do sequels, but that idea does intrigue me, and I do like the title. In any case, thank you for the comment.
4615864
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Finally, a fanfiction that lets your eyes orgasm like Soarin. I really like your style, though I scarcely am to be found at clopfics. Sir Marshall, let me thank you for breaking my streak of stories with bad grammar. I liked how you let both Spitfire's confident and Soarin's casual, yet not clumsy, character harmonize. Very good work, though I wished you'd write more none-clop stories, you'd have a follower in me
4615373
First off, thank you for the long review! Authors should always appreciate the detailed ones like this.
Now, to address your points:
I did indeed want to have at least some interaction between Soarin and Thunderlane. I wanted to have a little something here for everyone, and the best way to do that was by having a little M/M on top of the M/F.
As for the dialogue, I completely understand what you are saying, and that is indeed a big problem for me. I think I can do the dialogue itself pretty well, but I also do too much of it, and without anything to 'break it up', so it drags on too much. I have trouble thinking of 'filler' to use, and I think that's a major weakness of mine.
As for Soarin going in dry, keep in mind that the story focuses almost entirely on Thunderlane's POV. He was completely focused on Spitfire, and couldn't see what Soarin was doing. Soarin easily could have applied some lube before he mounted Spitfire.
Lastly, if you've got any positions in mind for another story, I'd love to hear some. I might use them in my next fic, since I definitely like to mix things up a bit wherever I can.
4614128 Go fuck yourself. Is that constructive :) ?
The fic was good, though I agree with commentor below me. Going in dry like that is a big no no. All three fit well in the story like a properly working, but unlubed, machine.
4616804
Not at all. Blocked and reported.
4616817 I tried
4614418 I don't feel bad anymore. You are a dick
4616817
4616824
4616835
Stop. Seriously, right now. I will not have yet another of my stories deteriorate into a flame war in the comments. Any more comments like this, regardless of who starts it, and they get deleted. If anyone else wants to have a dickwaving contest, they need to take it elsewhere.
4616852 You got it, boss. I've said all that needs to be said anyways.
4616768
Well, there's only so many ways ponies can bend without being as marshmallow as Rarity or Pinkie Pie .... :P Although I often use the standard 'mount from behind while standing' pose for my fics, my last one I got adventurous and had Fancy Pants take AJ from behind while they were both lying on their sides. These are Pegasi ponies and they can certainly get adventurous.
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for the Thunderlane POV, although something to let the *reader* know something like that hasn't been forgotten... maybe an organic thing like, "Spitfire gasped and shimmied her hips, glancing back at Soarin'. Thunderlane felt a cool trickle down his groin and understood that the mare had been lubed up." (Roughly something like that. It needs an editor. And then I'll have to rewrite it and throw in another 1000 words to satisfy the brand-name quality of the lube company.... DAMMIT, I sold out!)
4616852 Indeed!
4614400 Ignore Abyss's comment.
If we're talking strictly whether or not Thunderlane "did" Soarin, than in a way yes you are right in a convoluted way. To put it vulgarly, whenever you walk around a highschool Guys don't really equate a bj with fuc*ing a girl. I'm not gay and I imagine it may be different, but you are technically right in a very specific way.
This is very gay though. If you told a friend you sucked someones dick than they would probably inquire about your sexuality. Also I don't think Thunderlane "doing" Soarin is in any way important.
Fluttershy's Fathomless Phallic Foursome?
Edit:
Oh...
4616738
If you decide to do another, I'd be interested in a pony train.
While reading your story, I realised that we desperately need a pony centipede.
4616854
Don't stoop down to his level. By replying to him, he automatically wins.
4622664 I don't need to say anything else. He's banned, and for good reason.
4616852
marshal pls
4614400
4614418 Interesting fact: It's only gay if the balls touch. So unless Thunderlane somehow contorted his body in a way that he was still fucking Spitfire and his balls were touching the balls of the stallion that he was fellating, then it wasn't gay. Still brings his sexuality into question, but it's not necessarily gay. Never done something like that personally, but I have friends who have shared the fact that they experimented back in high school. They're as straight as you can get, and they've at least tried it.
i47.tinypic.com/2lc4nz5.png
Also, Abyss, you were being quite a dick. You deserved the downvotes and the slight hate you got from that one commenter, because you were being pretty irrational with your responses.
4692111
Is that actually a fact, and if so who made it so? Not asking to be a dick I'm genuinely curious. I've always believed it comes down to personal preference. To me, a male sucking another male's dick is a homosexual act, to someone else probably not. To each their own and so on.
4921990 I don't know if it's actually a fact or not. That's just a saying that I've heard in some chat forums, as well as from some of my friends, one of which happens to have been gay at one point in time (He isn't now. He used to be gay, he used to be bi, and I believe he's pansexual as of right now, if I remember correctly. He's just kinda all over the place.)
Anyways, point being is that I can't really back up my claims. It's just me pointing out a view that I've taken as my own. However, I do find a guy sucking another guy off to be gay... though adding a female into the mix complicates things slightly.
Fucking excellent, loved it! Came too.
Such a beautifully written, hotter-than-a-volcano story. There really needs to be more of these three in the world of clop, and finding a story this well written is rare.
On a side note; I came to this as well. At the same time those two studs came inside Spitfire!
Oh yes, that's sure to make Rainbow Dash everlastingly envious.
could you do one with these three, but no gay stuff?
5314217
No.
5314633
5314217
It's not gay if they don't touch balls.