I do this just for fun -- but sometimes I take myself a little too seriously. I know life's too short, but -- you know...
This story examines the question of a possible alternate outcome to the episode "Too Many Pinkie Pies" and what might have happened had Twilight sent the wrong clone/real Pinkie Pie back to the Mirror Pool, irretrievably lost, and if the remaining one was one of the clones.
If you're a fan of Pinkie Pie, this story will make you sad.
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This is pretty well written, but it's an odd idea for a story. Is this just going to be us watching Pinkie slowly and unavoidably die? If so, what's the appeal supposed to be?
I definitely can't say I like this, but it's not like it was badly executed or anything. In fact, it is pretty decent. It just happens to be the elaboration of a scenario I've thought about before and that particularly depressed me, so yeah. But hey, no points out for that. It's doing its job of storytelling well. Keep up the good work.
My only advice is that this be turned into a one shot, with a far more definite ending. I feel like the nega-pinky would reach the conclusion she wasn't the real one before anypony else (though this is just my opinion) and would rather take time to remember the bright moments of their time together, rather than waste the time fruitlessly trying to restore a conjuration... Just my thoughts, well written besides my personal awkwardness. A good story without a doubt.
3553361 The second chapter is meant to finish this story.
3554165 When could we expect it?
Poor Twilight.
I don't think she realizes it yet.
Nothing will heal her. Even the elements might only
Kill her.
In every outcome,
Everyone loses.
I imagine the Mane 6 would be...
Should I say it? Can I say it?
Devastated...
Even delirious...
At Pinkie's state. But I digress.
Don't worry. Be happy. It's what she would have wanted.
3554639 Before the weekend is over -- it's still quite fresh in my mind, just waiting for me to type it in.
3553077 The story is a tragic alternate universe possibility of what might have happened had Twilight send the wrong clone back. It's supposed to be a very sad story.
SADNESS INTENSIFIES
derpy.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/138529461120.gif
gifs.gifbin.com/092009/1253885876_suicide.gif
Sequel
Ouch. From one firemark into a branding. One thing that I wonder would have to be how the other elements feel about this new occurrence. It would be an interesting to write of.
Otherwise, Very well.
That was..... depressing.
Princess Celestia... Number 1 JERKFACE!!!!!
Thats it!?!?
Why must you make me criey!!!
3594181 ikr
3691216 ITS SENDER PONY RUN FOR FUCKING LIVES!
3865504 never had that reaction to my name... I love it!
3866865 you never had this reaction to your name.
3869653 maybe once... I think once before.
3871287 shit that pic still creepy. Hey they should do a slender pony game that would be funny.
3871302 I would play that.
I liked the story and it was well written but one little thing bothered me about it
THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO BRING PINKIE BACK!!
Princess Celestia just said it most likely couldn't be done and left it at that! They didn't even try!
this reminds me of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XIII - Send in the Clones where one clone survives while the original dies.
This was writen gold right here!
>>Alert! Plot Hole Detected!<<
How does Celestia expect her to find a new Element of Laughter with these restrictions, especially without the help of the other Elements?
Come to think of it, everything in which Celestia was involved just inflated the tragedy to such a degree that it started to feel like cheap emotional manipulation. Forget that; her involvement was cheap emotional manipulation. You just kept piling more and more extra angst onto a story that would've been great without it. Rejecting her as a student? Confining her to Canterlot? Preventing her from seeing her friends? Really? For an accident? Enough is enough; the story had enough of it without the extra shoehorned-in punishments. That's not real drama; it's extra drama for the sake of adding extra drama.
It's said that negative reviews are just as important, if not more so, than positive ones. I don't know how much you've improved since writing this, since none of your newer stories are in genres I'm interested in, but either way, I hope this was informative.
4753112 Thanks for the comment -- I am still trying to improve my writing, so plot development can be a bit of an issue. Sorry if I disappointed you.
3691216 fluttershy's comment to the princess HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO TWILIGHT
. video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LijTNluceSA
4753112 I had a thought in my head for about an hour were I and all the anime characters confronted for this and she annoyed use so much we did what pinkie pie did in cupcakes and all the anime characters then left me to laugh while they got twilight out of jail and got pinkie pie back and saved twilight's friendship with rainbow dash.
Wow. I really don't ... just wow. Slightly depressing yes. With all the deaths and Twilight being booted from studentship and stuff.
Mike the Red... You have good story ideas, Ive peeked through a few of yours, but honestly your writing style is too rushed, you glaze over details and take the characters way out of their character in order to force your plot points.
So while this might have been a sad story i was too busy cringing to develop any emotional attachment. This story feels like every character had come from the mirror pool, flat non-dynamic characters that exist for the purpose of pushing your plot along.
Something i noticed you did a LOT in your other story, Project 187 or some rot.
I need a sequel! This looks interesting and needs a sequel!
you gotta be kidding me....i thought twilight the smartest one and celestia supposed to be the most powerfull being cant actually bring something back? what kind of shit powers she having anyway? and twilight being genius have at least think something
8355086
Remember when Celestia was defeated by Chrysalis?
Twilight in Lesson Zero?
8356807
righht forgot about there
Sad levels critical
This episode is definitely one of the darkest in the whole show, if one is to dig at least a bit below the surface.
Interpretations vary, from dispelling mindless magic constructs to Twilight choosing her friend by minimizing annoyance and killing the rest.
This scenario is probably the worst. All of them are perfect copies, sans only the original having a fully real body, yet they already are ponies of their own after a whole day of independence. All but one face a swift and hopefully painless death, and if the wrong one remains she'll envy those who went before her.
To everyone who dislikes the story for the bad ending: You've been warned by the description, weren't you?
To everyone who thinks Celestia is being a bitch: Twilight did commit either non-premeditated murder or mass murder, depending on how you look at it, so she got off easy. Rainbow does act like a bitch to her, though, for she's as much to blame.
Worst alternate universe ever!
It's a little ridiculous. Twilight is such a terrible character in this story: first she casually leaves after hearing doubts about getting a real Pinkie, discussed it, but forgets completely, doesn't visit her, despite all she just went through until others call for her, delays asking for help despite terrible situation, and feels guilty not for killing her real friend, but because princess will be disappointed in her. Doesn't even considers that she killed element bearer as well.
On top, elements should have worked with a one missing, and they should have honestly lost the right to use them regardless after what she's done.
Meh, this is just all around stupid.