Meet the Humans
Spike tossed and turned. His blanket was larger than usual, for some reason. He yawned as he opened his eyes. He wasn't greated by the familiar ceiling back in Twilight's room. Plus, his bed was really big! He turned to his left, and saw another body, sleeping next to him. Spike got a closer look, and yelped. The sleeping body woke up, and noticed him. They both stared at each other. Spike noticed how the strange character had a green spikey mane, and he wore purple pajamas. "AHHHHH! DRAGON IN MY BED!!!" the human screamed as he ran into another room. Spike's mouth was agape when he noticed that the creature could talk. The creature returned back with a sword, pointing it at him. "D-D-Don't make me use...this!" the creature exclaimed.
Spike only held his claws up. "Take it easy! I don't want to hurt anypony." he said. The creature stared at him, and dropped the sword at his side. He screamed again, and ran up the hall. Spike curiously followed him.
***************************************
"TWILIGHT! HELP!" a voice rang. Twilight groaned. "What is it Sp-..." she stopped when she noticed there was a second voice replying. She looked to her side, to see a creature staring at her. She instantly knew it was a human, for she has read about them before, in one of her favorite books "Mystical Creatures in Equestria". "What!?!? What are you doing in my bed?" Twilight asked, trying to look menacing. The other creature that just ran into the room was stunned. Spike had walked from behind him.
"Your bed? I should say, my bed!" the human replied. The other human was stunned. Spike was surprised also. The human that was in Twilight's bed had a purple and pink striped mane, and of course, had purple pajama's also. The other human near Spike had turned his attention to him. It took him a minute, but he figured out he meant no harm. Spike, with out any warning what so ever, was picked up by the human with the green spikey mane. "Awww. Twilight can we keep it?!?" he yelled out to the human with a purple and pink mane.
"Hey! Let me go!" Spike protested. The two Twilight's were still arguing. "Uh, Sure, whatever... HEY! Stay away from my book on the elements!" the purple maned human said, to the green maned and Twilight. Spike looked at the purple human in horror, as the green maned brought him back to his room...
*************************************************************************
"Hey! Why is there a horse in my bed? I know I partied last night but still! Man, that party was fun, with the cake, and games, and toys, and people, and...." a pinkie maned human began. Pinkie Pie woke up, and also noticed to human. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What are you? Who are you? Do you like cupcakes? Parties?" She announced. The pink maned human turned to her. "That's funny! My name is Pinkie Pie too! and I love Parties and cupcakes. I think everybody does!" she exclaimed.
Pinkie Pie looked at her. "Huh? Everbody?" she repeated. The human Pinkie Pie nodded. "Come on! I think Twilight would like to see you... After we make some cupcakes!" She clapped her hands together. Pinkie then followed the human into her kitchen.
***************************************************************************
"Oh... um... I'm sorry... pony? Did you... have a bad dream...?" a tender voice cooed towards Fluttershy. She opened her eyes and turned to her side. Fluttershy screeched when she saw a human looking back at her. "Oh don't be afraid.. Mommy Fluttershy will take care of you." the human said, trying to calm her down. Fluttershy looked back at the human in shock. "B-b-but... I'm Fluttershy..." she said. The human looked at her in shock. She also screamed and ran out of the room.
Angel walked in and stared at Fluttershy oddly. "Oh, Angel... what was that?" she asked the bunny as she got closer. The bunny was surprised, and also ran out of the room. Fluttershy was hurt, and she sat down and sighed.
****************************************************************************
Applejack awoke bright and early, as always. She turned to her side, and instantly noticed another body next to her. "What in tarnation?!?" she yelled rather loudly. The creature woke up, and also noticed her. "Hey! Why is ther a pony in mah room?" it said. Applejack stood in a battle stance. "Git out of mah room." she said plainly. The creature was dumb founded when she talked.
"How in the..." the creature started. it ran out of the room and came back with a brown and black stick that pointed right at Applejack. "I'll blow you right to kingdom come, demon!" it said. Applejack instantly knew it was a threat, so she bucked the stick right out of her hand, and it fell with a thud. While she was inspecting the stick for a moment, the creature quickly grabbed her by the legs and picked her up. "Gotcha! I a'guess it's best that I bring you down to Twilight's." it said. Applejack obviously protested as the human took her to Twilight's.
*********************************************************************************
Rarity woke up and yawned. She opened her eyes, and noticed something was in the bed with her. She screamed and the other creature awoke. It then saw Rarity, and also screamed. "Get out of here you horse! You will track dirt in my home!" it exclaimed. Rarity was dumbfounded. "Your home? This is my home!" she screeched back. The human stared at her.
"You... talk?" it said. Rarity nodded. The human fainted and Rarity was suprised by her reaction.
************************************************************************************
Rainbow Dash awoke in not her familar cloud home, but in a wooden cabin. "What the?" she said as she got up. She woke up the creature that slept next to her. "Who's there!?!?" it said as it got up. It then notices Rainbow Dash. Surprised the creature stare's at her. Rainbow dash did the same, but then went into a battle stance. "What are you!?!? Why did you bring me here?" she demanded to the creature.
The creature was surprised to hear her talk. "How in the world does a pony talk, and have wings?!?" it said. Rainbow went in for a tackle, but narrowly missed. Before Rainbow could turn around, she was grabbed by the tail.
That's when the creature made a mistake. Rainbow smirked as she flew through the house, with the human still holding on to her tail. Rainbow flew outside and in the sky, while the human yelped and climbed up to her back. Rainbow was slowed down by how heavy the thing was, and flew down to Twilight's place. She knew what this thing was. She flew down to the door and opened it up, to see a few other creatures with her friends. They were already discussing what to do next.
********************************************************************************
"I always wanted a pet dragon!" the green maned creature said as he brought Spike back into his room. Spike was still struggling to escape when the human closed the door. The door was taller than most doors, and was probably out of Spike's reach. "So, whats your name?" it asked. Spike sighed and gave up. "Name's Spike." he said weakly.
The human was surprised. "Wow! My name is Spike too!" he replied. Spike was shocked as he looked at human Spike. "Well, I think we should get down where you will sleep... Hey! We can use my old pet bed. We used to have a dog before we gave it away..." the human explained as he grabbed the bed. It was exactly Spike's bed!
*******************************************************************************
"Look girls, calm down. I know it's a big shocker to be living with human versions of us, but still." pony Twilight explained. Her friends nodded. "Hey wait! Where is Rarity?" Pinkie Pie asked. Twilight thought for a moment. "She is probably still at her house... lets go get them!" She replied. The humans and ponies agreed as they ran to Rarity's, completely forgetting about the two Spike's.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Laurenfaustsloyalfan · 17k words · 18 6 · 2.6k views
- UnderCover · 4.4k words · 14 2 · 1.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
724 users online
1,208,068 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Curious, tracking. Now, go on...
P.S. First
hi this seems pretty good
needs moar spike. jk but this is interesting and will track
312981
Yeah. Spike and Human Spike are going to have their own adventures while the others are trying to figure out what happen. So there will be PLENTY of Spike and his human doppelganger.
Sweet!
The formatting is a little... strange and there's a lot of telling instead of showing; in other words, this is riddled with short sentences. You could have, and should have, expanded more upon the situation. Also, why are you calling the human's hair styles "manes"? Humans have haircuts, ponies have manecuts; that definitely needs attention. The punctuation and grammar could use some touching up on as well.
Also:
She instantly knew it was a human.
How the heck does that work? Details are required here. You have an interesting concept with a lot of room to work with, but this needs some editing. This doesn't warrant my thumb.
Cheers
~Cosmic.
313038
Thanks for the criticism!
Well, I guess I should have explained some stuff some more. I called it manes, because, ponies don't really use the word "hair" so, I thought we should do this through a more pony perspective. Thirdly, I'll see what I can do with the grammar, I'm still building up my writing skills.
Quadruple, Well, I should really edit the story and put this in. Twilight just happened to read a book on mystical creatures in Equestria, and humans happen to be in the so called book. It clicked in her mind when she saw the human her.
Now, I should add that to the story.
It's ok i guess, but work on who's point of view it is, I'm getting confused
Does 'it' mean the ponies, or the human's, plz explain
But it's good!
313061
Eeyup. "It" means the ponies perspective. I should have probably said that in the desc...
I agree with Cosmic. Some of the details need some work. However overall I am interested in this story and I would like to see more. I wonder what kind of shenanigans will arise because of the humans/ponies appearance.
i demand a perspective on Lyra.
313076
Yeah, details are going to improve over time, if not, my username is not Gijake1!
Anywho, I am going to probably suspect some will be confused, because there are two pairs of one character, so the only way to identify is to call one a human, and the other the original. I should of gave the humans different names, but I wanted a real challenge.
313095
Don't worry, Lyra and Bon-Bon will be getting their own parts.
313107
i smell Human-flavored bon-bons
Before this all gets a little confusing, does this story take place in the Pony-version of Equestria or the Human-version of Equestria?
313121
Human version. I'm going to add that to the desc. now.
Interesting premise! Tracked, and I'll throw some thumbs at my screen.
I'd recommend making scenes a bit longer. The reactions were certainly pretty fun, but you don't want the story to jump all over the place. Take some time in the next chapter to get to know the characters and how they interact.
Good work!
313178
Yeah, I was worried I jumped around too much... The intro was supposed to show reactions, and now that we have groups, the story wont be jumping around every five seconds.
I'm also glad you enjoyed it!
"While she was inspecting the stick for a moment. The creature quickly grabbed her by the legs and picked her up."
I think that might be better off as a single sentence.
313210
Thanks. Fix'd!
313185
Interesting...
Oh, and i could totally call why the Manmeri attacked first
A. Is it scary?
- Yes
Hit it!
B. Is it too scary and is it obvious that you're going to die if you scare it?
- Yes
Run away like a little girl!
I do say, this is intriguing.
My confustion and intrest, have it all.
Confusing and interesting, I love it....Damn you saints row 3 for your stupid puns!
I would love to see Lyra's reaction to finding a human version of her in her bed. She'd probably explode (twice) from happiness. As has been mentioned your writing is a little shaky and sentence structure could use some work, but it isn't a deal breaker as the idea is interesting. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Looks good, no real criticism that has not been said before. Scenes are a bit too short, and the whole "there are talking horses/humans in my bed" problem seemed to get resolved pretty quick.
Tracking, and watching where this goes.
Hm... a tiny bit confusing the way you worded it in some places, but all in all, nice job so far. You've got one more tracker.
312983
thats coo. will we be expecting any shipping in this or no?
314944
Maybe friend-shipping, but that's it.
315108
ok thats cool
Seems interesting. Aside from this, "Ponies One Half", and one other fic, I haven't seen much fics involving the MLP cast involving both regular and human ("Ponies One Half" is where the Mane Six fall into a cursed lake and turn into humans).
Looks good so far, mate. Hope to see more.
Sorry for the lack of constructive criticism, but I... honestly have no idea what to say
.
a>run update.exe
609130
>running update.exe....
>Failed. Find problem?
Y/N.
"Y"
>Searching for problem...
>Problem found!
>Author is too lazy.
nice story. I like it but you were going to fast foward. the reactions of each of the characters were to small. sure the humans reaction was good but that the mane 6 know what a human is is just ruining it all.
still want to see were this goes.
610030 >Activate 'Character Reboot'
>Giant boot kicks Computer
Did it work?