Limited

by Cynical

Chapter 8: The Chain

Twilight woke up.

She yawned as she sat up in her bed and forced herself to get out of it and stretch in the harsh cool of her bedroom.

Spike knocked at the door and Twilight called for him to come in, twisting her neck to rid herself of an aching crick.

“Morning, Twilight,” Spike said as he entered, then paused, quirking his head towards her. “You’re up early.”

“This is when I normally get up, Spike,” Twilight admonished, walking towards her dresser and picking up a comb.

“Well… yes,” Spike said, backtracking, “But you were somewhat…” he paused, trying to think of the right words, “Out of it last night…”

“Well I’m fine now,” Twilight said shortly, brushing some of the snarls from her mane with grit teeth and wincing as some strands came with it. “Why don’t you take the tray downstairs? I’ll be down in a moment to eat; we’re going to take a trip up to Canterlot today.”

“Canterlot?” Spike repeated stupidly, still holding the tray loosely and looking at Twilight as if she’d grown a fifth leg.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Spike… Canterlot. I need to visit my parents and Celestia; It’s been a while since I did so and I’d like to pop in.”

“But… shouldn’t I stay here and look after the library?” Spike asked.

Twilight looked herself over in her vanity for another few moments before she put down the brush. “I’m sure if someone really wants to pick up a book, they can do so tomorrow. We’ve still got the deposit box, haven’t we?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“Then it’s fine. Now go on downstairs,” Twilight interrupted, cutting straight across Spike’s protest, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Sensing defeat, Spike turned around and left the room, more bewildered than when he entered and still carrying the tray. Once he’d left and the door had shut behind him, Twilight let out a sigh, closing her eyes and resting her head against the cool mirror.

She’d have to tell him again at some point… it was going to be impossible not to today. She’d considered leaving him behind and making a secret trip up to Canterlot as she’d done previously, but that would raise more questions from Celestia and her parents than it was worth… She lifted her head from the mirror again, resigning herself to telling him on the train ride up to Canterlot.

It was probably not going to be a pleasant journey.

She sighed and left the room, heading down the stairs to find Spike waiting for her in the kitchen, her breakfast left on the table next to him. She sat down next to it and started eating as Spike watched her, still bewildered.

Eventually, when she’d gotten through her first slice of toast, he asked, “So what’s the real reason that we’re going to Canterlot?”

Twilight raised her eyebrows at Spike, “The real reason?” she clarified, keeping her voice level.

“You never go anywhere just to visit anyone; not even our- your parents.”

“And maybe today is the day I change that,” Twilight said, trying to emphasise just how fruitless it would be for Spike to prod her for any information to the contrary, emphasising that fact by picking up the second slice of toast and starting to eat it.

Spike bit his lip, holding back any judgement he might have had and Twilight smiled internally. He probably had his doubts, but he was unlikely to raise them again until they were on the train, at which point she’d be able to answer his qualms truthfully.

Goody.

She quickly shushed the sarcasm that her brain threw up, even if she agreed with it half-heartedly. She wolfed down the rest of her breakfast and passed the plate over to Spike who washed it up.

“I’ll get some money and then we can be on our way,” she said, standing up from the table, well-aware of the glance that Spike shot her as she left the kitchen.

She found a piece of paper and wrote a few sentences on it, saying that the library was closed for today and was due to re-open tomorrow. Once that was done, she readied a bag of bits quickly, making sure that they had enough for the train and for lunch later today, before she turned back towards the library at-large. Spike was waiting at the door for her and she joined him, letting the two of them out before she closed and locked the door behind them.

Spike had already propped the letterbox open and Twilight placed the sign she’d been carrying on the front of the door, hoping that it wouldn’t blow away during the day.

“Let’s go then,” she said after another moment of inspecting her work, and the two of them set off towards the train station.

True to her prediction, Spike didn’t prod her for any information during the walk and she hummed a quiet tune to herself in the early morning quiet, glancing up towards the large clock in the centre of the town every now and again to make sure that they still had time.

Once they reached the train station, she bought the two of them tickets to and from Canterlot just in case they wanted to get back later and they headed out onto the platform where the train was just pulling into the station.

They boarded the train on the same almost-empty carriage that Twilight had joined before and found a few seats at the opposite end of the carriage from its sole occupant.

They sat down and Twilight waited patiently for Spike to speak as she carefully lost herself in the ambient noises of the train station. As it was, she had to wait until the train started moving again before Spike spoke.

“I don’t buy it…” he started, “You don’t do things spontaneously; that’s just not you.”

Privately, she wondered whether or not he’d believe her if she told him about her exploits in Canterlot a few days ago.

“Why are you really going to Canterlot?” he pressed again.

She bit her lip, trying to think of how best to answer the question and how best to go about soothing him afterwards...

“Well?” he asked after Twilight kept staring out the window, trying to think her way around the answer.

She sighed; maybe a blunt answer would be best for this. It would shock him, making him less-likely to immediately cry foul and giving her time to soothe his worries and fears.

“I’m dying,” she said suddenly and, true to her predictions, Spike’s jaw dropped soundlessly as she continued, talking ahead of the inevitable sadness. “I’ve been dying for a while actually… and I’d like to tell my parents and Celestia what’s happening. This might be the last chance I get to do so, and I’d like to say…” She could feel her throat constricting, choking her words as her emotions caught up with her, “I’d like to say… to say goodbye to them… at least once.”

Her throat finally won out and she quietened, focussing on gulping down her sobs to stop herself from breaking down in front of Spike.

“Y- you’re… You’re dying?” he said, almost silently. Twilight nodded soundlessly and Spike’s eyes widened further. “But… but… Celestia can save you, right? That’s why we’re going to Canterlot, right?”

Twilight remained silent, looking away from Spike and letting him connect the dots.

“There must be something we can do!” he exclaimed and Twilight thought she saw the only other occupant of the carriage open an eye and look at them lazily.

She sighed, remembering why she hadn’t broached the subject since the second time she’d done it. “There isn’t,” she replied, her voice controlled, “I’m going to see my parents and the princesses and explain my situation to them. There’s nothing they can do, Spike.”

“Well check when you see them later,” he demanded and Twilight looked at him, surprised. “I’m not going to sit here and… and… do nothing when you’ve just told me that you’re dying,” he continued.

‘There’s not much you can do,’ Twilight thought bitterly, but she shook her head and smiled slightly, trying to placate Spike. “I’ll ask them when I go to see them,” she said, already knowing that it’d be pointless.

Thankfully, it seemed to satisfy Spike, who nodded. “Good,” he said with conviction. “You’ll see, the princesses have fixed all your other problems; they’ll be able to fix this too.”

Twilight smiled to herself but didn’t reply. That Spike had confidence in the princesses’ ability to solve every problem was charming, yet didn’t provide her with any comfort in the long run. As it was, she was going to have to shatter that confidence at some point later in the day.

As if today wasn’t already fun enough.

She considered broaching the subject again but decided against it as the scenery changed abruptly, turning from green fields into stone houses. Her lips thinned. “Let’s visit the princesses,” she said, standing up as the train started slowing down.

Spike stood up with her. “You’ll see,” he repeated, as if it was a mantra.

The walk to the palace was quiet and quick as Twilight expertly navigated the streets, Spike trailing along after her as she set a pace to be reckoned with. Soon enough, they were in front of the castle and they went inside.

“Why don’t you wait in the library,” Twilight suggested amicably to Spike as they passed through the front doors.

He shook his head resolutely. “No; I’m coming with you,” he said, “I’m not going to let you forget to ask the princesses.”

Twilight’s mouth thinned again but she stayed silent. At least this way, she told herself, at least this way, he’ll find out sooner rather than later.

It was still early in the day, so she headed straight towards the throne room where court was normally held. There were always very few petitioners in the early morning, Celestia had once commented on it to Twilight, saying that if as many ponies turned up in the afternoon as they did the morning, she might as well hold a single hour of court each day.

They reached the throne room. Its closed doors were flanked by two guards, both of which were annoyingly familiar to her. She groaned, then cursed herself as one of them turned towards her.

“Hey! Hey Bill! It’s Princess Twilight,” he said excitedly, and his companion turned too.

“It is,” the second guard, Bill, said in surprise, “You must be here to see the princess, right? I’ll go and tell her that you want to speak to her.”

“No, wait!” Twilight started, but it was already too late as the guard disappeared through the door, leaving her alone with the first guard, Bob if she recalled correctly. She sighed and slumped to the ground as the remaining guard looked about nervously.

“Don’t you worry, princess, Bill will have you with the princess in a jiffy,” he said to her in an unforgivably cheery voice.

“Would you please just be quiet,” Twilight said softly; she’d had enough of him. She hardly needed any more distractions from what she was going to do.

“Of course, princess,” Bob said, surprised, “I can be as silent as a mouse, except quieter because mice aren’t very quiet; what with their squeaking and-“

A zipper appeared across his mouth and fastened it shut mid-sentence. The rest of the wait was blissfully silent for Twilight, whose head was throbbing painfully. Even Spike stayed quiet. When Bill eventually came back through, she smiled at him and went into the throne room, leaving the two guards to their thoughts.

In all the years she’d been at the palace, the throne room had never changed very much. The only items that seemed to have changed were the stained windows. Even the princess seemed to have stayed as constant as the carpet.

“Twilight, Spike,” Princess Celestia said, smiling, as she got up from her throne and started towards them, “It’s been too long.”

Twilight couldn’t think of what she could say, so she stayed silent as they met in the middle of the throne room. Celestia made as if to hug Twilight, but she held up a hoof, “No, please… not yet. I need to talk to you.”

Celestia watched her for a moment, then put her hoof back down. If she was hurt by Twilight rejecting her hug, she was careful to not let it show. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

Twilight’s lips trembled for a moment before she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Would you be able to get Luna and Cadence too? I’d rather not repeat this any more than I need to…”

The faintest hint of worry seemed to hide behind Celestia’s eyes as she nodded, otherwise the perfect picture of calm. “Would you like me to fetch your brother too?”

Twilight shook her head. “He’ll hear later… From me,” she reassured as Celestia raised an eyebrow, “Him… and mother… and father…”

Celestia didn’t reply to that, leaving Twilight alone in the throne room as she left, presumably to fetch Luna and Cadence. Twilight slowly walked down the throne room, followed closely by Spike, looking around at the windows and smiling as she remembered what each of them represented.

She sat back on the floor, only a few paces from the throne, waiting patiently for the princess to return. It took exactly four minutes and nineteen seconds before she returned, dragging a bleary-eyed Luna and a concerned Cadence with her.

Twilight offered a brief smile to each of them as a greeting, took a deep breath, and spoke.

By the end of it, she felt more tired than after a forty-eight hour reading marathon. “So,” she said in a shaky voice, “That’s why I came here today. I’m not looking for a cure,” she said quickly as Cadence opened her mouth, “Ask Celestia… one was never found… I just came here to… to let you know.”

Beside her, Spike looked as if he wanted to complain, to tell her to ask anyway. Thankfully, he didn’t and just sat still, twiddling his claws.

Silence reigned in the throne room for a good half a minute before someone finally managed to piece together their thoughts. As it so happened, it was Cadence. “You’re… dying?” she asked, and Twilight nodded, “And there’s no cure?” she continued faintly, “Since when has that ever stopped you?”

“Cadence…” Celestia said quietly, looking straight at Twilight, “I’m sure Twilight has already tried looking for a cure.”

“And found none whatsoever?” Cadence continued incredulously. She looked at Twilight for confirmation, then slammed a hoof into the ground when she got it. “No! I am not going to sit here and watch someone I love die!”

“Cadence…” Celestia warned.

“No- Auntie… I won’t. There has to be something, somewhere,” Cadence ran on, ignoring Celestia as she sighed, “Have you talked to Zecora? To the court physician? To Fluttershy? To Celestia?”

“She hasn’t,” Celestia said, quelling Cadence as she continued, “And for good reason… There is no cure known to ponykind, dragonkind, griffonkind, or zebrakind. It is one of the only incurable diseases we have.”

“And you didn’t let Celly bring Shining here to tell him?” Cadence continued, giving Twilight a look of astonishment. “He needs to know; he’s your brother for pony’s sake!”

“And she’s going to tell him later,” Luna said calmly, “Why don’t you go and talk to him now… Ask him if he’d like to say hello to his little sister at his parent’s house? Say about… five in the afternoon?”

Twilight nodded, and Luna offered her a slight smile.

“Fine…” Cadence said grudgingly, wiping tears away from her eyes before she turned and left the throne room to Celestia, Luna, and Twilight.

There was another few moments of silence before Celestia sighed, stepping back towards the throne and slumping into it. Twilight could clearly see the sadness now, any semblance of calm Celestia might have had before was long gone.

“Don’t mind Cadence,” Luna said with a faint smile, “This will be the first generation that she’s going to outlive… I don’t think she ever thought she’d have to outlive you though…” She paused for a moment, “You have tried, haven’t you?” she asked.

“I have,” she replied shortly.

“And…”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Celestia said from the throne, “She hasn’t found a cure, Luna… she wouldn’t be telling us that she’s dying if she had.”

“Celestia,” Luna started crossly, “This isn’t helping.”

“No,” Celestia said, her voice echoing across the hall, “And neither is the part about one of my closest friends dying. Neither is the part that I can’t do anything to help her. We can’t help her, Luna… we can’t do anything for her.”

“We can start by not wallowing in it,” Luna said sharply, the two seemingly forgetting that Twilight was still there. “We can help by not hindering her and treating her as if she’s going to die in a few minutes. You can mourn later, Celestia, but not while she’s still alive and breathing.”

“Thanks, Luna,” Twilight said in a small voice before she turned to Celestia. “I think I’ll take that hug now.”

---

Spike was silent now. He hadn’t said a word since the throne room. They’d talked a bit more after that, but it hadn’t been about anything of consequence… they’d just chatted to one another, all of them trying to forget about her impending death.

It was almost four in the afternoon now and she was on her way to her parent’s house. She wanted to talk to her parents a bit before she ruined their day. She could only hope that Spike wouldn’t spill the beans on his own while she was waiting for her brother to arrive. That was if Cadence did as she’d been told and brought Shining over at five.

It wasn’t long until they were standing in front of her parent’s house. It was a tall and lonely affair; more like a small mansion than a family home. She smiled as she pushed open the gate, walking up the familiar path to the front door, Spike still traipsing along behind her.

Somewhere behind them, the gate swung shut with a clatter, just as Twilight lifted her hoof to knock on the door.

There was a clatter of noise from inside, followed by a laugh, then the door opened to reveal her father.

Not missing a beat, he smiled. “Twilight,” he said loudly, “So good of you to visit. Come in, come in. It’s been far too long.”

“Hi, Dad,” She replied, walking past her father into the hall, pausing to give him a quick hug along the way.

“Cadence seemed to think you’d be dropping by a bit later,” he continued, shutting the door behind them, “Looks like we’re finally going to have a proper family reunion.” He chuckled, “Although to hear your mother talking about it, you’d think the whole of Canterlot had come to visit. She’s cooking dinner now.”

“Wait,” Twilight said, “Cadence visited earlier?”

“Mm,” her father replied, “She came by about 3-ish. She was all-but dragging Shining by the ear and said that you’d probably be dropping by a bit later. Funny thing though… she didn’t seem that happy about it. Didn’t stop for a chat or for dinner either.” He paused and glanced at Spike, who was still resolutely silent, “Is Spike okay?”

Twilight bit her lip, “I’ll tell you after dinner,” she said finally before switching the topic entirely, “So where’s Shining?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” he said, “She recruited him almost immediately. I think he’s in the middle of making the crumble.”

“And I can always use more help!” her mother’s familiar voice echoed from the kitchen.

“I guess that’s me recruited too,” Twilight said, and her father laughed.

“Come on then, let’s not keep her waiting.”

Her mother was a hard taskmaster when it came to cooking. She even managed to get Spike to do something other than follow Twilight relentlessly by giving him control of all the pans on the hobs.

It wasn’t long until dinner was finished and they were all sat around the table with food in front of them: rice with a mushroom and vegetable sauce.

“So what’s life like in the Crystal Empire, Shining?” Twilight asked, digging in to her food with gusto.

Her brother shrugged, swallowing a mouthful of food before replying, “It’s really not that different from Canterlot. Cadence is a fantastic governor.”

“Spike, is something wrong with your food?” her mother asked, and Twilight turned her head to look at him, noticing that he was the only one who hadn’t started on his food, preferring to push it around his plate listlessly.

“No, Mrs Sparkle,” he mumbled, followed by something about not having an appetite.

Twilight’s mother frowned and Twilight sighed. “Now, now, dear if something’s bothering you, please tell me, I’ll get your father to dig out some gems.”

He didn’t reply to her, instead shooting Twilight a quick glance before he focussed on pushing his food around his plate again.

“Twilight…” her mother said anxiously, “Is something wrong?”

“I said I’d wait until after dinner to talk about it,” she said, knowing that it was futile now her mother had the scent.

Sure enough, “No. If something’s wrong, I want to know now. You’re not going to keep putting it off with me.”

Twilight sighed. She glanced around the table, noting that she was the centre of attention again. “I really think that you might want to wait until everyone’s finished eating,” she tried again.

“We’ve all got strong stomachs here, Twily,” her brother said, “now come on, spill the beans, what’s wrong?”

She sighed again, “If you’re sure,” she muttered under her breath before she raised her voice. “I’m dying.”

The table froze: implements halfway to mouths which had dropped open, and eyes that had frozen to Twilight with looks of disbelief. Spike just kept pushing his food around his plate.

Her brother was the first one to recover, nervously laughing as he put down his fork, “Ha… very funny, Twilight,” he said, as if re-assuring himself, “Good one.”

Twilight just offered him a grim smile. “It’s called advanced magical hyperactivity flux disorder. Completely incurable,” she said grimly, “I told Spike earlier… that’s probably why he’s so listless.”

“W- Well… when did you find out about it?” her mother asked, her eyes wide.

“I got the second evaluation back yesterday,” Twilight said, “I didn’t tell you before then so I wouldn’t worry you.”

Her father put his cutlery down. “How long?” he asked heavily. If he’d been jovial before, he wasn’t now.

“A day,” she replied, shrugging, “Maybe more.” Her mother pushed her plate away next, and Twilight smiled to herself, “I said you might want to wait until after dinner.”

Shining just looked at her, poleaxed, “How can you sit there and make jokes about it?” he asked.

“What else can I do about it?” she retorted, “Sobbing about it isn’t going to change anything.”

“Well, no, but-“

“Shining,” Twilight’s mother interrupted, “Why don’t you clear away the plates. I think we’ve all finished with them.”

He opened and closed his mouth a few more times, then stood up sharply, lifting all the plates simultaneously in his magic before he left the room, the plates following him in a line.

“Thanks,” Twilight said.

“No problem,” her mother replied, “He’s probably just angry at himself...”

“I know,” Twilight sighed, “He still thought he’d be able to protect me.”

Her father offered a brief smile, “He’ll come round sooner or later.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” her mother asked.

Twilight shook her head, “Sorry. Would I be able to stay here tonight though?”

“Of course,” her father said, “Your room is exactly how you left it.”

“Thanks,” she offered.

After that, there wasn’t very much to be said. There were some polite questions and a few threads of conversation which went no-where. There was even a joke, followed by a very forced laugh.

After a while though, Twilight said goodnight to her parents and left for her room. Back when she’d lived here, she’d moved from her first room into the attic where she’d have room for her books and desk.

She hummed to herself as she found the light and turned it on, illuminating her old room. It really was cavernous, bookcases lining a whole wall and a giant chalkboard which took up another.

She sighed and sat down in front of a desk. Spike would be sleeping in her first room tonight; she’d insisted on it. Even if this was where the loop ended, she wanted to sleep, and she wouldn’t be doing that if she had to comfort him throughout the night. For all his boasting about how old he was now, he was still young.

There was a knock against the stairs and a familiar voice called up into the attic, “Hey… Twily… Can we talk?”

“Sure,” she called back, “Come on up.”

Her brother appeared out of the trapdoor and looked around, “It’s been ages since I was in here,” he murmured to himself.

“Eons,” she agreed, smiling and gesturing for him to sit himself on the bed.

He sat down, making the bed creak slightly. He looked haunted now and was wringing his hooves restlessly. “I… I knew something was wrong when Cadence ferretted me out from the guard post,” he started, “And obviously it was something to do with you… She said that you’d be calling at mum and dad’s today and that I had to be there too.”

“It’s just… I never thought… Dying?” he implored, looking at her.

Twilight sighed again. “I never thought it would happen either if that helps,” she quipped, “Especially considering that I thought my magic would heal anything that happened to me.”

“Magic,” Shining snorted, “What’s it done for us. It hypnotised me, almost killed Cadence, and it is killing you.”

“Still wouldn’t trade it for anything,” Twilight replied, smiling.

Shining didn’t return her smile, avoiding her gaze entirely. He stood up from the bed and walked over to her, embracing her in a sudden hug. “Listen… Let’s just say that we’ll see each other later?” he proposed and Twilight nodded, faintly aware of a tear caught in her eye.

“See you later, alligator,” she said, feeling her voice hitch slightly.

“After a while, crocodile,” Shining replied.

They broke apart from the hug, Shining opened his mouth as if to say something else, closed it again, then fled.

Twilight briefly considered calling after him, then shook her head and turned back to her desk. She looked at the books littering it and the photos and notes that had been haphazardly stuck to the wall behind it. All of them were on magic… all of them were about the things she’d learnt under Celestia’s tutelage and on her own.

She drew one of the books towards her and looked at the cover. Twilight’s Diary.

Shining was right… her magic was the thing killing her… but would she ever give it up? Even if it would save her life?

She opened her old diary, and started to read.

Author's Note:

Soon has been re-translated into a number of more weeks.

Exam period sort of took the wind out of my sails. Sort of a... "You're free now... go... enjoy life!" kind of thing.

Anyway, this was finally finished. Enjoy one of those chapters which I famously said I'd not be writing again... that is to say... a sad-ish chapter.

...

*Runs again*

Comments

[Foxler]

I like this.

This is sad.

But it is also funny.

There is no sad or dark tag, this is good :)

[Incredible Blunderbolt]

Hm... And just two days after I thought to myself "I guess Cyn's given up on this, huh?"

[Cynical]

4834399
Thanks

Here's hoping that it only gets better.

4834994
Me? Giving up on this? Pssh... I haven't given up on fixing my first three fics I posted on this site... I just have them on a to-do list somewhere...

It's quite a long list now....

[Foxler]

4835579
With the lack of sad tag, there better be a happy resolution.

OR ELSE!

Or else I'll get sad I guess...

I'm sorry, I'm not good at writing threatening comments.

[Cynical]

4835796

The only certainty I will offer is that there will be an end.

And I'll be in a bunker by that time.

No-one's reaching me with guilt-trips or threats or anything

<.< >.>

[Loeden]

I'm with Foxler on this one.. No sad tag, no dark tag, I hopefully cling on!

[AntyAnt]

Pretty much that, the tags give me hope

[Arzoo]

Really bummed this stopped. A loop story with Twidash, plus an element of mystery about the cause.

[Quantum Logic]

I just found this and have quite enjoyed the story...It's disappointing that there has been no conclusion though from previous chapters I kind of think I have an idea of where you were going with this. Could be wrong though but I guess I'll probably never know.