A strange stallion named quick hooves that he think has no friends....he cant blame anypony....he is a thief and assassin after all but what will he do to change and what will his enemies become to him.And how will his hatred get in the way of everypony and everything he loves. first story...yay?enjoy.
Page generated in 0.168 seconds
Total duration
920 users online
457,946 hits today, 2,728,293 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
dis gon be some'in
First: Description should be about the story and nothing more. If you want to add credits, do so in authors notes. 2nd of all, there are such things as chapters too short, but when you're just starting out, there's usually not a chapter that's "too long". 3rd, get a professional editor, I see a lot of grammar mistakes.
You wanted feedback, so there ya go. Gave it to you within the time restraint I have.
Word of advice telling them to don't hate will make them bring the hate to your story.
Quick Hooves' Strange Life. That's what you want in the title.
You might want to have words with your friend Nick.
I concur with much of what Dunsparce said, with the exception of the credits thing. A lot of people put credits to editors and prereaders, credit for collabs, links to sequels/prequels, explanation of inspiration ("I got the inspiration from this picture"), etc., and it's all fine as long as it's done well, which it was not in your story description.
No offense to Bronysquidiness, but he's either not blunt enough to give honest grammar checking or he just doesn't have enough of a grasp on it to be helping anyone out. If you can't improve by yourself or can't find anyone with decent enough grammar skills who's willing to help out, I'd suggest checking out a group like Looking for Editors.
As Manes pointed out, you're gonna get hate for this. People are jerks, and people who aren't jerks are going to exercise the downvote function or just avoid it all together. The good news about that, though, is that later when you've got a thousand plus followers, you can look back on this fic and see how far you've come.
The story itself isn't terrible, regardless of it's delivery and presentation. It's short, most glaringly, but it also has a complete lack of action and a general cheesiness about it, if you get what I'm saying.
And finally, 3516949, it'd actually be "Quick Hooves's Strange Life" since "Quick Hooves" is singular like "James's" or "Charles's". Or at least, that's the way I've always been taught, both can be acceptable, I suppose.
3517013
Incorrect, because it's a hard S sound at the end. Hard S sounds are just an apostrophe, no extra S needed.
3517050
Hm. Learn something new everyday, I guess.
Don't worry benny there's gonna be action in the next or 4th chapter.
Dude, this is looking pretty good. Keep it up
Wow, I'm doing this bad? I guess my editing isn't half as good as my writing. Sorry, and I'll try harder....
try to go here http://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/039/shrugging-pinkie-pie.png
piclair.com/data/yeqn2.jpg
Also,
piclair.com/data/6wosg.jpg
3561932>>3561940
While absolutely hilarious, this is also completely uncalled for. This is a writing and writing appreciation community of fans, not 4chan. Save the trolling for lazy writers who've already proven they can do better, but just aren't. New writers and people who have a lesser grasp on the main points of the English written word don't deserve this.
3562067
After a while, one gets a little tired of fucking with vegetables.
3562067 There's 'people who have a lesser grasp on the main points of the English written word' and then there's 'I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a more grammatically correct sentence than anything in here'.
If someone's being *gasp* TOO MEAN! on the internet, then someone else might need a thicker skin.
3562094
Argument goes both ways, it's only the way you put it when you're the one who's defending being unnecessarily harsh to people. Why is it that everyone else has to comport themselves in a manner that fits with being treated poorly by you, when you don't need to go to the extra lengths to insult and/or attack them? What makes you so special and above-ken that everyone else needs a 'thicker skin' when you push yourself upon them?
Regardless of what answer you give, the actual answer is they don't. You don't need to be like that to people who don't deserve it - the fault rests with you, not anyone else. Please try to have a little human decency (I'm quite aware how rare that is, yes - no need to point it out). Now... if the writer was a total asshat and is lashing out at people? Go for it - absolutely destroy their face, as far as I'm concerned. But that's not the case here. Is this story badly-written? Yes... yes it is. I'm sure someone will come by who feels like helping this person clean up their writing and get set on the appropriate path. Can we at least agree it's just not a necessary expenditure on your part? Even you have a point past which your thick skin won't protect you, after all.
3562088
You certainly don't need to tell me that. I'm not that different myself, just that I long-ago realized that nothing gets solved by trolling them when they haven't earned it. In such cases, I simply keep my mouth shut and move on to another story. Sometimes a few pointers if I'm feeling helpful, but otherwise it becomes a non-issue due to not showing up and thinking the world would be better if I laid down an ass-beating on a newbie who just doesn't get it yet.
3562233 images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/0/02/Internet_white_knight.gif
3562424
Okay, that made me laugh.
3562486
3517050 3517178
"Hard s plus apostrophe only" is an old rule. Nowadays, either 's or the apostrophe alone is considered correct so long as it is applied consistently. I'd like to point out that Strunk & White, the APA, and the CMoS all prefer 's regardless of how one pronounces the possessive. There are also some messy sets of rules that deal with unstressed syllables and unpronounced sibilants, which is why I greatly prefer the consistent and easy-to-use policy of sticking with 's no matter the case (excepting its, of course).
3562424
What of the menfolk saved and/or given sex as reward?
Not sure if the author died, but if you want help with this terrible story let me know.
You call this edited?
This is not edited.