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Malicid is an excited young stallion who has learned that his parents are moving to Ponyville and he will be able to attend a new school that is different from the last. However when he arrives, he noticed the fact that not all ponies act like he does and certainly don't have the same customs. He wonders if a Changeling can make a friend?
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A le changeling, eh?
3589896
Yeah thought I would give it a try.
3589921
Very Good so far and I am quite enjoying it! I can't wait for more chapters! Very creative and different story then other changeling stories.
Time for a le critique!
There are some flaws in your grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
There are some run-on sentences, commas and apostrophes that are misplaced or not even needed, misplaced modifiers, over-used descriptions, etc.
I also feel like the story moves along a bit to fast and misses some crucial information that would build up the story and plot.
There also needs to be more dialogue and dialect. Yes, there is a difference between the two. Dialogue is conversations between characters; Dialect is the way a person, or in this case, ponies, speaks and how their culture and lifestyle effects it.
Your descriptions and descriptive writing shows a lot at points in the story and is very excellent, yet also at points it is weak and somewhat absent...
Fix up the story a bit, and you'll have a shadowtastic story!
3590255
Okay thanks, I will work on it. I actually need to search up more ways people say things so I know more and can better describe them.
3590277 You're very welcome. I'm glad you're taking initiative towards fixing and tweaking your story; same with the researching on the dialect. That shows that you're a blossoming author and putting an honest effort into change and your writing. That makes me happy ;D
I like the fact that the main character is a changeling, keep up the good work!
3591029
Thanks, I am actually happy to be trying a new thing.
LooKs like you forgot a word there, friend.
other than that good job, dude
3608795 Oh, thank you :D
moarmoarmoarmoarmoarmoarmoarmoarmoarmoar
3645961
Don't worry, I am waiting for the weekend to get a bunch of writing done. Since it is Christmas Break, I might get more then one in, but thanks for the support :D
FINALLY a new chapter after 4 weeks of waiting (yes I counted the days)
3659209
Glad your happy.