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A thousand years ago, the sisters, Celestia and Luna, lost their little brother. He has finally returned after so long. Follow him as he tries to get his life back together and rejoin his family and learns of all that has changed.
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Editing by Ledd Mettle
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Wooo! Great first chapter. I saw only one spelling mistake....the shout causes the guard and the "made" to fall to the ground and cover their ears.... other than that I saw no other mistakes.
I await patiently for the next chapter.
Great premise, and hardly any grammar errors. The only problem, is the writing feels...stale, for some reason. Other than that, great job.
I couldn't finish reading this. It's very tell-heavy, the tense jumps wildly between past and present, and that guard's actions make no sense at all. Threatening a traumatized alicorn foal who poses no obvious threat... just no. Then there's grammatical flaws like run-on sentences and misspellings.
If you don't care what others think, then disregard what I have to say. If you do care and genuinely want to tell a good story, find an editor to help you sort those problems out.
This is a wonderful start to what looks like a good story. It's best to stay in one tense though, preferably past tense.
... You missed the AU tag.
Also, you might wish to kill off this concept.
Reason being is that not only because every attempt I have seen similar to this fail badly, but also due to most of the site being... Less than receptive to fics that dare to give siblings to major characters. Trust me when I say you are probably better off posting this story elsewhere.
Otherwise, the story itself is okay.
Not great, not good, but okay.
Good story looking forward to the next chapter
AWESOME
3451808 THANK YOU!
Great chapter.
You sir, have earned my like. Keep up the good work.
Wonderful chapter.
Do you want to introduce Apex? Think of him as a mentor figure maybe?
3457245 Sorry, not doing OC requests for this one.
Will he get to meet the Element Bearers soon? And is Twilight a unicorn or an alicorn by the time this happened? Other than that great chapter.
3461917 guess I should have made this clear, this story is taking place after the season three finale of the show.
3462168 Ah okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
Wonderful chapter!
I just feel so happy inside. Nice to read a story thats just so innocent
Good story can't wait for the next chapter
Aren't paparazzi just a bitch to deal with
Blueblood's probably annoyed that this new prince all but assures he'll never actually sit on the throne. Hopefully he doesn't attempt a coup over it...
NEXT!
3486393 Next? As in you want the next chapter or your not pleased with the story and are moving on to something else?
I really loved how Dawn Light stood up for the Crusaders like that.
Another excellent chapter.
I think his talent should be like being able to travel through the void and make ghosts of dead ponies able to talk to alive ones like a psycic
I'd say let the story go on a bit before giving him a Cutie Mark I've yet to see anything truly define him.
3490924 I was thinking the same thing. Waiting until much later in the story for him to get a cutie mark.
3490938
As the story advances perhaps how his character develops will give us the inspiration we need to give you an idea. For now he's just any other kid, who happens to be a prince who is out of his timeline.
Nothing truly defining just yet, the beginnings of defining yes, but not total.
3490956 thank you for your feedback. It helps.
3487721 Next chapter silly
okay it should be a sunrise
he should send the stars away and make room for Celestia's sun. maybe Twilight does the same in reverse for Luna
Call?
3513193
OOps, um, yeah.
I half agree with the young Prince having the Bodyguards out in the open is most troublesome and would probably hinder his recalibrating to a world he's been gone from for approximately 1000 years.
On the other hand, or hoof as it would be for ponies there is still a need for security nobility and royalty are not only threatened by foreign armies, but by domestic threats in the form of either more corrupt and or power hungry members of the nobility or any dissatisfied portion of the population, so I would advise for some undercover guard, undercover meaning undercover, you wouldn't expect them to be a guard until its too late.
I knew it! I knew he was going to be named tooky!
Love these upbeat story's. You know the kind where it doesnt have to be caotic or romantic all the time.
.
It helps define characters and helps people identify with them so much more then other stories. Keep up the good work
3516455 you bet, thank you.
Hmmm, don't mingle with Commoners, I don't think Luna would order that kind of action, even when being overprotective, particularly considering how it was Pipsqueak that called her the Best Princess Ever.
I wonder, is Blueblood competent enough to forge orders...
3518053 Mmm eh, could be.
3518067
The other option is Changelings, overly paranoid guards or some unnamed lesser noble, but if I cried Changeling at every odd character step I'd grow hoarse from the word, and unnamed characters being a threat, at least until they are named, can't really be truly suspected... as you haven't met them yet.
hmmm This is a great story.
Not sure why it hasn't gotten more attention. Maybe because the first chapter was a bit rocky.
Anyway, I will be waiting for the next chapter with glee.
welp whoever is gonna be guarding Dawn is gonna have the work cut out for them with all the hair-brained schemes the crusaders come up with. I wouldn't be surprised if their cover was blown almost immediately. Maybe they should get a child soldier type to go to class with him. Of course the kid would have his reasons for being a soldier. maybe from a different race with a crazy background. Anyway that's just speculation.
Hmmm I think I'm already smelling the tree sap...
Wouldn't his room be in the Everfree Forest right now?
Also, how does the kid know they sealed Discord in stone? I don't think they knew EXACTLY what to expect.
3679249 About his room being in the everfree forest, I kinda messed up on that, but it does have the alternate universe tag so one can assume that they never had a castle in the ever free forest. On the matter of him knowing about Discord being sealed in stone, he was told that his sisters were going to find the elements of harmony and use them to seal Discord, so one can assume that he figured his sisters would be successful.
3680278
I meant that The Elements Of Harmony aren't that predictable. At least I don't think they are.
3680278 But I most certainly like this fic.
Man i said it once and i'll say it again. I love a simple day to day story. Relaxes me
Keep up the good work mate 
so much
3689706 You bet, and thank you.
