4213476 Oh, no rush I just noticed this was the second time you had mentioned working on another chapter of that fic and I was curious if the Luna chapter had been cancelled or if I had missed it somehow.
All these plot-hooks that are presented can be... solved rather quickly. Blueblood would find himself in big trouble using politics just to scorn somepony who's favored by the Princess, Barb is being handled with her issues, Celestia would come by for a visit and acknowledge the thing and Shimmer is only coming for 1 visit. The only thing that stands out is the tree in her office and that was just thrown in for comedy, I reckon.
Basically, what I'm seeing in this fic is the problem of multitasking with being a duchess of a province. The ones in charge are those who are with the most responsibilities. I think that's how it goes. SO, this is not a bad thing, but it could be a bad thing in how it's presented. Twilight comes across as the person who is learning how to multitask with her new position and everything's coming down at once and what I'm seeing is her trying to cope with it all.
This latest chapter was amazing! I'm kinda hoping that's the end of Barb trying to get with Twilight though. Maybe Scoots and Bard instead? Also, I'm wondering if AJ will be able to save Sweet Apple Acres with her money?
Intersting choice in bringing in Applejack. Would not have expected it but somehow it suits her. I wonder if the Flim Flam brothers will make a play against Twilight since con artist are generally not satisfied in just one win. Well, keep up the good work.
Wait... the mane six is basically within the same manor, or at least town now... THAT MEANS... ORGY!!! Oh but damn, lack of a male partner for FutaTwi.
4213575 The tree was originally going to be there for no reason, but it turned into another plot point, dood. This one I kinda want to look at as well as a thing Wrabbit threw at me and I liked it's jib, dood.
But I'm glad you liked it and I'll try to do what I can to keep you liking it, dood.
4213807 I'm going to push Sunset another chapter away, I'm going to focus on Sweet Breeze/Fluttershy and the Tree problems next chapter... if I figure out how I'm doing it, dood.
4213867 There will still be Twilight and Barb clop, but it will be weakening as time goes by... at it's worst... two more clop scenes with those two. And I may push the ScootaBarb agenda more as well.
4214066 That's what I was going for and went rolling with for a chapter and a half cause I thoguht it would be funny, dood.
4214168 I'm too dumb to do that kind of thing, dood.
4214722 Oh Sweet Breeze, I'm glad no one likes this OC I made out of thin air, dood.
4214712 I tend to see it more as I'm writing it... like the deal Twilight and Barb made in chapter 5. I forgot about it and when someone mentioned it I was like 'shit' then used it as my clop scene since it would make very little sense for anyone not Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash to randomly have sex with Twilight... and I didn't think of Fluttershy at the time, dood.
4215070 She still got the cock, just not it's juice, dood.
4215077 Thanks! FlimFlam bros. won't appear for a while so... eh? wait and see, dood.
4215481 And Rainbow Dash... and Sweet Breeze, dood.
4215677 I see nothing wrong with the set up, dood. No male partner is needed as I have no love for M/Futa, I am fine with Futa/M in the case of Futa doing M up the butt, dood.
There will still be Twilight and Barb clop, but it will be weakening as time goes by... at it's worst... two more clop scenes with those two. And I may push the ScootaBarb agenda more as well.
Aw, I thought the Barb/Twilight thing was highly enjoyable... Well, there's all the others so it's not a total loss
4216181 you are not! you just don't have experience is all, and that's why you put the stories up while they are still being edited. you com up with what you wanna do, and we help implement it. Wrabbit is pretty good at it, maybe ask him?
4217290 and i'm always willing to help. i may not write and post stories, but i'm always willing to lend a hoof. or, if you wanna get professional help, talk to the guy who wrote Lines and Webs. that dude's a freakin' genius!
I like this fic like you have no idea. It makes me laught and the clop is meh (for me) I enjoy it too, but for me is not that important. keep the good job!
Great story really loveing the setting and everything ^.^ storylines plots and the way you portray all the charecters is perfect!! Only critic I have here is the entire barb and twilight sex scene. It was hot I will say but it felt a little forced. Like it didn't quite fit into the story right then or match up with the clop you've done previously. Great entrance for AJ though but was expecting her to say something about twilights "equipment" or why a young dragon was trying to rape her or something. Just small issues though still love the story ^.^ can't wait for more!!!
4225549 To be honest, the sex scene between Barb and Twilight for chapter ten was SUPER forced because I promised clop for it and couldn't think of one at the time, dood. Though, I should have done more to AJ and her reaction to that thing instead of calmly dragging Barb out of the room after witnessing her rape Twilight, dood.
The part where it said that unicorns own most of Equestria now particularly intrigues me, thanks to another little statement a long while back that said that, in the past, ponies were quadrupeds like they are in the show right now.
The simplest way I can sum up my thoughts is this: the potential of hands and the heavy lean of magic-users focusing on knowledge rather than physical prowess.
Back when ponies were quadrupedal, unicorns had a lot more diversity to what they could do with their magic. Considering the number of things that require more precision than hooves could manage, especially things we've SEEN, it's not all that surprising that even back then, unicorns may have dominated the job market in terms of higher-end jobs, such as being surgeons. Heck, I can't even see how an earth pony could ever BE a surgeon without some serious cleanliness issues.
Now, let's follow the timeline here: unicorns dominate the job market. Inject themselves into the nobility and positions of power, since it's just the natural progression of things with their potential for precision and diversity thanks to their magic. Now, somewhere along the line, ponies began evolving, quite rapidly apparently, into bipedal humanoid creatures, akin to the minotaurs of the past. For all we know they might even be some kind of weird hybrid (thoooough I seriously wonder whether or not we'll get an explanation in regards to Celestia going from being quadrupedal to bipedal, unless she's actually still quadrupedal)!
Now, every race has the potential for precision and diversity that unicorns have always had thanks to their telekinetic abilities with their horns, thanks to everyone having hands and fingers. Tools exist that pegasi and earth ponies can use that can do just as much as any unicorn can do with their magic. However, carrying over from so many hundreds, even thousands of years in the past, unicorns were already in positions of power and control. Therefore, it's not surprising at ALL that unicorns own most of Equestria. In terms of status in society, unicorns still have the home field advantage because, judging by the behavior of everyone except a more well-read and level-headed unicorn like Twilight Sparkle, the other two races don't concern themselves with some form of higher learning. Mind you that last part's just a possible theory, for all I know Applejack could have a PhD in agriculture or plant biology and being an act-before-thinking idiot is just her hobby.
4241162 While I didn't think of that in this manner, I did think of it only because Canterlot was like the home of Unicorns and Celestia lived there, and since magic is still better than hands and fingers, they still have that edge over the other races, dood.
Especially since the evolving process actually WEAKENED their original powers back when they were quadrupeds, dood:
- Earth Ponies weren't that greatly hampered yet they still lost some strength and their power to cultivate almost any land, dood.
- Unicorns lost a lot of their magic, and while I still try to portray Twilight as the most magical unicorn in the story, I do also state that Twilight's magic in House Sparkle is on par with Lyra, Minette, or any regular Unicorn from the show's canon, thus far beneath that of the show's Twilight, dood.
- Pegasi have been hit the hardest, dood. They lost their power to fly because their wings didn't evolve with the rest of them, and weakened thier ability to control weather, but since they are grounded, that doesn't matter anyways... they can still glide, I guess, dood.
4241229 Oh, I kept that in mind too, but my point is, while magic does give unicorns a significant advantage still, now there's nothing to really hamper earth ponies and pegasi in terms of pursuing higher educations in order to become doctors, surgeons, engineers, et-cetera. There's no longer this superiority in terms of working potential for unicorns. Still, with unicorns having already had a disposition for, well, basically being in positions of power due to their natural pursuit of knowledge and mental superiority in the past, social norms will likely cause them to remain the 'superior race', so to speak.
Still, can't wait to see if we'll get some kind of explanation for Celestia! Heck, I'd be content with 'She's a Goddess, she does whatever the fuck she wants', I mean even with how simple it is it makes perfect sense.
4225741 while it is very nice of you to keep your promise of clop to us readers and fans you really shouldn't force it, keep to the story how you feel is best and give the clop when you've got a good story for it, in my opinion the actual story of house sparkle is more important, cause like I said the clop felt forced and not as on par as the rest of it, and a few things were missed out on what with AJ's reaction, of course you do now have the option to add in a bit of side stuff like conversations between the house sparkle employees, like haveing them on lunch breaks or late night around the kitchen AJ asking about barb and twi and getting everyone's opinions of everyone else, just an idea of course ^.^, but again still loveing the story and can't wait for more :D!!!!
So, now Twilight has to be afraid of her own sister. That's bad. Twilight really needs to find a way for Barb to be attracted to someone else. It's obvious that Barb is unable to do so left to her own devices. At least, Sweet Breeze knows she's not going to be able to get close to Twilight by paying surprise visits. However, I feel bad for Fluttershy the first time she meets Applejack. The poor thing might wet herself. I'm still waiting for the paternity test results to come back. So, Sunset will be showing up soon, her and Vinyl should get along fine. Except for the fact that Sunset doesn't know about Twilight's extra asset. I wonder how Sunset will respond to that. I also wonder when Twilight and Company are going to get a visit from Pinkie's older sister?
why because why not why wouldn't they want to add the darkness im going to guess blueblood is going to turn sevral colors of rage when he finds out about twilight
when i read this from the blog post at the end there all i could think was "so she did know"
AJ at times has a foul temperment
looking forward to more
Heh, Lyota Shara is me by the way. Hm... whatever happened to the Luna chapter for misadventures?
4213468 I got a Proof-reader but he said he couldn't get to it until today so maybe this weekend, dood? Don't quote me on that though.
4213476
Oh, no rush I just noticed this was the second time you had mentioned working on another chapter of that fic and I was curious if the Luna chapter had been cancelled or if I had missed it somehow.
All these plot-hooks that are presented can be... solved rather quickly. Blueblood would find himself in big trouble using politics just to scorn somepony who's favored by the Princess, Barb is being handled with her issues, Celestia would come by for a visit and acknowledge the thing and Shimmer is only coming for 1 visit. The only thing that stands out is the tree in her office and that was just thrown in for comedy, I reckon.
Basically, what I'm seeing in this fic is the problem of multitasking with being a duchess of a province. The ones in charge are those who are with the most responsibilities. I think that's how it goes. SO, this is not a bad thing, but it could be a bad thing in how it's presented. Twilight comes across as the person who is learning how to multitask with her new position and everything's coming down at once and what I'm seeing is her trying to cope with it all.
I like it so far. Clop's just a neat bonus.
you win (drum roll)..... out of 5
craig kelly = me
..I'd say go for the Tree or Sunset first. Bloomberg didn't deserve that!
However, the tree can be part of several other incidents..
This latest chapter was amazing! I'm kinda hoping that's the end of Barb trying to get with Twilight though. Maybe Scoots and Bard instead? Also, I'm wondering if AJ will be able to save Sweet Apple Acres with her money?
Well then! That was fun to read, dood. Seems like Barb is trying to re-enact the Greedy Spike episode.
Awsome so far, dood.
actually, most good stories have multiple things going on that are all tied together.
I'm DrewB1442, and you're welcome for the assist. Thank you for listening to my corrections.
A problem with too many plot lines? I'm not seeing it. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work.
And that last line just proves yer fulla shit Sweet Breeze.
Not much clopier than others, but I like the chapter)
Intersting choice in bringing in Applejack. Would not have expected it but somehow it suits her. I wonder if the Flim Flam brothers will make a play against Twilight since con artist are generally not satisfied in just one win.
Well, keep up the good work.
Ya fuck you sweet breeze you bitch! GO AJ
Finally someone who will keep barb in line
Finally someone who will keep barb in line
Wait... the mane six is basically within the same manor, or at least town now... THAT MEANS...
ORGY!!!
Oh but damn, lack of a male partner for FutaTwi.
4213575 The tree was originally going to be there for no reason, but it turned into another plot point, dood. This one I kinda want to look at as well as a thing Wrabbit threw at me and I liked it's jib, dood.
But I'm glad you liked it and I'll try to do what I can to keep you liking it, dood.
4213669 Yay, dood
4213693 Got it, dood. Let me make a note of it.
4213807 I'm going to push Sunset another chapter away, I'm going to focus on Sweet Breeze/Fluttershy and the Tree problems next chapter... if I figure out how I'm doing it, dood.
4213867 There will still be Twilight and Barb clop, but it will be weakening as time goes by... at it's worst... two more clop scenes with those two. And I may push the ScootaBarb agenda more as well.
4214066 That's what I was going for and went rolling with for a chapter and a half cause I thoguht it would be funny, dood.
4214168 I'm too dumb to do that kind of thing, dood.
4214722 Oh Sweet Breeze, I'm glad no one likes this OC I made out of thin air, dood.
4214712 I tend to see it more as I'm writing it... like the deal Twilight and Barb made in chapter 5. I forgot about it and when someone mentioned it I was like 'shit' then used it as my clop scene since it would make very little sense for anyone not Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash to randomly have sex with Twilight... and I didn't think of Fluttershy at the time, dood.
4215070 She still got the cock, just not it's juice, dood.
4215077 Thanks! FlimFlam bros. won't appear for a while so... eh? wait and see, dood.
4215481 And Rainbow Dash... and Sweet Breeze, dood.
4215677 I see nothing wrong with the set up, dood. No male partner is needed as I have no love for M/Futa, I am fine with Futa/M in the case of Futa doing M up the butt, dood.
Aw, I thought the Barb/Twilight thing was highly enjoyable... Well, there's all the others so it's not a total loss
Good clop, as always.
:hey i just met you and this sounds crazy, but you knocked me out. so work for me maybe.
4216181 you are not! you just don't have experience is all, and that's why you put the stories up while they are still being edited. you com up with what you wanna do, and we help implement it. Wrabbit is pretty good at it, maybe ask him?
4216181 Course we hate her. She's so flat she makes Domino's Thin Crust pizza look like their handmade pan!
But it also looks like you aren't planning anything more with her, so the flatness is forgivable and a welcomed punching bag!
4216181 Yes, let the agenda thrive between Scootaloo and Barb. Really mean it though, you are making Prinnies more awesome, keep up the good writing.
4216847 Well... Barb has to embrace her greed and become a sexy dragoness and rape Twilight at sometime, right dood?
4216898 Uh... I'll have to check my schedule, dood.
4216908 Thanks, dood. And Wrabbit has been throwing ideas at me since chapter... one I think? Yeah, dood.
4217080 She's really just a 'fuck and forget' kind of pony, dood. Just like most OCs.
4217097 That part still needs some thought put into it since ScootaBarb was a last minute thing, dood.
4217290 and i'm always willing to help. i may not write and post stories, but i'm always willing to lend a hoof. or, if you wanna get professional help, talk to the guy who wrote Lines and Webs. that dude's a freakin' genius!
Compiling some ideas for yah concering the plot lines. I'll PM them to yah when I got them finished (and maybe fleshed out a bit).
4217080
Aw, come on. Sweet Breeze has potential.
4217765 For being Sparkle's Anal Toy? Cause she can be a real pain in the ass!
In all seriousness, we'll see how De' Fool deals with his creation.
I like this fic like you have no idea. It makes me laught and the clop is meh (for me) I enjoy it too, but for me is not that important. keep the good job!
Great story really loveing the setting and everything ^.^ storylines plots and the way you portray all the charecters is perfect!! Only critic I have here is the entire barb and twilight sex scene. It was hot I will say but it felt a little forced. Like it didn't quite fit into the story right then or match up with the clop you've done previously. Great entrance for AJ though but was expecting her to say something about twilights "equipment" or why a young dragon was trying to rape her or something. Just small issues though still love the story ^.^ can't wait for more!!!
4225549 To be honest, the sex scene between Barb and Twilight for chapter ten was SUPER forced because I promised clop for it and couldn't think of one at the time, dood. Though, I should have done more to AJ and her reaction to that thing instead of calmly dragging Barb out of the room after witnessing her rape Twilight, dood.
Is this... I think it is.
Delicious futa.
4232315 Only fetish worth looking into, dood.
4217290 sorry about that. that song was all i could think about this chapter.
The part where it said that unicorns own most of Equestria now particularly intrigues me, thanks to another little statement a long while back that said that, in the past, ponies were quadrupeds like they are in the show right now.
The simplest way I can sum up my thoughts is this: the potential of hands and the heavy lean of magic-users focusing on knowledge rather than physical prowess.
Back when ponies were quadrupedal, unicorns had a lot more diversity to what they could do with their magic. Considering the number of things that require more precision than hooves could manage, especially things we've SEEN, it's not all that surprising that even back then, unicorns may have dominated the job market in terms of higher-end jobs, such as being surgeons. Heck, I can't even see how an earth pony could ever BE a surgeon without some serious cleanliness issues.
Now, let's follow the timeline here: unicorns dominate the job market. Inject themselves into the nobility and positions of power, since it's just the natural progression of things with their potential for precision and diversity thanks to their magic. Now, somewhere along the line, ponies began evolving, quite rapidly apparently, into bipedal humanoid creatures, akin to the minotaurs of the past. For all we know they might even be some kind of weird hybrid (thoooough I seriously wonder whether or not we'll get an explanation in regards to Celestia going from being quadrupedal to bipedal, unless she's actually still quadrupedal)!
Now, every race has the potential for precision and diversity that unicorns have always had thanks to their telekinetic abilities with their horns, thanks to everyone having hands and fingers. Tools exist that pegasi and earth ponies can use that can do just as much as any unicorn can do with their magic. However, carrying over from so many hundreds, even thousands of years in the past, unicorns were already in positions of power and control. Therefore, it's not surprising at ALL that unicorns own most of Equestria. In terms of status in society, unicorns still have the home field advantage because, judging by the behavior of everyone except a more well-read and level-headed unicorn like Twilight Sparkle, the other two races don't concern themselves with some form of higher learning. Mind you that last part's just a possible theory, for all I know Applejack could have a PhD in agriculture or plant biology and being an act-before-thinking idiot is just her hobby.
4241162 While I didn't think of that in this manner, I did think of it only because Canterlot was like the home of Unicorns and Celestia lived there, and since magic is still better than hands and fingers, they still have that edge over the other races, dood.
Especially since the evolving process actually WEAKENED their original powers back when they were quadrupeds, dood:
- Earth Ponies weren't that greatly hampered yet they still lost some strength and their power to cultivate almost any land, dood.
- Unicorns lost a lot of their magic, and while I still try to portray Twilight as the most magical unicorn in the story, I do also state that Twilight's magic in House Sparkle is on par with Lyra, Minette, or any regular Unicorn from the show's canon, thus far beneath that of the show's Twilight, dood.
- Pegasi have been hit the hardest, dood. They lost their power to fly because their wings didn't evolve with the rest of them, and weakened thier ability to control weather, but since they are grounded, that doesn't matter anyways... they can still glide, I guess, dood.
4241229
Oh, I kept that in mind too, but my point is, while magic does give unicorns a significant advantage still, now there's nothing to really hamper earth ponies and pegasi in terms of pursuing higher educations in order to become doctors, surgeons, engineers, et-cetera. There's no longer this superiority in terms of working potential for unicorns. Still, with unicorns having already had a disposition for, well, basically being in positions of power due to their natural pursuit of knowledge and mental superiority in the past, social norms will likely cause them to remain the 'superior race', so to speak.
Still, can't wait to see if we'll get some kind of explanation for Celestia! Heck, I'd be content with 'She's a Goddess, she does whatever the fuck she wants', I mean even with how simple it is it makes perfect sense.
4225741 while it is very nice of you to keep your promise of clop to us readers and fans you really shouldn't force it, keep to the story how you feel is best and give the clop when you've got a good story for it, in my opinion the actual story of house sparkle is more important, cause like I said the clop felt forced and not as on par as the rest of it, and a few things were missed out on what with AJ's reaction, of course you do now have the option to add in a bit of side stuff like conversations between the house sparkle employees, like haveing them on lunch breaks or late night around the kitchen AJ asking about barb and twi and getting everyone's opinions of everyone else, just an idea of course ^.^, but again still loveing the story and can't wait for more :D!!!!
So, now Twilight has to be afraid of her own sister. That's bad. Twilight really needs to find a way for Barb to be attracted to someone else. It's obvious that Barb is unable to do so left to her own devices.
At least, Sweet Breeze knows she's not going to be able to get close to Twilight by paying surprise visits. However, I feel bad for Fluttershy the first time she meets Applejack. The poor thing might wet herself. I'm still waiting for the paternity test results to come back.
So, Sunset will be showing up soon, her and Vinyl should get along fine. Except for the fact that Sunset doesn't know about Twilight's extra asset. I wonder how Sunset will respond to that. I also wonder when Twilight and Company are going to get a visit from Pinkie's older sister?
Why does everyone enter this fic as an asshole to twilight?
attempt to add some darkness to all of this love and happiness crap
why because why not why wouldn't they want to add the darkness im going to guess blueblood is going to turn sevral colors of rage when he finds out about twilight
Twilight Sparkle
Rarity
Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy
Pinkamena Diane 'Pinkie' Pie
Applejack
And so, the gang's all here.
All I have to say is OMG nuff said.
The whole thing with barb really just annoys me, to be honest.