!Hi , I'm Lean . Have you notice stranges things in the sky? A Delayed sunrise , a rainbow coloured line traveling across the sky very fast to name a few. I've always wondered what was 'It' that caused our lovely land , Choria, to be the last strong hold of humans on their native planet. And what's beyond the Border . No human has been beyond it in 4.5 million years . And if they had , they never came back. Also I love horses . This is my horse . Her name is Waterfall . When chaos descends on my home town of Qunlopa caused by someone called himself 'Discord',who said he came from " a place beyond what we call the Border" I and my horse set off on a journey to find someone to help us stop him .
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NOTE: there will be a granulal build up of My little pony stuff.
Oh no! It's an Annoying Orange!
I'm lost already. It feels like characters are suggesting and doing things that they wouldn't be able to on the spot and then some. Such as...
How do they know there are 'creatures' out there to begin with? This thing about aliens, wouldn't something like that already be known possibly some time ahead? Why do they assume its aliens or some weird life organisms when its a whole lot more likely that something like wouldn't have happened? Do people just live there handy dandy not questioning what's going on outside the 'border' their whole life?
This here in bold. First the protagonist wonders what Discord is. Then seconds later wonders who Discord is without actually having found out anything about it yet. And who keeps all this information running? There is a big lack of explanation missing here, if not whole fully from the story so far. Such as this "Google and that "Siri" I saw in the first chapter. I think I'll just go and...
I know I'm doing this in a weird order but. How does one "hack" a 5 million year old satellite into working again? Satellites barely last 20 years before they malfunction and then just stop working altogether and are predicted to fall out of orbit in a hundred years or so, and then here we have someone that managed to get a 5 million year old satellite to work that happened to still be in orbit?
Then again how can you get Google and/or Google Earth working with merely getting one satellite working? Google as a company has multiple servers across the globe that do the technic crunching to find information across the web. Unless all those websites were still running after 5 million years then Google wouldn't find anything besides what is already 'on the web' anything that isn't still visitable wouldn't otherwise be via Google, you would use something like the Wayback Machine or something, that actually keeps a copy of old websites for archiving purposes. Using Google to look at "the web as it once was" is like using the postal service to send Abraham Lincoln fanmail and expecting him to respond like he would if he were still alive. Exactly how a website works. You send a request to a server, and the server sends you back what you requested.
That reminds me, when you use Google Earth you're not seeing directly from a satellite. All you do is see images that Google has already taken from a web server. That's all Google Earth does, it just loads up images from a Google server and then maps them on a ball.
Oh and that thing about Siri. That works by who would have guessed multiple servers across the globe too. When you use Siri (the thing that Apple purchased from another company) you're basically sending your voice over to the closest Siri-Mega-Server so it can do all that calculus crunching to find out what you said and then give you a response. If you're able to use Siri in that day there then you must have Apple or another similar such company still in existence. Companies like Apple rely heavily on other countries such as Ireland and the like for avoiding tax. They're based in California, and if they do all their money business in Ireland they get to pay less tax. Since Ireland has a smaller tax rate than California does. And if suddenly all of that vanishes in some weird border fiasco then at least Apple if it were based in this border bubble would try to reach out at all costs to its multiple parts in the globe, or the company would simply fall apart, thus not existing anymore, thus no working/running servers for Siri to work on.
There is so much more I could point out, like the horde of grammar mistakes or the inconsistencies played about everywhere. But I at least said out what I thought were the biggest inconsistencies.
Don't take this as hate speech. I just want to help you help me help you enjoy this all the more.
3599407 thanks for pointing all that out. First yes they do live there lives not wondering what's outside the border. Why? For the last three or so centuries...ok I could go on but basically the last ruler brainwashed them to be like that but now he's dead and his daughter ,Princess Cobra hated her father and stopes the brainwashing problem. It's also illegal to be a cyberlogist because of her dad and ancestors. Also I have no idea how the Internet works. But thanks for the feedback.
AAANNNDDD its dead