So, this is what Luna saw every day for 1000 long years...
It's beautiful.
This is a short 1 to 2 chapter story about a pony, underscore, who spends some time on the moon.
This is my first fanfic so please creative criticism is welcome, please comment on how i did. Also don't forget to eat your greens. Thanks toMinimoog Voyager for the name.
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Wat
So what's his name. Or do we get to make it up.
it should be quick note
Other than that, it's pretty good.
3361170 His name is Underscore, obviously
3361170
I couldn't make up a good name for him at the time, must have forgotten to put one in.
Sorry
I don't know what the name should be, so if anyone can post a good idea for it, I be very happy. Also I will put credit where credit is due.
3361175
omg my stomach hurts so much. Thanks for the laugh.
This is an interesting take and rather ironic about the sadness of Luna's banishment. Already its funny your name and the title are similar!
The story's pacing was good, abrupt end though to the chapter, not a bad thing of course. It will be interesting to see your journey, welcome to tartarus- i mean fim!
3361266 thank you very much for that. I also meant for the title to be the same.
Also, thanks for the follow/watch.
3361272
Looking onward to seeing your journey on the site! My it be a great one ha ha.
3361175 well that's his name now.
3361669
Right on! Glad I could both make you laugh and give your character a name!
Last time I checked their names were capitalized, and the elder one's was spelled Celestia, not celestial.
Also, although I liked the story as a whole, I'm finding the ending a bit anti-climactic. You're building a very nice and deep vision throughout the story, but when it comes to the last few lines Luna simply says "yep". I may be a bit nit-picky on this one, but for me it sounds like "yep, whatever" rather than a strong "Yes." filled with sadness. Other than that, I enjoyed it.
3382504 thanks for the insight. Will change. The celestial thing is because of my auto-correct as I am writing this on my phone. Also the yep will be changed.