The last thing that Sombra did was curse the Princess of the Night for not joining him against the world. But when the curse finally goes off, she just turns into a doll.
Chapters (3)
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Joined 11th Nov, 2013 ·
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Fun read want to see where it goes.
I have to agree with 1080p liked and faved
This was a good start, but there are definitely some issues that, when fixed, would make this a pretty good read. They're mostly grammatical errors. If you'd like, I could edit and proofread for you.
3517610 sure ill pm you when I finish the next chapter
I like it! *smash* ANOTHER!
its ok i guess
Wow,a kid getting picked on and an abusive father...At least Luna can help out and make things a little less miserable for him.
Capitalize! Capitalize! CAPITALIZE!
That said, story's good, hoping to see a scene where the kid watches his father getting carried away, and the kid says: "Them' 300 € paddles ain't so got when they hit nothing, are they?"
3543963 um, not gonna start out like that. And luna herself won't help. But you're just going to have to wait and see
3545753 Perhaps I can elaborate on that. What I mean by Luna helping out is not physically because obviously she is only a toy. When a child plays with a toy that he really likes he feels a sense of joy or happiness in his experience whilst playing with it. That is what I meant by Luna "helping" if you will. Sorry for the vagueness of my last comment.
3547145 u have nothing to be sorry about. It was just a misunderstanding on my part. But yes. Luna will be helping in that way
I disagree with the idea that either of the royal sisters or Discord are deities. Otherwise, it looks interesting. I'll drop by every now and then to see it.
Sad story, but hopefully Luna can set things right.
I know you're trying to paint the kid in a bad position, but that doesn't mean he has to have it so rough. The abusive father alone is enough; even the most poorly placed child has some friends.
It feels a little unrealistic which interferes with me relating to the character.
4009260 i feel the same way when I write the chapters, this is my first time doing a story like this, so I am trying my hardest to make it seem reasonably probable
4011507 Fair enough