Frost Bite has had a pretty good life up until one certain event that happened that made him miserable. Upon being miserable, he unknowingly walked into Ponyville and met Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity. He explains to them what happened that made him so miserable and also how he got his cutie mark since no one knew how he got it. Picture was made by me. Rated Teen for language purposes. Colored text represents who's talking.
Frost Bite
Pinkie Pie
Derpy Hooves
Rainbow Dash
Rarity
Twilight Sparkle
Applejack
Fluttershy
Chapters (4)
Passing through with a friend heads up: Writing with coloured text to denote character speech isn't a very good idea. It sounds neat, but it ultimately fails in execution for several reasons:
1) Not all people use the same skin as you. I use Medium Light and it's really hard for me to see Derpy's lines, and extremely hard to see Pinkie's.
2) It's redundant. You already have "she said/he said" so just stick to that.
This story has an OC.
Reminds me of my OC.
Whose name is Frostbite.
Who is a light-blue pegasus with a gray mane and battle scars.
Who also tells his life story to the Mane 6.
Whose family is also dead.
Who is also extremely depressed and contemplating suicide.
Only difference I see is his special talent, cutie mark, and general backstory.
Just a coincidence, right?
But, all things aside, this story's plot is okay, but the grammar needs tons of work. My advice is to write using a word processor like Google Docs, Microsoft Word, or Pages. Then, when finished, you just copy-paste it.
Hope this helps.
-IF
3357718 that's a complete coincidence.... you bein serious?
3357819 I am completely serious. The story is here. Go read it for proof. Everything I said in my previous comment is true.
3357847 I shall read it, and thanks for the tip. This was my first time, so it obviously has it's flaws.