Amadeus
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Not really original, and the anthro element put me off.
But it's well-written, with enough descriptions to help picture what happen, and we even got a language barrier, wich is always interresting for characters interractions.
But plot-Wise some things bother me, like :
WTF AJ's doing in the middle of the Everfree taking a bath ? It make absolutely NO sense, I cannot accept that, it's ridiculous to try to force the situation like this. If the MC stumble upon some water ponds inside AJ orchard I'm ok with this. But AJ bathing in the middle of Everfree ? Come on, it's just too derped.
When I see your title, I thought about a really bad pun, here it is:
nsa34.casimages.com/img/2013/10/10/131010095348121773.png
Don't burn me on a stake!
Btw must read it.
More....
3329417 Glad you like it so far. Hope to have more chapters typed up soon, free time providing.
3328441 Did someone say Khrushchev?
Actually the phrase comes from the 90's cartoon I Am Weasel. We use it in the maintainer world whenever someone has a bright idea so we can make fun of the image of maintainers being basically a bunch of knuckledraggers. LOL
3328336 Thanks for the opinions and giving my story a shot.
Mainly using the anthro element because it would fit into what I have planned for the story better than straight up ponies or humanized ponies. Also I guess if the readers think that AJ was just in the forest to take a bath then I guess I'm doing the right thing by not telling too much. Not going to ruin anything but she wasn't there skinny dipping, just taking a break on a hot day by stepping into the stream. And I have never stated that the forest that they are in was the Everfree forest, so maybe she thought it was safe enough go into the river.
I only have one thing to say about this story...
memecrunch.com/meme/1RKD/please-sir-i-want-some-more/image.png
3343128 Thanks for the review and glad you like it so far. I already have the next two chapters written and should have them typed and the next two after that written sometime tomorrow.
3344751 Good...good... I eagerly await them...
And if you don't mind me asking, what is your method for coming up with the "foreign" language?
3344764 My way of doing the Equis language without telling spoilers is using a cipher system on normal English.
3344789 Ah, I see. That's better than most of what I've read on this site. I enjoy stories where Equestrians speak a different language then that of the human, but too many authors just smash their keyboards in order to make a language.
Anyways, I see great potential for this story so far, as long as you keep up the good quality...
3344812. Well I hope I don't let my readers down.
Yay! More more MORE! Before I
molestkick you!3350157 Glad you like it so far, and typing out the next chapter now. Hopefully it's done before I fall asleep.
Interesting setup, though you seem to have a problem switching between past and present tense halfway through a paragraph.
Magic has zero effect on him, does it?
3350650 Thanks for letting me know so I can get better. I shall go through and try to correct those mistakes.
3350804 Yup.
A detachment to Japan...so probably doing flights on the Commies. Good, we need all the SIGINT we can get.
They let you bring smartphones - and have them out of storage on a charger - on a platform like the RJ? I don't know anything about Air Force security, but that seems like a bad idea on a sensitive platform like that.
You've got an impressive knowledge of survival skills.
Alaska was teeming with all sorts of dangerous wildlife
3350971 Maintainers are kept in the back away from any top secret material but mainly needed a reason for him to not have a smartphone. And thanks for the spelling correction
Glowing red eyes? But I thought they were green last night.
3350989 Does he have a duffle bag? If so it could be in there and that would be in the cargo bay. Now you just need a reason why it was in that bag and not in his pocket. Scratch that, say that it was in there for security reasons.
3351002 Lol yes they were. Corrected and thank you.
3351043 Well most of us maintainers use one of the many electrical outlets in the back to run/ charge our electronic devices. So more than likely if it was charging in the back while he tried to sleep it would be in a cupholder or sitting at an empty seat in the back. On ferry flights like this one duffel bags would be stored by the cargo door just because of lack of extra space.
[broken link removed]
EDIT: Noticed that the link is broken, fixed it with a similar image.
EDIT 2: Yet another broken link... Ya know what, just google "quagmire giggity" and you should get the idea.
Now things have gotten even more interesting! :)
... You a fan of team four star ?
This is where my actions would differ from the MC. If someone holds a knife to my throat, the arm holding the knife gets broken. Period. No exceptions.
3410049 Yeah, but I'll try not to add too many references in the story. Might be hard to do LOL.
3409944 Indeed, but answers are coming soon...at least some of them.
Where did this name come from? I thought the MC's name was Alex?
3410230 Nope the characters name is Eric, "Alex" is part of the Equis language and it's just coincidence that it's also a name from Earth.
3410097 True but he's not trying to give the girls with pointy sticks a good enough reason to kill him, just enough to diffuse the situation. Not like he can just tell them.
Sounds like Celestia knows he is here, either by magic or Twilight sending a message.
The plot thickens.
EDIT: Will we ever get some kind of translation as to what the equines are saying in the previous chapters?
3410709 I thought about putting translations in the dialogue when I started typing it out, but then I figured if the reader did not know what was being said then it would just add to the mystery of the plot. Equis should start fading out here in a few chapters, but if enough people want I will see if there is a way to post a translated version somewhere.
3411124
Dump each chapter with the equis present into a gdoc and add the translation beside the original in bold or something. That will keep all of us curious buggers satisfied.
3410383
The difference between the mentality of a former Army infantryman and of an Air Force maintainer, I guess.
They don't understand words, but the guards would understand force. Not to mention they they seem abnormally weak for a military force (marshmallows* the lot of them). Only difficult part would be beating the spear-wielding ones, and only because there is a heightened amount of danger. Afterward, restraining them would be simple (duct tape, and if he doesn't have a few rolls of that with him, what kind of maintainer is he???) and, after receiving proper medical attention, they can be shoved into a corner while Eric (which makes this whole thing feel weird as that's my name, lol) grabs some sack time. If Sparks were to see that, I don't think she would be too upset after she realizes the treatment that Eric has received has been nothing short of completely hostile.
*Marshmallows are soft, squishy (giggity) and easy to burn. The Royal Guard aren't much different now, are they
3410378
Did he ever react to that? It seems like something that a person would react to ("Alex? No, Eric."), and I'm still recovering from having about ten hours of sleep in the past week or so, so I do not trust my memory.
3411214 True, but unless he had some kind of experience fighting with multiple armed assailants I don't think he would risk it. Unfortunately they don't teach airmen any sort of hand to hand combat in Basic so any fighting experience he'd have would be stuff he has learned. Plus he's trying to convince them that he's not a threat to them and just wants to get home, even if he has to deal with them and their attitudes until then. I don't follow the belief that the Royal Guard are completely incompetent just that their training is outdated compared to modern standards of military training.
No weak ass duct tape in maintainer world, we use Speedtape and safety wire.
Any similariteis Eric may have noticed between Equis and English is lost on the scope of trying to follow what their saying and doing to try and understand what their saying. Because honestly anytime I go to a foreign country and I'm trying to talk with the locals it's pretty much just that because they talk so fast in their native tongue.
3411268
Those marshmallows would get their d
-fine a
es handed to them.
Again, another difference. I know about four or five martial arts so, yeah
Eh, in the Army they hand out EB Green for everything. Canteen leaking? Use EB Green. Fuel line on a tank leaking? EB Green. Leg broken? Make a splint of EB Green. Boot not shutting up? Seal it with EB Green. Severed arm? Use EB Green to reattach it. Green Weenie coming around for his daily tour of your unit? Plug your hole with EB Green, though chances are even that won't help
I know the feeling, fun part is when you do know the language, so when they are trying to insult you in their tongue, you can reply to them in their own language. You can get some funny reactions by doing that
Still, they said it enough that you'd think someone would be able to pick hear that word. Though he must have missed the training session that grunts in the Army receive for learning how to deal with insane BS. It's important to learn how to stop questioning the logic/sanity of things when dealing with governmental bureaucracy, and this situation seems like it would be a welcome relief from that 
3411297 LOL true enough. I could have made him some kind of super soldier but in the end it wouldn't have fit the maintainer persona and I thought would run the risk of sounding too close to a Gary Stu.
We have green duct tape, but not able to use it on aircraft. Still, we get all the good glues and adhesives to use ( rtv, B 1/2, epoxy, etc.). Don't know how many times I've stopped a cut from bleeding with super glue, tech wipes and duct tape.
The language thing will be taken care of in a few chapters but I still have some more confusion fun to play on Eric, and even when it is solved it won't be in his favor.
As far as survival unless you're Aircrew you don't get any survival training beyond the Army's SERE 100.1 course online.
3411178 I'll try to do that. Still figuring out this GoogleDoc thing. I just copy-paste my chapters from Word and edit them here on Fimfiction.
3411390
If you need any help with Gdoc, just let me know. I use it constantly.
3411366
up.
Yeah, major differences between POGs and Grunts. Do grunts care if we hurt peoples' feelings? No. Do we care if we seem overpowered to a bunch of civies? No. We are warriors, not diplomats. Our job is to clean up after the diplomats f
I'm pretty sure that there was a Chinook that I was flying in that was only flying due to the amount of duct tape on it... All of the guts on the inside looked fine, but the outside (on closer inspection) seemed to be more duct tape than metal... (
In reality, there was a lot of EB Green on that thing, but more on the seats than anything vital)
Let me guess, Eric, without knowing it, confessed his undying love for AJ and they are set to be married, and if he doesn't, then Big Mac gets to play his rendition of the nut-cracker
I can total see Celestia pulling a stunt like that 
3411436
It's the same mentality in the maintainer world, except we call anyone who doesn't work on the flightline nonners. In fact most maintainers will tell you we feed off the hurt feelings and tears of new airmen and nonners
And don't even get me started on the whinning I hear from most Pilots/Aircrew.
As funny as that sounds it won't be that extreme, still it would be f
g hilarious.
3411436 Thanks for the offer. I'll try it by myself first and then more than likely go to the all knowing "Google"
Then again I could just give everyone the Cipher and let them translate it themselves.
*hint* *hint* it's a mixture of a E-A and H-A cipher. 
3411460
I think these guys do it best-
[youtube=SdSj0_Fd4ds]
I have an uncle in the USAF's version of an IT department. They do the exact same BS as a civilian counterpart. "Have you tried turning it on and off again? Is it plugged in?" You'd be surprised how many problems that fixes.
3411469
Who needs Big Brother when we have Google?
I thought that looked familiar! My father was ex-Navy Intel so he taught me a few common cyphers.
3411558 Highly accurate and it's the same in both fighter and heavy worlds.
Fluttershy doesn't seem OOC, she probably went away and spoke to Twilight who told of his situation and her motherly instincts kicked in.
3441892 Thanks that's a relief to hear. With her reserved nature I'm always worried of her acting too social way faster than someone like her really would be.
3441959
Think of it like when she first met spike. She was scared of her shadow and basically exploded out of her shell because he was a new species. Kinda the same thing here, but with more confusion and lack of communication.
Maybe something to explain the sudden change such as her seeing Twilight or something.... but that would ruin the current track of not seeing a discussion from their languages side. *contemplates*