Loves to read and write, I decided to try writing fanfiction after a long hiatus thanks to ponies
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An event 22 years ago, took the life of their father. Now two brothers must follow the job that their mother started and hunt the undead, monsters, and spirits that haunt Equestria. The mane six will deal with the monsters and the dragons, but they do not know of the darker side of their world or of the creatures that lie in the shadows.
Hunt monsters, protect ponies, thats the family business.
(art belonging to Lilly kitten
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3296946
Trying my best for a fusion fic. I am trying to make one at least and try to change up the elements
Its a good effort, but... I just can't get behind your personal style of writing. It just feels... off. I dunno why... But I like the concept, so Imma thumbs it up. G'luck to you, but this fic just doesn't seem to be for me.
3361652
What do you mean by, "Personal writing style" I mean, I can understand if you feel something is off, I am just curious as to where you are coming from or if you can mention what is off.
3361758
Things are just worded... Weird. I can't specificly point out exactly what's strange with the wording, but the fight scene in the second chapter felt off......... But honeslty I need to give the fic more of a chance than two chaps and a bonus chap. I'll keep in my read later list for now.
Oh!
Just realised something else that put me a little off: The way ponies just go with it. I mean, Derpy and Dinky just kinda... Go with it. I mean, Dinky lost her best friend, Derpy nearly lost her baby. It feels...... Feels.... Almost... Rushed? Is that the word I'm looking for? *shrug* I dunno.
Also, Pinkie. How are the boys not fipping out that she knows what they did last night?
On a much more positive note: Carmie. Love the buck outta her.
3362005
Ok, I get where you are getting, some of the emotions and character interactions are a bit off. Thank you. I think I improve on thee reactions and such in the later chapters, but thank you for pointing this stuff out.
Also, thanks...I am kind of proud of doing Carmine myself.
I love the supernatural tv series so when I read this I hope you dont disappoint hehehe
3393613
I hope not to, I do try
I lol'd at the 'black impala'. Good start.
But you should have linked to Carry On My Wayward Son
3393888
Wait till the end. Wait till the end my friend.
As someone who just finished watching a season 8 episode I can only say: ah, for the days when Sam was a likeable character.
I like the way you've taken bits and pieces from the various seasons of the show, while leaning towards the earlier ones by the looks of it and the dynamic between the bros. Sam is a bit more in character than Dean, but I think that's because you've taken some of Dean's characteristics to give to Carmine the Impala, which is cool in itself (DeanxImpala FTW!). I'd quite like to see Carmine join the boys in working a case actually, she seems pretty cool.
3434116
Well, the reason for why I have been using a lot of the eariler seasons charactizations is mainly because that is where I had started watching and is where I have gotten through the most so far (note: I have also watched the anime all the way through and loved it)
Thanks for the compliments on Carmine, I was hoping that she would play out well and not be too overbearing or hurting in the story. I was afraid to put her on a case because I got nervous she would take away from the brothers.
Thanks for the compliments. I am glad to have done a series I love and the first time I wrote for the brothers justice.
Soo... I've read everything now. You did a good job in the portrayal of the two brothers, so congratulation.. However there were some things that bothered or confused me. I only say this so you might improve, not to insult you:
The thing that has bothered me the most was the pacing. Everything felt so rushed. You tried to push as many information in one sentence, making it long and difficult to understand. Sometimes I had to read a sentence twice, because the game has been turned an won within only one or two sentence. So I had to find out what was the actual game changer or how they got where they where when they were on the other edge of town just a second before.. To give you an example:
When they fought Freddy, Luna appeared and within a few sentences the fight was over and won. Quite a shame since you introduced him so briefly. Or they visited the corps, met derpy and the next second they are in her bedroom. You skipped some details to keep the plot going, but in my case I think such details make a story lively. Or when they fought the vampire leader. At first I didn't understand where the knife came from and how Sam used it, since such informations got packed into a sentences with also involved most of the fighting scene itself. There was rarely room for a breather.
There was little built up to support the climax so that the climax itself could be easily missed. It felt like one of those newer movies where action scene is followed by an action scene followed by an action scene and you get dazed because everything happens so quickly that you can't really comprehend what has happened. The actual plot got lost somewhere in between imo. Long story short, it felt like you wanted to push out the chapter no matter what so the pacing increased towards the end of each chapter.
What confused me a little was your attitude. The scene where that guy's wife got killed and himself got raped.. Well I assume being raped is quite traumatic yet you described it as he only worried about himself so the actual rape was far more worse than his wife being slain. At least thats what I took from that scene. There were some other scene which I can't recall right now, when I thought "
" in terms of character behavior, but that could also only be me. Someone else might react differently. 
Carmin. Ok she is an impala. I can live with that. She basically represents the car and is quite well integrated, so good job with that one.
I can understand that she can find stuff quickly, like a modern Navi. I can also understand that she moves very quickly being a impala n'all. So she has two feats that make her special. In my opinion you should have passed on the whole "her two horns were glowing" thingy. She is no unicorn so she doesn't need the light show nor does it fit her. Her speed and precision are a natural talent and shouldn't be viewed as magic imo.
I also noticed some typos through some of the chapters. For example "the" instead of "they" or a word where some letters are mixed up. Nothing too dramatic, so I guess it would only take 5 min of your time and your prefered correction tool to fix most of them.
Everything I just wrote was my own opinion. Some might not agree and thats fine. I just thought that I might let you know about my thoughts.
3713140
Hey, no big. I take critiques pretty well as long as they are well constructed like yours are. Thanks for the review and I agree, there are somethings I felt were rushed (The problems with doing a project like this in only a month and keeping to a schedule, especially when I had never tried it before)
A lot of what you said are things that I will definately take into consideration when I do this project again next year
This dialogue seems... off. It doesn't really convey the emotion of the characters. It feels like they are narrating or reading a written story instead of recalling a traumatic experience.
At first, I thought she was being sarcastic.
I think this seems a bit rushed....
I hope u know that in the show their mom was the one gone not their dad.
4830993
I know, I did this to see what would be different if the bros were raised by their mother and not father.
Wait! You had supernatural fan fic all this time... With Jason Voorhees! Why didn't I find this sooner.
So glad I found this. Will read the first chapter soon and give you feed back.
The picture was adorable and heartwarming. I'm glad that this story returned.
Are you diverting away from the original methods of killing various creatures?
In "Supernatural" the only way to kill a vampire (besides using the Colt or angel blade, unless I'm forgetting something) is by decapitation.
And Dead Man's Blood only makes them unable to move, cause extremely unpleasant sensations or just make them lose consciousness. But not kill them.
5093097
...Chalk that one up to me completly forgetting how it worked in the show, vs how I am used to seeing a vampire killed in a movie (ask anybody, I have the memory of a shiv).
3362005 for your first two points. Derpy and dinky know the doctor, they've seen weirder shit. Third point Sam and dean have seen weirder shit.
Love the chapter.
That is sweet
Love this chapter.
Oh shit. Weeping angels?
I enjoy this crossover with Buffy. One of your best chapters.
LUNA VS FEDDY KREUGER! HELL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
THAT> WAS> EPIC>
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. You have yet to disappoint.
Squee! Buck you, there will be a Bufy crosover, you will eventualy succumb to the pressure. Now WRITE EMOAR SUPRNATURAL AND THEN WRITE A BUFY FANFIC.
Weeping angels? Da buck did you het weeping angels? Also, in fufilment of the lords wished, he wants you to kniw there are angels all around us.qsc
5203430
Moar! We need to co write a buffy fic! I hve wanted to do one, and am about to, bt input would be nice. KTHXZBYE!
5284755 I'm talking about the stone type. Not fucking Gabriel or lucifer (chill, irony, guy)
Does anyone else remember what happened the last time someone impersonated Jason's momma? It certainly didn't go this well XD
5093097 true but maybe if the had a lot of it like they hole body then maybe it could kill them. For the record this is just a theory.
Crow really man really.
I will play this song at the beginning of every chapter know.3393888
Nice to see a Children of the Corn reference.
Thank you so much for including Nube and Korosensei in this story.
Their description at the end of this chapter clashes a lot with their images in the cover art.
6551145
Yeah, sadly that was the best image I could find. I did have a piece of art with the designs I wanted, but it wouldn't upload. So I went with this one instead.
6551056
What can I say, I watched one episode of each and I kind of got hooked.
Seems Pennywise will be the antagonist of this season. Will the Whinnychester siblings meet up with the Main 6 in the future?
8470374
I try to keep Sam and Dean's adventures seperate from the mane six when I can. This way the boys can have time to shine and I don't end up having the mane six show up the boys.
What's the sex tag for?