When Fluttershy is making Angel Bunny's breakfast, she has all the ingredients except for one. When she go's out to buy the last ingredient, she comes across a certain red stallion. Fluttershy begins to have feelings for him, but doesn't know if she's ready yet. Will Fluttershy tell the stallion her feelings? Or will she keep them to herself and never let them be heard.
Page generated in 0.11 seconds
Total duration
989 users online
283,412 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
that was your first fanfic amazing your great at writing
I don't mean that as a offence
3272127 Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!! I am soooo glad that you like it!!! It was soo hard to edit and rewrite and i'm soo glad that I already have a lot of views!!! Again, thank you soooo much!!!!!!!!!
3273003 Yeah I am new here and it's nice to know that im not the only new one here and i know that if you write any stories that they will amazing
I'm new
3277749 Cool!
Here's a song for you from me!
:
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
A fine Welcome to you!
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
I say how do you do!
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
I say hip hip hurray
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
To FIMfiction today!
This chapter seems a little rushed, but the editing can wait.
Meanwhile, this is so CUTE!!!
How sweet!
3280773 thank you!!!!
3280819 thank you again!!! I am very grateful that you like it
3282635
You're welcome! I can't wait to see how it turns out!
3282625
No problem.
It was nice of Big Mac to give the apples to Fluttershy free of charge.
Loving the story!
3283749 thank you!! Im working on the fourth chapter i might make it around the 2000s just to make it up to you guys for making the "Rain, Rain, Go Away" chapter so short
Poor Fluttershy's scared of thunder.
At least thoughts of Big Mac make her feel better.
It was great with that twist I
ed this story so far 
3286632 Thank you!!!!
You need to go through and edit your grammar. You forgot to capitalize a few of the "I"s in the story, also, don't use some of the ponies names to much, if the readers read who it was, they wont need a constant reminder, this was extremely noticeable in the second chapter. All around a good story. I know how hard it can be for a first time author, but you will get better!
3380488 thanks for the reminder!!!! I wont use her name as much anymore. Oh and thank you!
Aw... Isn't that just cute?
By the way, you've got a lot of errors in this chapter. "Apple Bloom" and "Sweetie Belle" are two-word names. Plus, you misspelled "owner." And you're missing some quotation marks.
Thought I should help.
3707259 wow, I never knew Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had their names apart, thanks for the tip!! And also thanks for fixing that paragraph it helped alot!!
:pink
iehappy:
3707686 You're welcome.
Love the story! Can't wait for more chapters!
3708139 thanks so much!!!
The ending had a realy good twist
.I love
the story can't wait for the next chapter.
3725974 thanks!!! I'll update as soon as I can
Another good chapter, although in your first paragraph it felt like you started out every sentence with "She". I would suggest instead of starting the sentence with a pronoun, you start it with a verb. Consider: Instead of "She slowly got out of her bed and headed to the mirror and grabbed her brush and started brushing her hair." Try making it more along the lines of "Slowly getting out of her bed, she headed to the mirror and grabbed her brush and started brushing her hair."
YOU HAVE IMPROVED ALREADY, KEEP IT UP!
Oh, Pinkie...
Aw... That's just adorable! Fluttershy and Big Mac planning their first date...
I rather enjoyed this one, Short and sweet. It did feel a tad bit rushed though but even I write like that, no worries.
Your writing is still getting better.
Yay
There's not a lot of praise I can give this story. By how it reads in previous chapters I found myself liking it less and less and apparently it isn't complete yet.
I suppose I can give it the benefit of the doubt until its end, but I don't think I'm going to go back to it again in future.
Matter of fact the only thing I can say was good is where Rarity is getting friendlier with Fancypants.
They have RICE CRISPIES in ponyvil that um............Realy something