Featured 9/12/13. You guys are awesome!
Queen Chrysalis and Princess Jade are worried. Equestria, and the planet Sol, are about to be plunged into a chaos the likes of which have not been seen since the War of the Sun and the Moon almost a thousand years ago. The problem is, the changelings are the only ones who know it is coming. The second problem is, every other race despises the changelings, viewing them as a lesser race. So Chrysalis and her sister hatch a desperate plan: To infiltrate the rankings of Equestria and gain their trust, so that the ponies might once again trust the Peacekeepers of old. Should Princess Jade fail... everything will be plunged into darkness and madness.
Chapters (1)
You used Swedish? I now expect a bit of Sabaton to be referenced.
Also, are the converted changelings still able to feed off of love?
I wondered who'd finally pick up wrabbit's idea. Glad to see it was you.
hmmm
Wow: The concept of this story is highly intriguing, and it seems as if you have spent quite some work on this chapter.
I believe in a headcanon where changelings - changelings in general, including Chrissy - are good ponies. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this.
Nice. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Uh... I think you mashed two sentences together there and left out something in the result.
Very interesting start. Let us see where this will go.
Down the road to glory and fame? 
Or will it trip and snap it's neck before catching fire and burn? 
Well, lookie here! When you started this whole fanfic writing affair, you ever considered having three of them at once?
Time to officially follow you. And I shall wait for updates of all your works with bated breath!
Now.
Love the idea, even if it's not entirely yours, minor details.
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130405221913/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
This is going to be awesome, I just know it! So much canon can be changed here!
Keep up the good work!
Oh, this:
Should be "We outcasts". Why? Drop the 'outcast' and see if the rest of the sentence makes sense.
Or maybe even "We the outcasts"? I don't know... that might be pushing it.
You have my favorite already, and you on the threshold for a like. I just need more to read.
The beginning of this story is very well-done, now I await to see how you will implement the rest.
Welp, at least this one you give us fair warning that some world-spanning threat is coming in. I like your writing, Flicka, you just do some zany shit and cram stuff in till the story is bursting at the seams trying to support it all. I'll be keeping an eye out on this one and see what you plan on doing here.
While it may not be exactly what I was looking for, this is instantly an interesting, and fascinating premise. Your execution is marvelous, and I have no complaints with it. You've earned yourself a thumbs-up, a star, and a watch. Well done. I can hardly wait to see where you take this.
You may want to take care of a few things, however.
.3193845
This. Also, you capitalize pod several times when it's not strictly necessary. Those were the only two major things that took me out of the story. Good job.
I love it. ^_^ This plus Valkyrie make you full of win and awesome.
One chapter and I'm sold.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
O_O When Twilight/Jade remembers her relationship with Chrysalis along with her relationship with Celestia, this. will. get. awkward.
Auto-fave, I love it.
*Reading reading reading* Utstött? Vad i helvete?
That was suprising, anyway up to a very good start
I had to look up Utstött and found the meaning interesting. Faved and I'll see where this tale leads us!
I'm highly interested to see where you go with this next. Timeskips will be involved, I'm guessing. The wedding... I'd say it'll be really interesting, but I get the feeling that it just won't happen in this. Hope to see more of this soon!
3194434 And we wonder why Twilight's so...
I will certainly be tracking this, but I need to see if this fic will actually keep going on at least a semi regular basis before I can like it.
Excellent premise, but I'd hate to see it become abandoned after a few chapters. Or take forever to update like some other fic I know.
This is brilliant. So very, very brilliant.
So let me get this straight... all of the Mane 6 are 'orphans' left on a doorstep... and not a single family ever tells any of them this.
Yeahhhhh... that strains believability there rather badly.
And the Element of Harmony just happen to choose them...
And Discord doesn't notice anything odd about them when he directly touches their minds...
And this is the 'best' plan Chrysalis can come up with to warn Celestia... rather than spend, oh, about 20 years convincing her... which seems to me a rather better plan.
E-nope.
3194634 NOt sure what you mean..
This is a very original idea, and one that REALLY interests me. I will be looking forward to more of this.
more^^
There's no need for the archaic use of often here.
Pods is an item. Pod Chamber, sure it can be capitalized, as you're referring to a location. But, I don't capitalize pencil or paper, do I? You have numerous instances of this.
Not needed to be capitalized, you're referring to a vague process, not anything proper here. If you were to keep this capitalized, then you'd need to capitalize law too.
Picture mid text... Big no-no. Flicka, thought you knew stuff like that.
So, the story itself. Reminds me of another one I saw with the six of em changelings that was in the feature box (go figure, when do changelings not hit the box) Is this in some way inspired by it? Haven't seen that particular story since it's release, so curious.
You're opening up a HUGE can of worms. There is no way that they can get to a post season three point without being discovered, or even the wedding, if you take it that far. Even then, the fact that Twilight is a changeling will become readily apparent, unless you radically alter her character (looking at the AU tag). How far down the storyline you take it will also stretch the potential plausibility of this story. I'm hesitant to get too involved just yet, you have that habit of cramming too much into a story. Whatever happened to a nice, simple, 'X is a Changeling' Slice of Life story without some massive thing at stake? I'd kill for one of those.
Well, that's all for now. I'll keep an eye on this in my Read Later list, Flicka, and see what you do with it. I know from history that when you update, you'll update, so I won't ask when and simply wait for now. How you develop it is going to go a long way in whether I stick with this or not. Peace.
3193132 Guess you will see!
3193136 Yup. I was all.ready planning this, and then he gave me the courage to publish it.
3193708 I was hoping it would get a reaction like this.
3193845 Fixed, and thanks. I missed that part when I had to reformat the thing.
3194002 Only time shall tell.
3194070Whoo! Yea, I've got a lot of extra time at the moment, so updates galore!
3194276 Of course. I shall aim to please.
3194307 I am overjoyed you of all people like it, and those issues are fixed.
3194322 Thanks!
3194633 Not too many time skips. This tale shall follow the normal canon timeframes easily, I think.
3194653 Is that other fic one of.my others? I'm sorry!
3194796 Your are assuming way to much, which only makes an ass out of you and me. Assuming so much from chapter one is just rude. The only reader who can claim they know what goes on in my head is Shirotora. You're just being rude for the heck of it, I think.
3195116
Let's spread the word about the selfless sacrifices changelings have made for ponykind.
This is my contribution.
3195116 You DO seem to really enjoy the "Twilight turns into / is a changeling" theme tho... mixed, very very mixed, feelings on it. It'll all depend upon how the "Princess Jade remembers who she is" is handled here... praying that it goes right and is nice and fun...
3195116 Also, good changelings FTW!
3194796
Where do you get that thought and why would it matter? They will reconnect with the hive mind after they get their cutie marks and will already know what happened no matter if they are told or not.
And the Elements of Harmony just happen to choose a group of mares who know each other barley one day..... your point still stands but i think it still in the acceptable area
Where do you get that from? Discord has not appeared yet and this is an AU story so it isn´t written in stone that the encounter will go the canon way
No argument against this point except that 20 years of diplomatic talk doesn´t make an interesting story unless the author knows what he does.
3195176 When you think up a plot, it's generally a good idea for a drastic solution to genuinely be the ONLY SOLUTION.
If this 'great looming danger' is so great and looming... how is it they have time to spend waiting god-only-knows how many years for these foals to get their cutie marks, assuming nothing happens to them in the meantime... assuming the great and looming whatever doesn't arrive early... which then begs the question of how she now has the power to see the future so clearly anyway and Celestia seemingly can't if we are to assume that Chrysalis is doing this because she knows or at least assumes Celestia doesn't know.
Not to mention, these other foals are supposed to watch over Twilight... yet none of them are in Canterlot... where you would think they kinda need to be to watch over her... unless Chrysalis somehow knows that Twilight will be chosen by Celestia to be her student and will be performing her magic test at the exact moment when Changeling Dash performs her Sonic Rainboom, thus triggering all their Cutie Marks and causing Twi to have her magic surge and hatch Spike, thus setting in motion everything that leads up to Twilight going to Ponyville and meeting all of them in the first place!
Yup, Chrysalis predicted all of that. Which is clearly why the other 5 are nowhere near Twilight at all. Because Chrysalis is more omniscient than God, apparently.
Ya see, in the show, Celestia merely took advantage of the situation presented to her by all of these happenstances. She utilized coincidence to her advantage. That's why it's believable. In this story, we have to make ourselves believe that Chrysalis either had foreknowledge of EVERYTHING or has been guiding everything from behind the scenes... and if she is poking things from the shadows, watching and guiding events, why even havethe other 5 in the first place, so that option is already out the window and we're left with "I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!!"... and how the Elements and Nightmare Moon aregoing to be involved in this I cannot even fathom.
This is already looking like a ridiculous Xanatos Gambit, where EVERYTHING must happen according to Chrysalis' plan perfectly for years on end or it will fail horribly.
It's so heavily biased towards the whole 'changeling superiority movement', it's laughable.
3195295
magic
BAM!
She hated this plan with an absolute passion, and really, who could blame her? The Queen was getting ready to send her own sister into a place where their kind were not welcome. She would be considered a monster if she didn’t like this idea, and despite what Outsiders thought, she was not a monster.
Do you mean, "monster if she didn't hate this idea"? Because right now she hates the idea, and was not a monster, and would be a monster if she didn't like the idea.
Isn't it a bit odd that the one Harvester knows all those families? I mean, I don't think we really know where the others' families were, so we could just say they were all Ponyville-area, but Twilight Sparkle's definitely from Canterlot. It wouldn't be that hard to have a second Harvester recommend that one, or have it preselected by the time of the story.
Nighty Light
It seems odd to me that the nickname would be longer than the actual name. Were you going to have her nicknamed "Nighty" and then changed your mind or something? If this is intentional, then no problem and never mind this.
3194796 This is non-canon, so it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, they are supposed to remember that they're changelings "after getting their cutie marks", not a decade later, and I can't really see Chrysalis of this story acting like canon Chrysalis, etc. etc.
3195295
Hmm yeah a explanation why they know it and why that is the best solution is definitely lacking (it might come later but unless there is a specific reason to withhold it should be put into the prologue or first chapter)
Maybe they aren´t all in canterlot since it would have raised suspicion if 6 foals would appear on doorsteps in the same area. That twilight was chosen as Celestias student might even be the reason Chrysaliss dosn´t relocated the other five to Twilight since it would be to risky (the story isnt there jet so we can only assume)
Why does Chrysalis need to know everything or have planned for everything? She could just "wing it" as Celestia did if thing happens as in canon.
Would all your assumptions be true then yes, but you are assuming way to much at this point. You are acting as if you already now how the entire story will go, that is rather an achievement considering only the first chapter is posted (which i would rather qualify as a prologue) especially considering that the story could go complete AU and have nothing to do with canon.
Nice concept, on I've seen before but not quite like this. Can't imagine Twilight/Jade whatever will take kindly suddenly being the princess of a foreign species though..but I'll save that for when it happens.
Also, how would the Utstött be able to keep the bodyguard schtick secret if the changelings share a hivemind? And while I'm posing questions about changelings aren't they more or less guarding their aunt? Assuming chrysalis lays the eggs like most insect species' queens do.
3195295
Maybe let's stop throwing around assumptions when we don't really know a darn thing about the story itself.
As far as we know none of this may happen at all. You seem to be under an assumption that this is Equestria from the show with an added spin on girls' origin. So far nothing supports this hypothesis and yet here you are, throwing a fit as if it was a sound theory.
Wait and see, then... still don't throw fits. It's immature and unbecoming for someone who calls themselves literate person.
Also, the idea of changelings not being evil is not laughable. It's an interesting question whether or not they are empathetic and what that entails. If we assume they experience emotions of others and that they feed upon love, it is a logical assumption that they would not appreciate negative thoughts. Therefore, they would be(or try to be, at the least) friendly and willing to help anyone who needs assistance. That would earn them all kinds of positive emotions to experience and also love to feed upon. Given willingly, out of gratitude.
Though I agree that it would be beneficial to see just what it was that allowed the Queen to see the oncoming storm. Or let's be blunt and ask: How does she know Nim is coming back?
Regarding the "contact ponies peacefully and warn them", even with the time gap, it'd be difficult for changelings to convince ponies about impeding disaster, if only because "they are liars and shapeshifters, we can't trust them!" attitude. Zecora's case clearly shows that ponies are not that tolerant and... wait, I'm throwing assumptions around... we don't know if Zecora even exists here...
Yes, let's just wait for more chapters and then start any kind of discussion about it.
Edit: Yikes, I just added to whole pile of replies... sorry, now it seems we are bashing you in the ground...
Color me intrigued. I'm interested in how this will turn out.
3194952 We all know Twilight has a few interesting details in her psyche. (Mild OCD, combined with a propensity for overreaction and subsequent mental breaks.) Gotta admit, the whole changeling princess thing does kinda explain it.
3195116 Who's Princess Jade?
Alrighty then, you have my attention. *Puts on Read Later to keep track of it*
3195986 I thought the description of Princess Jade, and the ending, made it obvious who she is?
This seems to be off to a good start, and the premise is interesting. I can't wait to see where you take this!
This shows promise so far. Though there where a few things that irked me.
I was at first unsure how well blending in Swedish into the English sentences would turn out. Then I realised that I sometimes let Swedish words slip past when I speak English, so I let it go, at least if you make it so they speak full time Swedish from a outside point of view. Jag litar på det.
As another point
This paragraph uses the word 'slightly' a bit too much. A larger word variety would make it look neater and give the text a better flow.
As my last point I want to point out that the post scriptum of the basket note looks incredibly wrong and out of place. It is very odd that her full name is written on the note. Usually such notes only include a first name. Wouldn't you find it creepy if you found a baby girl in a basket and the note said the baby's name was Tiffany (insert your last name here). Also, a scientific study showed that children abandoned on doorsteps had a higher chance of getting adopted by the target family if the child was unnamed. I wish I could point you to the data of the study, but read it in a science magazine quite some years ago.
3193132 Did someone say Sabaton?
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndA6Bl7KKUg#]
3195626 Ahhh good point.
Wait... what if Celestia knew about her identity all along
Well, this should be interesting. They say no plan survives contact with the enemy. Seeing how this one dies should be most entertaining. I look forward to it.
3196692 Then things could get interesting.
Hmmm...
I'm usually wary of the 'undeserved Changeling persecution' trope, but this looks interesting. The fact that it's AU helps to sell it, but be wary of future characterization. Few people like a Draco in leather pants.
Anyway, first chapter is good though I hope the second isn't too long in coming. This one sets up nicely, but we aren't yet into the meat of the story.
3196622 Yes, someone said Sabaton.
I really like the way you have set this up and am very much looking forwards to reading more.