Twisted Spare, while studying a book of myths, comes across a terrible prophesy: the ancient evil of Queen Husk, once sealed inside Queen Chrysalis’s heart by the Elements of Unity, is predicted to emerge as a twin to an unloved Goddess—on the date of the coming Change Carnival! Despite her student's worries, the Queen sends Twisted and her assistant, Gaze the cockatrice, out to the hamlet of Fangville, where she is to oversee the preparations of the Carnival.
Where she will meet five certain Changelings that will change her life her forever…
((Cover by Shadowfoxnjp on FA.))
Chapters (3)
Liked and faved for the premise, I'll be reading it later when you have more chapters up
Also: FIRST!
I honestly hope that these changelings meet the main cast as well the reactions on them would be PRICELESS!
By the Queens Holy Hooves! This is just too amusing to pass up, You simply must continue this.
I shall see. If this is a pure farce, it could be quite amusing.
3071379 Get out.
This is featured with only 7 comments!?
Very interesting plot here; so similar, yet so very different.
Oh, and it's not coincidence that "helicopter" ends in "-ter," it was named as such because of the helical motion the wing-like rotor blades perform. Helical optera. Helicopter.
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I just thought... since there are so many correlations between the myths of Nightmare Moon and Queen Husk, perhaps the Goddess of the Night, Luna, is in fact a changeling. She is the only pony we've seen that has shape-shifting abilities, and Nightmare Moon's mythological form has fangs, slit irises and a pitch-black "coat" that are shared with changeling queens. One goddess for the ponies, one goddess for the "pretenders."
I should probably refrain from posting my theories though, since they may inadvertently spoil a plot twist.
Huh.
Well.
I like it. But I think the clear implication here is that in falling behind, and better get my stuff up.
3070943
Why wait?
3071255
It could be. It could...
3071733
That's I hope to do!
3071808
I'm not sure what you mean...
3072170
Huh... Only with Mature filter on, but still... Nice!
3072506
I know. Linguistics is a big interest in mine, including etymology.
3072738 If it doesn't try to be serious and dramatic, I mean.
Well, I don't think I've ever come across a changeling version of the first episode before.
If I'm reading it right: Twisted Spire seems to be blaming Celestia and Luna for the prejudice against changelings correct? But the timeline given seems to indicate that they weren't even created yet when the ponies and changelings went to war with each other. That's if they really did form from the pony races coming together.
Then came to pod-pony scene. That (to me) sent this from pilot-with-a-twist story to full blown horror. Whether the changelings deserved it at first or not, they have since more than earned every bit of fear and hatred they receive. As far as I'm concerned, right now Queen Husk might be the bigger bad, but every named character so far (except for maybe Gaze) is unrepentantly evil. I've seen the pods in other stories, but it was portrayed as a bad thing, or at best good-ish if the pony involved willingly got in. There is no indication I saw that they were anything other that kidnap victims taken from their homes and families.
I think I'll wait until this is finished before reading any more to see if (hopefully) peace breaks out and both races learn to love each other and the mind-slaves are freed; or if the changeling stay as monstrous as they are now.
3072738
If you knew, then I find it odd that you didn't mention it.
What the hell is this...?
Oh myyyy!
FOLLOWED.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3072772
Mmmm... Most of the time. Kind'a like the show, where it'll get more serious the more adventure-y the episode gets. For example, the Discord-parallel arc will be semi-serious, while the Gala-parallel arc obviously won't be.
3072799
I hope you take into consideration that Changelings are predators, unlike ponies. That, I think, would excuse them from some of the things they must do to feed themselves. That said, there will be a few episodes that will slowly reveal more of the relationship Changelings and ponies have, but I wouldn't count on peace. Not for a long time, at least, as the Canterlot Wedding is a ways off...
3072863
Well, I figured anyone actually curious would look it up themselves...
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3072922
Don't think I've ever read such a fic before. I like it a lot.
I've seen several variations to the show, but not one quite like this...
~Skeeter The Lurker
3072799
It's more that the race itself felt betrayed by the godesses, since they took the forms of ponies rather than changelings, as they had predicted and believed.
As for the captives, it's more of a self-perpetuating cultural standard. They believed the only way they would get love was by taking it after they lost the love and trust of the ponies, and that practice affirmed the belief, since ponies took offense to it, thus nearly ruining any chance they had at peacefully harvesting their sustenance. Over the generations, the idea that they might be able to feed in another fashion faded out, each one passing their view of how the world worked to their offspring and solidifying the belief into their society. Before the Windigoes, the changelings probably would have found this practice to be appalling, but after 2000 or so years of feeling betrayed by the ponies, they don't see any problem with it, they do give them very pleasant dreams during their stay, and their loved ones never even know they were gone. In the eyes of a modern changeling, it's not harming anyone.
3072922
I figured with the way you worded it, most would be like "oh" and continue on, believing that it was simply a coincidence, since they trusted your statement that is was just that. I guess that wouldn't stop the truly curious, though.
3072922 Yeah, gotta agree with Grinnerz with the pod ponies. The changelings aren't exactly eliciting sympathy, ya know?
Merely the idea that they kidnap ponies and imitate them long term is bad enough. Do they ever let them out? Do they kill them eventually? I don't think you can make any rationale for the ponies ever doing anything other than fighting viciously to wipe out the changelings.
Think of how we humans would react to an alien species that trapped people in pods. Or ate people.
I think there was a movie or two about that. Humans weren't too happy about it, from my recollections.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
This fic is pretty good
but i think adding the alternate universe tag might be a good idea.
besides that keep up the good work
I really, really love this story, but I have to suggest that you put breaks in some of the dialogue. It's hard to read blocks of dialogue that are interspersed with actions, and would be much better if you hit return once in a while to prevent textwalling.
3072935
Really? I would've bet that something close enough to this has already been done... I'm sure you'd know better than me, though!
3072989
It is quite the predicament... but that's not supposed to be the focus of this story!
3073119
3073152
Except it's not AU... It's just told from a different point of view. Everything else going on with Twilight& co., Nightmare Moon (and other villains, in the future), the Elements of Harmony? Still happening.
3073219
Hmm. I could try. What's here now is... just what I do (as can be seen in my other stories), so it'd be a hard habit to break!
3073238
It's...intriguing, to say the least. Seems similar, except that ponies and changelings exist from the get go, and little bits of changes everywhere.
Pod ponies, even the causal mention, still freak me out.
And now I wonder what's this Chrysalis's reason for invading Canterlot.
even as a changling Dash is still adorable.
3073238
Actually, this is pretty original. I'm surprised nobody's done it yet, but I've also never seen it done before.
If you give me a link to the google doc, I'd be happy to go over it for you
3073280
Is that so?... ...
3073428
Heh... Problem: There is no Gdoc (yet, because I work in MS Word).
3073470
Well, if you get on Skype and send it to me... ;3
Well.
This looks like it's going to be interesting.
Also, I do not care what you say about their looks,
Pinkie PiePicture Perfect would probably transform to have a head of pink fluff, purely for the sake of3073152
Why? Nothing in the story justifies the AU tag. In fact, it seems like it's going to be an exploration on why the changelings invade in canon.
this might just be the single most original Changeling fic on the site.
WOW. you really did your research on this.
Technical terms and near perfect re-namings are everywhere.
This may not be perfect, but the large amount of effort makes up for it!
Aww, man, who does it Always have to be a Hive? Why can't it just be the Changeling Kingdom? Sorry, nothing against you, I just have a bit of a history with the concept. But tell me then, do Changelings have their own friends and family, or are they all Chrysalis' offspring here. It seems the former by the Proxy family, but I just want to clarify.
I'm definitely going to keep an eye on this, since I've been on a 'retelling the canon with changelings' project of my own. Different enough that I'll keep going with it, but this is a great take as well.
Congratulations! Your story gained a favorite!
3073480
Piccy taking on Pinkie's hair style... sounds like a good gag to use to use sometime in the future!
3073506
I do try.
3073584
Research is... my fifth love, or somewhere around there.
3073695
I chose "hive" for the same reasons I chose "tarsus", "thorax", etc. It doesn't really mean the Changelings form a hive as we know it; they do have their individual families.
3073800
Neat, and good on ya! I always feel bad whenever people comment about not continuing with their own projects because I was first...
3073806
3073878 Ah, okay, sorry, it's just that the word usually does carry some connotations when most hear it. The clarification is appreciated. Well, in that case good, I do much prefer it when Changelings are individuals with families.
3073878 Assuming "
" Stands for "Thank You", then"
".
Anyway, I felt obligated. Changelings are misused and abused in too many bad fics, I simply had to give you props for doing it right. And do it right you most certainly did, my good sir/madam/androgynous and heavenly being. If you continue to make this high quality fics, you may just force my hand to that Watch button.
I love you man. This story, it's so incredible.
Insta Like and Fave.
You have obtained my attention with this premise.
Liked, Faved and Followed!
Earth? It's called Earth now?
3074433
I don't even know you! I'm not sure this relationship is going to work...
3074617
3074688
The planet is, indeed, called Earth.
(!) [Liked, Favorited and Folllowed] *Blaze Song begins watching your every movement, except your private moments, because... That would be just down right creepy* [+1 Follower Gained]
Really good,
memecrunch.com/meme/DVN9/gentlemen-you-had-my-curiosity/image.png
I want to like this story, I really do. I can tell you've put much effort into world-building from just the introductory paragraphs. However, I find myself jarred out of the story by the tense of the story itself.
Not that it reflects on the quality of your writing. I see no blatant grammar errors or changes in tense that throw me off most fics with an intriguing premise. You've done a good job.
However, I find myself completely unable to get into the story. I guess I'm spoilt with most fiction I read being in past tense.
I don't think I'll be reading this story, but I'll leave a Like and put it in my Read Later list for now. Best of luck to you!
3071255 My money's on them being part of the advance force that invades Canterlot during the wedding. You know, with them being the Elements of Unity and all.
I'm intrigued by so many things in this story.
For one, any amount of worldbuilding is a win in my book, especially when it's this good. The bit about Celestia and Luna possibly being changelings is quite the interesting plot point, and you did a wonderful job of justifying the enmity between changelings and ponies.
The near-perfect parallels between the changeling underground and Equestria are a treat as well. Pun-tastic names aside, each of the main characters feels like a good match for her pony counterpart. (I can't even fault you for the puns when they're this well thought out - and it seems like this chapter was meant to knock out all of those "I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE" moments in one fell swoop, which I definitely appreciate.)
And then some part of me giggles every time I see the word "everyling". So there's a win for you.
You've earned my like and fave. Keep this up!
Well this is...odd.
3075037
Eep!... How private is "private?
3075464
Erk... Guh, well... It's not like I've never heard this before... Thank you anyway.
3075583
You know, when all the "-ling" words started to be used in fics (and sometimes elsewhere) soon after the wedding episodes, I slightly despised them, at least to the point I couldn't read any story that used them, but now-! Well, what I think now should be obvious enough!
3075673
How so?
I keep reading Twisted Spare as Twilight Sparkle.
You really like writing changeling stories, don't you?
Honestly, imprisoning an enemy inside your own body sounds like the worst idea ever. As far as we know, Chrysalis had no particular reason to even keep Husk around in the first place.
So the parallel to the 'Elements used, villain defeated' scene is going to be... interesting. Right now, I'm imagining a Chrysalis with multiple personalities...
Oh, and there's that bit about nega-changelings that feed off hatred and fear. Sounds fun.
The basic premise is interesting. But it might be a good idea to diverge further from the Pony episodes because otherwise this is a story we've all watched before with changelings instead of ponies. Part of the fun of reading a story is anticipating unexpected twists and turns and wondering what will happen next. If we already Know with a capital 'K' what's going to happen next then what's the surprise?
Pod ponies don't win much sympathy for the changelings. Yes, I understand that they're predators. But complaining that no one likes you when you're kidnapping ponies from their homes is kind of silly. As per the Italics world building the changelings were given a choice between suffering to do the right thing and taking the path of evil thus destroying any real chance of reconciling with ponies. They went with the pod ponies option.
Some of the descriptions seem a little awkward to me. The paragraph describing the city stood out in particular, so I'll grab a sentence from there as an example.
The parenthetical statement and comma splice here makes for an uncomfortable flow in the sentence. It probably wouldn't be a terrible idea to separate it out into two separate sentences regarding stone and not-wax, respectively. Or you could just nail the whole thing with a less-is-more style.
Yeah, technically resin is only made by plants, not animals. But I figure if James Cameron can get away with using it to describe organic building materials in Aliens you could use it here.
Anywho! Good luck with your story.