WARNING: Names have been altered to protect the innocent. For the convenience of our anonymous confessors, we have turned out all the lights and have altered their voice.
Confessions are to be told in confidence... Without anyone else being around to hear them. It's a way of getting something off your chest... Too bad confessions make for good comedy.
"We deal with all kinds of ponies here. From crazy, to just a pony wanting to find someone to tell a story to. We listen... Then sell the tapes. It's a dirty business, but it's OUR business to sell their business. It's a business-business."
Primarily told in alternating POVs.
Chapters (8)
My Luna... Sweet mistress of the night...
Yes!
You did not just...
Oh Twiligh, you so cray cray.
So... This is what you spent the last few on?
Not bad so far!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh, poor Luna... Over shadowed by the sister...
~Skeeter The Lurker
...Well.
I... Well. Hmm.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh god... That was tooooo good.
~Skeeter The Lurker
You know... You should keep this around and add to it whenever the mood strikes.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Rainbow Dash? It looks so natural though, I would have never thought your mane colors were fake.
3172469>>3172397>>3172403>>3172390 Heh-heh-heh... Now who said it was them?
I always knew that wasn't her real hair color
I must read this!
Give me a few minutes to finish my thing...
3172530 Who're you talking about?
3172480 Yeah really Can't everyone tell the first one is Sweetie Belle always under her sister. The second one is Rarity and the third one is Celestia.
Would who dislike this amazing story.
THEY MUST BE PUINSHED
3172607 Could be.
3172607
Heh, that puts quite an amusing spin on the previous confessions.
~pulls out my blue suit and red tie~ Be prepaired to lose your pants to my suing skills!
gimmegimmegames.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/phoenix_wright_news1.jpg
Have my thumbs up please!
Nice nickname by the way.
This goes in my favorites list!
No wonder she late for work so often, redyeing takes forever.
You choose one of the biggest backstabers for The RD, Element of loyalty, really?
3172480
Well the name 'Satellite' was dead giveaway of her identity. Pretty big hint.
I want to be her stallion.
(As well as a thousand other NLR boys.)
3172469
I think she used forever lasting dye, so it looks real and stuff
Eh lack of puns but oh well. Hilarious nonetheless.
Wish Wub would come by here, my driveway is just full of weeds along the edges.
Yay, you decided to continue it!
Pffffttttt.
Oh, Vinyl... I got nothing.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Smiling. That's all I really have to say or this chapter.
ha!
Wow, these are all pretty petty so far. Very good turnaround. Why would the ponies of canon!Equestria have anything really bad to hide?
For the record, though, I gotta say the premise still creeps me out. The difference between all those situations is informed consent. Guardians have the legal right to know what their children do, and reality shows have permission from their stars to leak what they say and do. I doubt any lawyer in the world could protect the Confessions agency
3175897 They have a lawyer stupid enough to protect them.
Octavia we all know it is you
Why does everyone think RD's mane is dyed? I know this is just a comedy fic, but the sheer number of fics where it turns out Dash dyes her mane or something really pushes my buttons in all the wrong ways.
3178253 I know, right? It's the lazy man's joke.
So, Luna wishes to move out from under her sister's shadow. Understandable.
RD apparently dyes her mane. FFFFFFFFFFFwallpaperswala.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/nuclear_mushroom_cloud.jpeg
Twi never passed kindergarten. It's a bonus thing anyway, so who cares?
And everyone's favorite dubstep DJ apparently snorts lines of powdered weeds. Ummmm, OK?
Something tells me these pony's aren't gonna be revealing any groundbreaking news any time soon.
3178273 It's at the point where, when I'm evaluating a serious story, one of the questions I ask myself is: "Does Rainbow Dash dye her mane in this story?"
THAT SHOULD NOT BE A THING.
3178302 I've never asked that question because it's not my business. Personally, I don't think she does. That's why I've never implied it in any stories except for Know Your Mare; which thrives on lies.
poor Scootaloo...
Well shit, I come home after school to see that this story had updated.
Then, I read this.
WHY OVERLORD!?
3180775
Scootaloo - or Fluttershy?
Rainbow Dash?
...come to think of it, are there any pegasi on the show whose parents we've seen alive in the present? The only one I can think of is Pound Cake...
3180775
You think it´s Scootaloo? I think it´s Fluttershy, don´t ask me why.
3180856
pegasi parents stay in cloudsdale, fluttershy is the type of Pegasus that likes the ground, which to other pegasi is unnatural
Damn.
This was... Not even going to guess...
~Skeeter The Lurker
That was mean. Also, the whole derailing a train thing is a myth. Snopes says so
3180992 That's the joke.
Wow, Flinx...dark shit, dude
Heh, the word count is 1337
Poor Flutters...
if ya have nothing to confess applejack, why go to the confession room?