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Set in the MLP Comic-verse, as well as the Triple-D (The Diva, the Dray, and the Divebomber) universe.
Hayseed Turniptruck has just been told that Rarity's got a fiance. While that might not be quite true, the truth is even more disheartening!
Fortunately, his good friends Fancy and Fleur are there to help pick him up and dust himself off... no strings attached.
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I'd love to get some feedback on this; I'm not sure about the perspective, honestly, or if I should encourage the muses to stick around, so some feedback on those subjects in particular would be real handy!
Having read the mini-story at the end of Rarity's micro-series installment is also strongly recommended, forgot to put that in the description.
Oh, and one last thing....
INB4 REGIDAR AND SKEETER!
HAH!
3161686
Man, for reference.
At least... the last time I checked.
*checks*
Yep! Everything accounted for, and four new patients for PTSD therapy!
Anywho! Glad you liked. I assume, then, that you might care for a bit more? It's not necessarily quite the story you were hoping for at the beginning.....
I thought I was going to like this story but it completely died for me when you shipped AJ and Rarity.
3164040
Sorry dude. They're an item (along with Rainbow Dash) in the Triple-D universe, and *heavily* hinted at in the comic-verse, so I left 'em in here. It's not a major part of the story, but I can understand.
A wonderful opening to story, or even just a stand alone by itself if you decide to leave it at that. Your prose and dialog skills are very good. You blend the two together very well, particularly Hayseed's thoughts as they fit into the narrative. I have to admit, I would like to see how this would play out.
A thumbs up for sure!
more...please...make more
I guess I'll be the first comment after a long period of silence, I love the story and anything with non canon characters. I have to admit though, I had no clue who hayseed was until I kinda looked him up and then I was like, oooohh.
But awesome story and I would like to see another chapter one day to.
3711442
Actually, Hayseed's perfectly canon, he's just not as detailed. :)
He appeared in Sweet Elite in the show, and his mini-story in Rarity's Micro-Series comic filled in the "secretly a wealthy businessman with a penchant for eating his own hooves around Rarity" part.
3711540 Oh.
Well, I never read any of the comics, lol
3711587
That's okay. You're not a bad brony, you just made a bad decision.
Seriously, I do recommend the comics. As for future chapters... I've got ideas, but I've got other projects taking priority at the moment.
3711678 Ok, I'll start looking in to them, are their any that you would recommend .
Well, the Rarity Micro-Series issue has the Hayseed mini-story that I mentioned.
Issued 1-8 are two rather epic storylines worthy of 2-parter episodes, and will introduce you to the tone of the comic, while explaining a LOT of fics you might find, especially 5-8.
And 11-12 cover the backstory of Cadance and Shining Armor meeting in the most 80's-tastic, fabulous way EVER.
The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group has reviewed your story! Hopefully, it will help you in your endeavors.