• Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen April 14th

Featherprop


Just your average flying pony with a little more to carry than his own wings can handle

E

When Helicity's research on weather is torn apart by a professor, Featherprop decides to set up a surprise for her birthday. With the help of some Wonderbolts, a few bits of cloud, and a stack of pies, he wants to give her a chance to try the ideas she believes in.

When he springs the surprise, she takes a chance, but will the results be worth the risk? There's danger in storms, and even ponies who know what they're doing get caught unawares sometimes.

Yes yes, I know, there's OCs, but she's still cute, at least! Anyway, you should all read this story and then go wish Helicity (@helicityponi, Helicity here) a happy birthday, 'cause I wrote it for her. There's a little bit of romance, but nothing beyond some kissing. Come on, everyone's seen kissing, right?

If anyone sees typos or other errors, please point 'em out- I went past my deadline on this and I'm ashamed to say I didn't edit as closely as I'd like to.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Dat ending. Awww... :heart:

What a nice little story. I was sent here by a Mister Cynewulf and was not disappointed. :twilightsmile:

And since you asked, here are the errors I found:

and let loose a piercing whistle..

Extra period here.

He smiled and cut off her protests with a hoof. “No, wait. Do you remember your thesis?”

Extra spaces throughout this passage.

The little ones were too weak to account for the mesoscale effects..”

Extra period again here.

Though she couldnt’ see him,

Incorrectly place apostrophe.

She began to study the clouds ahead of her, frowning as she imagined one clump looked just like Dr. Galeside.

"Looked" should be “looking” to keep the same tense.

Featherprop was far from the fastest pony, andHelicity was moving fast enough to rival almost anypony he’d met

Space needed after "and."

Making a discovery was one thing, but turning into a scientific paper was something completely different. with what would be involved in turning her intuitive discovery .

Several errors here.

I enjoyed the story, and I hope whoever's birthday it is, has a FANTASTIC birthday.

3140545

Thank ya muchly for being so thorough!! I'm glad you liked it!

3141010 It's what I'm here for. :eeyup:

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