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  • Monday
    ah, the wonders of procrastination

    walking dead season 4 on netflix.

    attending shows with fellow entertainers.

    practicing magic.

    visting my folks.

    super smash bros... final fantasy 6... mario galaxy...

    learning how to make balloon animals.

    what am i missing?

    ...oh, right, writing. i'll get back to that, but after walking dead.

    3 comments · 21 views
  • 1w, 5d
    Clearing the Air (So to Speak)

    I don't know if it was my timing or if it's just because my styl of humor really is that tasteless, but my last blog post got people sympathizing with me over a breakup that I never actually had. And I didn't lose my job or become estranged from my family, either. The entirety of the last blog was meant purely as a joke.

    I mean, I know I just got off one hell of a train ride over the past few months, but that's kinda how I deal with that noise: pointing and laughing.

    ...Besides all that, the joke was about how addicting the new Smash Bros is. Can't wait for the Wii U version! If anybody wants my Friend Code, I'd be happy to share it over a PM. I need more people to play with because comeonohmygodthisgameissofuckinggood

    5 comments · 63 views
  • 1w, 6d
    How to Fuck Up Your Life in Ten Easy Steps

    [Step 1] Be me.

    [Step 2] Buy Smash Bros on 3DS.

    [Steps 3-9] Keep playing it every day until your girlfriend leaves you and you lose your job and your family no longer wants anything to do with you.

    [Step 10] Make a short, snarky blog about it. Go back to playing Smash Bros.

    13 comments · 86 views
  • 3w, 5d
    coming back together

    I want to thank everyone who sent me emails, PMs, and comments supporting me in the wake of my grandfather's death. I can't believe so many people, people I've never even seen in person, would go to these lengths just to let me know that I'm in their prayers.

    Now obviously, I'm not going to keep posting about my Paw Paw's death, but I'm still reeling from it. My battle with depression and financial problems in the previous months before choked my creativity to the point where my output trickled down to nothing. I don't think I've updated anything in months, and the most I've written is maybe a couple of paragraphs.

    But that doesn't mean this account is going dead. This means I'm going to pick up the pieces and try again.

    For starters, I'm thinking of putting more of my stories on Fanfic.net, possibly even Deviantart (though honestly I kinda dread the place). Let me know if you have any advice to give in that area -- I don't wanna jump in and get in over my head. I've had enough of that kind of shit IRL, thank you very much.

    As far as my stories go, you'll be pleased that I just finished jotting down the story outline for not one, but two story arcs in Equestrylvania Adventure: one in which Twilight meets Charlotte's mentor, and another which sees the return of easily one of my most favorite Castlevania villains, as well as a dream team-up. I'm using these two to buy me some more time for EqV II (Since I made the mistake of starting that story without a clear indication of where to go. I'm just as lost as RD is right now!). Hopefully, I'll be able to straighten out what I wanna do with EqV II in time for Christmas (And I already have some awesome ideas I wanna use for it... you know, after I rejected quite a few other ideas I wanted to use). So throughout October and November, at least expect the occasional Adventure update. These two arcs are both two-parters, so it shouldn't take me too much effort.

    I'm planning also to write some essay blogs on how to produce decent fiction. I see my friends on this site doing that kind of thing all the time, and I feel my two cents are worth something. Of course, it's only two cents, but hey.

    Also! Before I forget, even though my precious, precious time has become even more precious, I'm working on yet another MLP crossover. Maybe I'll even produce some cover art for it finally. As for what the crossover IS, let's just say it's really Halloween-appropriate.

    Well, I'm done hammering these keys. Ironically, this is the most writing I've done in a week. Love you guys very much, without you this account wouldn't mean anything, God bless.

    2 comments · 64 views
  • 4w, 4d
    regrets

    I've been distraught over it all day and wondering if I should even mention it here on this site. I keep battling between whether to mention my private life here on Fimfic, but last blog post helped me to realize I have friends here. So I'll bring this open and get this off my chest.

    At 1:48 this morning, my grandfather died. At 1:48 this morning, on my grandmother's birthday, my whole family lost one of our most influential and beautiful members. At 1:48 this morning, some of the best summers of my childhood spent at my grandparents' house listening to his stories about his days in the navy and playing board games and helping him tend animals... all these rang louder than church bells in my mind. All these crashed down on me like a wave. I'm devastated.

    And for once I'm left speechless.

    7 comments · 68 views
  • ...
 103
 1,130

Travis Touchdown is an otaku. His interests include anime, pro wrestling, and killing people.

His interests do not include ponies.

So when one of his favorite anime of all time ("Super Gundoll Puzzle Mustard") gets preempted by My Little Pony, he decides he's had enough of the brony cultural osmosis.

Without a second thought, Travis dusts off the old beam katana and heads right for Equestria to put an end to ponies. He trusts his Force and heads for the Garden of Madness!


A very special thanks to my editor/co-conspirator Bookish Delight. Without her, this story would amount to doodly-squat... which is less than nothing, in case anyone's curious.

First Published
28th Aug 2013
Last Modified
13th Oct 2014
#1 · 60w, 18h ago · 4 · · Prologue ·

Oh Travis you silly goose. Also 1 dislike as soon as it came out. That is nonsense. I really like this.

#2 · 60w, 18h ago · 5 · · Prologue ·

Sweet Cadance, that cover. It's perfect.

Hey, folks, co-conspirator here! :heart: At first glance it may look like I'm venturing out of my comfort zone -- and maybe I am a bit -- but those of you out there who do follow me know I love my stylish character-action!

After talking to Fife about what his (awesome) ambitions for this project were, I decided to jump on board, wanting to help make sure this is as fun and faithful a crossover as possible -- and looking at the advance notes for the story, I can assure anyone who gives this a shot that they're in for one hell of a party!

We have plans. :pinkiehappy: Enjoy!

#3 · 60w, 17h ago · 5 · · Prologue ·

prepare for the butthurt brigade.

#4 · 60w, 17h ago · 3 · · Prologue ·

OH MY CTHULHU YES

I LOVE IT

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

#5 · 60w, 17h ago · 2 · · Prologue ·

>>3120286 My body is ready for the butthurt brigade.

#6 · 60w, 17h ago · 3 · · Prologue ·

>>3120286

I'M READY TO KICK SOME ASS

#8 · 60w, 16h ago · · · Prologue ·

>>3120286 And get ready for the Asshole Army.

#9 · 60w, 15h ago · · · Prologue ·

Trollfic spotted. Grammatically correct. Spelling is impeccable. Punctuation is spot on.

What sorcery is this!?

Now make it funny for me please. Also, I hope that the action and following chapters are paced well.

Have a green thumb.

#10 · 60w, 15h ago · · · Prologue ·

Oh sweet jesus.  This is gonna be a fun one.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#11 · 60w, 13h ago · · · Prologue ·

>>3120801

its a suda51 characters... for it to be paced well and characterised well, you'd have to ignore all of the character's established canon and merely parody it instead.

to replicate the fumbling mess suda51 calls story telling would be disastrous.

#12 · 60w, 12h ago · · · Prologue ·

This story, it's...it's...moe

#13 · 60w, 11h ago · · · Prologue ·

This captures everything I love about No More Heroes, here's hoping he gets some badass finishers on the Mane 6 and possibly the Princesses

#14 · 60w, 11h ago · · · Prologue ·

mlp meets nmh. this could go several diffrent ways but no matter what direction it goes there will be a bloody mess afterwards.  (also the irony of an otaku like Travis hating on mlp is hilarious when you think about it)

#15 · 60w, 7h ago · · · Prologue ·

You know, looking at Travis has reminded me of another anti hero who is hilarious yet bad ass at the same time.  So question for anyone who comes across this post:  Who would win in a fight?  Travis Touchdown 'The Crownless King' or Deadpool 'The Merc with a Mouth'?

#17 · 59w, 6d ago · · 1 · Prologue ·

>>3122717Probably Deadpool because Travis wouldn't be able to keep him down, plus we all know how well he handles teleporting foes *CoughJasperBattJr.Cough*

#18 · 59w, 6d ago · · 1 · Prologue ·

>>3122867... he is you know

#19 · 59w, 5d ago · · · Prologue ·

And...here we go.

#20 · 58w, 6d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

And then Rarifags lost it.

#21 · 58w, 6d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

Wait. If here is two halves of Rarity, then it means she gonna make herself into two cyberselves, like New Destroymen.

Well, Rarifags still lost it.

Comment posted by Lobo Argost deleted at 10:10pm on the 5th of September, 2013
#23 · 58w, 6d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

Whoa, all this time, and I haven't even joined the comments on my own work! Let's dive right in.

>>3120232

Also 1 dislike as soon as it came out. That is nonsense.

I'm assuming it's because people think it's a trollfic. "Hark! I doth see before me now, a scripture of dubious origin. Within it contained is a preposterous literature, meant, perchance, to seek, to obtain my attention in ways considered most cheeky. I shan't reward such debauchery! Down, thumb! Down! And may it teach this author well, to not post such refuse upon these noble webs!"

>>3120250

And none of it could be possible without your talent for zeroing in on something pointless and stupid, that I may strike it down. :rainbowdetermined2:

>>3120286

Let 'em whine. :moustache:

>>3121877

Stick around. Each confrontation against the Mane Six is gonna blow your pants off. :rainbowwild:

>>3121947

(also the irony of an otaku like Travis hating on mlp is hilarious when you think about it)

That's actually kind of my point with Travis. He's unintentionally being a huge hypocrite. He's doing this whole assassination run because he thinks ponies have ruined otakudom forever, without actually realizing that the kinds of things most nerds are into are ridiculous anyway.

>>3122717

I'd have to say... Probably Travis. The fact is, neither of them can actually "die" -- Deadpool has his healing factor, but Travis is immortal, as proven by how much punishment he can survive. Deadpool might be able to teleport, but remember that his teleportation powers tend to malfunction when he attempts three teleports in a row.

All in all, though, that's a fight I'd pay moneys to see. :twilightsheepish:

>>3161064

Why is she Rarifags all of a sudden? :duck: Rarity is best pony. :raritywink:


I thank all of you for your continued support of this... unusual fanfic I've created. If you enjoyed this one, please check out some of the other fics I've written in the sidebar! That is, uh, if you don't mind... :fluttershysad:

#24 · 58w, 6d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

I thought I was done with that bullshit since beating that Jasper Batt punk!

That is the least amount of swears I've ever seen in a sentence talking about that motherfucking Jasper Batt Jr bitch.

#26 · 58w, 2d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

This is one of the most badass fictions I have ever read :pinkiehappy:

I can only imagine what the battle against pinkie will be like.

I can't wait.

#27 · 56w, 4h ago · 1 · 2 · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

A premise like this would usually get made into a trollfic. Or some haters circlejerk.

This story is not like that at all. It could pander to them, maybe, but the glorious truth is, that it's awesome, and it has people waiting for more. I already knew you were the shit when you started Tiger and Demon. But this was an awesome little find.

The fun part would be if someone made an animation for this, and I showed it to my pony-hating friends and I told them Rarity could actually do the shit she did in this story.

(Personally though, as a fan, here's to hopefully seeing Travis get his ass kicked hard by RD.)

Good shit baby. Update when you can.

#28 · 55w, 5d ago · · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

>>3260772

I already knew you were the shit when you started Tiger and Demon.

You have no idea how much you brightened my day by posting this. Here I was, thinking nobody cared about that story! I'm actually beavering away at the final installment to its current arc and planning out the third arc. You can finally expect another T&D coming soon.

#29 · 55w, 4d ago · 1 · · Side-Job Time! ·

The only thing I could think of was "oooohhhh shit" by the time Sweetie Belle showed up. But that's SO much in the spirit of NMH there, man! The whole theme of revenge, I can almost taste it! It's hilarious how almost all of Travis' character development just kinda backfires since you set this after Desperate Struggle, but at the very least, he's got enough heart to help her possible future enemy along in this dark time.

Now if he puts his hands on Twilight, I got no bets on him for when Shining Armor, Luna, or Celestia come for that ass. A beam katana won't stop him from getting fucked up by an alicorn or a member of Twilight's family.

#30 · 55w, 4d ago · 4 · · Side-Job Time! ·

It turned out the next day, much to Travis’ great surprise, that in Equestria there were actually consequences to killing people.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!

#31 · 55w, 4d ago · · · Side-Job Time! ·

>>3271252

It's hilarious how almost all of Travis' character development just kinda backfires since you set this after Desperate Struggle, but at the very least, he's got enough heart to help her possible future enemy along in this dark time.

Well, Travis may have seen some character development in Desperate Struggle... but the thing is, in real life, we often have to be reminded of the lessons we've already learned. We're not supposed to act uppity to people who ask us questions. We're not supposed to be jerks. But we keep right on being jerks anyway.

So basically, this is a textbook case of Aesop Amnesia.

#32 · 55w, 4d ago · · · Side-Job Time! ·

>>3271252>>3271367

Besides, if Revengeance can do it... :rainbowlaugh:

#33 · 53w, 4d ago · 2 · · Pony Battle! (VS Rarity) ·

If Rarity gave him that much of a fight, Twilight would reduce him to a paste in seconds, would not want to be Tavis when that fight starts. :twilightangry2:

This story may not be huge on detail, but that just helps it fit the tone of the game even better, the "story" is just an excuse for awesome battles and witty dialog.

#34 · 53w, 4d ago · · · Side-Job Time! ·

That was deeper then I was expecting of a fic featuring a alicorn statue ridding Rarity getting cut in half in the first 10K words, almost makes one wonder if Travis is going to learn about the family's of each of the main six after he is done and then basically be dead inside forever.  I wonder how bad that seen would have made him feel if he knew he had caused it.

Edit: I would also like you to note that that single scene managed to portray a more realistic reaction to the death of a loved one then 90% of storys that focus their entire efforts around doing so.

#35 · 51w, 2d ago · 1 · · To the Skies! ·

What a twist!  Hard to believe Lightning Dust would snap like that but like Travis said: 'These ponies are fucked up'

#36 · 51w, 2d ago · · · To the Skies! ·

Well that was unexpected.

>>3338531

Don't worry. In the end Celestia gonna resurrect everyone and Travis gonna give up.

Or he gonna get classical boss rush.

Magnificent:pinkiecrazy:

Jesus Christ this is awesome. I actually want to play this game. I can very clearly see these being boss fights with epic finishers.

Can't wait for Pinkie's battle. I bet, under circumstances like these, she'll be absolutely terrifying....

>>3750513

I think you'll like what I have planned for Pinkie. As for the games, WHY HAVEN'T YOU PLAYED THEM GO DO IT.

....think my problem with this is my problem with most stories like this.................

the regal ones would have fucking KILLED his ass immediately. sorry dude, but you are kinda out of luck fighting someone who can easily punch through a castle wall with as simple spell.

:duck: I'm not liking this 1 bit at all.

>>3807538

Yeah, just like that one time when Discord broke free and Celestia totally put him back to stone all by herself? Or maybe that time Celestia totally took on Queen Chrysalis that at the wedding, or that time Celestia and Luna totally freed themselves from those plunder roots. Or how about that time Celestia, Luna, and Cadance went through that mirror to stop an errant student of hers from wreaking havoc instead of sending Twilight all by herself?

I think you're giving the Royal Sisters a little too much credit. Besides, they can't find Travis -- he's usually wearing his Awesome Disguise (tm)!

And even if they DID find him... he'd probably just kick their asses.

>>3807609

Well, Travis IS the Villain Protagonist. Things are gonna get a little worse before they get better.

>>3807685 :flutterrage: I still want to KILL Travis!!!! I hate him.

>>3807538

Travis is notoriously very difficult to kill. The amount of things he's survived in the cutscenes, ready to start the fight at full health, it's a lot. And then being punched out a window is instant death, and it's going to happen a lot JASPER!

Shinobu's here now, alright, when does Henry get his slice of the action? Or will he be sitting this one out because he's "got standards, for fuck's sake"?

#48 · 39w, 4d ago · · · To the Fashion Show! ·

Two words: Magic. Aneurysm.

>>3807756

Henry? Who knows? Maybe we'll see some other NMH characters show up...

>>3807685 and you seem to be forgetting the factor of the equistrai kingdom lasting and thriving for a full thosuand years without use of the elements of harmony and with more demonic threats than the plans of hell. So how do you explain the land lasting this long if Celestia was some weakling? and i repeat, the elements of harmony obviosuly were not utilized in that entire time. She defended equistria herself more than likely. and likelyhood of there being no chrysalis wannabees or discord like threats appearing in the span of a millenium is low.

also the examples you use are a chaos beast that took both herself and luna to fight to a stalemate (if discord was truly more powerful than both of them, he would not have needed the plunder seeds to steal the Tree's power to bind them, not to mention that would be less fun and more annoying). also, though everyone and their grandmother seems to edit this part of the episode whenver they watch it, Chrysalis herself admitted she was not normally nearly powerful enough to defeat celestia. it was onyl because of leeching off Shining's deep love for cadance that she pulled it off, and i have doubts she could have done it a second time if luna attacked next.

also evne then, all this guy has is laser. pretty sure it lacks the output to block blasts that pierce through rock.

going back to the sisters, i do believe the brief if aggressive duel between nightmare moon and celestia shows why the sistesr prefer to stand back. it was a defensive battle and luna destroyed a large amount of their own castle without even using any major spells. just think how much would have reimained if celestia was on the offensive as well. twilight and her friends both act as the least violent method, and often the best method. even a fight agaisnt sombra would have caused massive damage more than likely.

basically it is what happens when two powerful beigns have conflict. all around them i harmed if not obliterated.

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