Grand Theft Army Night
“Twenty thousand bits,” Roarke murmured as she leaned casually against the rustic store’s counter. “That’s not exactly chump change.” Her lenses pistoned in and out as she spoke in an icy tone, “I only passed it over because I had a bunch more and smaller gigs that were paying my keep over the mountains of Ledomare.”
Clipper gulped, his bumpy body beginning to tremble as his mule eyes darted left and right across the store.
“After all, it’s quite an expense to travel all the way here,” Roarke said as she picked up a cartridge of manabullets and turned the thing over in the metal crook of her hoof. “Especially for a carcass as sniveling and smelly as yours. I was just giving you an average bounty scale, by the way. The Sky Foxes were wanting thirty five grand for your head. Can you believe that? Furry little bastards probably chase their tails around all the time because they think they’re made of gold. Too bad all things aren’t.”
“So, just are you here for…?” Clipper stealthily slid back, his right forelimb reaching beneath a wooden stool.
“Sight seeing, really,” Roarke said. “For instance, I’m seeing you, and it’s a sorry sight. I’m surprised somepony hasn’t done something to clean this corner of the crudhole clean. With you dealing weapons to all sordid interests, you’re quite the boil on this city’s flying buttocks, y’know?”
“I’m important to many customers,” Clipper said, sneering. His hoof made contact with something cold and metal beneath the stool’s seat. “If you take my head, there’s gonna be a horrible vacuum here and you know it. So don’t pretend to be concerned over the grand picture, ya metal vomit bucket.”
“If by a horrible vacuum, you’re admitting how much you suck, then I’m inclined to agree.” Roarke tilted her head aside. “By all means, Clipper, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t turn you in and become twenty thousand bits richer overnight.”
The mule smirked. “I’ll give you six.” Snarling, he snatched the metal weapon. In a flash, he was aiming a metal revolver down the pony’s muzzle.
Roarke spun.
Clipper got one shot off.
Roarke dodged the bullet, all the while launching her prehensile tail out from her suit. The air hummed with magnetic energy.
Several items atop the seller’s counter shifted forward. With a gasp, Clipper lunged forward, dragged through the air by the revolver. At last, he lost his grip of the weapon.
It flew through the shop and landed against the end of Roarke’s glowing tail with a clank. She retracted her tail, bucked her rear hooves, and snatched the gun in the crook of her hoof. “Hmmm…” She calmly gazed at the thing, fitting her metal horseshoe through the large trigger mechanism. “The blast sounded clean. It’s good to know you scrub the barrel so well between uses.” There was a menacing glint to her lenses as she then aimed the weapon at him. “How would like a new hole of your own? I doubt very much anypony can clean it quite so well.”
“Look… I-I’m sorry!” Clipper sat back on his haunches, stretching his forelimbs towards the rickety ceiling. “You say pirates are gunning for me?! There are three times as many whackjobs out there who would skin me alive if I threw my business away overnight!” He gulped. “Please, you gotta spare me! There’s more to this than just one lousy mule!”
“I’m well acquainted with the big picture, you talking dollop of your mother’s filth,” Roarke hissed. “You’re not worth the piss that’s running down your leg. So what if you could earn me a couple thousand bits? I could sneeze on the same lousy fortune that you’d croak on.”
“Then just what is th-this?!” Clipper stammered, his muzzle covered in sweat. “Homicide?! Sadism?! Petty revenge?!”
“It could be a little of all three…” Roarke tilted her head up. “Or…”
“What?! Please!” Clipper gulped and leaned forward. “I’ll do anything!”
“Maybe… just maybe…” Roarke gestured towards the plethora of weapons exposed and hidden around the shop. “You’d be willing to part with your high tech weaponry.”
The mule glanced at the shop, blinked, and looked forlornly at her.
She cocked the gun and aimed it between his eyes. “For free.”
“Hmmmmm…” Josho smirked as he laid his cards down across the tavern table. “I fold.”
“Heh…” Another stallion smirked as he held out his hoof.
Several groans alighted the table.
The old soldier reached in and collected his earnings. “Well, at least one of you has learned some caution through the years.”
“A nasty habit that I hope to kick before I roll over and call it quits,” Josho said.
“I hear ya.”
“You know…” A stallion squinted across the table at the obese pony. “For a moment there, I thought you were just talking crap in order to swindled us out of some bits. But you’re for legit, aren’t ya?”
“I’m not a recovering alcoholic because I did insurance for a living.” Josho took a deep breath. “Let’s say that the only reason I’m not wearing one of those fruity little berets today is because the army had a disagreement with me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“My C.O. threw me over a cliff.”
“Pffft. Lucky.”
“I know, right?” Josho sipped another glass of root beer, swallowed, and leaned over the card game. “So, then, it’s not just a nasty rumor? The Ledomaritan front is retreating?”
A stallion sighed and muttered, “I had a friend who was a surviving member of the Eastern Brigade before sky pirates did him in. He told me about how the Xonans were pushing from all angles. The entire campaign was a continuous retreat, with the forces of Ledo burning every resource left and right. I mean, it’s not like there’s any part of that continent that hasn’t been blown to ashes already. The only thing of value is which nation gets to stick its flag into it. Right now, the Xonans have been doing all the flag-sticking, but Ledomare is dedicated to burning away all the topsoil so that there’s nothing to stick it in.”
“That’s what she said,” Josho belched. The others laughed, and he continued, “So, then, how come the entire front hasn’t buckled?”
“Word is that the main army is holding up at a point about fifty miles north of the Sea of Shards.”
“Oh?” Josho blinked. “I remember years ago when we had advanced beyond the port city of Riverdowns.”
“That town’s a frickin’ crater now.”
“You don’t say.”
“Mmmm… And there’s some sport fifty miles north that Ledo is not giving up,” a stallion said.
“More like one stallion,” another grunted. “One general-ian Executive Enforcer--is holding his ground, at the cost of many… many lives.”
Another stallion spat on the tavern floor, frowning. “May the Spark melt his balls off…”
“Has he gone rogue?” Josho’s brow furrowed. “I know the war turns the best and worst of us into stupid heroes.”
“He’s getting an influx of resources, so obviously the Council of Ledo is hoofing him weapons to blow up more mountains with. But the Xonans have almost blockaded his army three times. They’re hanging by a thread. I don’t care how many shells they have to dish out on those tattooed flankmunchers; they’re in deep manure and they know it.”
“Who’s the Executive Enforcer?” Josho asked. “Sounds like a young idiot.”
“Quite the opposite,” another stallion said. “Word is that he’s an old fogey. Like us. Makes you wonder why he doesn’t know any better.”
“His name is… is…” A graying stallion rubbed his balding scalp. He shuddered. “Sector… Secular…”
Josho’s brow furrowed. “Seclorum.”
“Yes!” Another pounded the table and pointed. “Exactly--” His words trailed off as he and the other stallions saw the pale expression on Josho’s face. “Do… do you know this pig clopper?”
Josho gulped and breathed out, “Yeah. You could say that.”
“That’s unfortunate.”
“I’ve known plenty of jerks in my career.”
“I mean… it’s unfortunate you didn’t pop a manabullet into the guy’s head when you had the chance,” another stallion replied, giving Josho a dull glare. “He’s holed out there in the jaws of death, and he doesn’t care how many stallions join him in the bloody mess. I tell you, if he just withdrew from that Spark-forsaken choke point, then maybe Ledomare would still stand a chance in this war.” He spat out the side of his muzzle. “Not like I care at this point…”
“He and I…” Josho shifted where he sat. “Well, it’s complicated.”
“I would hope so. You’re here and he’s there.” A stallion smirked. “One of you did right by yourself.”
Josho ran a hoof through his graying mane and shuddered. “More like one of us got lucky…” He gulped. “We met the right ponies at the right time…”
“Heh, then I suggest you stick where you are. This ain’t no retirement home.” A stallion gestured towards the run-down, slovenly interior of the tavern. “Don’t end up an old ghost like us.”
“Speaking of old ghosts…” One of the stallions snickered and pointed across the way. “There’s old Oppy now.”
“‘Oppy?’” Josho made a face, turning to look.
“Oporst,” a stallion clarified, pointing towards where a skinny, frail specimen of a unicorn sat before a tall bottle of rum. The equine was severely rattled, and it took both forelimbs the steady the glass long enough to pour it down his emaciated throat. “He used to hang out with us. But something in him… snapped. I guess he got one too many flashbacks after one or two pirate sieges a few months back. He remembers stuff more vividly than the rest of us.”
“You don’t say…?” Josho remarked.
“Yeah. He may not look it, but he’s at least two decades younger than the most spry of us.” A stallion shuffled through his cards as he spoke, “Supposedly he was part of the Blue Spear campaign.”
Josho’s ears twitched. He turned and glanced at the others. “Blue Spear, huh?”
“Did you serve in it?”
“Hell, no,” the obese stallion retorted. “That was well after I was relegated to guard duty.”
“Lucky you,” a stallion muttered. “Barely five percent of the soldiers survived the failed invasion. Oporst is one in a million. He likely saw many Xonans--both inside and out--but mostly their insides.”
Josho’s nostrils flared as he stared at the basket case from afar. “Does he talk?”
“Only after trying to bite your jugular for so much as breathing on him.” One of the stallions heartlessly chuckled. “You seem awfully chatted, stranger. But I wouldn’t give it a shot with him. You’ve got years left to enjoy the fruits of life.” He muttered, “Wherever the hell they may be.”
Josho nodded slowly. He turned towards the group and smiled. “I’ve shot at a rainbow colored pegasus and swapped leylines with a magical zebra.” He stood up, his chair scraping across the tavern floor. “I think I’ve lived enough…”
“Heh… Your funeral, buddy.”
As Josho trotted over towards Oporst’s table, he muttered, “I hardly deserve one.”
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Roarke is a badass.
And PTSD is a bitch.
Wasn't Seclorum in Innavedr? Or am I high?
Here's an oldie but goldie: run in place for five minutes, high knees. Sounds easy, right? Just do it. Knock 'em out!
Roarke being badass again. I'm starting to actually like Josho now.
~bass
I forget who Seclorum is again... isn't connected to nightshade?
Finally caught up! Now to read only one chapter per day ... that's probably better for my health.
You know, I thought she'd be classier, but maybe that's just me.
Royalty ain't what it used to be, I tell ya.
Ok, I'll stop that.
So let's see what we have here...
Roarke just exhumes badassery wherever she goes, doesn't she? I like it. And Josho may get into a bar brawl, it's yet to be seen if alcohol will be involved, but is very likely.
gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Leonardo-DiCaprio-Django-Unchained-You-Had-my-Curiosity.gif
3215541
They held up Josho and EE at the start of Innavedr.
Seclorum had ties to Nightshade (if not outright reporting to her), right?. Which reminds me: Whatever happened to Nightshade? Did Shell finish her off, or is she still on the Steel Wing, or what? Try as I might, I'm just drawing a blank on her.
Also, it's nice to see the crew's two outsiders/wild cards going an extra mile for the team (supplies and intel, respectively).
3215562
Oh I know, I would just be excited to see them again beyond them exploding on hovercrafts.
3215563
She was on the airship that Kera blew the generators on, presumably crashing into the ground off-screen.
Yay! Spare parts for free!
Yep...not gonna lie, completely forgot about Seclorum up until now.
3215563
I'd be very surprised if he was not involved with Nightshade. Novus Ordo Secolrum after all ("A new order for the ages").
3215563 I can clearly remember Shell keeping her captive on the Steel Wing.
Hey, don't talk about Rainbow and EE that way!
We need more shows with such a variety of characters:
A mythical traveler
A cyborg assasin
A fat, drunk, AWOL soldier
A very effeminate ex-mercenary stallion
A blind navigator
A horn damaged scientist
A fily from another country
A cook with a secret
A happy go lucky girl
A really weird ship pilot.
A Tesla-Squirrel.
3216432
And together they will make fantastic journeys and discover the magic of friendship.
Watch yourself Josho.
Shooting at Roarke... not usually a prescription for a long and healthy life. Clipper's lucky.
And why do I get the feeling that there's gonna be some connection between Josho and Oporst?
Ah yes, the world-famous Searonese subtlety.
24.media.tumblr.com/dc4d8e6e3b5410ae229234ce8639148b/tumblr_mijc1qkdvg1ql8t12o1_500.gif
3215428 3215462 Seclorum is Nightshade's little pet Enforcer, the one she had dispatched to watch over her access to the world machine - Belle and Pilate currently believe that some major battle or the likes must have ripped open the hull of the machine beneath, thus allowing Nightshade to discover it in the first place as well as getting ahold of the ruby flame.
3215652 The last time we saw her, Shell had taken her to the Steel Wing. I suppose she's still on there, forced to chase Rainbow with him as his prisoner.
3217376 One has to wonder if the reason that Seclorum isn't giving up that spot of land, is precisely because that's where the access to the machine world is to be found. For such a prize, he is willing to defend at any cost.
3217645 That much is almost certain.
If the council is still supporting Seclorum's hapless defense of the machine world entrance...
Has he told them about it?
I can't see a reason why they would keep sending resources otherwise.
I'm wondering about Seclorum's ability to command and fight in direct battles. I hope that he is even more competent than Shell.
Grand Theft Army Night?
.
.
.
Lel.
The mule totally had to see Roarke's request coming. "Oh, mam, those are some lovely high tech eviscerators you got there...what's that? You think I have more of them? Pshaw, Don't be silly!" I guess the poor guy had to at least try, though.
And Josho is doing a great job at collecting intel, so far. Hopefully this Oppo guy doesn't rip him a new one. Although if worst came to worst I guess Josho could just sit on him until he calmed down.
Well, more stuff to read - Onward!
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
Okay, not too much here. I kind of expected Roarke's request, but now we've got someone new thrown into the mix. This could get good...These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
Finally getting to hear more about the war!
And Clipper is totes in over his head. And interesting how they are guarding access to the machine world.
Wasn't Seclorum in Blue Nova?
Also, that stuff about the war is interesting... 
Will Josho survive Oppy?
-Spirit
So this Seclorum guy is just as bad as Nightshade.
Josho fits right in with those guys. i wouldnt be suprised if he wanted to stay here.
Friggin' love Josho.
Mmm, sweet, gracious backstory...
It's the thick gravy of life that this story funnels right into my mouth, I tells ya what
War stories! And hints the events of Innavedr are still at work.
Despite his vulgarity, he is actually quite good at socializing with those that can sumpathise
One can learn a hell of a lot just by talking to people, and Josho knows it. He has a good reason to use every ounce of cunning he picked up over the years now, and it will serve his friends well.
09/06/2019
14:05 UTC