i'm a reader and a thinker. But I'm not a great writer.
Mario and Luigi was in a middle of a fight with Bowser. Then Discord shows up out of no where and sends everybody to Equestria.
So Mario and Luigi has to team up with the main six to save Princess Peach.
this is a sequel to Boo-busting in Equestria
Note: Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Princess Peach are owned by Nintendo.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm sorry...i couldn't go past the firsts 3 sentences...WAY TO STRAIGHT FORWARD
This...was...lazily...written. Not to be mean, but why is it so short? Could you at least be more descriptive? Plus...
La...zy. Be more descriptive, and please describe what happened! If you don't care enough to at least give into the story, then I don't know what's the point of having you as a writer.
Please make a better story, and I really want you to do good, really! But you just gotta care for the story! You think it's just...easy to come up with a story, and get fans? It's not...you have to be descriptive, you gotta explain, and you have to add atleast some logic.
Second, you make...spelling...errors. It's not
it's Until...
Please...take care of your stories...and I really want to be your fan...but please...be better at this.
But...three out of five mustaches for trying.
Discord pops in and teleports everyone into Equestria?
Why am I not surprised?
This story had a good concept, but like the first one, and I can't stress this enough, it feels Very rushed. I'm not trying to be mean here, but really, it was so fast-paced I had trouble following it. Slow it down please, and please put more description. I'll favorite just so I can keep my eyes on it, but I won't like this story until it gets some major overhaul. Get an editor please. I know I'm throwing a giant-ass wall of text at you here, but part of it is my OCD not shutting up.
This story has a LOT of potential. Even if what I'm saying here is insulting, I'm just trying to help out man. I'd love to edit and help out if you want me to. And one last note, it's Pinkie Pie. That one little 'ie' just bothers my OCD to no end. And I hate the fact that it does. Damn it OCD!
That really sounds like a story from a children's book. I enjoyed it though.
Holy crap, this is bad...