Mario & Luigi in Equestria

by BRD

Chapter 3

When they got to Canterlot, There was an army of Goombas and Koopas was there to greet them.

"What are those things?" asked Twilight.

Mario and Luigi explained what Goombas and Koopas were.

"OK then, how do we beat them sugar-cube?" Asked Applejack.

Mario and Luigi told them that the best way to beat Goombas and Koopas is to jump on them/use a Koopa shell and kick it back at them.

Then The Mario Bros. and the Main Six jumped/kick the Koopa shells untell all the Goombas and Koopas were gone.

"That was.... AWESOME!" said Rainbow Dash.

Then they whet to Canterlot Castle to see Princess Celestia, But when they got there the Castle was capered by Bowser and Discord. So they whet inside and kick some flanks/buts untell they got to Bowser's Room.

"Well If isn't my old friend Mario, Green Stash and the six pones must be the herons of Equestria." said Bowser as the the gang walked in.

"So the Humans must be the Mario Bros. you told me about Bowser." said Discord

Before Bowser and Discord made the first, the Main six used the Elements of Harmony on Discord and the Mario Bros. The Power from the Elements gave Mario and Luigi star power. Discord turned into stone and the Mario Bros. beat Bowser in no time flat.

After they freed the Princesses, Pinkie Pie throwed a party to celebrate. the Princesses talked about becoming alies, Mario, Luigi and Twilight talked about each others worlds. After the Party was over Celestia send Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Bowser home.

The end

Author's Note:

[Then The Mario Bros. and the Main Six jumped/kick the Koopa shells untell all the Goombas and Koopas were gone.]

Kind of reminds me of this videos:

Comments

[CosmicCosmo]

I'm sorry...i couldn't go past the firsts 3 sentences...WAY TO STRAIGHT FORWARD

[LikeaBaws]

This...was...lazily...written. Not to be mean, but why is it so short? Could you at least be more descriptive? Plus...

Then The Mario Bros. and the Main Six jumped/kick the Koopa shells untell all the Goombas and Koopas were gone.

La...zy. Be more descriptive, and please describe what happened! If you don't care enough to at least give into the story, then I don't know what's the point of having you as a writer.

Please make a better story, and I really want you to do good, really! But you just gotta care for the story! You think it's just...easy to come up with a story, and get fans? It's not...you have to be descriptive, you gotta explain, and you have to add atleast some logic.

Second, you make...spelling...errors. It's not

untell...

it's Until...

Please...take care of your stories...and I really want to be your fan...but please...be better at this.

But...three out of five mustaches for trying.

[Race9000]

This story had a good concept, but like the first one, and I can't stress this enough, it feels Very rushed. I'm not trying to be mean here, but really, it was so fast-paced I had trouble following it. Slow it down please, and please put more description. I'll favorite just so I can keep my eyes on it, but I won't like this story until it gets some major overhaul. Get an editor please. I know I'm throwing a giant-ass wall of text at you here, but part of it is my OCD not shutting up.
This story has a LOT of potential. Even if what I'm saying here is insulting, I'm just trying to help out man. I'd love to edit and help out if you want me to. And one last note, it's Pinkie Pie. That one little 'ie' just bothers my OCD to no end. And I hate the fact that it does. Damn it OCD!

[Red Bomber]

That really sounds like a story from a children's book. I enjoyed it though.