I am nothing great, just a pony who enjoys reading great stories and trying my best to tell some myself.
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Trixie is a show mare with a past she doesn't care for, the same can be sad for Sunset Shimmer. After a few drink at a local tavern. They found that they had a common dislike of Twilight, which led them to drink some more. Not feeling able to do much. They head back to a room in the tavern. Waking up to each other was not what they had in mind. The events that follow are of those who are just not able to see how someone else feels.
Edited by: TheShadow
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I was wondering when someone would ship those two...
Nice idea but the story is riddled with grammatical errors. I can't comment on anything else because grammar is the first thing I notice.
If you rely on spellcheck, stop; it can't do grammar and if you've used the wrong word it won't see it. Ask a human.
I really like this story.
I want you to continue to write this story. I want to read more.
3093592
I will work on fixing the grammar when I can get a hold of my editor.
3095182
comments like these keep me wanting to write more.
I will work on it as soon as I finish up another story that I pushed to the back burner. And thank you
3093389
I agree, I never really seen many stories with these two together.
I honestly have no idea how I got here (I don't even remember clicking on this story), but I have no regrets!
Upvoted and favorited.
Besides a substantial need for grammar correction and slower pacing, I like it
I can't wait to read more.
3159002
After seeing comments like this, I feel like I should write another story for these two that picks up after this one.
There is going to be more? I thought they lived a happy life of two mares could live.
3160482
I didn't see it was completed till after I posted my reply, whoopsy. n.n
I hope you do write more. n.n
3160868
It's okay, your not the only one who wants the story to go on. I just need to finish a few more things before I can come up with the next story to follow this one.
WORK BRAIN!!!
Great, now my brain is holding a sing that reads "Out for lunch, won't be back till.... never. Good luck Redbook."
3176242
I guess thank you a good place as any to start. So thank you for your kind words.
I don't know what to say. I wish they had a blushing ponyemo, so till then I shell hide it with this
3176606
I really could use that blush emocon right about now. I'm just a humble little pony who likes to write stories about other ponies....
This is a match made in heaven.
3196163
I thought it was made in a bar, after a few drinks
Could you maybe use this as a cover? fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/187/f/f/trixie_and_sunset_shimmer_by_ask_makayla-d6c9sd9.png It's not very romantic, but it seems nice.
3388376
I might. I need to think about.
I like this story. Enough to hit like, but not enough to consider it a favorite. I have favorited any ways, though. Simply because it felt right.
well this was a decent fic no like though
because of this fanfic i now officially ship trixie and sunset!!!!
Good plot. I like the idea. Story is excellent. Food for thought though, space things out, or lengthen the story. This seems rushed and kinda forced. In your description of the two you explain quite bluntly that Trixie "would like to date" Sunset and whatnot, rather than letting the reader come to that conclusion. Be more subtle with the language, the same point would get across with "get to know her better" and it doesn't come off nearly as forced or as cheesy as making a "dating" statement as background for a character's persona.
Also, as far as the speaking goes, dialogue goes a long way. A pony like Rarity would speak more proper like "you are" and the like, spelling out phrases. There was a lot of "you are" and "it is" type phrasing where "you're" and "its" would A: make the sentence flow smoother, and B: be more realistic to the character. Neither of these ponies is prim and proper, and (at least to me) would seem to speak in a much more conversational dialect unless they were put on the spot or in a situation that would invoke nervous behavior and whatnot. Other than that though I actually like this ship, I haven't seen it. I've been scouring this site looking for Sunset Shimmer ships where she's actually a pony and not the EQG universe, and not having much luck. I really like this idea here, and the story overall.
Haven't read the story, but: Sunset is a mare, in Equestria, with a dislike of Twilight, but there's no Alternate Universe tag?