• Published 15th Aug 2013
  • 2,159 Views, 47 Comments

Tick. Tock. - Pseudo_Nym



A monster threatens to destroy Ponyville, again. More importantly, it wrecks havoc with a certain clockmaker's schedule.

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For a Very Important Date

Thunder roared and dark winds raged. A long-forgotten beast from the deepest pits of Tartarus now roamed the streets of Ponyville, its rich laugh echoing off the brightly colored rooftops. Its form was blacker than the deepest night; its heart was blacker still. Six mares stood before it, unbowed and unafraid. Several more ran screaming in panic. The rest of us were used to this kind of thing by now.

“Yeah, can I get those hay fries to go?”

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Tick tick tick.
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I would have gotten the hay fries to go anyway, honestly. I simply didn't have the time to spare eating them. It was 12:49 already, and I had to be back home by 1:52. Eating them there would have used four and a half minutes too many. I would know. Time is my business, after all, not to mention my name, and no one respects a clockmaker who isn't punctual. Doctor T.W. Turner, at your service. Take my card, I insist. Anyway, I don't make a habit out of being late, and this was certainly no exception. I had errands to run, very little time to run them in, and now an ugly monster-thing that certainly wasn't going to make my day any easier. Traffic would be awful, for starters, and worse if there was rubble. I hate rubble. My first stop was pretty close, at least: The Radiant Rose.

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Tick tick tick.
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The store, quaint and quiet. The door, locked, with a well-worn and much used sign hanging from it: Closed, for apocolypse(s). Still, the light was on, so I knocked.

“You in there, Roseluck?”

“No. Go away.” The reply was muffled. She was probably hiding under her desk, again.

“Please, Roseluck. I just want one flower. I'll pay extra?”

“What use is money?! The world is ending!” As if to punctuate her statement, the ground shook mightily. A few blocks away, Rainbow Dash had hit the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple monster-thing in the muzzle, and it stumbled backwards, probably crushing some street performer's cart, or somepony's cabbage stand, or something.

“It ends every other week! It ended twice last Tuesday! Please, this is important!”

No reply.

“I'll share my hay fries!”

Slowly, the door unlatched. Hallelujah. “Thank you. All I need is a single yellow rose, so –”

“Oh, I don't stock roses here. Part of a non-compete with Daisy.”

I stayed as calm and civil as I could manage, under the circumstances. “Your store is called The Radiant Rose. WHY IN EQUESTRIA would you name your store The Radiant Rose if you DON”T. SELL. ROSES!”

Roseluck slammed the door.

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Tick tick tick. Tick tick tick.
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The Divine Daisy was all the way across town, and by the time I got there I was out of hay fries. I got my rose, eventually, but now I owe the proprietor a few to-be-determined favors. Don't ask me why favors are more useful after the world ends than bits, but they are. More importantly, eight minutes forty-six seconds of negotiation plus twenty-nine minutes total walking (worsened by rubble, of course), left me with altogether too little time to lose. Still, the next stop was my last, and it looked to be simpler. The Cakes were pretty reasonable, after all, and Sugarcube Corner was... right next to the giant monster-insect-dragon-pony thing. Hmm. Was it that giant a second ago? Ah, well.

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Tick tick tick.
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Sugarcube corner was empty, which was odd. On its own, more odd than the huge creature just outside its front door. Perhaps the two were related somehow. In any case, I didn't waste a single moment of my nine hundred and thirty-four remaining trotting up to the counter and ringing its little brass bell. And a bright pink pony didn't waste a moment rushing in the door, across the floor, and to the other side of that same counter.

“...Pinkie. The Cakes are...”

“Out of town, silly! But I promised I'd watch the store for them, and I've been trying to be more responsible, and I've never had any problems with the store before well except for that one time with Applejack and, ooh, that incident with all the noodles, but I paid for all the damages even though Twilight helped a little with that and they've had more faith in me since I started watching Pumpkin and Pound and aren't they adorable look at these pictures, really, don't you think...”

Pinkie could go on for a while. I tried to pretend her voice was something calming, like the ticking of a clock, but that just reminded me how late I really was. The roars and screams outside weren't helping, I suppose.

“...And I know I should be outside helping the girls, but I Pinkie Promised I'd watch the bakery and losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever and I can't be in two places at once well I could but I shouldn't so I won't so...”

She really could. The whole town remembered the day she was in twenty or thirty places at once. Scarier than the monster outside now, I'd reckon. Much. Scarier.

“...And to this day I never feed Gummy cheese. Excuse me a moment.” She ran outside, a bright pink blur, and then there was an indescribable sound. If you really had to describe it, like your life depended on it, well, you couldn't. But you'd try, and you'd say it sounded like a cross between a cannon and a kazoo, but with more confetti. And possibly diabetes. In a blink, she was back. “Can I take your order?”

“Um, yes. A bag of your best muffins, please.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” And she started to bake. I started.

“Nothing... already done, is there?”

“Of course there are muffins done! This is a bakery, silly! But you asked for my best, and the best are always fresh!” She started to hum. The thing outside roared.

“Anyway I can... help?”

“Ooh, good idea!” She tossed me the necklace she was wearing. “Go out there and think laughterific thoughts!”

I chuckled nervously.

“Now you're getting it!” Somehow, she pushed me out the door. And time sped up.

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Ticktickticktickticktick.
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The next eight minutes and fourteen seconds were an utter blur. Less than a blur: I can remember no part of them, no trace or detail. I only know the length by identifying how long the gap is between my memories. Still, I'm apparently pretty decent at dodging, if nothing else, and since then Rainbow Dash has started buying timepieces from me to see how fast she's flying. So that's good. Afterwards, Pinkie came out and traded me the muffins for the necklace, there were a bunch of rainbows, and somehow they turned the giant hideous mutant-thing into a tiny hideous stone knickknack-thing, which Rarity called, I believe, “unbearably tacky.” Again, good, I think. The sky cleared up, anyway. What wasn't good was the time. 1:48. Four minutes to get back home, halfway across town. I ran faster than I ever have before or since. Time slowed down.

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Tick... tick...
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I don't know if she's that punctual for everyone, or just as a favor to me. But there she is, every day, right at 1:52. And there she is now, flying away.

“Wait! Wait, please!” The words came out as a single wheeze. I really should run more. Or eat hay fries less. Still, she looked back.

I held out the yellow rose, now a bit tattered from all my heroic dodging, and a brown paper bag I hoped I hadn't drooled or sweat on too much as I'd run. “Happy birthday.”

The mailmare turned, flew back, and lightly kissed me on the cheek.

Time stopped.

Comments ( 47 )

Cute, witty, and original! Well done, sir or madam. :twilightsmile:

3051168
You don't know how much that means to me. I had doubts as to whether I had done the right thing, posting this. With your comment, all doubts are gone, and nothing can bring them back again. Thank you, truly.

This is nicely done. I hope it doesn't go by as an invisible gem. I like how you write :D

You should add character tags. :moustache:

3051179 No problem; I quite enjoyed it! :pinkiesmile:

That ending was adorable. I loved Time Turner's re-imagining, from Doctor Who-esque superhero to to a run of the mill unbothered by chaos and destruction Twilight-And-Her-Friends-Will-Take-Care-Of-It Ponyville Citizen. As much as I like Doctor Whooves stories, it was good to see somebody doing something different with the character.

That was adorable. You should write more, post-haste!

...Rainbow Dash had hit the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple monster-thing in the muzzle...

This monster wouldn't also happen to be chicken-toed and undergrowed, would it?

This story was awesome. Definitely going on my list of things that need to be made into a movie.

In the life of... wait really, that's how his day goes, it's so adorable! :rainbowkiss:

3051179

whether I had done the right thing

Of course you've done the right thing, DUH! An interesting piece of writing, I love the way you employed those "Tick tick tick"-breaks to accent the time passing by, they literally sounded really well. Good job!

Awww... that's so precious. :twilightsmile:

Hilarious story, cute ending and Avatar reference. What more could I ask for?:derpytongue2:

This was pretty good. Wonder why I didn't comment on it as soon as I'd read it... :rainbowhuh:

Thanks for supporting my cause against tuesdays! Apocalypses do have a nasty habit of striking on the same day.

The slice of life tag did surprise me, considering how abstract and complex slice of life stories on this site tend to be. Yet in this case, the tag actually fits like it is supposed to. Fantastic story!

Got to watch out for those Tuesdays. They sneak up on you.

I have to thank everyone who's commented. Your words mean more than mine.

i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
Thumb, fav, and TL feature recommendation for you. Good job. Highly entertaining :pinkiehappy:

4240861 That's more of a Monday to me. :moustache:

Definitely worthy of the mention in the reviews. Nicely done.

That ending made me awwww. Also:

I was also referred here by the Angels. What you have done is very fun, refreshing, and overall a delight to read. Fantastic use of voice, as noted by the Angels. Pinkie was perhaps a bit too cookie-cut with her run-on sentences - it was not entirely inexcusable, mind - but your mental interjections into her litany of speech broke it up satisfactorily and kept things on-track... or, as much as can be said to be so. Clever playing on the "Monster-Of-The-Week" theme, and that was such an adorable ending (of course) that did not feel misplaced in the slightest.

Maybe only a couple carats, but it's a dazzlingly brilliant cut. Great work on this short-short story! :twilightsmile:

Turner needs to take a course in roses. A yellow rose is something you give your grandmother when she's in the hospital after cataract surgery. A mare like Derpy deserves something with a little more pizazz. :derpytongue2:

This is the kind of story that could spark a roaring wildfire debate on the subject of crossover/references v. canon... Not here here, of course.
This was an excellent example of slice-of-life. Keep up the good works, Nym.

I loved this! It was hilarious all the way through and sweet right at the end. The lead-up was awesome. Well done! :twilightsmile:

Ohh:rainbowkiss: I just love Turner stories, you sir get a fav, a like, and a moustache.:moustache:

Edit: Also what the heck were they fighting? Did Discord invite one of his cousins over?

This was very well done. A like and favourite from me!

that incident with all the noodles

A literal noodle incident? Nicely done. :pinkiehappy:

4534990
It's just the monster of the week, that happens to bear a resemblance to a certain song.

Yup. Seems like another day in Ponyville to me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Buildings are closed in all areas, the sky is clouded, and there is a monster being confronted by six (five? Pinkie's watching Sugarcube Corner…) mares while everyone else is running and screaming. Nothing out of the ordinary. :pinkiesmile:

D'awww...

How did... what did... eleven comments? Since yesterday? I'm not... it's not... I mean...

I need to lie down.

ooh, that incident with all the noodles

:flutterrage:NO ONE CAN PROVE THAT!

4537177
Have you seen CanvasWolfDoll's Sepia Tock series?

Comment posted by Emperor Of Nothing deleted Jun 13th, 2014

4537177

Seattle's Angels review, that's how.

Edit: My last comment was screwed up by some weird lag, so I had to delete it.

4539338
You're not reducing my speechlessness, here. A single comment can make my day. This many at once induces incoherent babbling and the spontaneous generation of fainting couches. Study into the phenomenon is ongoing.

4538459
I have, yes. Didn't read them until after writing this, though.

4531121
Yes, but they're Derpy's favorite flower. The reasons for this are many and splendid, involving knights and dragons, lost magic, forgotten kindgoms, a surly platypus, twelve and a half stanzas of poetry, and a ballroom dance with an elder god. The details are left as an exercise for the reader.

Or maybe they just bring out her eyes.

4539659
I hope you liked it. They're my favorite interpretation of Time Turner and I thought yours had a similar feel. Sure, he might be an occasional hero when he has to be- he's got a quick enough brain and enough courage when needed- but he really prefers to be a normal pony who does his mundane job very well.

4539659

You're not reducing my speechlessness, here. A single comment can make my day. This many at once induces incoherent babbling and the spontaneous generation of fainting couches. Study into the phenomenon is ongoing.

You asked how, so I told you how. If you can't handle it, I can only say "not my problem.":trollestia:

Joking aside, its great to see that this story is finally getting the attention it deserves.:pinkiehappy:

Glad I found this one, it was an entertaining read! Have a like-thing and a favourite-thing my good author! :pinkiehappy:

This is so cute! :twilightsmile:

I loved everything about it, especially the entire acceptance of life in ponyville and living through it.

this was a lovely read. it all flew fluid and smooth and the pace was nice and even throughout. nicely done. here, accept this, if you would please.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Absolutely brilliant story! Your writing style is simply fantastic. Adorable ending, too.
Tick... tock... goes the clock... even for the Doctor...

A very nice short story. I very much prefer Time Turner to Doctor Hooves, even as a Doctor Who fan.

very good job. :twilightsmile: the whole thing was spot on down to RD bucking the monster-of-the-week's beak. :rainbowlaugh:

Traffic would be awful, for starters, and worse if there was rubble. I hate rubble.

little things like this complete the story.

so overall, this procures a :yay: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowkiss: :twilightsmile: 7.5/10

I find it extremely hilarious that Ponyville is attacked every other week,😂

Alright, can you tell me something really important?
[Suddenly, the Doctor's Tardis appeared and he came out to say something.]
The Doctor: Am I ginger? -faints-

well, that was....interesting.

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