- Member Since 18th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen 16 hours ago
Type_Writer
Self-taught writer from Las Vegas, Nevada. I have no idea what I'm doing, but it seems to be working out okay so far. (Enjoying my writing? How about a tip? https://ko-fi.com/type_writer )
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- JrWubMaster · 4.6k words · 106 14 · 7.9k views
- PrinERROR · 4.1k words · 119 17 · 7.1k views
- Ocean Heart · 24k words · 100 3 · 5.1k views
- Timber Wolf · 6.1k words · 267 22 · 4.8k views
- SeedOfEvil · 38k words · 95 6 · 5.1k views
- LA Knight · 20k words · 35 0 · 1.1k views
- Gabrielangel13 · 6.8k words · 92 33 · 9.8k views
- Dusk Raven · 10k words · 140 4 · 4.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.221 seconds
Total duration
1,087 users online
1,703,203 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I loved the original kiss of the dark, so I thank you for this
. I almost died when the original got cancelled.
2839346
Well, I'm glad someone likes it! If you don't mind me asking, how'd you stumble across it?
I give you now a metaphysical hug, cherish it.
2839509
Whee! The second best kind of hug!
2839547
Ehhhh... I probably wouldn't be the best to write that, honestly. I'm not good at slice-of-life, and every time i try to think up a SoL story it goes a bit... odd. But thanks for the encouragement all the same!
2839353 Well, in my opinion Twilight is best pony
. My favorite paring is Discolight but when you run out of Discolight stories there is no better substitute than Sombralight
. Put simply, I love it when they get male villains and pair them with Twilight. Not multiple villains at one though, that's kind of weird. I stumbled across they original kiss of the dark just as I got onto the site one morning. Same with this story, that's kind of funny actually
.
2840086
Heh, I'm the same way. Though, if you ask me, there's quite a few stories but not quite enough art, especially some of the saucier stuff...
No reason why this should have any dislikes whatsoever.
2841626
Heh, glad you think so. Pity it seems to be getting almost as many dislikes as likes...
2842979 there will always be haters. just write what you want and post it. from what I've seen, if you do that you should be fine. give credit to the original though, as fans we really beat the shit out of him over which side to pick. SoothingStone has my respect for sticking it out for as long as he did. damn good author.
I came on this story from the Evil Twilight group. And while I liked the original story, this one shows even more promise. Keep it up!
2858032
Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint!
humorfrog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Moar-Krabs-Hope.jpg
Yes yes yes! Please continue this story, I was just really sad when the original got cancelled.
Just please ignore all the hate, (it`s probably just there because you`re not original author) the story is looking really good so far. And just take your time in writing this.
2877825
Yeeeeeah, me and schedules don't get along at all. It's about 75% done, don't worry. Gonna have a little bit of world-building, a shite-load of character development, that sorta stuff. It's coming eventually.
2881202 hazaah!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Sweet mother of god, this is gonna be good!
awww... Gilda has a soft side.
going well so far and LOL at honeydew
I would say longer chapters but you take a fair while to write ones this length, so no. Keep chapters around this length if you have to, just so we get moderately frequent updates.
3101110>>3101323>>3103000
Good to hear, thanks. I should have another chapter out in a couple of days at the most.
Loving the story please keep up the great work.
OOkey then, after i have finished reading both your stories of "kiss in the dark" i really gotta say i find it rather lame that there are so few people sending comments. Thus i am taking it upon myself to give you an extended review after i went through both of them in the last couple of hours.
At first i was unshure, i searched specifically for stories where twi was turned by sombra and his dark powers but it was really strange seeing them dewelop into a couple so fast.
That was one of the points where i wouldnt give you a whole 10 out of 10 for the first story, it felt a little bit rushed. It was not really wrong but i would have liked to read longer and maybe flesh it out a little bit more until you pressed the button for the final bigg bang at the end. In my opinion it could have been at least double the wordcount to lead the readers to your favorable end. But on the other hand i would never say that you left something completely unsead. its just that i feel that some of the choises made by the characters in your fanfic were kinda forced and at one point really wrong. i mean the choise of twi fleeing the sceene of murder. i think you should have expanded this part at least something, because there were not enough pressure on her. (for example celestia talking with her and warning her profoundly that the dark arts are nothing to trifle with and there would be strict consequences if she would be seen dabblingg into them, even if only to study them.) The way you written it i had rather expected twi to become angered at sombra for using her in such a way. i really expected her to feel that she was being controlled... i mean she is a freakin' scolar for suns sake... but oh well, i had to live with your choises and it isnt like you broke it completely for me.
What i dont really condemn is the speed in which sombra got twi to love him. for a guy who is so much older it was as easy as stealing a toy from a baby to wrap this little inexperienced thing of a teenage mare about his hoof.. (ugh this ponytalk is getting to me^^ that the hay^^) She really can't be more than 20 compared to human age, so combined with the fact that she is a certifiable egghead and a year and some months ago she had NO social experience whatsoever (not even starting on things like romance), there is absolutely no chance that she could resist him.
Ok then, continuing all that i find both endings quite nice... especially where twi keeps a somewhat cool head and realises that there is no chance that she can overpower the canterlot army and another princess all by herself.
Btw where was Shining the entire time? you conveniently forgot to include hin into the balance which i find REALLY wrong... things could habe been much more different with him in the mix, and we cant forget that that guy has some pretty darn powerfull shielding spells in his repertuire, that would and could tip the scale of the final battle to the alicorn sisters. and just his presence could theoretically impare twi's actions because fighting against family is something entirely different than protecting your true love against a tyrrannical former mentor. who should be considered family anyway but lets not go there.
So lets just say the end of the first story i found really laking in terms of explanation and also in trems of character involvement.
If you were using that old spiel of the "mastermind corrupting the young protagonist and then letting some accident happen so that the terrified fool would flee in his benevolent hands for the only protection he thinks he can get", then you also should have included "all the friends of the corrupted protagonist gathering together in the quest of freeing him from the grasp of the ghastly tyrant who has bewitched him".
So i really find that the rest of the "main 6", twilight's brother Shining Armour and perhaps even cadence, should have made an entrance in the final battle over twi's heart.
Shure now that we see it that way and compare the power level's you could tell me that it would be impossible for sombra and his newbaked queen to defend themselves against the overwhelming odds. well then factor in that if all the above were present, that celestia couldnt allowe herself to act rushed? none of the newly included would have stood by and done nothing while poor twilight (even if seemingly controlled) PROTECTED SOMEONE who she thought she loved. The armies of canterlot attacked first, they started the slaughter, the poor king just wanted to flee and lick his wounds, he would never ask his queen to battle against family and friends, sombra and twi were forced to defend themselves against attacks long bevore they could even start explaning themselves. whoever told that the ruling bodies of equestria were ALWAYS correct?
If written differently i'd even expect a rift so evolve between the ponies who came to save twi.
So then after all i written above i can say that its all in the stars, and you didnt do it because you had your ofn reasons, which i respect, i just would hope that in the future you would wrap things up more smoothly and think of all the characters that you may have forgotten.
Getting to story two (just so you know even if i had that much to bicker about i still enjoyed your story good enough to want and read the sequel, which right now seems to be a little underappreciated):
Interesting plot twists all the way through! wow! i REALLY LOVE the way you portrayed Luna and i really hope that you continue to use that old canterlot thong of her, i could DRINK that speech. (I am a giant fan of old languages and different accents myself so just bear with my fanatism here^^) and her decision!! WOW. i completely approve! that was something that really shows her resolve not to let past mistakes happen again. (thats a solid pro)
Celestias decision of asking the gryphons for ALL their forces i dont really like at the other hand. just as the fact that she and the general have a really old friendship connecting them, makes it all feel like you just had to pull a deus ex machina outa your something just to make things infinitely harder for the protagonist. (thats a con in my mind)
her friends still thinking of her and even starting to develop plans of supporting her, now THAT what i call real friends. even while there is danger ahaid of them that they could pe prosecuted for helping a dangerous criminal they dont stop of thinking of her as a friend. commendable. and that one litte episode with pinkie? you've done it completely right. (so then that's another pro)
now lets see, have i forgot to add something? still no sign of Shining Armour and Candence, which you really should rectify, (dont forget we still need the reaction of the big brother for not being included into the strikeforce. that really has to be explaned somehow.)
then hmm.. rainbow zapping between the library and the everfree forest should be really suspicious but i think you know that and will address it somehow.
then the diamond dogs, interesting idea here, and i really hope that wasnt their only appearence in this fanfiction, btw you got their speech patterns down perfectly and... jeah! a thousand cookies for the "diggy-diggy-hole" reference, i got a hiccup laughing so hard on that. Honeydew can be proud that his legacy is unforgotten.
Ok, i think that would be all.. i am sorry that i had so many things to complane and plz dont think that i try to change you story into something you dont want. its just that i like the whole idea and it really tugged at my heart. (and i am kinda a perfectionist if it comes to fiction, my fantasy is running crasy all the time with me, just dont try and look for any of my work, i've only written in german or russian so far, and my english grammar is really bad so i just dont go here jet. its not even my native language so please dont flame my errors in this reply. :-)
So then, after all of this, i hope you continue writing on this ff and that i havent scared you off or offended you in any way with something that i have written.
thanks for your time and i hope i'll read you soon again, buy-buy and have fun.
alehhandro .;-]
3175683
Ah, thank you for the wunderbar feedback! First, I'm not trying to shift the blame, but I didn't actually write the first story. I started reading it when it was about half-way done, and was among many who thought that the ending was lacking heavily, or had several other problems with it. So, I decided to write a better ending!
Second, thank you again for being honest in your criticisms. Shining and Cadance are probably going to show up soon, and we just haven't had much chance to see them. And I'm particularly proud of how well I apparently write Luna's speech. I'm always worried I flubbed something, but according to everyone I'm just about bang on the money as far as eighteenth-century grammar goes. (If you'd like more of that, She's in a couple other stories of mine. They're my first ones, and they're kinda crap, but if you can look past that, they are improving.)
Pinkie is... well, like I said, she writes herself. If I get her going, and do it right, I kinda end up... "channeling" Pinkie? It's a bit odd, but It's a wonderful feeling. I believe I'm not the only one to do this, as there's a great song called Balloons in my Basket that has very much the same feel. That it's just... Right. That Pinkie actually had some input on it, and got the song right. I'm still waiting for someone to do a female cover, though.
Finally, the Gryphons bit was something I actually had planned from the beginning. Celestia has an inkling of an idea just how dangerous Twi/Sombra are, and she knows the Gryphons are better fighters than the Equestrians. (Maybe even a little more technologically advanced. 'Cause, ya know... Thumbs.) Trust me, it'll all even out in the end, when they're gonna need all the troops they can get.
Again, Thank you for the feedback! This was just what I needed, and it helped me get my ducks in a row for the next chapter. Hope you enjoy them as they come!
3175863
wow.. that was fast, i didnt expect you to reply to my comment on the same day, let alone 50 minutes later.. hehe..
i just gotta say that i always try to be honest with my replies and am happily awaiting all the new things you will introduce in this story...
on the off hand, i have finished reading "Clockwork Moon" and you will get a bigger reply on this as i am writing now but after my email told me you replied that fast i just HAD to do the same...
Your Luna speech is.. just... OVER 9000!!!!! wow...
ok then, good night and untill later... really gotta go and have some sleep now...
gn8 and have fun writing...
alehhandro .;-]
3176255
Yeah, I have kind of an odd schedule. There's two computers in the house, and I only reliably have access to one; which is what what I do my writing on. (It also doesn't have internet, and it's older than I am.) The other one I usually have to bargain my way onto, or wait until everyone else leaves. So, when I am on, it's usually for a while, and you could probably hold a conversation with me through comments. Still, it'd fill them up with guff that didn't really have anything to do with the story, so let's not do that, eh?
Hooooly shit. I refrain from commenting at all 90% of the time, but holy hell, please for the love of god put some atttibution. There are 4-6 potential speakers here, and you dont describe anything. No body language, no movements, no scenery, etc. It will keep these long dialogue sections from getting super confusing between who is talking in a group > 3.
3196262
Dangit, I was trying to avoid that. It's a conversation between Dash, Gilda, Applejack, and Fluttershy. I was trying to get through a scene only using dialogue, and hopefully easily establishing all of their unique voices, but if people are having a problem with it...
Well, gimme a sec.
3196435
There is a significant difference between establishing unique voices, and going all dialogue. I'll reply in a min with a bit of an explanation of what I mean, need to type it up.
angry flutters is scary...
3242592
agreed....
Ah, glad to see someone took up the bad end!
I'll be sure to check this out when im not procrastinating sleep
Well..........there go that guards promises of sweet dreams for the week!!
I lol'd at that reference
Also try not to take too long for the next chapter, I hat cliffhangers
3297002
Which one?
It's been a while since I've last played Dishonored, but that reference really stuck out at me.
3298159
Heh, yeah. I need to actually play that game at some point. I have a Mac, and no Xbox, so I'm pretty much screwed. Knowing that, I spoiled the game by watching let's play's out of boredom.
I'm making sure to stay isolated from the DLC, tho. Are they worth it?
Raritys magic is blue. Not green.
3302144
Exactly...
(Oh, and you managed to catch something that my prereader and all those before you didn't, or at least didn't mention. Now try to figure out what it means!)
Um, Twilight is described as a Unicorn several times here. ...Don't these stories take place post MMC, so she'd be an alicorn?
3322540
...Fuck!
(I don't suppose you could point out where?)
Gilda Ship?
3359638
Maaaaybe.
Who do you think with?
OMG that Yogscast reference XD, the song too
3360987 Hi There. I suppose before writing this I should check your profile before ranting but....... JUST UPDATE, THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE YOU KANTUS SCUM. "Clears throat" Anyways, update. Now.
Ad I just finished re-re-re-reading this too D:
hey pinkie do you really write yourself
5079127
People are commenting! Yay!
Which he's also not writing right now. He's a lazy pony.
And I sure do, though Feli's taking a break from letting me do it. But i got free reign over Like a Surgeon!
Needs moooooooooooooore explosives