Derpy's Lover

by roygbiv

The Infamous Story Itself...

Ditzy Doo smiled, her one good eye fixing upon her love as she flew in toward the cafe. All her hard work as a mail pony... All of the flying through rain, hail, wind, and even snow makes it worth it for this one moment. This moment of bliss when it was just her and her lover.

The other ponies could never understand the love she feels when with him. To them, she's just the silly pony with the mental issues. But he never judges her. He never makes fun of her. He is always there to comfort her when she is at her lowest.

She leans forward, her lips gently kissing the top of the his mushroomed flare. Her tongue flicks across it, causing her to let out an involuntary moan as the taste sends fiery tingles down her spine. She mustn't rush this moment... No... Every second with him feels like an eternity at this point. She trails her tongue along the rim of the flare now, a shudder of anticipation rolling over her equine body as her tongue begins to trail down lower...

She lets out a groan of pleasure, calling out his name in ecstasy almost involuntarily. Reaching forward with her hooves, she grips his bottom and peels the tight covering off to reveal his form fully to her gaze. Tossing the covering over her shoulder, she knew in her heart the others in the plaza were watching her now... Their aghast eyes glued to her lewd display as her tongue danced across his now stripped body to taste EVERY inch. But she didn't care anymore at this point, so lost in her lustful experience. They didn't matter anymore; it was just her and her love. And right now, she needed to feel him fill her mouth.

The grey pegasus opens her muzzle as she starts to take him ever so deep inside. She gags slightly from the size and width... But thanks to her years of practice, she soon feels his warmth and girth fill her muzzle completely. This is the moment she craves. This is the moment when she feels fulfilled and at peace. Sitting in the middle of Ponyville, her muzzle full of him, and getting ready to swallow as everyone watched... Everyone saw her for what she really was...

And then, all too soon, the pleasure hits its climax as the warmth slides down her throat. She starts to swallow, trying to not waste any of this gift from him as the warmth fills her belly completely. she looks up with a satisfied look as the final traces of him remain smeared across her face. Let the others joke or make fun of her all they want... This animalistic moment where she uses and is used by him publically is what makes her happy. Leaving her full and messy, yet happy once again to have fulfilled this fantasy...

Twilight Sparkle tsked and shook her head. "Derpy, what is wrong with you! Look at you, you're a mess." Using her magic, she picked up a cloth to begin wiping the crumbs off from around the grey pegasus's muzzle. "Honestly, Derpy, you are always such a noisy and messy eater! Can't you just eat like a normal pony?"

The grey pegasus just gives Twilight a goofy grin as she tilts her head to the left questioningly. "Muffins?"

Author's Note:

So, Derpy's Lover... This is one of my most infamous fan fictions to date (Followed by 'Trapping the Quarterback' for other reasons.), and it still makes me-and others who read it-laugh. I originally posted this to DeviantArt March 9th, 2011 during the time of the great banning wars. Since then this little infamous 'spamfic' (A short humor-themed fan fiction under 1500 words in length) has spread far & wide across the internet. I've personally heard at least 12 different readings (One of which I host here.), and to date I've seen it translated into 5 different languages.

But what makes such a short story so popular? Ruffles Gareth from DeviantArt has said of the story:

I particularly enjoyed how every single act she did to her Lover (and presumably, all the others before Him) was technically and anatomically correct, but I have to applaud even more your introspective on Derpy's emotions and the cavalcade of happiness she feels for fulfilling the purpose of the Muffin.

And I think this may be it, in all reality. Not only are you, the reader, treated to something 'naughty', you can giggle safely knowing that it isn't really. Then you want to share with your friends so they too can share in the joke. Plus, in the end, we all love our wall-eyed mare. And no matter what, in the end we want to see her happy. Of course there's that last group who fapped or 'clopped' to this... You know who you are....

So yeah, I may joke I feel bad for this, but I don't honestly. Screw the haters, I love this story as much as the readers do. So thanks for reading, and here! Have a muffin....

Comments

[Polly]

Admin note: story has been approved by me as a one time exception to the 1000 word limit. It is not necessary to report it as rule-breaking. Have a nice day and enjoy the story!

[Smirkythread]

Got some connections here, eh? Story was funny but I realised it was a muffin when she said the mushroomed flare so it wasn't as shocking to me.

[Dominic the Donkey]

2830630 Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Okay then.

Loved the story by the way.

[salchanpony]

Had me going, there. First I was , wrong story. Then Derpy's lover? I must read! Then wow, the description. Finally, was literally my face. I loved it. It fits perfectly!

[Zeyon The Green]

Pretty easy to tell by what characters are marked what is going on... Love that pic by the way.

[Boo-the-Ling]

Read an Inuyasha fic that did the same thing to him and a cup of noodles. Defitnaly worth the laughs.

[roygbiv]

2830759
It could also have been a human... muffin, but yeah.

2831057
Check the reading in my author notes for an audio version of your reaction... ;)

[Smirkythread]

2835389
I honestly thought it would be Twilight when I clicked on the story.

[roygbiv]

2835416

Ooops, disregard, i suck caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaumnmmmmuffins, yeah!

But do give that a listen, it's my favorite reading by far! (And still no female dramatic readers, awwww....)

[SweetSerenity230]

At first I was like Then I was like:

[xv22shasokais]

The moment the story said something about "putting him inside" I know something's not what it seems to be.

2831057
So... your face literally turns into Rainbow Dash?

[Golden Diamond]

end of second paragraph i made a guess that it would be a muffin xD

[Rainbow Dashder Dash]

my reaction at first was like "is she giving doctor whooves a blowjob?" then at the end I was like

[The Great Zoroark]

I was like Dis at First OMG!! but at the end i was here.have a mustache

[Light Angle]

I knew from the second you mentioned cafe where this was going...
Still you wrote it so well that it was worth the read

[StyleingDJ]

I thought it would have been Dr. Whooves!!!

[derpy__ hooves123]

Wtf is this sham shame shame

[Luna1911follower]

To tell the truth, i actually wanted to see if I could get off on clop, but I didn't want to be stuck reading a long story that would take long to read but not a short story that left out all the details. So I chose this one. And I actually jacked off and succeeded, but then I got the end. Long story short, I found out I can't get off on clop, but I can jack off to derpys obsession with muffins.

[Inkysplat]

At first, I though it was Twilight because of the cover photo, but then you wrote 'him' and I thought of Doctor Hooves... Then it got to 'his mushroomed flare' and I knew straight away it was a muffin. And I love you for that!!!

[Voiceguy]

The muffin was cock flavored

[FlavoredMoon]

I'm so confused

[Moon loving Changeling]

Best twist ever