Applebloom was having a bad day.
It started just as she sat down to breakfast, she had just made herself a big bowl of porridge with cinnamon and a few apple slices to flavour and was pouring herself some applejuice when what could only be described as a pony shaped missile flew in through the window and crashed onto the table, upending her breakfast onto her head.
By the time the colt had been caught and she finished cleaning up, she was late for school and only had time to grab an apple from the kitchen before speeding out the door.
Then at lunch she discovered that her juice carton had been crushed ruining her sandwiches, then finally, to top it all off she had forgotten her homework in the confusion of that morning.
Needless to say she was not happy at all when her sister explained that the apparent cause of her misfortune was sleeping in the guest room.
‘’But Applejack, why did ya let him stay?’’ she demanded.
‘’Because he’s scared, lost and very sick’’ her sister replied ‘’and watch your tone there missy, right now he’s our guest and ah won’t have ya disrespecting a guest of this family.’’
‘’But he destroyed mah breakfast!’’ Applebloom countered ‘’he made me late fer school, he made me ferget mah homework!’’
‘’Ah’ve told you ah’ll speak to Cheerilee tomorrow’’ said Applejack ‘’ah’ve also told him to apologise to ya.’’
‘’That’s not good enough.’’ muttered Applebloom, as far as she was concerned the colt, Reiver Applejack had called him, had just given her one of the worst days in her life.
An apology alone would not be enough.
The two Apple siblings were currently in the farmhouse kitchen; Applebloom was washing her dinner plate while Applejack was making some food to take to Reiver. Zecora recommended they don’t feed him anything too rich as he was clearly underweight and his body wouldn’t be able to handle the extra nutrients just yet.
So Applejack was making up a tray with a small bowl of applesauce and a glass of cold water to wash it down.
‘’Now ah want you to take this to Reiver.’’ she asked Applebloom.
She opened her mouth to protest but Applejack cut her off.
‘’Now let’s not have any more lip, if he’s going to be staying here ya’ll need to learn to get along, this’ll also be a perfect opportunity fer him to apologise to ya. Now if ya need me I’ll be finishing up the east field.’’
Reluctantly, Applebloom took the tray on her back before slowly walking upstairs.
‘’Táint fair’’ she grumbled ‘’he wrecks mah breakfast and gets a free room, ah’d have thrown him out as soon as we caught him, but nooooo.’’
Reaching the guest room she creaked open the door with a hoof. On the bed lay the lightly snoring colt, his jacket hung off the one of the bedposts nearest. She could see the tips of Zecora’s incense sticks glowing in the semi dark and she could taste a spicy tang in the air.
Trotting in she deliberately kicked the door closed with just a little too much enthusiasm.
The bang jolted Reiver from his slumber with such force he actually jumped a few feet into the air. Using his hooves to rub his eyes he blearily looked for the source of his rude awakening, coming face to face with the angry filly.
His eye widened in recognition.
Applebloom coldly walked over, her gaze never once leaving him. She briefly considered just dumping the applesauce on his head in payback, but Applejack was outside and she didn’t want her day getting any worse.
Sliding the tray to the floor she looked him in the eyes.
‘’Listen here’’ she said icily, ‘’ah don’t like you, you dumped mah breakfast on mah head, made me late fer school, made me ferget mah lunch, made me ferget mah homework!’’
Applebloom had practically screamed the last part, but she managed to keep her voice both low and very menacing at the same time.
She had also been advancing on the increasingly terrified colt, clambering onto the bed and forcing him to back right up until he bumped into the wall.
‘’But fer whatever reason mah sister thinks ya need help, so ah’m going ta put up with ya fer now, but one wrong move and I will have you otta here faster than a stampeding Buffalo!’’
Reiver gulped, a scant few inches separated him from the furious filly.
‘’Ya got that?’’
He nodded vigorously.
She scrutinised his face thoroughly, he could feel the sweat beading under his fur.
After a few more fear filled minutes she felt satisfied that he had accepted her terms.
‘’Good, now here’s yer dinner’’ she hopped off the bed and dumped the tray on it before trotting quickly towards the door.
‘’Wait!’’
Applebloom paused.
‘’Look’’ he sighed ‘’I get it; you don’t like me. Heck I wouldn’t like any...pony that threw my breakfast over my head. But the fact is I am stuck here until I am well enough to leave and, as much as I don’t want to ask for it, I need your help...’’
She could just ignore him and leave, the coughing fit he was having meant he couldn’t very well stop her, but she reminded herself that Applejack was outside, and she didn't want her day getting any worse.
Turning, she witnessed Reiver fiddling with the zip pockets of his jacket, first trying to use his hooves and then eventually resorting to his teeth. Pouring out its contents Applebloom saw a set of keys, a funny box thing wrapped in black cable and a few coins. Muttering several frustrated curses Reiver stuck his muzzle into the pocket completely, before pulling out a large, colourful, lollipop.
‘’This is a Tutti Fruitti, Twirly Pop. It’s made with artificial colourings, flavourings, and is loaded with things most dentists wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.’’
He took it in both hooves and waved it.
‘’This is not an apology, it is a bribe, I will only give it up if you can get me some books, specifically, anything on magical travel, and you have to do it without telling anypony why you want them.’’
She sat there and thought for few minutes, her eyes having never left the brightly coloured treat from the moment it appeared.
‘’Why?’’ she asked.
Reiver sighed.
‘’Let’s just say it will get me out of your mane a lot faster. Please...will you get them for me?’’
The thought of him leaving sooner helped make her decision.
‘’Alright,.’’
''Thank you'' he sighed ‘’Remember the sooner you get those books, the sooner you can enjoy this dental nightmare.’’
Her sweet tooth whetted by the sight of such a colourful confection, Applebloom cantered out the door and back downstairs. Grabbing her saddlebags she quickly scribbled a note stating she had to do some ‘’crusader stuff’’ before heading out the door.
The afternoon sun was well on its way towards the horizon as she trotted along the dirt road to Ponyville. Upon entering the town she saw a few stalls were still open in the market but most were beginning to pack up for the night. She waved to Big Macintosh as she passed the Apple stall, the stallion returning the gesture with a small smile.
As she trotted to the library Appleblooms thoughts turned to Reivers request. He had asked for books on magical travel but he was an clearly an Earth pony, they would be useless to him if he wanted to cast any spells.
So why did he need them, and why he’d he offered her that lollipop to keep quiet?
Looking up she found she had arrived at a large tree with a door set into the trunk. Several windows were also visible and a balcony had been built out from the second floor while an observation platform, complete with telescope, emerged from the top of the canopy.
This was Ponyville’s own Golden Oak Library.
Rapping a hoof on the door she was greeted by a small purple dragon with green spines wearing a frilly apron.
‘’Hi there Applebloom.’’ he greeted cheerily
‘’Hi Spike’’ she replied, beaming ‘’Can ah come in, ah’d like to get a few books.’’
‘’Well you’ve definitely come to the right place, come in.’
Applebloom trotted inside, Spike shutting the door behind her.
The Library’s extensive collection loomed before her. Shelves that had been sunk back into the tree trunk heaved with hundreds of books, while lecterns displayed several large tomes, each one significant in some way to Equestria’s knowledge.
Normally the shelves would have been graced by Twilight Sparkle, the purple unicorn usually had her nose in a book or was organising the shelves, but today she was nowhere to be found.
‘’Is Twilight around?’’ she asked ‘’ah thought she was supposed to be in today?’’
‘’A letter came from Princess Celestia and she had to leave in a hurry, something about strange weather in the Everfree forest.’’ replied Spike ‘’personally I think she overreacted a little.’’
‘’Whys that?’’
‘’She took, a dozen different books, a barometer, a seismometer, a lightening rod, a rain catcher, a chemistry set, three notebooks and four quills with two inkpots each.’’ Spike finished, having ticked each one off on his claws.
Applebloom gawped a little.
‘’Well, she takes being prepared to a whole new level.’’
‘’You got that right’’ he chuckled‘’ so what kind of books were you after?’’
The farm filly scanned the rows of shelves.
‘’Ya got anything about travelling, like magically going from here to Manehatten and back?’’
The young dragon scratched his chin in thought for a moment before his expression brightened.
‘’I know just the one.’’ He said grabbing a ladder and ascending the nearest set of shelves. Running a claw along the spine of each book he read the titles carefully before eventually stopping on one near the end of the row. Pulling it out he slid down the ladder to the floor.
‘’Here we are’’ he said ‘’ The foals guide to magical travel, what you need it for anyway?’’
‘’Well the girls and I were gonna...erm...try and get our Cutie Marks in...teleporting!’’
‘’Teleporting?’’ said Spike sceptically
‘’Yeah... we were gonna be, CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TELEPORTERS!’’ she finished with a dramatic flourish.
Spike was sure his eardrums had just popped.
‘’Well just don’t go teleporting into a tree or to another planet, your sisters will kill me.’’
‘’Don’t worry Spike, we’ll be careful.’’
Spike raised an eyebrow; careful was not a word usually associated with Applebloom, or her friends.
‘’Uhhh anyway...’’ she said tucking the book in her saddlebags ‘thanks fer your help but I gotta get this to the girls, see ya.’’ and with that she zipped out the door.
Trotting back through town the yellow filly’s thoughts returned to Reiver, he had to be up to something, but what exactly?
‘’Ah guess I’ll have to keep an eye on him fer now.’’ she muttered ‘’but if he even blinks the wrong way ah’m gonna buck him inta next week.’’
Reaching Sweet Apple Acres she quickly made her way upstairs and made a beeline for the guest room.
Pushing open the door she stopped at the sight before her.
Reiver had his muzzle buried in the bowl of applesauce and was attempting to lick it up like a dog. The spoon Applejack had provided was on the floor, a few blobs of sauce indicating he had apparently tried (and failed) to use it.
The sight resulted in a snigger escaping her lips, which caused Reiver to look up, revealing his whole muzzle was covered in the sticky mess.
Applebloom could help herself and burst out laughing so hard she had to support herself against the door.
His cheeks burning with embarrassment Reiver grabbed the corner of the bedcovers, and quickly cleaned up.
‘’If you are quite finished.’’ He huffed
With a few lingering chuckles Applebloom wandered over to the bed and lay the book on the covers, Reivers eyes lit up as he reached for it, but she quickly snatched it out of reach.
‘’A-HEM, ah believe we had a deal.’’ She said
‘’So we did.’’ He replied, producing the lollipop from under the pillow.
‘’How can ah be sure this will really get ya outta here quicker?’’ she asked, giving voice to her suspicions.
Reiver gave her an incredulous look.
‘’I don’t have time for this’’ he muttered. ‘’Look, I swear that what's in that book will get me out of your life faster than if I didn't have it.’’
‘’Ya promise?’’
Reiver blinked in disbelief, then sighed
‘’Cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eyAH!’’ He finished, having just poked himself in the eye which elicited some more giggles from Applebloom.
Satisfied that he had effectively sworn his soul for a book, she tossed it to him. He clumsily caught it in both hooves before tossing her the lollipop, which she deftly caught in her own hooves.
As she was trotting triumphantly towards the door she paused.
‘’How did ya know how to do a Pinkie Promise?’’
She was sure she had just seen Reiver pale through his coat.
‘’I’ve uuhhhh...been watching the town for a few days...I saw a pink pony do that and I thought that was what you meant.’’
Applebloom frowned; he was defiantly hiding something, she decided to pretend to play it off, if she wanted to keep an eye on him he had to believe she was completely fooled.
‘’Well not really, but a Pinkie Promise is even better than a regular promise, ah just thought ya had met Pinkie already.’’
She continued towards the door. ‘’Good night.’’
‘’For what it’s worth, I am sorry for dumping your breakfast on your head.’’
She stopped again. Turning to see he was watching her expectantly. She hadn’t really forgiven him, but she had to at least pretend to.
‘’It’s alright.’’ She shrugged and then slipped out the door.
Shutting it behind her, she looked at the lollipop properly for the first time.
The colours were unnatural swirls of reds and orange and she could smell the sugar through the wrapper, it was defiantly a piece of candy, but what she couldn’t understand was the label. There were none of the symbols that made up the Equestrian language and there was some kind of insignia above the text, but that also didn’t look familiar.
If he really was up to something then this had to be some sort of trick, but she needed an expert on sweets to be sure.
Fortunately she knew just the filly.
2843891 Yep, those quotation marks was really irritating to read.
Well now Applebloom turned into Applebitch, didn't she?! I wonder what Applejack would think, her own sister mistreating a starving, sick, scared colt and accepting a bribe from him....
Tch, alicorn Twilight
sp6.fotolog.com/photo/38/22/84/nx34/1239088561937_f.jpg
Nyeah.
Wished more had happened though.
On the bright side, the grammar was better. The dialogue is still missing punctuation in some places though, makes sure to stick a comma in the dialogue, if it's followed by a 'Said x.' It's a period if the next bit is an action though...or something like that. Forgot the exact term.
Ex:
2861567 Understood, I'll be more careful with that.
Eventually decided to go for unicorn Twilight.
2861601
Oh you are...?
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Sweet.
This might be an odd thing to comment on, but if you want to say "Apple Bloom walked somewhere", you really don't need to say "Apple Bloom cantered somewhere" just because the word sounds more horsey.
A canter is a specific gait (simplifying, but generally faster than a trot and slower than a gallop), and is going to be interpreted by your readers as running rather than walking, even when that doesn't make much sense, such as "slowly cantering upstairs" or when "Applebloom coldly cantered over, her gaze never once leaving him", both of which really seem like you meant for Apple Bloom to be walking.
She's gonna take the impaled cavities to Twist, eh?
I wonder how she'll react when she find out that it really is just a sweet.
2861676 I decided that the only real differences between Unicorn Twi and Alicorn Twi is one extra episode and a movie.
2861954 I'll keep that in mind, I think I was panicking a little over what terms apply to ponies and people.
Update?
2933726 Working on it as we speak, works just been a bit tough right now so my free time went spiralling down the infinite chasm that is my timetable.
BRONY!
We ride at dawn.
2843891 Didn't even notice...
it was defiantly a piece of candy ----> definitely
Whenever there is supposed to be definitely there is a defiantly.
I believe you mean definitely. Though I suppose he could also be defiant in that situation, the paling kind of ruins the effect.
3877098
4856562
Alas, I have been ninja'd.
Reiver is definitely genre-saavy in one way, but surely he should be aware the Mane 6 would (canonically at least) do their level best to help him. It's not like they don't see this level of craziness every day, right?
Lots of punctuation issues and grammar issues. Too many for me to care to help with
i found that the type of writing has made a really good increase, plus your doing good to drag each chapter out as long as you can. good work!
Don't you mean Alicorn?
I'm sorry, but I just have to point this out.
Defiant -
adjective
1. characterized by defiance; boldly resistant or challenging:
a defiant attitude.
Definitely -
adverb
1. without doubt (used for emphasis).
"I will definitely be at the airport to meet you"
Getting "defiantly" (describing defiance) and "definitely" is a very common mistake. Many beginning writers make this mistake.
It's a little early to say anything but Apllebloom seems a little 'off'... and if this is the 'worst day she's ever had' then all I can say is 'cry me a river'.
5786804
Hey, how would you act if someone dumped food all over your head? I would be a bit miffed myself.
On a side note: Great story so far. I don't know why but you make me want to keep commenting on the story.
ahh to be woken up rudely last time that happened i jumped out of a second story window. that was also the last time i put my bed near a window.
4864825
He's probably read Oh to Be Old Again or another fic like it, where the ponies jump through hoops to continue to think the human turned foal is just crazy instead of telling the truth despite mountains of evidence otherwise, and where the whole situation hasn't turned out well for anyone, and thus probably is afraid of something similar happening here.
5133180
It's actually auto-correct that does that. Most people try to spell definitely "definately" with an 'A.' Word auto-corrects "definately" to "defiantly" instead of "definitely." Don't know why, but it does. It used to happen to me before I realized how to spell "definitely."
"Lightening rod" or "lightning rod"?
"Your sisters will kill me" — what other sister(s) besides AJ? Or should it be "sister"?
And other people already said about "defiantly/definitely" :)
‘’Alright.’’
''Thank you.'' he said. ‘’Remember, the sooner you get those books, the sooner you can enjoy this dental nightmare.’’
As she trotted to the library Applebloom's thoughts turned to Reiver's request. He had asked for books on magical travel but he was an clearly an Earth pony, they would be useless to him if he wanted to cast any spells.
‘’Hi there Applebloom.’’ he greeted cheerily.
‘’Hi Spike.’’ she replied, beaming. ‘’Can ah come in? Ah’d like to get a few books.’’
‘’Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. C'mon in!"
That lollipop is going to be his undoing isn't it.
This made me puke in the middle of eating lunch.
I regret re-reading this.
Sorry.
You put "defiantly hiding something" instead of "definitely hiding something"
Ah, insider knowledge in Equestria. Who want's to bet three cookies that he'll mention Alicorn Twilight?
Did she become somehow ethnic in that first word? Táint? Lol
I adore his descriptions. But wow this kid needs counseling. Don't die just to avoid questions, dummy!
Who could the be talking about? Thweetie Belle? Thweetie Dropth? Tith a mythtery.
Its Twilight, she always overreacts when Celestia is involved
9299862 Possibly side effects from the portal/tear/negative space wedgie that brought Reiver there.
Also, if he has artefacts like a mobile phone and coins, why does he think he won't be believed if he went to somepony like Twilight? Even if it isn't working, just the materials and manufacturing techniques will show it's not Equestrian. And if this is post-EQG 1, which it most likely is, since we have Twilicorn, she'd even recognose what it was.
The one off-putting thing about this is that this guy is too paranoid, with too little reason. I can see why he is, for dramatic tension, but the excessive way he goes about it hammers on my sense of disbelief. He could still be cagy, without acting like an utter loon.
2861261
Those kinds of quotation marks are what you'd get in MS Word if you're Dutch (double quotes are automatically converted). Actually in handwriting the starting quote will be at the bottom instead of the top (like „this”). I believe that French uses «these» for spoken text, but I'm not sure.
You can get these other characters on your phone by long-pressing the double quotes (or long-pressing the less-than or greater-than character for «these»).
9160656
Probably a typo, cuz some keyboads will put the á character down when typing 'a (especially Dutch keyboards and probably also German and French keyboards).
Applebloom’s quite aggressive when she’s hangry.
11445035
Jajaja yeah!
"Defiantly" should be "definitely." I have no idea how this word mix-up became so wide-spread on this site but I see this all the damn time and it fills me with sorrow.