Sleepily rubbing his eyes, Reiver awoke from a restless slumber. Groggily extracting himself from the warm embrace of his duvet, he brushed his mane out of his eyes before freezing at the sight of the headboard.
He eyed the painted wood cautiously for several minutes, half expecting Bedlam to reappear and continue their conversation from last night, however when the strange being failed to materialise he sighed in relief. He did not need another conversation with his own image right now; all it did was remind him how surreal everything was, as well as the possibility that his own sanity might be dwindling.
Deciding he’d had enough sleep for now, Reiver dropped to the floor and made his way downstairs to the living room, he wondered which Apple he would run in to but when he reached the bottom of the staircase he found it completely empty.
“Hello, anypony there?”
Silence, given his condition he had expected at least one of the Apples to be in the house but no pony was forthcoming. Scanning the room his eyes settled on the broken picture frame from the night before. Carefully lifting it into his hooves he gingerly tapped the cracked glass, confused as to how it had broken in the first place.
He remembered picking it up last night and seeing the smiling faces of the Apple family staring back at him had made him smile at first, but as he continued to look at it he felt something else take over. He remembered a tear running down his face as those smiling faces started to mock him with their happiness and joy, flaunting the perfect family that they were right in front of him. His mind seemed to blank out at that point and it was only the glass breaking that had snapped him back to his senses.
How on earth was he going to explain this to the Apples? Even before his transformation he would have had difficulty breaking the glass in a picture frame. It shouldn’t matter that he now had the strength of an Earth Pony; but he was still weak after his time in the Everfree Forest. For the moment they seemed to have overlooked the picture in the wake of last night’s incident, but they would find out eventually and it could lead back to him.
Suddenly somepony kicked the back door open, causing it to slam into the wall with a loud crash. This resulted in Reiver nearly jumping out of his skin in fright and losing his already tenuous grip on the picture frame, causing it to fall to the floor with a sickening crunch. As Reivers mind raced to think of an acceptable excuse, an imposing shadow fell across him.
Nervously, he turned to see that towering over him was Applejacks brother Big Macintosh. He had met the stallion before when he was bedridden, the bed making him somewhat less intimidating as they could see eye to eye. But now he was at ground level the already large stallion seemed almost titanic, he was a workhorse through and through; muscles built by years of farming covered in a shaggy red coat, marred only by his half apple cutie mark. Looking down at the frightened colt, he saw the broken frame on the floor and went to retrieve it.
“I didn’t mean to,” Reiver blurted out. “I was just looking at it and then there was a bang and I jumped and I…I…” He looked desperately from the broken picture to Big Mac as he tried to think of something to say.
“It’s alright young un,” replied Big Mac as he inspected the damage. “Accidents happen; the photographs fine I just need to replace the glass.”
“You’re…not mad?” Reiver asked tentatively.
“Nope,” he replied, slightly confused.
“It’s just…never mind,” replied Reiver nervously. “Why were you outside? I thought somepony was supposed to stay with me right now?”
“I was watching ya, but I can’t sit still fer long when there’s chores ta do, so I went ta get mah tools.” He indicated the metal toolbox that was balanced on his back, the thing looked like it weighed a ton but the red stallion moved like it was nothing.
“Ya’ll were sleepin when I went ta check,” continued Big Mac. “Ya feelin any better?”
“A little” he replied.
“Good ta hear,” said Big Mac with a smile. “Applejack has been worried about ya all day.”
“She was?” questioned Reiver.
“Eeyup, kept asking everypony how ya were, I think she’s taken a shine to ya.”
Reiver was silent; after Applejack brought him in he hadn’t planned to stick. Just get better and leave, now…now he wasn’t so sure, especially after she stuck her neck out for him with Nurse Redheart.
“If ya don’t mind Reiver I have ta get on,” said Big Mac as he turned towards the kitchen, curious as to what he was doing, Reiver decided to follow. In the kitchen he saw some cut lengths of wood stacked against one wall, along with a pile of hinges. Setting down the toolbox Big Mac flipped the catch, causing it to open out into a series of shelves. Using his muzzle to rummage inside the red stallion pulled out a screwdriver and a pack of screws which he set to one side, he then opened the door of one of the lower cupboards. Taking the screwdriver in his hooves he started removing the hinges.
“Umm…do you mind if I watch you for a bit?” asked Reiver. “I don’t really feel like going back to bed just yet.”
“Nope” he replied, taking off the door completely.
So for the next few minutes, Reiver sat and watched the stallion work. It wasn’t the most interesting of activities but Reiver found himself giving it his full attention, observing how Big Mac effortlessly manipulated the tools in his hooves.
As a human he was used to having hands and fingers, so suddenly finding both absent made things very difficult for him, when he first tried to lift a rock he had tried using both hooves but found he couldn't get any traction on its surface. It was only after a few days experimenting that he realised a pony’s hooves had some type of latent magical field surrounding them, this allowed them to hold and manipulate objects It had taken some practice but he had managed to get it so he could pick things up…he just couldn't hold onto them.
“You make it look so easy,” he muttered.
“Pardon?” said Big Mac.
“That” he replied, gesturing at the cupboard. “I can barely hold onto a spoon with one hoof and have to use both of them for anything bigger.” He sighed and tried to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, only to pop himself with a hooftip.
“Ugh! Hooves suck!” he groaned, rubbing his nose.
Big Macintosh couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the colt’s action.
“I wouldn’t say that now young un,” he said. “I’m sure once yer better yer control will recover, I remember when Fluttershy got the feather flu, had ta spoon feed her mahself ‘cause she couldn’t grip anything.”
“I doubt it” replied Reiver. “So…who’s Fluttershy?”
Reiver smirked as the red stallion managed to somehow go even redder, he knew who Fluttershy was of course, he just wanted to test a theory, and possibly embarrass the poor stallion a bit for laughing at him.
“Is she speeeeeeecial?” He asked in a sing song voice, giggling as Big Mac tried to hide his blush and stammer out a response. “Sorry Mac,” he said. "But when you blushed like that I couldn’t resist, don’t worry I won’t say anything.”
Brushing a small tear from his eye, Reiver decided that the stallion had been embarrassed enough for one day and moved to change the subject.
“So are you just replacing the hinges or the whole door?” he said, gesturing to the cut wood.
“Just the hinges on this one” replied the stallion, grateful to be getting away from the topic of Fluttershy. “Some of the others need a new door, that’s why I made those up last night.”
Crossing the kitchen, Reiver took a closer look at the cut wood and saw they were indeed new doors. Like most of the furniture in the Apple household they had an apple design carved into them, in this case it was a weaving pattern of lines expertly carved into the shape of the fruit.
“These are really good” said Reiver, running a hoof across the design.
“Eeyup, I was taught by the best.”
“Who taught you?”
“Pa did, he taught me all sorts of things.” replied the stallion, “He was a crafts-pony, knew how ta build and decorate anything.”
Stopping for a moment Big Mac pulled a picture out from under his halter and passed it to Reiver. It was an old image, the edges were worn and there was no colour to it. It depicted a stallion and a mare standing in front of the Apple home, from the image Reiver saw the stallion was easily a head taller than the mare and built much like Big Mac. He had a familiar looking Stetson perched on his head and was wearing a pair of overalls and a tool belt that was crammed with everything a good crafts-pony would ever need. In comparison the mare had a delicate frame that was offset somewhat by her obvious pregnancy, she wore a wide brimmed sunhat and Reiver could see her cutie mark was falling apple blossom. The stallion had a hoof affectionately draped across her shoulders and both of them were smiling happily.
“That picture was taken shortly after the house was built, till then the family had been living in a small homestead, but after Ma got pregnant Pa decided he wanted something more than a rickety old cabin ta raise his foals.”
“He built this whole thing?” asked Reiver.
“Eeyup, with a little help from the family.”
“What was his name?”
“Macintosh Senior.”
“...so your full name is…”
“Big Macintosh Junior.”
Reivers was sure his eyes just bulged in shock.
“Wow…umm, you’re big for a junior.”
Big Mac chuckled a bit as the colts’ bemusement.
“Wasn’t always this big, I used ta be the smallest pony on the farm, Granny says it was because Ah was early.”
Reiver looked up from the picture, finding it hard to imagine the burly stallion as a weak and helpless foal.
“But you’re not like that now,” he said.
“Eeyup, that’s thanks ta the both of them. Ma looked after me until Ah could barely walk, then Pa made me some braces so Ah could get around.”
“Wow,” replied Reiver. “So, how did you go from braces to having legs like tree trunks?”
“It was Applejack,” he replied. “When she was born I went to the hospital ta see her, she looked so small and helpless that I said to mahself ‘Macintosh Junior, yer a big brother now, an big brothers take care of their little sisters.’ Right then I decided ta make myself the strongest pony I could be. So I started exercising and taking extra chores, it was tough at first but I had Pa and Ma ta help. Ma wasn’t a workhorse but she knew a thing about cooking thanks ta Granny, she made me all sorts a’ meals that helped build me up. Pa made sure I didn’t wear myself out from doing too much work, he taught me how ta pace myself and recognise when a job was too much fer one pony. But he also encouraged me ta push through my barriers, reminding me why I was doing this in the first place”
“Wow" replied Reiver, slightly in awe. “They sound like loving parents.”
Big Macintosh paused.
“They were,” he said, suddenly very quiet.
Reiver realised he had may have just inadvertently upset him; quietly, he walked over and gently put a sympathetic hoof on Big Mac’s leg. Looking down, the stallion was greeted by a small smile from the colt, he returned it before giving Reiver a gentle pat on the head.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s alright young'un" he replied, "Sometimes it's just a mite hard fer me ta talk about."
“Here, you’ll probably want this back” said Reiver as he offered him the photo.
“Thanks,” replied Big Mac, returning it to his halter. “So what about you, yer Pa, he teach ya anything?”
Reiver face fell.
“Oh...he not the teachin type?” replied Big Mac, seeing the colts’ reaction.
“No…not really,” said Reiver sullenly. “More like the ‘walk out on his family type’”.
Big Mac was surprised at this, family was one of the most important things to the Apples, especially with one as large as theirs. Having somepony walk out on their own family was something of a rarity among them.
“Sorry, Ah didn’t mean ta bring it up” he replied.
“It’s alright Mac,” replied Reiver as he slumped down by the kitchen door.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Not really, mentioning my dad always brings back…bad memories.”
Reiver started to talk and before he knew it, he was pouring his heart out to the stallion.
“My dad was…in the Royal Guard, had been before he met my mum. After they got married she went with him wherever he was posted, and after I was born I had to go to. We never spent too long in one place, longest I think we were anywhere was a year and half. Made it difficult to make friends I can tell you.”
He looked up at Big Mac.
“He was hardly at home and rarely came to my birthdays; I remember one year we were going to go to the movies, we waited and waited for hours but he never came home. When he finally did come back I overheard the argument he was having with mum, he hadn’t come home because he had gone to some fundraiser with his superior just so he could get a chance at a promotion.”
Reiver sighed.
“That wasn’t the first time he did that. He would always put his needs over ours, his career always came first, his friends were more important than his wife and children. We thought things might change after he retired, but he had been in the military so long that he just couldn’t cope with civilian life. He got angry when we didn’t do things to his high standards and he hated it when we talked back, he would even tease me for my interests and hobbies. Maybe he thought it was funny, but I certainly didn’t!”
The colt slammed a hoof into the wall in frustration.
“Then one day…one day he just… left, told my mum he had accepted a job abroad and was leaving that day. He didn’t even try to talk about it; he didn’t even tell us that he wasn’t happy with being retired; heck we didn’t know he had applied for a job. I never really got along with him, but I put up with it because my mum loved him, but his leaving….”
He trailed off and Big Macintosh saw him begin to cry.
“She got depression, sometimes wouldn’t leave her room for weeks. Then one day I hear this crash in the kitchen and…and…”
He broke into sobs.
“At first I thought she had slipped, that maybe she was stunned…but…but…”
He couldn’t continue, it was all too much and he broke down.
“Do you know the worst part?” he sniffed. “He didn’t even shed a tear; he just blamed her for making me a ‘softie’. Dad never liked that I didn’t go shooting or hiking and he hated that I didn’t want to join the Guard, I had my own dreams but that didn’t matter to him, he wanted me to be in the army and that was that.”
Big Macintosh couldn’t stand by and leave him like this, so he left his task and wrapped his hooves around Reiver as he wept.
So...the colt was a runaway; he lost his mother and had a father who cared more about his own needs over his son, the thought such a stallion existed made his blood boil. Throughout the Apple family’s’ history they had supported one another through thick and thin and he was no exception, every time he saw his cutie mark he was reminded of that.
“I’m sorry,” sniffled Reiver. “You must think I’m a wimp.”
“Young'un, it’s okay ta cry over yer mother,” he replied. “I must have cried enough tears ta fill a lake when we lost Pa and Ma.”
“I never really got the chance to cry for mum, Dad didn’t tolerate cry babies,” replied the colt as he wiped his eyes with a hoof. “Thanks for listening.”
“No bother” replied the stallion softly. “If ya’ll want ta talk again, I’ll be willin ta listen.”
Releasing Reiver, Big Macintosh went to the counter and passed him a cloth so he could dry his eyes.
“How about you help me with the cabinets,” said Big Mac deciding to get the colts mind off his mother. “It would make the job go faster.”
“Are you sure?” asked Reiver as he dried his eyes. “You know I’m not very good with my hooves.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll just take it slow and I’ll help ya with some of the fiddly bits, what do ya say?” he finished with a grin.
Reiver looked from his hooves to Big Mac and found himself smiling as well, walking over, he slowly picked up one of the screwdrivers in his hooves.
“Okay, you take the lead.”
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nurse Redheart had finally finished typing the last document in what had been a long and tiring day for her, pulling it from the typewriter she double checked her work before adding it to the stack of paperwork that had steadily grown during the course of the day. With a final, exhausted look over the pile of papers that she would inevitably have to sign and then meticulously file, she decided there was only one course of action: a cup of coffee.
Leaving her office she trotted down the sterile hallways of Ponyville General to the staff room, nearest source of caffeinated goodness, pushing open the door she saw Nurse Tenderheart was sitting one of the small tables near the back, a cup of steaming coffee already in her hooves. The smell of the freshly made blend tickled her nostrils, she didn’t care that it tasted like mud, after a long shift coffee was always a welcome relief. Returning to the mission at hoof, Redheart walked straight to the coffee machine that sat on the counters by the back wall.
“You done all your paperwork then Red?” asked Tenderheart as she took a sip.
“Everything is collated, corrected and in the proper order” replied Redheart as she rummaged in the cupboards. “Now if only my visit to the Apples could have been so smooth.”
“So it is true?”
“Whats true?”
“That rumour floating around the hospital that they found a colt in their barn?”
Redheart turned and glared at her fellow nurse, Tenderheart visibly winced as the slightly psychotic eyes of a pony that had a night with little sleep followed by a long day of paperwork was bored into her brain.
“I thought I told you not to tell anypony about that until I had the papers done?”
“I didn’t tell anypony, I…may have vaguely mentioned it to a few colleagues in a passing conversation but I never actually told anypony. Honestly Red, you lock yourself in that office after last night’s emergency teleport from Twilight Sparkle and rumours will start even without my help.”
“I suppose there is no point in denying anything is there,” sighed Redheart. “The Apples did indeed find a colt; he’s malnourished and may have an allergy to something that I can’t determine unless he’s in here. But Applejack won’t let him leave because he’s apparently afraid of doctors, honestly if it were up to me I would have him sedated and moved for his own good.”
Tenderheart frowned at that statement.
“Red, you need to lighten up. If he’s afraid of doctors then maybe Sweet Apple Acres is the best place for him, I’d rather not have you thrown out of medicine for traumatising a small colt. The Apples are good ponies, they’ll look after him.”
“Urgh,” groaned Redheart, mostly because she still hadn’t found the coffee grounds. “Good ponies or not, he is, for all intents and purposes, a homeless colt. I’ll need to assign him a social worker.”
“Any idea who that should be?” asked Tenderheart. “If he’s afraid of doctors then a social worker will probably frighten him, maybe you could get one of the Apples to help?”
“That won’t be necessary,” replied Redheart with a sly grin. “I have the perfect pony in mind for the job, he won’t even know she’s a social worker.”
She would have continued but at that moment their conversation was interrupted by Doctor Stable barging into the staff room, mane and coat matted with sweat. Huffing and panting he staggered past Tendeheart and flopped down on the ragged sofa completely exhausted.
“Rough shift?” asked Tenderheart.
“Only the last hour,” he replied.
“Sorry to hear that” replied Redheart. “I’d make you a coffee but I can’t find the grounds.”
Stables horn glowed weakly and a bag of grounds levitated out from underneath the sofa cushions, Redheart glared at him incredulously.
“That’s my private stash,” he said. “Don’t tell anypony or it’ll disappear as quickly as the regular packets.”
“So what happened?” asked Tenderheart.
“An utter nightmare that’s what happened,” he replied. “I was in my office doing some paperwork when I hear somepony kicking up a storm, next thing I know security and the orderlies come galloping past like Nightmare Moon herself is biting at their hooves!”
“Gracious!” replied Tenderheart.
“So, far from calming down I can actually hear it get worse. Then, just as I get up to investigate, one of the orderlies comes and without so much as a hint to what’s happening, grabs my hoof and drags me full pelt down to the lobby where I see a half starved, maddened stallion thrashing and kicking out at anypony that tries to subdue him.”
“Sweet Celestia, was anypony hurt?” asked Tenderheart.
“Some of the orderlies will have severe bruises and I know of at least one broken limb on the security team,” he sighed. “I’ve got one in for observation after he received a nasty kick to the head.”
“So what happened to him?” asked Redheart, as she finished brewing the coffee.
“I had to use the strongest sleep spell I could think of to sedate him” replied Stable. “I didn’t want to but he was threatening to crush the head of one of the nursing staff with his own hooves, I nearly blacked out myself after using it. I'll tell you he was ranting and raving all sorts of nonsense.”
“Where is he now?” asked Redheart, hoofing the doctor his coffee before taking her own cup.
“Restrained, properly sedated and under observation in intensive care,” he replied. “He is severely dehydrated and malnourished so I suspect he was completely delirious when he entered the hospital.”
“Makes you wonder how he managed to get here in the first place if he’s attacking everypony on sight,” replied Redheart.
“Poor guy,” said Tenderheart. “I wonder what could have happened to him?”
“At this stage I couldn’t tell you,” replied Stable as he took a sip of his coffee. “I will assess his condition further in the morning but right now I could use something to eat and a lie down.”
“Sounds like we both had exhausting days,” replied Redheart thoughtfully. “How about I go into town and get some doughnuts?”
“You’re getting doughnuts?” replied Stable sceptically.
“Tenderheart says I need to lighten up,” she replied with a shrug.
Doctor Stable turned to the other nurse, who nodded in response.
“Well, if it gets me free doughnuts you should lighten up more often,” he replied, reclining on the sofa.
“Don’t push your luck.”
Great chapter once again. I'd say you are treading right on the edge of teen territory, but for now it can stay everyone. None of the issues are explicitly discussed or go into much detail. Clever how Reiver altered his own story to fit Equestria. If I didn't know better, I'd say a few bits have a basis in reality. And, if I may take a shot in the dark, Reiver may not the only human in Equestria, perhaps he has been joined by a relative, who is less than enthusiastic about being there.
4856331 Maaaaaybe he has.
Thanks! I was just about to go to bed when I saw a new chapter coming up. But how needs sleep anyways? It's just a waste of time. (WARNING! Sarcasm detected!)
Awesome chapter again. I think I know how this Stallion in the hospital is. I hope Reiver will getting better with the help from the Apples.
Big Mac seems to do a good job so far
4856377 Thank you for your kind words. . I was concerned about Big Mac as he doesnt really talk much in the series but I feel aa bit more at ease now.
You will have more, soon, right? RIGHT?? :D
Missing paragraph spacing, "begin".
I like how Reiver says "Royal Guard" but then slips at the end and says army.
Huh. Reiver dad in Equestria too (I assume, why else would you have put these two bits in the same chapter)? Interesting twist.
Also I'd say congrats for the feature, but you're not showing up there for me. :(
4856562 curse you spellchecker! I will make the corrections, thanks for pointing it out.
4856785 No prob
I'm calling it. The other stallion is his dad
Hmm... very interesting story. One that I can honestly say is more than a bit addictive for me, and quite enjoyable to read. I look forward to more.
I'm sensing severe levels of "OH SHIT" are going to happen in future chapters. Can't wait to read them!
4857105 Me too
Hm... Reiver has a tragic past. That's pushing it.
I still like the story though. More background ponies!
If hat is Reiver's dad, I'd say that there is a very good chance that whatever passes as social services in Equestria wont be insisting very much for Reiver to be turned over to him...
4858932 no she has an amazing amount of timing
I can proofread and edit for you if you want, just let me know. I've been looking for an editing/proof reading job on the site anyway.
4860781 I am going to try to stick to canon as much as possible, I dont plan to make any confusing social changes so dont worry.
4861149 I would appreciate it, I tend to miss things when I proofread it myself.
4860327 I had a look but cant see it, where was it exactly?
4861461 no problem! Just give me a shout when you need me to do any proof reading.
4858014 Is that just in the latest chapter or in all up to this point? My computer doesn't register it because the spelling is correct even if the context is not.
Eeyup- my theory is that the mad pony is whoever was in the car with Reiver.
Well, let me tell you that the writing is very good enough, no complains there, and the story has a good structure too, you are no rushing descriptions and it is complex enough; the only thing is the passing in time from one day to another and that the canon charecters are OC, try to stick to personalities, or give detailed and understandable reasons for the OC behavior; besides that, wonderful story, I'm definetly going to follow this, just hope you don't take long like before.
4861544
Oh, a kid holding a grudge is certainly plausible, but in this situation there just seems to be too many occurrences which make it less likely. For one, Apple Bloom really doesn't strike me as being the type to hold a grudge (especially to the extent shown here). Second, there have been too many good things happening to her after that which should have offset any possible grudge. Such as seeing him slowly get more and more sick, having him apologize to her the moment he could, having Applejack go to Cheerilee to let her know what had happened meaning she would no longer be in trouble, and what happened was over in just a small amount of time.
It just feels weird that, after everything that happened after the accident, she would still be holding a grudge. Now, that said her being suspicious is fine, and in fact makes sense considering her personality. The only problem is that it was made quite clear that the only reason she seems to be suspicious is due to the accident, and nothing else such as natural curiosity.
Excited to start reading! Sounds promising.
4861954 I think that much is pretty obvious at this point. And I'm 95% sure that it's Reiver's father.
* Four check marks on the first four chapters" i dont remember originally reading this
better continue to see what was so interesting
Ah like Reiver. Ah really like the story's dialog and good writin'. BUT Bedlam and the hinted "crazy car companion" feel unnecessary, distractin' and uninteresting.
Honestly, they sound like unnecessary cheap plot-gimmicks, especially when compared to Reiver's brilliant chemistry with the Apples and CMC.
Mah Advice:
Focus on Reiver, the Apple Family and the CMC. And be extremely hesitant when adding new variables (e.g. yellow eyes, bipolar picture breaking). Do not confuse "plot twists" as high-quality writing. Keep this story honest, simple an' elegant.
Thank you for sharin' this story. An' ah'm eager to read more.
*breaks down door* The Fluttermac Ship is here! Aaaaaaall aboooooard!
But honestly, do I sense a fellow Fluttermac shipper? Fluttermac is my OTP!
*ahem* OTP's and fabulous ships aside… this was a great chapter, hoping more like it come out soon!
4863425 As the author I neither confirm or deny endorsing this ship, that I happen to think its adorable has nothing to do with its inclusion.
4863180 Interesting points, I will take them into consideration with the coming chapters. My plan has the focus mainly on Reiver anyway but I will try not to strive to far from the main story. Thanks for the input I really do appreciate it.
4862100 I'll try to recify that. I have re-read it and seen your point.
4862685 Bedlam is only a side character, he's not going to appear too much as the main focus is Reiver and the Apples. While he does have the evidence he may not be thinking straight with all thats happening. But I can see where your coming from and I will try to address issues like these in future chapters.
4861458
You are my hero!
Also, this was an awesome chapter. It is incredibly rare for a story to have characterization this good for Big Mac. Actually, this story has good character interaction in general. I would definitely say that interaction, characterization, and dialogue are some of your strongest points. Nicely done.
Very good so far. I only found this story today, and already can't wait for the next chapter. As for Reiver's little gushing out, IMO you were a bit too extensive with a few details. Details that may not necessarily carry over into Equestria. I understood having placed his father in the Royal Guard for that matter, but I don't think MLP has movies, TV, or guns. For ponies, why have guns when you have spells? While for TV and movies,Twilight and Spike are spooked by a glowing screen, so I can fairly assume technology isn't on par with ours, or even developed in the same way. Fridges, lights, and other contraptions we see in the show, could easily be powered by magic.
Also if you'd like, I could proofread for you. PM me if you're still looking for one and we can hammer down the specifics
4864116
… So a maybe? No, that sounded like a Yes… Or was it a No? … Gahh I must go read Fluttermac to calm down.
4865598 And it looks like a angry comment, too
I.... I can relate with reiver on a few points, my father was in the army barely home, we moved around a lot and it seemed he was always fighting with my mom, almost sounds like you based reivers dad off of my own, mine just up and left when I was 6, but here I am ten years later not giving a fuck about him but its still a tender subject
moar
I have a feeling the crazy stallion is the other guy in the car that Reiver was talking about...
DUN DUN DUN!
4868209 Three moustaches. You honour me.
4865580
Alright then, I'll wait until you've finished editing this latest chapter before reading it.
4869089 Maybe you could both work together?
4869106
Worth considering, perhaps he can finish his work and then I can give it a second run through to try to find any errors that may have slipped through the cracks.
4867702 what this person said... Um, if that isn't too much bother
4870043 How can I say no to that face.
Oh god..... That BETTER not be who I think it is.... Oh lord.... This will NOT turn out well if I'm right....
Please tell me I'm wrong.......
4863180 This. I have to re-iterate what honeyhoneyhoney said. Love it all except for the whole "crazy man tried to kill me in the car" twist. Also, the yellow eyes and Reiver going crazy thing is kinda over-rated, but it's tolerable I suppose... I just can't imagine that the extra character actually adds anything to the story value. The strength in this story comes from the slice of life focus on Reiver and his struggles. Don't go making this into an adventure fic just because you wanna make it look "cool". Everyday characters are the most relatable. Don't forget that. Veering from the core of your story too much will weaken the quality. In this case, it would weaken it greatly in my opinion. I've dropped plenty of stories before when they veer too much from the core of what made them good in the first place. Try not to trek off into the wilderness on this one. Trust me, you have enough content to work with even without the crazy extra stallion.
4872713 THE DEVIL COMETH