Stuck somewhere between writing funny and sad horsewords. Don't forget to add romance in there!
Magic is an extraordinary element, as Twilight knows. But what if revenge is taken upon her, by somepony with magic which surpasses her own. What if this magic alters her mind? What if this involves a pony she loves? What if this involves Rainbow?
A story which takes Twilight deeper into her mind and memories than she ever wanted to be.
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I feel like it's gonna be a clopfic. I wanna keep on reading though! I doubt it will be :P
Okay.... how about we get out of creepy town?
2751621 No clop. Some psychological stuff, but none of it clop.
2752024 Like the above comment, there is some psychological torment here, which is what I wanted to do. And there is a dark tag for a reason
Well... she does have a point. Tags are made for a reason.
Oh, what's this? A story that's dark but not excessively so? ... There will be stalking of your profile.
Honestly, I like where this story is going, it's dark without having to rely on shock value of gore. With the feeling of suspence, but... I'm not really sure how this is going to turn into Twidash unless Dashie develops Stockholm Syndrome... which I wouldn't mind to be honest, not enough well written dark stories like that in my opinion... I've been on the internet for too long haven't I?
2754053 Thanks for the positive feedback, and the Twidash will come in later trust me
I'm surprised that this has such a lukewarm reaction so far, as I find it to be much better written overall than my two other stories. Perhaps people don't like the odd psychological mind games Twilight is trying to play on Dash.
If you know anyone else who like darker stories and are looking for ones to read, bring them over
It was...interesting, to say the least. Not bad, but interesting, not good either. Gonna suspend judgement for now, as it is first chapter, but, if this gets worse, there will be downvotes.
FEEEEENEEEEEEESH THEEEEEEEEEEEES
...haha.
In all seriousness, I really liked it so far, and wish it wasn't on hiatus- why is that by the way?
I hope you decide to finish this at some point~!
Please for the love of Celestia finish this. The description and images of involved characters are incredibly intriguing. It's very different from your other work, and here that's worked really well. All the possible backstory behind this is simply fascinating and I can't wait to learn what's happened. My hypothesis would be that a revenge driven Trixie has caused Twilight to go insane, or something along those lines. I'm such a great fan of your work as you're literally one of, if not, my favorite fimfiction writers in that I continually enjoy your work, not just a one-off fic. I love how you write both Twilight and Rainbow, especially Rainbow, and Twilight's actions here only drive me myself mad with interest. I'm especially intrigued by the note that her actions here with Dash have all across Equestria. And with Celestia and all of the mane six's involvement, I feel that comment carries more weight than just the thought of a madmare. Any explanation of what brought these actions by Twilight on would be adored, and the repercussions and resolutions to the conflict--I just really want more of this.
I can't really point out any major errs; I did notice a few times where I think you forgot or added an extra word, as the sentence doesn't make logical or grammatical sense, but I could still easily understand it, and these instances were only minor mistakes that didn't subtract from the story. And honestly, I've become a bit used to them as those kind of mistakes appear more frequently in your work than any spelling or such issues.
Please complete this. Pretty please. Liked and favorited.
3187778
Okay scrolling back up I notice that Celestia's icon is not among Twilight, Rainbow, Trixie, and the mane six's, so I must point my own mistake thereof. I don't know why I thought it was, that's kind of a weird thing to mis-see. It's late, and I'm tired, sick, and stupid. Those are my excuses. Still, please finish this.
3187799 I had a very very specific idea on where to take this. This was going to be a real long one, at least 15 chapters or so, and I had a nice idea of how I wanted to take it. The lack of attention and such it got initally got me thinking otherwise on whether or not I wanted to continued it, as well as the very dark nature in writing it. I had to go someplace darker to write this, and I don't know if I want to do something like that.
Right now, I'm not going to do much on it for the foreseeable future. However, in a few months time who knows?
Keep an eye on this, I might choose to do something with it.
Damn, hiatus? Really? Gawd dangit, now I'll never get to know what made Twi fly off her rocker!
Change the word hand to hoof or hooves. This isn't human or anthro so it's going to be hoof. Really want to see what happens next. Why hiatus?! Why?! Great story. Have a like and tracking.