"Why is everything different now? What's happened to me? What do I do now?" If you were in my situation what would you do if you turned into a pastel coloured pony?
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I must say, This story has gotten pretty good, Silentpassion.
Keep on writing
i.imgur.com/tXjgL.gif
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Odd? The original idea was to create a Mother-daughter dynamic between the two. Mark doesn't really have a clue how to deal with children, so shes only doing what her grand mother did with herself at Sunshines age.
I'll do my best to explain it further on in the story.
O_O mysterious shadow creatures? hoooo boy.
*Sunshine here will have a glass of milk and some seedless apple slices* Actually ponies can eat and digest seeds.
mysterious shadow creatures?
...
...
...
NA A FACE OUT!
A HOLD OUT!
A REACH OUT TO THA
TRUTH O MA LIFE!
SEEKING TO SEIZE ON THA WHOLE MOMENT AGAIN!
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So can humans but not very many people like eating them. Frankly I don't see it too differently from cutting crusts off bread in this case.
I haven't finished reading the whole story and I'll let a full review when I'll be done, but:
-Antonia not recognizing the symptom of the transformation. Why? She herself state that every pony had the same but she cannot recognize what she went through. And with all the additional ponies, it should be automatic by now.
And as a side not, I'm surprised the government didn't publish the list of symptom like it's done when there is a pandemic. It's already all over the Medias anyway.
-The DNA being unchanged.
Unless it is a basic spell that can be reversed or cancelled easily by a trained unicorn (I guess I'll see later if it's the case), the DNA should be affected. A lot. It's basically how your cells know how to be and how to make themselves. If their DNA is still their human DNA, the new cell would still interpret it as human DNA and they would slowly reverse to human form, one cell at the time.
-The "it's forever" thing. At this point, they don't know. They don't understand how it happened, they don't know how to reverse it, but they cannot exclude the possibility of finding a cure. Or even that it would just revert by itself after some time.
And even if they could know it is permanent, being that blunt with Shane while he is panicking is unwise and unprofessional form Antonina.
Still a good story so far, it just needs polishing