• Member Since 14th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 27th, 2020

Einhander


Just an old school hybrid spaceship/pony writing some stories.

T

Reviewed by Seattle's Angels on 11/27/13

For being found very, very guilty of crimes against ponies, Trixie is offered a choice by Luna: one year in prison, or probation and a new job: becoming Appleloosa's new Sheriff.

But the conditions of her parole are steep: Rule One: Thou must Protect the Innocent and Uphold the Law. Rule Two: Thou cannot Lie or Boast about things Thou hast not done. Rule Three: Thou may only use thy magic in discharge of thy duties."

If Trixie fails any of the three conditions, she will go to the Crystal Empire Prison for three years. Now, under the watchful eye of Braeburn, she must adjust to her new life as peacekeeper instead of troublemaker, truth-teller instead of busted boaster, hero instead of villain.

Say goodbye to Trixie Lulamoon. Say howdy to Sheriff Trixie C. Tgap.

(No really, that's her new name. It wasn't her idea.)

Takes place in the same 'universe' as Adorkable Love.' However, timeline wise, it takes place before those events. Season Three, after the main events of Magic Duel, but before the apology at the end.

Cover Art by: wackedoutpet

Edited by: Admiral Hoofsome (1st Pass) and SpaceCommie (2nd Pass)

Pre-Read and General Advice Giving by: Cola Bubble Gum

Note: Mainly an adventure with comedic beats, but also dark because there will be some grim elements. It's a Western, and some times ponies get roughed up in the West. Bloody and bruised, but nothing beyond a PG-13.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 54 )

My first reaction? Fuck, I'm gonna read that! I think that's a good start for what may come when I actually start to read.

I never expected to find a Django reference while I was reading ponies but it earned you a favorite, keep it up slick.

Okay, I had no idea there was no Appleloosa group. :ajbemused:

And I am appalled, so I created one. :ajsmug:

Head on over, add a story, join, etc.

APPPPLLLEEEEOOOOSSSAAAA

hey Obsidian raindrop just making sure it is legit for my group and also here to tell you what an amazing group I also like how in this story celly is the one to come around to trixie first rather then luna.

I enjoy this, and demand more.

:yay: Been waiting for this. Great chapter, it looks This will be full of adventure, sweet! :pinkiehappy:

Also, and I'm just nitpicking here, Trixie's magic is pink.

3022427

Upon review of Boast Busters, you are correct! Fixed.

Now the fight begins. She's still going to have to apologize to Twilight Sparkle (again.) I also look forward to when Trixie realizes that she has to do everyday things, like eating and opening doors, without magic as well.:derpytongue2:

So Awesome! /):rainbowkiss:(\

Can we do that again.... with more explosions? :pinkiecrazy:

Your Trixie is really brave, I like that, maybe with a bit too much mettle, but okay; she faced an Ursa Minor after all.

Awesome fight. Why did Luna show up? Was it because the chains came off Trixie? I have a feeling we will see Blackjack and the rest of that group again.

Outstanding. Moar please!!!

Trixie felt like Luna was holding back. "What about Braeburn,"

Can I preread your next chapter?

It's an entertaining story and I look forward to seeing more. Even a nice way of tying in the end from the magic duel. One note from someone who has lived in the southern U.S. most of his life: "Y'all" is plural. It's used when speaking to more than one.

I admit, I was a little confused. I thought that this story was set after Magic Duel, which included after Trixie had already apologized to Twilight. After re-reading the prologue, I realize it was after Twilight's return, but before the arrival of the Saddle Arabians.
Therefore, I am now moving this story from Read it Later to Favorites. I look forward to reading more about Appleloosa's new sheriff, Trixie C. Tgap.
Speaking of the prologue, are we ever going to find out why Slow Drawl helped Trixie? Or why Twilight refused to testify?

3103034

Thanks! I realize it wasn't immediately clear, but i was originally inspired by what, exactly, made Trixie actually apologize, since it seemed like she learned her lesson right quick. Also, I love the idea of Luna in charge of the
Equestrian Justice System.

To your specific questions-

1) Yes, Slow Drawl will come back. Eventually. I've got plans for him.

2) It will be addressed but most likely in another story in the same universe. (Adorkable, probably.)

3103270
You mean, I have to read a different story to find out why Twilight didn't testify.:pinkiegasp:
THAT SUCKS!:raritycry::flutterrage::twilightangry2:

3103904 I'm sorry?

It's not a vital plot point in my outline, since Luna had more than enough to convict.

I promise I won't leave you hanging, but the answer will come sooner in the other story, as Applejack's thread will tie into this story.

This is a Awsoem story please continue.:heart::heart::pinkiehappy:

“If they think Trixie is going to apologize to Twilight, they’ve got another thing coming.”
I have always known this as "if they think that then they have another think coming". I admit there seems to be substantial difference of opinion on this, and it is your story and thus your call, but I consider think/think a much more logical construction, and just as grammatical.* Please PM me if you disagree and want to discuss the matter. Here is a nice Internet post summing up major pro/con arguments and brief rebuttals.
*("Think" has the disadvantage of not being a noun (IMO, even if technically might be), while "thing" has the disadvantage of there not being a first "thing" for there to be another of.)

ya'll
... well what do you know, the debate is fierce here too. I favor "y'all", but I won't fight you on two fronts ... unless you want to!

Edited by: Admirmal Hoofsome
Admiral ... unless you know two of these guys!

But there was right, there was wrong and then there was this...
troll.me/images/rainbow-dash-excited/i-see-what-you-did-there.jpg

teacher was also scarred by the sight of the violent stallion, even if he was on the ground
I do not know if this is an error—but it seems strange to me that he would be "scarred" by that sight instead of "scared", given the context. Can you confirm or deny that this is correct, and if it is, help me understand why he is scarred?

Oh, and if you want to know how to make a super cool em-dash like me instead of doing double hyphens, just hold Alt and type 0151—like so. en-dashes are 0150–like so. Maybe you already know this and are just being lazy. I know I do that a lot.

3103904 Considering the quality of this story and how much I enjoyed it, having that information tucked in another story of his does not seem to me like an incredible hardship.

Slow Drawl is fantastic, as he should be if he may or may not be Jimmy Stewart.

Well, sounds like Trixie's getting an early opportunity to get started on Rule 2. The chains she's still wearing could be a problem, however.

Gotta say, Braeburn whispering "Appppppplllleeelloooosa" made me laugh hard.

I just love Braeburn, he is so much fun to read when he's written well like this.

And there go the chains. Sheriff Trixie is on the job!

It was a good first attempt, Trixie, but not everyone stops a train robbery the first day on the job.

Hmn, kept waiting for the colt to turn out to be a Prince, or something like that. I suppose that's still up in the air since he only mentioned his family and not who his family is.

Ahh, so up until now we've been in the middle of a mid-episode timeskip, that's an interesting idea that works fairly well for the episode in question.

Hmn, there may be a bit of an Apple family fued, but it must not last too long since we see Brae and AJ together at the shortly upcoming reunion. Hopefully the Trixie issue that Dash and AJ have won't last too long, I'm not completely a fan of seeing them portrayed like that.

Trixie shook her head, "No, Trixie was scared out of her mind on the train. It was all an act. Trixie was," her eyes lit up in realization as she said the words, "performing. It was all a show."

That right there is exactly the way to approach this, Trixie. Play to your strengths.

Pretty entertaining story so far, I can't wait to read more of it.

Really like the motivation & character interaction on this on.


Hope to see more of it soon!

This is awesome

I really love this story, but I have to ask when the next update is?


I keep checking on it, hoping to see what happens next. Hope to see more soon.

3344897

November most likely.

If you follow me, I update stuff more frequently:pinkiehappy:

As in, I update when I update.

Pitch perfect, especially with that epic music at the end to imagine over the end credits.

Good thing I discovered this story right around the time you said you'd start updating again!

That was awesome! Liked!:pinkiehappy:

I love Slow Drawl here, it's so rare to see a defense attorney presented sympathetically when his client is guilty as sin.

I do have a problem though - Trixie had nothing to do with bringing the Ursa Minor to Ponyville that was all Snips and Snails doing. There's no reason for her to ever have been charged with anything.

3178536

You know, it's one thing to correct an author's grammar when there are clear mistakes in their word usage. It's a whole different kettle of fish to come in and try to argue they're wrong when the correct usage isn't generally agreed upon. Perhaps you should have payed closer attention to that post you linked:

Please try to keep your cringing to a minimum when you hear the WRONG variant written or uttered in your presence. It's simply good manners, and there are enough WRONG people that they just might gang up on you. It's unknown what percentage of the world has it RIGHT and what percentage has it WRONG -- based on the number of people arguing both sides in this thread, it's probably closer to 50/50 than you think

Hmmm, I like the idea of Trixie working off her penance post-"Magic Duel" this way, but her attitude in this chapter, especially her continued sense of rivalry toward Twilight, just feels off to me. I remember them being on better terms at the end of that episode. She even added some magic fireworks to Twilight's animal-juggling show, but here you have her acting like she ended the episode swearing her revenge and still proclaiming herself the greatest and most powerful thing since sliced bread. I just don't see it fitting.

Slow Drawl was pretty awesome, though.

3549323

I may have gotten the tone wrong, but I assure you, it's word for word what she says in the show. I watched that scene a bunch of times.

3549323

Also, sorry, I realized it's not 100% clear- the first events of magic duel have happened, but not the final scene. The final scene happens here in chapter 5 / True Bit. I play with the timeline a bit.

3548662 Maybe you should have paid closer attention to the post you replied to! It clearly wasn't constructed as "you are wrong, change this", but rather "I see you did this, and I happen to think it should be the other way; we can have a friendly debate on this subject if you like, but please feel free to simply ignore me if you'd rather not"—and the author took the latter choice, which I did not have any problem with.

Very nicely done. I really enjoyed how you depicted Trixie's internal life, and Twilight's relation with her. It was the type of thing I had in mind as a possible sequel to my own Trixie and Twilight fic: Filial. I hope those promised future arcs will happen soon! :twilightsmile:

3103034 Same here. The first chapter threw me off because I didn't realize that Einhander was essentially inserting a stretch of time between Trixie's defeat and her apology within the episode. Now it makes a lot more sense.

New Group Called:
The Einhander Gang
open to all fans of Einhander

I like it. There are lots of Trixie redemption type stories but this one feels more believable than most.

3102006
I also live in the south, and that's not strictly true. In colloquial speech, y'all can be used for both the singular and the plural without anyone noticing. It's just more commonly used for the plural.

It would've been much more intriguing to see events unfold from Braeburn's perspective as he receives his strange job details, rather than cramming it all into perfect past-tense exposition. Couldn't be helped, I suppose.

Such well-written action! It was like watching a movie written by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio...except they would've taken the action outside the train and kept Trixie awake until it was stopped. Boxing the whole sequence into one car kept things more claustrophobic and suspenseful, to say nothing of making the villains more mysterious (and subsequently more dangerous).

Trixie, being inexperienced, is stupid in more than one way. First is the obvious: she doesn't know what most of her next steps should be. Secondly, she also doesn't know when to reign in her efforts. You do NOT engage someone as mean and dangerous as Blackjack in physical combat. They guy knows how to handle shit, and how to kill. Trixie's lucky to have her teeth.

I'm also glad that Trixie didn't achieve any victory against the bandits. She's no hero just yet.

“Excellent. That phrase also had the intended effect. We shall continue to borrow phrases from our relatives to adapt to this new age.”

This line was smegging awesome.

And scratch what I said previously. Trixie's just a hero with a very tarnished personality. I sure hope you'll pick this up again someday. It's even more enjoyable (thank-you, Seattle's Angels) than the other Trixie-centric Western that I read a while ago.

Not to shit on the significance of Trixie's heel-face turn here, but she still had the parole pendant (I'm tempted to say ankle monitor, but that's not her ankle) around her neck. If she'd accepted Blackjack's offer, and if they couldn't take the pendant off her, she wouldn't be able to get very far, and after enough abuses of her magic, broken laws or false boasts, the princesses would've hunted her down like a rabid Diamond Dog.

At the very least, it would've also led the princesses directly to the Black Hat gang. To quote a certain Goddess of Nature, she "finally does something useful."

Edit: *reads Part III*
On second thought, this would complicate things.

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