This is my first attempt at a one shot.
It is basically the story of an almost fully grown stallion going to visit his mother in hospital after a disagreement. Upon visiting her is greeted by the rest of his family who witnessed the argument, they all respond with the cold shoulder. All but the younger brother who is happy to see his older brother is safe.
After getting through their barrage of abuse, he is greeted to his mother lying motionless on a hospital bed...how could any self-respecting son talk to their parent like he did? Would he forgive himself? Would she forgive him? Can they be a happy family again?
Chapters (1)
This story is good.
A nice, short one-shot with an idea that could be expanded on, but doesn't need to be.
Aaand now it's time to point out some mistakes! Forgive me for this...
Add an s to the end of family.
Remove the a, stat should be start.
They're to be changed to there are, uncapitalise If.
Remove apostrophe from tear's.
Passed should be past.
Capitalise after.
Stranger into stronger.
Should be at me.
Instead of too, to. So many two's to choose from!
Well, that went a bit typos galore. I suggest you read over your story closely at least once or twice before posting it - I read over my story chapters at least twice before letting you read them here on Fimfiction, and that irons out a hell of a lot of mistakes.
2664575
Thank you for that. I always write after I have had a drink, guess I forgot to go back and edit it.
2665254
lols. Try to remember to edit next time then.
2665274
Meh. It happens.