• Published 20th Feb 2012
  • 1,214 Views, 28 Comments

The many shattered hearts and lost memories of friendship - JustAnotherBadSonicOC



When the mane 6 start to die.... IT's up to Princess Celestia and Luna to solve this Mystery........

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18
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The past memories and the seconed element is lost

Chapter 1: The Beginning of it all

One Sunny morning in the land of Equestria, A purple unicorn was sleeping in her bed in her treetop library loft, that’s when her assistant Spike woke her up.
“Twilight, wake up, please!” Spike shoutet.
Spike………what is wrong now? It’s… it’s what?” Twilight didn’t hear him.

“It’s …” Spike was interrupted by a pink missile rocketing through the door and right up the stairs, tackling Twilight.
“Pinkie Pie, what the hay was that for?” Twilight looked at the pink pony, slightly aggravated
“Twilight…?” Pinkie seemed worried.
“What?” Twilight cocked her head.

“It’s Fluttershy…. She’s not her normal self today.” Pinkie looked downcast. “
“Pinkie…What makes you think that?”
“She’s not talking... she yelled at me…” Pinkie took a breath.
“Okay.” Twilight nodded.

“She slapped Dashie in the face-” Pinkie was caught off-guard by Twilight’s sudden outburst.
“Wait... she did what!”
“Dashie was trying to talk to her.” Pinkie continued.
“Yeah... and she yelled at her. Ok?” Twilight took deep breaths.
“Then Dashie said that she can tell us anything and we will help her with it. She got really angry and slapped Dashie and now She won’t respond to what I say!” Pinkie sniffled.
“Pinkie Pie!” Twilight got Pinkie’s attention once more.

“What?”
“Did you seriously leave Rainbow Dash just lying there? While she could be seriously injured or she could even possibly be dead!” Twilight was worried
“No silly! I brought Dashie to the hospital on my way here!” Pinkie explained quickly.
“Oh ok! Wait, Why?”
“She was bleeding very badly and her wing looked like it was seriously hurt.”
“Her wing was WHAT!” Twilight boomed.

“Oh it looked very sore and it was bleeding a lot... and it was very far from where it normally was… so I brought her to the hospital…!”
“Pinkie Pie…”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“How long has Rainbows wing looked like that?”
“Oh! About 2 to 3 days.”
“PINKIE PIE!”
“What Twilight?”
“She’s had an injured wing for 2 or 3 days!”
“Yeah she hurt it in a crash by Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Oh Celestia no…”
“What’s wrong Twilight?”
“Pinkie Pie…”
“Yeah, Twilight?”
“Rainbow’s probably not going to make it...”
“What do you mean, Twilight?”
“Pinkie, she’s had an injured wing for a for quite a while… She is probably either going to…pass, or she may never fly again. But whichever happens, Rainbow will be very upset to hear the news…”
“ Twi…” Pinkie sniffled again.
Just then Rarity burst through the door. “Rarity? What’s wrong? Asked Twilight
“I…was…at…the…hospital…to…see…Rainbow…Dash…but…when…I…arrived…I…was…told…that…” Rarity huffed, face bright red and dripping with sweat.
“That what, Rarity?” Twilight observed the alabaster mare.
“That… Girls…” Rarity huffed, trying to catch her breath. “Rainbow Dash has…passed..” Rarity chocked out.
“Are you serious…?” Twilight said, holding back her tears. She had already lost Applejack, and now Rainbow Dash is dead to?
“B…b…but how?” Pinkie pie said as her mane was completely straight, not a good sign.“B…b…but how did Dashie die?”
“She was in such a terrible state when she was in the hospital. She was in so much pain. The poor girl was just so…weak. She was barley managing to stay awake. I was there by her side the whole time she was being treated for her wing. Every time they had to move her wing a little bit, she would scream in pain. She was so tired, She looked like she was ready to slip away at any given moment…” Rarity explained, tears dripping down her face.
Twilight was in tears now. She had felt so bad for Rainbow Dash... She was so upset.
“Dealing with Applejack’s death was hard enough on the cyan Pegasus. She was in tears when they were told she was dead. I remember it the way it exactly happened...” Rarity wiped her tears with a hoof
Some time ago…
“Rainbow dash and Applejack were going to go swimming at the nearby lake, About 3 hours later Big Macintosh was very worried. He and Fluttershy went to go find them, almost an hour before the moon is going to be risen. We were told that the 2 mares were found but they were immediately taken to the hospital.
Applejack was barely alive. Rainbow Dash on the other hand was alive but was just slightly breathing. The poor mare had nearly drowned. Applejack was trying to save her, AJ passed out soon after. The two were underwater for more than three hours. It was amazing that they were even alive, Rainbow Dash on the other hand wasn’t so lucky.
She stopped breathing multiple times. Nurse Red Heart suggested that we let her go. But AJ wouldn’t allow that… She wouldn’t let Dash die, Even if she died for her. And that’s what happened. AJ died on what was the worst day of Rainbow Dash’s life…. Applejack died on…” Twilight didn’t know at first why this day was so terrible to the cyan Pegasus. Rarity continued, “Twilight darling, this day is so terrible to Rainbow Dash because it’s her own birthday today”. Rarity chocked out the words like they were acid. Twilight was shocked, Aj died on Rainbow Dash’s birthday!
Wow… that must suck for rainbow…” Her best friend died on her birthday. The funeral was held a week after the death. Rainbow Dash had gotten very sick over that week, she had been issued to the hospital after Rarity found her unconscious in a clearing. The cyan Pegasus had gotten a severe case of pneumonia, she was certain to die of the deadly illness. But she survived, she got weak overtime though. She could barely fly, that’s when the crash happened. No one even knew her wing was badly injured.
Present day…
“Rarity?”
“Yes, Twilight?” Twilight ran into Rarity’s arms in tears. She asked why.
“Why did Rainbow Dash have to die?”
“Twilight, darling, I don’t know.” Rarity said in the most calming voice she could make out. Rarity had come to develop feelings for the cyan mare, she never told Rainbow Dash. But before Rainbow Dash Slipped Away, She told the white unicorn these words, that where her final words. She said;
”…Rarity.”
“Yes, Rainbow, Is there anything you need Darling?”
“No, Rarity… I know I’m going to die.” Rainbow said weakly. Rarity began to cry as she told Rainbow dash in a panicky tone.
“Rainbow D-Dash, don’t say that!”
“I’m too weak, Rarity.”
“R-Rainbow...” Rarity’s vision fogged with tears. Rainbow lifted a hoof to Rarity’s mouth and said in a soft, quiet voice;
“R…Rarity… I…” Rarity did the same thing Rainbow did to her to hush her, Rarity said ‘I know what you were about to say’.
“Y…You d...did!?”
“Why yes I did Rainbow, and I am going to tell you how I feel about it.” Rainbow’s Heart began to race with the anticipation from Rarity not responding right away. Rainbow Dash Blushed and She felt her Heart race faster than before, that’s when Rarity said; “I…I…I love you too, Rainbow Dash...”

Rainbow’s heart felt like it was about to explode, that’s when it happened. Rainbow’s breathing stopped completely, her body was now cold, and lifeless. Rainbow Dash was dead.
“Rainbow!” Rarity Gasped. In tears, she begged the doctors to try and save her newfound mare-friend. But they were too late. Rainbow’s body had given out on her, She Died a quick, Painless death. It was so tragic though. The cyan mare was as alive as she had ever been over these last few weeks and now she was gone within a second and now she was just a cold, limp, lifeless body of what used to be Rainbow Dash, The Element of Loyalty. Rarity hugged Rainbow’s cold, limp body and said in a soft teary voice,
“Rainbow Dash, Goodbye…” Rarity said as she closed Rainbow’s Beautiful Magenta eyes, which always made Rarity’s heart race whenever she looked into her eyes…. Rarity finished her sentence. “You’re in a better place now where you will be a peace forever”. Rarity Rubbed her face in Rainbow’s Spectrum mane and cried her eyes out until she had to be dragged out of the hospital room. Rarity said; “I’ve already arranged a funeral for her… Can you ask Princess Celestia if we can have it at the Canterlot Royal Gradens?”
“Sure, Rarity.” Twilight hugged her friend.
“Thank you, Twilight!”
“You’re welcome Rarity….SPIKE!!!!” She called for her assistant.
“Yes Twilight?” He ran into the room.
“Can you take a letter for the princess please?”
“Why… Twilight what’s wrong?”
“Spike…. It’s Rainbow Dash…”
“Is she Okay?” Spike asked with a desperate tone in his voice.
“No.” she said. “Spike… Rainbow Dash has passed…” Twilight looked him in the eyes.
“What!? But how?”
“She was weak, Spike, her wing had made her so weak she just passed right by after she...’I shouldn’t tell him about Rainbow’s feelings for Rarity’…well said goodbye to Rarity and us all.” Twilight explained sadly.
“Come here, Twilight.” Spike hugs Twilight in a sweet embrace. He then began the letter to the princess,


Dear Princess Celestia & Luna,

I have some very shocking news regarding Rainbow Dash’s current state…
She just died an hour ago. She didn’t die a long painful death, it was so quick. She was very lively. More lively then she has ever been these last few weeks, But then she just…Slipped away, She died within seconds. She was so weak that her body just gave out on her. It was very tragic that she had to die. But I know she died knowing we would never forget her and we would always cherish her time with us when she was alive, Rarity is already planning her funeral as we speak. But I have to ask you something for her. Can we Bury Rainbow Dash in the Royal Canterlot Gardens? It would be a great honor if we could. But if you don’t want to go and do that we’ll understand? By the way? Do you know if Rainbow’s Parents are alive? Because if they are they should know they Daughter has passed away. So please respond back as soon as you can.

Your most faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.
Spike sent off the letter, and Twilight thought to herself: ‘Why are all my friends dying?! First Applejack, Now Rainbow Dash! Please don’t let my other friends die! I don’t want to lose them Please tell me why!?’

Comments ( 28 )

Plz no criticisim that is really harsh. This took me 4 hours to type up considering that this is my longest chapter yet. well,it is the only chapter for right now. note. if this gets passed moderation, i might not update for a week or 2 maybe longer. Due to school and the factor that i wanna try and at least make this new fic the best one i have evermade.
Btw peeps, i need pepole that will gladly help me revise my upcoming chapters for this fic.
if you love to revise other peeps fics and have a really good way of telling the author what needs fixing and other stuff that you fix after it gets revised in a nice,gentle,non offenseve way of doing it
plz:scootangel:

:ajbemused: are you serious ?

:pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp:no harsh criticisim, but criticisim is encouraged! This took me 3 times to get passed moderation!:pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

What!? A Gal can't be serious and a bit not serious sometimes!? What do you mean by " are you serious" ?

is this a troll fic? :ajbemused:

ehhh Ive read better but this is by far not the worst thing Ive read its just idk im going to have to read it again for my final opion but uhh yaa also I would rewrite that description I mean your pretty much telling the whole story just in the description thats a big no no wheres the suprise? By just reading the description I knew applejack was going to die and exactly how dash died so I wasnt that effected by it you know? It can use some work but I have faith that if you edit this it could be a good story about how celestia and luna try to help twi cope with the loss of her friends it has a lot of potiental its just how you excutied it was wrong not the story its self hope this helps you:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

:twilightangry2::flutterrage:NOOOOOOOOO THIS AIN"T A TROLL FIC! WHAT IS A TROLL FIC?:twilightangry2::flutterrage:

240227:pinkiegasp:Whoops! Sorry!:rainbowderp: Gonna go fix descripsion!:scootangel:

well the description is better but Theirs still no suprise I Know im kinda of nagging but It still reavels to Much Just by reading it I know whos going to die then you pretty much spoiling the next chapters and possible sequal by telling us whos going to be in it a good description for this would be along the lines of " Twilight's Day doesnt start off to good(following for a reason why her day is bad but not spoiling anything about the story such as a headache or the library is a mess you know stuff that would ruin twis day) but it only gets worse when a series of terriable things happen How will she cope with all of this and will luna and celestia be able to help her?" you see By just writing this Im hooking a potiental reader and im not spoiling to much about the story their going to know things arnt going to go the way she wants them to just by the tags im also not telling them anything about other chapters or sqeals

There is only a problem with your chapter, you need to put who talks because I have no idea who is who talking (I don't think he was trying to make a troll fic) you have a good idea about what your writing, just make sure you fix the dialogue parts (I've read worse, but I dont think your fic is bad, just needs a bit of fixing and it'll be great)

-Silverness

:scootangel:I couldn't shorten description cause site went under matinence so i'm doing it now!:yay:

240408 i'll fix it and :rainbowderp:by the way...... I'm a Girl.......:rainbowderp:

240421 woops :twilightoops:sorry bout that VStarRainbow Dash <.<

:twilightsheepish:240439it's okay! Most pepole think i am a guy at first! beacuse it is more common fpr huys to post fan-fics than girls most the the time! this one just got passed moderation and i already sent in another story but that one is a sequel and conclusion of my pinkiedash one shot, Rainbow Colored Cotton-CAndy Hearts!
as i now always say!
:rainbowderp:+:pinkiesmile:=:heart: :pinkiehappy::rainbowhuh:

I'll fix it whenever i have free time! but that won't be that often due to me going to school and having to keep my Pony obbsession on a low profile beacuse they make big deals about that kinda stuff! First pokemon, Now Super mario, then back to pkmn! i won't let them not find out that i like Mlp fim!:pinkiehappy::twilightsheepish::yay::scootangel:
:rainbowderp:+:pinkiesmile:=:heart: :rainbowhuh::pinkiehappy:

240500 I see, well I'm still going to track this to see how it is later one when you update it and yea I guess its true what you say about guys posting more than girls most of the time.

YAY!!!! THE SEQUEL TO MY PINKIE DASH FIC WAS APPROVED!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

240408 was gonna fix it yesterday but my internet wouldn't work so, i couldn't use the internet. But i did get a head start on chapter 2. but it won't be done for a few days or so.
So i'll fix this bit by bit ok? Ya'll Fine with Dat?
Ok! I"m Gonna go read some other fanfics and fix up my 2 PinkieDash One-Shots!
:pinkiesmile:+:rainbowhuh:=:heart:
:twilightblush:+:rainbowderp:=:facehoof::rainbowhuh:

Like most pointed out I'll list the problems I see. First there is nothing telling you who is saying what. So it becomes a jumbled confusion very fast. Then it goes from past tense, to present tense, and gets confusing fast also. There are no paragraphs which make it difficult to read. Then there are random cap 'd words in the middle of a sentence and no spaces where they belong. To many typos to point each one out. It looks like this story was rushed and that you didn't proofread it at all. You should take more time when writing a chapter and I'm positive the quality of it will increase ten-fold. When I first started writing my stories would always start in this quality, but after going through it 5 times, I'd have only a few typos and it was always much better.

My suggestion to you would be to take more time making better quality stories. I'm talking about spending a few days on a story and few hours. Sometimes it's best to leave your old work alone and go on to something new so you can see the progress you've made. These are just tips for you to take if you'd like. I'm not trying to be mean, just want to give you some tips on getting better at writing. Good luck on any future stories. Just noticed you don't that criticism well. But let me just tell you that if you listen to good suggestions you will definitively become a better write in the end.

:trollestia:THIS IS ON HIATUS UNTIL EITHER I GET OUT OF SCHOOL OR WHEN I CAN ACTUALLY DO IT AND NOT GET WRITERS BLOCK! OR UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!:twilightsmile:

277318 :scootangel:I did.:scootangel: :yay:i wrote a AppleDash fic that you can actually tell what they are sayin! and there is alota Song lyrics that i put in so you guys know what song they are singing!:yay:

This will go back on hiatus on April 10th beacuse i go back to school on that day! For chapter 2, i am in fact censoring Dashie's Funeral a bit, with the most sad parts taken out beacuse i can't write very depressing things just yet, this will be my first attempt at an actual depressing chapter.:pinkiesad2:

:pinkiesad2:And yet They found out i like mlp fim anyway.:pinkiecrazy:

:pinkiegasp::twilightsmile:277318 It says it's cancelled for now, that is until i go on summer break, then i will be all over getting it done.:yay: Got some new fics coming in as well.!:pinkiehappy:

Okay! Me re write whole thing? Nope! Gonna Put Up each bit in diffrent chapters!

Also Speaking Key! " means that Pinkie or Spike is talking or responding" : means that Rarity or Aj's Spirit or Conciense is Speaking or etc.: * means that Rainbow's spirit or Conciense or her in a flash back is talking etc.* ( means that the 2 pricesses are talking or etc.) { means that anyone else is talking and Etc. [ means that Twilight is talking or etc.]:scootangel::raritywink::twilightsmile:

In my sister's words " THIS IS THE WORST< POSSIBLEE THING!!!"

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