As the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration approaches, Celestia dares to dream that Luna will be willing to start over.
Companion piece to Luna Loved.
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- Member Since 31st Aug, 2012
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
MyHobby
"For fun" is the best reason to do anything. "The best" is the best way to do everything.
MyHobby
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Honestly, this is the best explanation I've seen as to where Celestia was during the events of Friendship is Magic Part II. But even then, yikes. That, couldn't have been pleasant.
I also love the implication that Celestia wanted Luna to return so that she could make amends. Almost makes me wonder if she was the one behind the stars that aided in her escape. Hey, it's certainly possible.
Overall, nicely done.
That was certainly a touching and very well written story. The narration was accurate, diverse and altogether a pleasure to read. I liked that the title referred to both hurt and joy. I'm not sure I'd have capitalized 'Wept,' though.
I loved that, through the whole ordeal, through the horrible torture of loneliness and guilt, of seeing Luna is still possessed by jealousy, of being banished to the sun, Celestia never once thought about herself. She only regretted her sister, not being able to redeem and reunite with her, and the fate of her beloved subjects suffering under eternal night.
It does Celestia justice.
As I said, I loved the narration. I'll mention the lines I enjoyed most, starting with the one I found the absolute best of the story;
'It was a day a full thousand years old.'
This one just blew me away.
Here are the others;
'The stars sparkled against the blues and purples of the cosmos, whispering to each other in tones nopony could ever understand,'
'and she allowed hope to well up within her,'
'Celestia’s blood ran hot as her eyes backtracked over the text. No. No, the prophecy must come true! It must!'
'She wrote swiftly and meaningfully, hiding her intentions under a shroud of humor,'
'The warm summer night fell over her kingdom softly, the stars peeking out individually,'
'As the witching hour passed,'
'Celestia dared to hope once more. “Yes. Yes, Luna, I’m here!”'
'“Do you have any idea how lonely it is to spend a thousand years alone!?”
“Yes!” Celestia shouted. “To watch generation after generation pass me by, to see friends die and die again, to know that the only person who could understand what I’m going through is locked up by my own doing? Yes, I know how it feels to be alone!”
'a lip cocked in the beginning of a sneer,'
'Celestia did not react; she stood stock still with a look of agony on her face as her sister thundered on,'
'“I’m not alone, Luna.” Celestia walked up to her nemesis, her eyes hard and her mouth trembling. “I am here, right beside my best friend in the whole world,”'
'Celestia stood alone,'
'The sun rose, revealing a country thankful for daylight’s return,'
'She once again asked Luna to return, to be free…
To be her friend'
and
'And there, in the ruins of their once-grand palace, deep within the Everfree, in the highest room of the tallest tower, Celestia and Luna touched for the first time in a thousand years.
Celestia wept with joy.'
I did notice a few mistakes;
'Perhaps it was fitting, she mused, for everything to end where it had begun so long ago.
Luna. How long had it been since she heard that name?' seems to lack a space between the two paragraphs (at least on my screen)
and
'Celestia’s heat skipped a beat; she had not heard that voice in so long, so very long,' where 'heat' should be 'heart.'
Well, this was very heart-warming to see!
To see Celestia in the moments before the return of her sister, and her attempt to bring her back to her senses. Her obvious failure to do so, and moreover, where she'd been in the time between until the Elements restored Luna. Honestly, I loved this, and your writing was exceptionally good! Hopefully this will get the recognition it deserves!
2629824
My thoughts when writing that part amounted to: "What does Hell feel like?"
My headcanon constantly dips between Celestia setting her free, and that it's merely about the lifetime of the spell. Like, that's how long the imprisonment spell was supposed to last.
Either way, Celestia had half a hoof in it.
Thank you, kindly!
2629835
Thank you! I always like to add a twist to people's expectations.
Me either, but those are the rules of titles. Capitalize all words besides to, and, etc...
Celestia rocks, hands and hooves down. She's a classic hero, a paragon of virtue, a real role model. I'm proud to have done her justice, as you say.
You know, it's funny, most of the narration you cited as your favorites were things that I was nervous about. I constantly worried that I was dipping over the edge of good writing into "Purple Prose Purgatory."
I guess i'm just my own worst critic, eh? It's the best kinda critic to have!
I fixed the mistakes pronto! Thank you for pointing them out, and thank you for enjoying the read!
2630868
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! It was a pleasure to write, despite my purple prose fears.
It's already gotten far more interest than I expected, if that's any indication.
Thank you for the well wishes!
Very well done, I don't see why anyone disliked this story.
2633909
Thank you very much! I'm glad you found it enjoyable.
Off the top of my head...
It has a more flowery style of writing, which is not highly popular in this day and age...
It's labeled as sad, but it might not have tugged at their heartstrings for one reason or another...
It shows Celestia as noble, caring, and powerful, which many see as a boring mix...
They may have seen it before I fixed a small formatting mistake and one spelling mistake...
They saw that it had two likes, and are of the mindset that likes/dislikes should be even...
At this point, I'm just happy to see that it got a good reception.
2633909 I think some people are stuck in "auto-dislike" mode, and can't do anything else.
They're idiots.
In the A/N, I tend to think like that too. I also plan on practicing a bit with my next story in emotional writing.
2661041
Well, like I said, there are reasons for disliking this. You can't please everyone.
2713738
More power to you! It's a really interesting aspect of storytelling to focus on, I'll say that.
Eh, this was decent. One thing I liked is how Luna cut Celestia right off when she tried to compare the extent of their loneliness. I've seen way to many authors go down that road. Pony X suffers, but instead of accepting it, Pony Y has to bring in how much they, in turn, has suffered, as though talking about how much Y suffered will eliminate the pain that X went through.
2832854
Thanks! "Decent" is about how i'd categorize it, too.
It probably wouldn't have hurt to work on it for several more weeks.
Yeah, if someone's angry they're not gonna shut up just because someone else is having a pity-party. That kinda behavior is only going to cause frustration.
In Celestia's defense, she meant well, even if her methods left something to be desired. We all know what kinda road good intentions pave if not used carefully. If she really thought about it beforehoof, she could have probably picked a better counter than "Hey, my life sucked, too!"
Thank you for the comment!
Congratulations. This story has good enough grammar to be added to the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive directory of grammatically correct stories on FIMFiction.
3094892
Radical! Thanks for the thumbs up!