Scootaloo is living a good life right now. She is able to fly quite well now thanks to Rainbow Dash's assistance and is getting better and better at it. She has her own special somepony, Rumble, and while they aren't the most romantic couple in the world, he is somebody Scootaloo knows she can fly with at any time. All and all she is living a pretty good life.
And Diamond Tiara does not like that. As she watches Scootaloo from afar she is jealous over all Scootaloo has managed to accomplish and all the friends she has. So as soon as Silver Spoon comes back with new look that makes colts drool, Diamond Tiara hatches a plan. To steal Rumble away from Scootaloo.
Chapters (8)
Wow.. you did a lot of title changes.
2625995 Yeah. Actually at first this fic had a title that I was sure of, but then I decided to change the plot a bit and the title didn't work for that plot, and then I just wasn't sure what to call it after that. But now I have this title, and I think it really fits. Especially for a sub plot that will happen during this fic.
You're pumping out all of these great stories so fast! I love this! Keep up the great writing and I shall keep on adding them to my favorites!
2626174 Thanks.
Stallions would be the adults, so... pedophillia? I haven't read it yet, so I don't know if you're doing the whole "x years in the future" thing.
Edit: Finished reading... not sure what to say. if it's early teenage years then I hold my point. if not, and they're near graduates, then I'd be fine... The ambiguity is what kills me.
2633897 Well first off I do not support pedophilia. Second, I'd say their probably somewhere around 15. The problem I have is colt sound too young and immature, and stallion sounds too old, and there is nothing for teenager. Though since I use coltfriend I should probably put colt there. Thanks for pointing that out.
2634440
No problem, I just figured if I made that assumption then someone else might as well, and seeing something that even vaguely resembles pedophilia sends up red flags for most readers.
The story is quite good so far, and the idea of Silver Spoon going from an average filly to a drop dead gorgeous... uh... teenage filly is both funny and interesting.
Wow, you're right, teenage pronouns really are hard in this fandom.
Edit: Just finished researching, apparently colt and filly are terms that extend into adolescence, so colt and filly would be the correct terms.
2634610 Well thanks for telling me then. I don't want it to come across the wrong way. I think I'll try and remember to stick with colt and filly from now on.
2634940
Just a guy helping another guy do the best he can, hope to see more out of this soon.
nice
i just cant imagine silver spoon differently.
The out of context game is so fun, isn't it?
Sweetie's kind of become a bully herself, eh? She needs to take a good long look in the mirror and decide whether threatening ponies left and right is the way to go. Especially since neither Diamond Tiara nor Silver Spoon ever seemed to be the violent sort. The comparison between them might not end up in her favour.
2649187 I'm trying and failing at getting an idea of what your saying. But then again since I wrote it it's hard for me to take that out of context.
2649334 Thank you. I was hoping someone would notice Sweetie Belle's behavior is a little harsh (so yes, that was intentional and I wanted her to come off this way). As Rumble said, Sweetie Belle has become somewhat of a diva that want's to get what she wants. And I want you to remember the context concerning Sweetie Belle during this fic: Sweetie Belle having relationship problems with Pipsqueak because Pip is having trouble deciding between Sweetie Belle and Dinky. That is good to remember for her emotional state throughout most of the fic and her motivation for a lot of what she is going to do.
2649443
It was a reference to the old "Wingboner" meme. Add in the fact that you actually used the word erect to describe it and follow up by having him look at Sweetie Belle and the joke, while a bit immature, is pretty easy to get.
2649543 Oh yeah, that. To be honest, I usually ignored that meme since it never made any biological sense to me, and I never saw a point to it anyways.
But yeah, I guess if you want to take that out of context, that would be really awkward. But Sweetie Belle did say if Rumble even tried to start a relationship with her, she would give him heck for it.
2649635
Of course, that would imply he could actually be stupid enough to ask her out. As revenge for abandoning one of her best friends, she would agree and insist that their first date be a night of nothing but her cooking.
There are some things that no man or pony can survive, that's one of them.
This will be fun.
2649689 Then I guess justice
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
is served.
2651606
That was beautiful. Hilariously beautiful.
OH MY GOD RUMBLE WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN
2649468
Oh, definitely. And while for short a moment I'd even wondered if perhaps her behaviour is what drove Pipsqueak away, I did get a sense that it was the other way around. Though it's probably not helping now, either. That isn't something I'd want to tell her at the moment; not because I'd be scared of what she might do, but because I doubt that she's in the right state to take that kind of criticism, helpful as though it might be. She'd only block it out. Sometimes you can't stop people from making their own mistakes.
Diamond Tiara walked Silver Spoon-it sounds like Silver Spoon is Diamond Tiara's pet.
I think you meant Diamond Tiara there.
2680269 I'm sure a fic with that premise exists somewhere.
2680311
Fixed. Thanks.
Uh... What
? You may need to check your grammar there.
You know what else I got? CHILDREN'S TRADING CARDS!
2681700 This chapter went through a few rewrites and if I remember right that line just didn't work for me the five times I rewrote it. I thought I got it right, but it looks like I didn't. Fixed, thanks.
Children's Card Games on Scooters.
EDIT: and by rewrites I mean that when working on a chapter, there are times when I'm stuck while trying to continue and at those time I'll write a line, delete it, write another line, delete some of it, write some more, and on and on until I feel like I get it right.
2681832
You have no idea how much I love you right now
.
I really enjoy the development you're giving to the characters and I'm really curious about Silver Spoons time between leaving Ponyville and this story. And one question that I seem to bring up to myself in every chapter is "Can Diamond go any lower?" And every time the answer is always "You better believe she can." You're doing a good job of capturing her in an antagonistic light, but not one that falls into the common cliches. She seems more jealous and lonely than actively malicious. This is good stuff, keep it up!
2682874 We'll learn a bit more about Silver Spoon as the fic goes on. As for DT, that;s sort of what I'm going for. (While I don't know the cliches) I don't imagine she is mean for the sake of being mean, because that isn't really motivation enough. Most of the time evil characters that I like best have some motivation for their intents, which always makes them more interesting. Especially if you can almost sympathize with their motivation, which adds a whole level of feeling towards the antagonist.
(Note to self: Write a villain like that and make a fic about it.)
2694951 god sum it up in 10 words
cool story can't wait to see more
Is High Score/Button Mash the kid that is playing the video game in the perfect stallion song from Hearts and Hooves day?
2699817 Yeah that's him.
What you typed.
What I was thinking when I read it.
2699944
Well then....Scootaloo apparently has very strange taste in colts.
2700139
Came from "I have no mouth and I must scream". As soon as I saw the words "Scream" and "Couldn't do anything" near each other I couldn't resist.
What's Murphy's Law?
2708859 Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
2708901 It shall be revealed eventually. I think. Maybe. (It totally will)
Where is Applebloom?
I assume Silver Spoon changed her looks because she was being bullied over it. And her friend did help her.
2711326 I was wondering when somebody would ask that. ...That doesn't mean I'm going to answer it but I was waiting for somebody to notice the distinct lack of Apple Bloom.
2711733 Ehh...kinda but not really. I'll go more into just what happened to Silver Spoon in the next chapter. Speaking of which...
2704895 The next chapter should hopefully come out today.
Dang bro, you're pumping these out pretty quickly. You're going to have to make a list of what order to read your stories in. I can't wait to read more of these as you write them though.
2714179 You mean this list? I decided a while ago that since my fics all take place within the same continuity that I would make a blog post stating the chronological order of my fics. And In plan on updating it every time I make a new fic.
2714214
I noticed the blog about 3 minutes after I left my comment. Anywho, this is a pretty great series you have going on. I look forward to seeing what else that mind of yours can come up with.
I can't begin to explain how much I despise this trope. It's almost never done well in any fiction, always amounting to "because screw you, cliche plot". It's this kind of moment that sends me into intense nerd rage and pointless rants. I really hope you can pull it off well in spite of this, but really, that whole exchange is just a really poor excuse to cover up the "why don't you just explain it?" plot hole and could be done in a different way... Really, any way is better than that.
As for what I liked... just about everything else. It's not perfect, but it's still extremely high quality. I enjoyed the conversation between Silver Spoon and Rumble, as well as the interesting explanation of Silver Spoon's cutie mark. The bullying explanation also didn't feel rushed or used as some sort of excuse to drive the plot, and I applaud you for that. But really, the "I refuse to listen to your explanation," bit is just lazy, I really would have to suggest a rewrite of that bit if you ever think of going back.
I don't care if you didn't want a critic in the comments, you're getting one anyway!
...And typing the word Silver capitalized has got me thinking of Silver the Hedgehog. Great. I'm going to have "It's no use!" In my head for weeks.
2714712 I don't mind critiques. Writing is something that, while I have no plans on doing it professionally, is something I'll probably do as a hobby. And since I want to get better at it, Critiques help with that.
As I mentioned before, I really don't know all of the cliches because I don't really look at something and see cliche (except for amnesia, but since Pokemon Mystery Dungeon does that and it's my favorite VG series I can forgive it). The idea behind that wasn't to fill up any plot-hole or at least in my mind, but it was to show mostly that Sweetie Belle is more angry about the whole situation then Scootaloo, and to show that Rumble still wants to explain even though he doesn't really have a good explanation. In my mind it was more character exposition then "we have a plot hole to fill up so let's do this."
I guess what I could have done is actually have Rumble explain what he knows, and then have Sweetie Belle shoot it down because it is too weak of an argument, but I wanted to show that Sweetie Belle didn't even want to hear what Rumble had to say.
As for the rest, thanks. As I mentioned so many times, I don't really know how not to make an excuse to drive the plot, I just write what I write, so it's nice that I get it mostly right. To tell you the truth though I was worried that the bullying explanation was too slow and long.
Trust me, I've been tempted to put that reference somewhere within this fic. I usually like to leave a reference or two within the fic (originally I planned on having DT say "Screw the rules, I have bits!" around chapter 3 somewhere but wasn't able to put it in). I like adding an extra layer of comedy in my fics when it is appropriate since I do enjoy a good laugh and giving others a good laugh. Which makes me wonder why I don't write a lot of it.