The Writers' Group56,467 stories ·9,300 members
Ponyville is plagued by a thick blanket of suffocating snow that gives no signs of stopping. Desperate for answers and solutions, the Mane Six scramble to take control of the situation. However, the storm forces each pony to deal with problems close to home as they each fight their own battles before the clock starts to run out. With each one of the mares discovering different pieces of the puzzle, they try to weather the storm and put an end to darkness once again.
Page generated in 0.1 seconds
Total duration
1,111 users online
2,157,648 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Winter has come...
Seems good.
2662510
Thank you! I'm really excited to work more on this story. I think it's really going to pick up once I start filling in more chapters!!
A very good start, I have only one complaint. The intro scene seems to be just a bit off. Not exactly in a way that's bad, it just seems like it's... there. I can tell from the description of the black stone alone that the scene is important, but I ask myself a lot of questions, like "Where did they search?", "Why did they split up?", and "Was Scootaloo affected by the rock the same way Sweetie Belle was? (and you made it obvious that was the cause of Sweetie Belle's bizarre dialogue at the end)" I'm going to guess that the last of these will be answered in the later chapters, but the others are completely unanswered. They may seem minor, but without answering them it sort of feels like the story started in the second scene, with a few introductory details missing. Still a great start, I just thought that needed to be addressed. This is my personal opinion on what this fic missed, you are free to ignore or disagree.
Hope I was able to help!
2662697
I'm really glad you brought that up, actually. I was thinking along the same lines, and I'll tell you my thoughts behind it. My plan now is to have the next chapters follow each pony individually. In each one, I plan to have a "pre-snowfall" part to each chapter not only helping to frame the "post-snow" situations and giving more information throughout, but to also use as a vehicle to explain things like this. However, if this doesn't seem like an effective way to deal with this, I may think about going into more detail before I publish the next chapter.
Thank you so much for your comment and critique!! And I'm really glad you did enjoy it!!
I'll give it a read once i find the time to sit down again.
I hope you have some Spike/Twilight moments in this story...
Oh Twilight. Poor, poor Twilight. You really have no idea what you're getting into.
You need more consistency in your paragraph structure. Some is one large wall of text. Some has proper spacing. All in all it's random and not in a good way. Other than that it's a good fic. I'm going to get started on the next chapter, but please work on getting a consistent paragraph structure.