An Old World for Fluttershy
Fluttershy flipped the butterfly pendant back and forth between her hooves. Her eyes narrowed in and focused past the old necklace charm to the stone floor. Her face was glazed over with a blank stare as her wings began to shuffle at her sides. The throne room was shrouded in unforgiving darkness, lit by a candlestick against the far wall. With each creak or whine of the wind, her ears twitched to pull in the sound. The daylight had long faded from the windows and Fluttershy’s already cavernous chambers seemed like an endless night. The spent Element of Kindness slipped from her hooves and clattered to the ground, resonating brilliant, crystalline *klinks* as it skipped.
“He’s late, Angel,” she said. Her voice was quickly consumed by the vast space in the room. “I really hope he hasn’t forgotten how important this is.” There was no response to her comment. In fact, no creatures were keeping Fluttershy company at all. “I know he’ll come, Angel,” she said to the howling winds, “he has to.” A radiant, golden light enveloped the fallen charm as her horn began to similarly glow. It lifted, twirled, and darted back into Fluttershy’s grasp. “He has to.”
Discord strolled down the halls of Canterlot Castle with a sharp whistle and a skip in his step. “Oh my! Looking good,” he said, winking at the familiar stained glass window of himself. The glass Discord twisted around and curtsied back as the real one gave a rumbling chuckle and continued down the hall. To keep his love of chaos at bay over the past few centuries, he had gotten into a habit of amusing himself with his magic when no one else was watching. For this, it was quite common to lose track of Discord’s whereabouts for days or weeks at a time. He pulled a banana from a candlestick holder and began breathing in the peel as he neared the front door of Fluttershy’s chambers. His wide-toothed grin faded away as his paw neared the handle of the door. He slouched over and closed his eyes for several seconds before pulling the handle and swinging the door wide open.
“Ah! If it isn't my little Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy paced back and forth in front of her modest cottage, taking twice as many steps of a typical trot. Her eyes kept darting down each side of the road, and her teeth began to clack and creak under constant grinding. “Oh Angel, what could be keeping Twilight?” she muttered under the ambient noises that seeped from the Everfree Forest. Angel was staring down one of Fluttershy’s chickens from behind the wire with furrowed brow and narrowed eyes. He didn’t even break his gaze when he gave an exaggerated shrug in response. As if the day hadn’t been worrisome enough already, Fluttershy thought. She paused and abruptly dropped her flank to the grass, shaking off the nearby dewdrops. The sun had nearly set as the cool air began to drift through, bringing with them images of the day, flashing in her mind. Rarity dropped Opalescence off in the morning, then Applejack tore Fluttershy away from a new litter of squirrels to negotiate the return of the east field from some mischievous badgers, then the chickens got loose again and made a mess of her house, then… the images trailed on. Those alone may be a typical day, yes, but through each task, Twilight’s words from last night rang in her head.
“I need to speak to you… in private. It’s really really really important.”
Fluttershy could only hang her mouth slightly open and watch Twilight walk away. “I’ll swing by your cottage tomorrow, okay?” she called back before shutting the door to the library. No pony had ever needed a private conversation with her before. Until then, anything somepony wanted to say to her could be easily said among any and all of her friends.
Fluttershy stood again and paced a few steps before sitting back down. Silence hung in the air like thick curtains as she could hear her blood rushing past her ears. Finally, she saw the familiar hair of Twilight Sparkle bob up and down from the edge of the hill. Fluttershy’s eyes darted around and fixed on the nearby bush. Her muscles tensed as she prepared to leap in, but she forced herself to stomp back on the road. She started biting her hoof as Twilight came more into focus. Her expression was long with a narrowed brow. Her trot had purpose. Twilight had the walk of a mare with an important task.
“Fluttershy, sorry it’s so late,” Twilight said.
“Oh, no it’s fine, really.”
“Well, I suppose I should just come out and say it.”
“O-okay.”
Twilight sat next to Fluttershy and lost herself in the horizon. “When I became a princess,” she said, “I was told two things. The first was to always do good for ponies and ponykind through everything I do.” She paused for a few moments, watching a flock of birds change trees. “And the second was to make sure I didn’t live this life alone.”
Fluttershy blinked several times, eyes darting back and forth between Twilight and the view.
“Friendship is the most important thing to me in all of Equestria,” Twilight continued. “And while I wish I could keep all of my friends forever, I know I can only choose one for the task. It’s taken me months of study and thought, for all of you have your strengths and….”
Fluttershy was finding it hard to focus on Twilight’s words. It sounded like she was telling Fluttershy that she can’t see her anymore. That she had to go away and could only take one friend with her. Probably Applejack, she thought. Twilight could always trust in her honesty. Or it’s probably Rainbow Dash, her loyalty never wavering during hard times. To be honest, they’d all be great choices.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy snapped out of her thoughts and turned to face her.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just…” she trailed off.
“It’s okay. I was just getting to the reason I needed to talk to you. You see, I know I’ll be spending so much time still studying magic and ways to make sure Equestria is the best it can be. But while my heart may be in the right place, I know that the people will need a leader who can show them how sweet this world can be. A princess to show them the true meaning of Kindness. Fluttershy, I need you by my side. Do you think you could live this life with me? For ponies everywhere?”
Fluttershy’s mouth dropped as her eyes widened. No words could leave her lips.
“I don’t want to pressure you,” said Twilight. She rose to her hooves and began slowly making her way down the road. “Just, think about it, okay? Take all the time you need.”
Fluttershy wanted to deny it. She wanted to list off all the reasons why she was too weak, too cowardly to accept such an important role. But all she could do was watch Twilight with a haunted look as she vanished down the hill. In the sea of doubt that flooded her head, one seed began to grow. Twilight’s the smartest pony I know, and if she trusts that I can do it…
“My absolute favorite princess, what can I do for you today?” Discord asked. The light from the hallway flooded into the room, revealing a chamber with no ponies, no paint, no decorations, and no furniture other than Princess Fluttershy and her throne. The stone floor was beaten with claw marks and scratches from countless years of constant companions, but no critter graced her presence now. Scraps of battered tapestries hung pitifully from untold heights, and only splotches of crusted, dingy paint mark where once brilliant murals graced the walls. The light peaked in just enough to reveal Fluttershy's swollen eyes, surrounded by dark rings of lonely insomnia. Her tired gaze burned a hole through Discord as he took her sight in with sad eyes and bitten lip. Where her coat had once mimicked sunlight on a wonderful spring day, now it seemed pale and matted from constant neglect. Her once elegant mane now seems like an overused broom, with a sparse trail of hair falling straight down one side. Even her hooves seemed cracked and splintered.
“How long has it been?” Fluttershy asked.
“Since when? Hearth’s Warming? About 2 months…” Discord said. He attempted raising the mood in his voice.
“How long has it been?” She asked again.
“Oh, I don’t know. Time is just one big blur by now.”
“I can’t remember how long it’s been.”
“To be honest, we’ve all just gotten into a habit of saying ‘a thousand years’ for everything.”
“I know. It’s just… how long has it really been?”
“I really don’t know, Fluttershy. A very long time,” Discord answered, dropping his upbeat tone.
Fluttershy’s eyes welled up with tears as she turned away from Discord. He reached out a claw, mouth hanging open, but stopped himself and stood up straight.
“It was so wonderful at first,” Fluttershy said, facing Discord again. Her horn began to glow as images ripped their way into the air. First, images of Fluttershy’s coronation. Then, of her chambers, filled with many different creatures. “It was so exciting. Everypony was so happy for me. I filled my chambers with smiling ponies and all the cute critters I could help give a home. I was always surrounded by friends. All of Equestria soon became my family.” Fluttershy’s gaze hit the floor and she slumped in her throne. “But even back then, I just didn’t have enough kindness. Not enough for everyone.”
The images switched over to ponies yelling at each other over disputes over land and rights. It showed Fluttershy’s kind smile overshadowed by wealthy ponies taking advantage of the poor and streets of ponies locking their doors at night. “And then, something I was never prepared for…”
The light seemed to suck out of the room as only the dim glitter of her horn and magical images seemed to glow. Raindrops began to fall in the room as the image flipped over to show Fluttershy and Twilight crying into each other’s arms next to a stone memorial. The statue showed the other 4 members of the original gang standing back to back with their elements of harmony fixed to the stone. The statue of Rarity was carved to show her wearing the same dress she wore to the Grand Galloping Gala the first time she went. Applejack, with her trademark hat, was shown eating an apple. It was by Twilight’s request that Pinkie Pie’s statue would break tradition to have the biggest smile the carvers could dream up. And Rainbow Dash was the only one painted in full color, brilliantly spreading a rainbow across the garden surrounding the memorial. The image showed the statues appearing to grow older and weather away in mere seconds, all while Twilight and Fluttershy continued hugging each other with tears down their cheeks.
"We both knew they would each grow old and leave us," Fluttershy said, "but we thought we'd be ready. We thought knowing they each lived a full, happy life would be enough."
Discord let out a sigh as he met Fluttershy's gaze one again. "Fluttershy," he said, "it's the life we choose."
Fluttershy rose to her hooves and took a step forward, "and I have made another choice."
The image flipped one more time. This time, Fluttershy said nothing as the picture came into view. It showed two reclusive princesses, staying separated from the world as well as each other. The creatures Fluttershy cared for so much began to slowly vanish from the room faster than they were being replaced until nothing was left. It showed Celestia and Luna standing watch over their vast kingdom as the two broken ponies took up space in their castle. And finally, it rested on Discord’s own face, mere inches away from Fluttershy, whispering something in her ear. Discord visibly flinched at the image, almost shielding his eyes.
“You made me a promise that day,” Fluttershy said.
“I don’t recall saying anything,” Discord said. He kicked at the ground as a thick layer of dust swept across the floor.
“Y-you couldn’t have forgotten!” Fluttershy's knees wobbled; she held herself steady with one arm, holding a hoof up to her mouth with the other. “I can’t even make myself forget for one second.”
Discord paused. “Well, it was more of an offer… an offer you declined if I remember correctly.”
“But you promised I could always do it. ‘It will always be on the table.’ Those were your words.”
Discord took a few steps into her room, shutting the door behind him. “Don’t make me do it,” he said, walking right in front of her, “of all the things I’ve done in this world, don’t make me do that, Fluttershy.” His expression turned as soft eyes fixed on the empty shell in front of him. Fluttershy dropped to the floor, taking deep sobs as trails of tears ran onto the floor. Discord watched her smash the ground a few times with her hoof, sobbing too hard to make real words. His eyes shifted to his lion’s paw as he brought it up to eye level. A single tear fell down his face. “Oh Fluttershy, you really know how to tug at the ole heartstrings. You know I’d do anything to make you smile again.” His eyes fixed back on her as he kneeled down to her level. He took his eagle claw and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Even if it means never speaking to you again, I’ll put a smile back on that face.”
Fluttershy’s eyes were puffed and red. She met Discord’s gaze, sniffled, then wiped a few tears from her eyes. With her other hoof, she touched his shoulder, then leaned in and kissed his cheek. Discord moved her hoof from him and stood. He appeared to tower over her as he whispered, “close your eyes, my friend, you’ll be home soon.” Fluttershy closed her eyes, but her sniffles continued. Discord took in what he saw, the last moment of Fluttershy as he knew her. He sighed as another tear fell. He snapped his fingers.
A bright light filled to the corners of the room and held for several seconds before descending and fading away. Discord had already made his way to the door, “Now remember, come find me when you want to come back to the castle.”
Fluttershy blinked several times, surrounded by the same dingy room. “Wait! Nothing’s changed. I’m still here. Wait!” she yelled. Discord gave her a wink followed by a gloomy frown as he walked out and shut the door. “WAIT!”
“Alright alright already! Gosh!” a voice resonated from behind Fluttershy. It seemed comforting, almost familiar, but definitely not Discord. Fluttershy turned around to find the back wall replaced with a line of trees. She scratched the top of her head as she tried to make sense of things. A flock of birds flew out of the trees and swept past her, taking her gaze back around the room. Except this time, the room had fully vanished. Instead, Fluttershy was standing on a dirt path with forest on either side. The path had a oddly calming, familiar presence to it. Though the situation was far from normal, she relaxed her shoulders and pulled at the soft soil around her hooves.
“Up here, scaredy cat!” the voice said. She knew she had heard it before. It was too familiar. “You couldn’t even take the last fifty yards out of the forest alone.” The voice was nagging at her ears as her gaze shot upward.
“That voice…” she said. She shielded her eyes as the glare from the sun dug into them, but she could see a shadowed figure flying just above. Then, Fluttershy’s eyes then went wide, her jaw clamped tighter, and her hoof fell to her side. “R-Rainbow?” she asked. Her eyes slowly adjusted as she could make out a wild, multicolored mane and tail with the shadow.
“What is it now?” asked Rainbow Dash, landing softly in front of Fluttershy. “We need to hurry or we’ll miss the party.” Tears welled up in her eyes again. Her hooves began to quiver, then her knees started to buckle.
“Oh Rainbow!” she cried, leaping forward to grab her in a hug. Pulling her long lost friend into her hooves, she could feel her horn was gone too. Dash began pushing at her to get off.
“What’s gotten into you? Come on! Stop messing around,” she complained.
“Oh, right,” said Fluttershy. Her cheeks felt hot as she kicked at the ground. “Ummm, you’re right. We don’t want to be late. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a good party.” Rainbow eyed her for a few seconds before lifting a few feet off the ground.
“Anyway, as I was saying. So there I was, nearing the last checkpoint…” Rainbow continued as they passed through the edge of the forest.
Discord waited outside Fluttershy’s door for several minutes before cracking the door open. He peaked one eye in to see her still sitting on the ground where he left her. Her eyes remained closed as she swayed back and forth. On her face, her lips curled into a deep smile, ear to ear. Discord smirked. “Goodnight, Fluttershy.”
Discord slowly shut the door and turned away. He took heavy steps through the halls of Canterlot Castle, but his face hid a glimmer of a smile the whole way. Opening the front doors, a wave of fresh sunrise swept over him as Princess Celestia stood in front of him. She cocked her head to the side and wore puzzled eyes.
"Discord, what brings you to Canterlot Castle?"
Discord began walking past her, "just keeping a promise to an old friend."
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You really know how to tug the heartstrings.
Sad... But beautiful.
2593970
Yay! First comment ever. Thanks, it means a lot for me to get feedback.
2595541
Thanks for the feedback. I haven't often dealt with sad emotions like this, but sometimes I have to write about the feels.
I do have one complaint: If your story only has 1 chapter, don't name the chapter "Chapter 1" it makes it seem like an ongoing story, even though it's marked as complete.
Don't mean to offend, it's just a pet peeve of mine.
2595745
I totally understand, and I welcome any and all criticism (I mean, how do we expect to get better without it?). To be honest, I'm a little lost when it comes to formatting my stories on this site. I left the chapter box blank because I did intend for this to be complete, but I am finding out that "Chapter 1" is placed as a default. In a case like this, should I merely put the title of the story as the chapter title too?
This is very very good. For a first fic, this is incredible. Heck, for any fic, this is awesome.
Your use of emotions in this poured out of the screen, and really touched me. I don't what else to say but keep up the good work, and I am really looking forward to more stories from you! 
2596247
Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm going to get started right away!
2596252
Also, this right here is why I followed you more than anything. The fact that you are open to constructive criticism says a lot. Keep that attitude, and you will go far!
that's the attitude want, i'm going to read this now. i'll add to the comment later.
this was overall above average. it tugs at the heartstrings, but is not really that sad. it's a classic "immortality is sad" story. just with fluttershy, which makes no sense at all.
my main issues are that it lacks a real emotional punch and that it is very obvious. this might just be my opinion, but i prefer my sad to be either very sad with a heavy finisher or extremely vague and/or hinting at stuff rather than saying it straight out, adding more gravity to the situation. this story has no points where anything becomes so sad that i want to bawl my eyes out, even the ending is too long stretched and would be better off with something along the lines of
this ending hints towards Fluttershy either being killed or staying in a never ending sleep.
and you didn't have to explain why she became an alicorn, you are already using the alternate universe tag (which is actually out of place on this fic along with the "dark" tag, this is distant future, not an alternate future. and the story is really not that dark. only the sad tag and possibly the tragedy tag would be fitting, but i suggest using only the sad tag as tragedy, dark and alternate universe repels the kind of readers you would want for this type of fic.) anyways, so anyone would just assume that either all the elements became alicorns or that only she became one because of reasons explained in the fic.
and the use of "princess" early on is completely out of place. discord would not address shy as princess and shy would not address twilight as princess twilight.
don't take this the wrong way though, i liked the story and you have potential as a writer as long as you improve on some issues. on a completely unrelated note, do you need a pre-reader?
2595969
You could use the title for the chapter name...
I think something like "The Eternal Dream" or "Alone in the new world" would fit just as well, considering the plot, but those are just suggestions, feel free to pick one or come up with your own.
2596283
I'll keep that in mind. Thanks a lot for pointing this out to me!!
I have no words to describe how amazing this is.
2596322
I have no words to describe how happy I am to hear that!
2596328 You absolutely deserve that favorite and that follow.
2596275>>2596322 Go forth, my followers. Comment on this story! Get it well known, as it should be!
2596361 I spread da word, boss.
that was so sad! *sniffle*
Thank you shishkabob for making a blog about this amazing story
that was so sad! *sniffle*
Thank you shishkabob for making a blog about this amazing story
2596586
I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
2596597 I'm really glad you wrote it
huh, this was my 500th favorite. achievement accomplished i guess?
2596657
it is a milestone
and achievement is getting 1000
hell, i haven't even hit 200 yet
Oh my, good job man. This is pretty tear jerking. Perhaps the only thing you need to do is separate your lines a little better. Either hit enter twice or indent. Besides that little syntax of a thing, I mean this is pretty damn good. I'm surprised to see this out of a first timer. It's impressive, it has everything a one-shot needs. Now, don't make the mistake I did, and add more to this. It's done, it's finished, and it doesn't need any more. I am kicking myself for adding another 'chapter' to one of my stories, but hey, I didn't realize that people were going to want to read more. Besides all of that, if you want to, feel free to add more description, maybe add a little more to the throne room. Put the reader into the story, and get their mind into it, this will bring people to tears then. I didn't cry, but damn did I want to. Anyways, if you need any type of help, feel free to message me. I will be promoting your story BTW. This needs to become a little more known. Also, add it to the group 'one-shots.' BE SURE TO READ THE RULES BEFORE POSTING PLEASE, just click forum.
FInal Verdict: I thought this would be confusing, I thought you would need more help, boy was I wrong.
2596718 oh snap! We got Prince Solstice doing one his rage rev- wait what? It's not a rage review. What's more is he's actually complimenting the fic. Bravo author. Bravo
2596718
2596885
Oh wow. I truly feel honored. This whole day has been pretty crazy. Thanks for the comments, especially the suggestions on syntax and further description. This is the last time I'm going to work on it over Word and transfer it over.
2596885 Indeed, my friend, did you take a gander at this story?
2596910 No problem, not all of this site is crazy assholes on a crusade to destroy others stories. Just like not all assholes aren't always assholes. Anyways, hope this story gets popular.
2596913 I will later. I'm about to DM a game of dnd
2596946
I hope you enjoy it when you get around to it. I'm a DM too, so I know how that goes. Just remember, no TPK unless they deserve it
Don't worry I wont
Well, looks like Fluttershy's got a case of the old world blues.
The feels for this have just hit me like a freight train.
Ok done with the session for tonight and I've played some mine craft time to get this started
Edit: not bad. I rather enjoyed it. It tuged at the heart strings a bit but didn't quite move me to tears. Still, well done.
if TheCloudtop says it's good, I'm going to read it... and damn was this good. congrats on being so good for your first fic.
2604816
Thanks so much! I'm just getting started!!
I'm a little disappointed that this gem has not been uncovered by too many people, despite being added to so many groups.
This reminds me…
Not only do I need to dig though all 500+ of my unread chapters, but I should check incoming stories for more hidden treasure.
Instead, I'm lazying around on Minecraft and attempting to get my writing mojo back.
2607378
I'm still super excited it's gotten as far as it has! However, if you have any pointers of things I can do to get it out there more, I'm all ears. I'd love to make sure more people could read and enjoy this story!
However, I will say, either tonight or tomorrow, I'm totally going to get started on my next work!
2607427 I shall be looking forward to seeing it.
And possibly bombing it with criticism if needed.
There really arent any changes that changes the story at all, but what you have added are improvements, especially the ending and the removal of the AU tag.
However, when you are just starting out with writing, don't go back and change your stories, let them be finished and stay that way. Your efforts would be better spent writing more and better stories using what you learn than trying to make the perfect story.
2609084
That is my plan starting today. I had no intentions of a major rewrite, so I intend to get started on the next, big thing.
2609084>>2609252
^ Ditto'd.
This really was pretty good stuff. I got a bit of a hint of what was happening from the cover alone--thanks to the Drawfriend for sending me here--but even knowing a story's course does not lessen the impact it has, when well-written. I'll be honest, there's only two things that jumped out at me, and one of them is simply a matter of preference. That one would be spacing, or a lack thereof. For my part, I tend to put a break between paragraphs when I write, and a lot of other authors follow the same convention on here--though you generally won't see the same in printed books. As I said, matter of preference.
The second one, and the only one that really broke my immersion in the story was the use of the term "Mane 6". It seems to grasp at a reader's out-of-story knowledge to illustrate to us the six ponies we know best. It could also be the random number, and numbers are a bit of an odd subject in writing. (Oddly Discord's line of "About 2 months" didn't even register until my second read-through, but standard rules of typing say that so long as you don't start a sentence with a number, you're okay.) For better flow, I'd opt for "the rest of the old circle of friends" or something similar.
I'm probably rambling at this point because who needs sleep anyway
but hopefully I've made sense...and I did enjoy this. Keep it up!
2627876
Thanks a lot for your comment! To be truthful, I didn't even think about the whole "Mane 6" thing, but now that you brought it up, that makes total sense. I'll be sure to keep that (and the spacing) in mind as I continue on my next piece!! I'm also really glad you enjoyed it!!
I think I owe lizziebax something special for making my cover art. First of all, I really love it, but it also brought in many new readers!!
I really liked this story. I don't normally read a lot of MLP:FIM fanfiction, but the cover art grabbed my attention. I definitely feel that you took the correct tone in approaching the subject matter. I wasn't looking for tears to be jerked; I was looking simply for poignancy.
It's important that you kept the characters in-character, or I wouldn't have enjoyed it so much as a MLP fanfic. Particularly Discord. It was important that he was there, and acted as his mischievous old self at intervals, to serve as Fluttershy's foil - In the sense that he is an immortal who has come to terms with the implications of immortality, while Fluttershy is apparently unable to do so. But it's so key that he understands and is willing to do the deed as the most difficult of favors. This is why I strongly disagree with another comment suggesting that you change the ending. I think you got the ending entirely right, and the alternate suggested below would not only have killed the character-foil setup, but it would have erased the note of hope and relief that you built into Fluttershy's release. Death/loss and people being grim about it is not interesting. Death at the end of a long and full life, and showing that others can come to terms with it through understanding the relief it has brought the sufferer, is a theme more worth exploring in my opinion.
I also found the usage of "Mane 6" to be jarring; as a fandom term it doesn't really belong in the in-world narrative.
My only criticism of the story itself is that you didn't really address the world-weary Fluttershy's present relationship with Twilight Sparkle at the time she chooses to leave the world. I like that you included the flashback (It's good that she interacts with more than one other character in the story), but without tying Twilight Sparkle back in later, it did almost feel like simple factual background setup. While I would be interested to know how Twilight Sparkle feels about her similar life at the time your story is set, I would be more interested still to know why Fluttershy (presumably) finds immortality more difficult to cope with, in contrast to Twilight. Does she regret the decision she made years ago? Is she different from Twilight at her core? Also, when Fluttershy chooses to leave the world and rejoin her friends of years past, is she leaving behind a good friend in Twilight Sparkle? I think you were trying to convey that she was weary of everything worldly, but did that include her counterpart? I would feel better knowing that Fluttershy found peace with truly no regrets about what she is leaving behind, and I can't help wondering about Twilight. I'd even like to see a tiny bit more confirmation that (even if she cares for him) she is also unwilling to suffer through the world for what Discord can offer her in it. Since they interacted (and hinted at past interactions) I ultimately found their parting satisfactory. But just a little something more (a deeper decision to part, a visible longing for one or two things still in the world - but having that longing ultimately outweighed) could've added to the punch.
Nice work - I love stories that keep in-character and address themes that the show itself isn't willing to delve into. This is a strong & memorable vignette for me, and I'll also be treasuring the art you commissioned for it, because I love that too!
2630202
Thank you so so much for the comment! I'm glad to see you enjoyed it! Also, I really appreciate the criticism you gave. I did struggle a lot on how often to include Twilight and in what ways, but my decision ended up being the leave her in mystery, almost as if they isolated themselves even from each other. However, that nagging feeling does get to me, too. The idea of how Twilight weighs in on this decision. If Fluttershy is alone in her struggle or if Twilight is struggling with her. Etc. So, I totally do see where you're coming from, and I'll definitely keep that in mind. I'm apprehensive about doing any rewriting, because after doing so several days ago, I got comments telling me to not, but at the very least, I'm taking your words to heart for my next work.
Thanks again!! You've really helped me out.
I'm dumb, I don't understand what happened.
2651460
I don't know exactly what part may have been unclear, so I'll go ahead and give a quick overview of the whole story.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I was worried that the story may not be clear enough
This story is set in Equestria many centuries into the future. In this future, Twilight gave Fluttershy the "gift" of becoming an Alicorn (thus, in this case, eternal life as well). The story then takes this scenario and follows the tired idea of "immortality is sad," showing a Fluttershy tormented by loss over the years. The end has her getting Discord to cast a powerful spell that makes Fluttershy feel she is back home with all her friends from long ago, before she took the life of a princess. But, at the very least, all of what she experiences is only in her head, as she still sits in her throne room.
Oh. This is so good and so heartbreaking at the same time.
All my feels!
Who made the picture?