Out to Sea
By Discord
Rainbow Dash groaned loudly as she sat down by the side of the ocean, "UGH I'm so bored, why do we even have to go on a cruise?"
Her friend Rarity smiled as she fanned herself lightly from under her umberella, "Dash darling, a little sea air would do you some good! You've been cooped up in your house for weeks with all this dry weather. It's not good for you!"
Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself as she folded her arms together, "I could be watching Captain Kangaroo right now..."
The pristine white unicorn rolled her eyes as she looked back out to sea, "Just you'll see, the Jewel of the Ocean is a fine ship, with all the amenities one could want, like the spa with mud bathes, and fine salt water soakings. Oooh I'm getting all goose-bumpy about it!"
And so the pair waited together on the pier for any signs of their ship. Not realizing that it was coming in more ways than one. (See what I did there? Wow I'm so clever!)
BWOOOOOOOOOOM!
The sound filled the air so loud that both ponies quickly covered their ears in an attempt to block it out, when they looked behind them, the duo had found that the ship had finally pulled into port, and began to let the passengers on, "Well come on Rainbow Dash, I've been looking forward to this for months!"
As Rarity moved forward to board the ship, Rainbow Dash stood stock still, the ship was big, bigger than anything she had ever seen before, with its huge smoke stack raising up to the sky like a tower, it's masts with little flags carrying little simboles on it, and the little French script writing by the anchor, proudly displaying the name, Jewel of the Ocean.
Rainbow Dash flapped her wings, and felt her heart pop as she got closer and closer to the ship. She reached her hoof out and gently touched the side of the ship, "Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash."
The cruise liner bobbed in the water closer to her, and she felt her heart do a little flip, "I never knew what this feeling could be like. Are you going to take me places I've never been before?"
"Ummm, are you talking to the ship?" somepony asked and Dash was quickly brought back to reality, (Or the closest thing that she can ever get to anyway)
"Wha? Who me? No, I was just talking to..." She looked around in hopes of finding something, or somepony she could pin it on, unfortunately she brought no luggage, and everypony else had already boarded, "Myself! Yeah, I was talking to myself!"
The sailor looked at her wairily before backing away slowly, leaving Dash alone to find her shared room with Rarity.
****
(That is how I do a page break? I think it is, oh well.)
The next day, Rarity and Dash woke up and headed down to get breakfast in the dining hall. "Hey Rarity, do you think it would be a good idea to split up? You know so we can have some alone time when outside the room?"
Rarity turned as she tossed aside one of her dozens of sun hats, "Rainbow, we are on this trip together so we can get to know each other better. After all, we barely spend any time together. Besides, a hooficure might do you some good!"
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to protest, only for Rarity to give her the thousand yard stare of doom, instantly shutting her mouth.
So the first day was spent with Rarity, and Rainbow Dash in the ships spa. For the entire duration of the day, Dash was treated to the best massages, hooficures, steam rooms, and mud kelp wraps that money could buy, and she was in misery.
It wasn't until after the spa that Rainbow Dash could finally have a moment to herself. While Rarity trotted off to the all you can stand to eat buffet, Rainbow Dash took off to the casino.
She wandered about aimlessly, a few bits in her bag and a bored expression on her face, looking for anything that would give her a thrill of winning. Suddenly she spotted the wheel of fortune, shrugged and walked up to it, "Place your bets miss!"
"My brother Flam and I guarentee that this game is easy to win!"
"That's right Flim, how about it miss? A bet on any number you like!"
She looked at the two stallions behind the table and raised an eyebrow at them, "Aren't you those two con ponies that tried to take Applejacks farm away?"
"Never heard of it, have you Flim?"
"Not I Flam, so how about a bet on number fourteen? Hottest number of the night!"
The Currulian pegasus gave a shrug with her wings and placed her bits on the table, then thought it out. "Wait, are you telling me to bet on this number because the wheel is fixed?"
The twins looked at each other, "Er, of course not! We are just two hard working ponies trying to make an honest living!"
Dash gave the pair her most scrutinizing squint, (Wow that's a tough word...) and shifted the bits to the number six, "Don't be offended, but I just don't trust you."
The two brothers smiled as they spun the wheel, "Well let's see if she is right to mistrust us,"
"Of if her folly will cost all her bits to go down the drain!"
The wheel spun around for several moments, creating a buzzing sound as the needle hit all the little pins. Finally after what felt like forever, the wheel stopped on, "Number fourteen!"
"Awww, what a shame. Maybe next time you should listen to us!" The two ponies then laughed as Dash walked away frustrated.
****
Angry, and alone, Rainbow Dash wandered out out of the bar, reaking of hard cider. She stumbled onto the ships deck and took off to fly around the ship for a while. She flew round and around the ship and couldn't help but blush at the sight of it, it was so big, "Hey, how's it goin'?"
The boat, naturally didn't say anything, but it did sway through the water a little bit, "Oh you naughty little boat, I see you swishing for me."
She then leaned up against the boat's smoke stack, "You know, I always thought that my first time would be with a stallion, but I guess you'll do," She then kissed the smoke stack, and followed it down to the engine room.
****
Three months later...
Dash was feeling ill, and was laying down on an examiners table in the doctors office back in Ponyville waiting to find out what was wrong with her.
Suddenly the door came open and the doctor looked at the x-rays in confusion, "Well Miss Dash, I have some news."
"Give it to me straight doc, will I ever fly again?"
The doctor looked over the x-rays again before giving a sigh, "I don't know how to say this but, your pregnant," He then held up the x-ray to show it, "Congratulations, your going to be the proud mother of a tug boat!"
And that's where tug boats come from!
The End
...Discord, you need to read some stories to realize how they actually work, lol.
.........WHAT
I'm sure there's a reference to something in there.
Oh god, why?
I lied, I love it, its as glorious as that zeppelin love story.
Please keep up the good work my good sir.
2585837 Oh, you mean being detailed so everyone can understand? You find details mean someone is agressive? Reminds me of how people think proper English on the Internet means that I'm angry.
Well... the meme is to ship Rainbow with everything so... there you. Congrates, Discord.
Ship Cargo everyone!
I can see Discord making a bit of progress. It's still amateur stuff, but it's slightly better than the first one.
I don't know who thank for making me laugh you or discord.
I somehow expected this. I think this is a sign of my rapidly degrading sanity.
2586034
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2011/263/f/3/that_discord_by_blooddragonx-d4adz75.png
"Yes, what if..."
-D.
Were those spelling errors intentional to make fun of Discord's writing?
And this- this is like ". . .but the Kitchen Sink" all over again!
So, is this a ship ship?
Haven't seen anything like this since Rainbow got shipped with Pinkie's kitchen sink.
2586053>>2586060
Did I ever read that? I don't know....
And in Discord's stories, yes it is intentional!
2586070 I didn't read it- I listened to a dramatic reading of it- by a very talented guy- it was hilarious.
Ha ha, he wrote a literal ship fic.
Rim shots! Rim shots everywhere!
"Ship fic"
in a word: epic.
OH GOT DANGIT! I've seen an airship shipping, but I ain't never seen a ship shipping!
Is this a reference to "...And the Kitchen Sink?"
2584646
It may be missing them (i didn't listen to that video...), I just googled it and clicked the first result so I could post it for all who may not have recognized the reference, so that they may bask in the glory of the Pirates of Penzance!
XD
... I'm sorry, the mind you are trying to contact is full of fuck right now, here is the last thought before his mind shut down.
"My god... So full of fuck, yet glorious at the same time..."
In a nutshell, the mind wants you to write more of this glorious masterpiece.
That was amazing, thank you for writing this!
2586480
YOU GOT IT! YAY! I thought nobody would!
2582973 Your text choice is really hard to read
2585416
Could have left it as a second grader, but had to point out it was an American second grader.
Also, in 2585408
I mean, I'm not saying you're entirely wrong, but there was no reason to say America. It was seen as an attack to many people, so...
I'm done, I've said my peace. Have fun... doing whatever you do, I guess.
2586475 Nice to see you too! ^.=.^
I...
I don't even...
Wat.
Ohhh i just love this one.
discord writes a ship fic, i see what you did there
Co-incidentally, I was writing a story called "Luna writes a Ship Fic" a couple of months before this appeared. Will read, to see if similar. Also because the concept seems like the funniest crap.
Only Discord could ship a ship!
So you went and shipped a ship, eh?
You won't see me complaining.
Maybe Discord should go on FimFiction.net? Might get some ideas.
2586939
Well, other than that we know that Celestia is a wise ruler, and is kind, and benevolent, but not afraid to roll up her proverbial sleeves when she must, (Luna and Celestia vs Sombra and Discord Respectively, Celestia vs Nightmare Moon, and lastly vs. Chrysalis.) What DO we know about her character?
Not talking about what the fandom cooked up, but pure canon to the show.
This is going to be some kind of an adventure for me. Ships beings shipped by an unknowing shipper.
I...I...have no words...
Discord, there is no end to your genius!
I've never read "And the Kitchen Sink," but one of my friends won't stop trying to get me to read it.
To display why I don't want to read it, this is my reaction to Discord's latest story attempt:
Though it makes perfect sense coming from Discord (oxymoron intentional), so I actually got a really good laugh out of it.
I look forward to seeing reactions to his latest work. Especially from Rainbow Dash!
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>>>And that's where tug boats come from!>>
*is about to say something... then realizes this is a land where ponies farm rocks...*
Seems legit.
And suddenly shipping Tom and Rarity gains credibility... Rarity gives birth to a litter of gravel...
I'll bet the labor would be horrendous. Like passing a whole bunch of really big kidney stones.
shipping rainbow dash with an actual ship? ....genius! I want fan art of this now!
AHAH. AHAHA. HAYAHAHAH. AYEEAHAHAH. AHHHHHHA HA HAAAAAHH
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/483/337/4b8.gif
I just waltzed right into that one...
I just wonder how this joke will ferry into the other chapters
Interesting that Discord knew about Flim and Flam, considering he was encased in stone when they did all that.
2587359
On the up side, at least that passage is made to have solid objects come out.
And now I know what a shipping cutie mark would look like
Truly... only Discord can ship a ship.
I... I dont know what to say.... that's what im doing right now...
2585404 What really annoyed me in your comment was the rude words you used. Can't you be more polite?
The 'incomplete' part is that yes, you can never finish reading it, but the future chapters is going to be published later on and you can just continue reading. If the author doesn't want to continue the story, it will be labeled as 'Cancelled'.
Your comment wasn't even a reply from someone else.
I'm not insulted of the America education systems suck or whatever. Cause I'm not an American. However, next time, be more polite.
Yours Sincerely,
~Aqqo
P.S: To be completely honest, I'm really in a bad mood cause of all the negative comments I received today, so yeah. I don't even know what in the hay you're talking about either, but I tried really hard to understand.
What. The. Fuck. That was AWESOME!!!!
my fucking siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiides