An Extremely Boring Story

by Nyan_Cat

De-ohshitspiders

So eventually Rainbow Dash got some guts and flew back to her house, along with Pinkie Pie, who decided she was going to hug this foul beast from the depths of hell.

When they got there, Dash decided that she was going to die, so she flew back down, grabbed an alicorn, and then flew back up.

When they arrived they saw Pinkie Pie crippled on the floor, her face purple and her eyes twitching. She raised one hoof slowly and pointed up at the offender; Spider Beast.

"Spider Beast... you did this, didn't you," Dash sobbed, pointing at the paralyzed pink party pony polluting the floor.

Spider Beast hissed.

"Spider BeeeeaaAAAAAAAAAAAST!" Dash cried, pulling a sword out of nowhere and heroically flying to the demon. She stabbed randomly, hitting nothing but air.

"Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssshk!" Spider Beast retorted, lunging forward, leaving a trail of web behind. Dash parried and rolled over in the air, flying upside down. She aimed at the monster's stomach, but he moved just in time, spitting venomous fluid at the floor.

"No!" the alicorn cried, flying towards the foe.

"No, alicorn! Save yourself!" Dash cried, wiping poison out of her eyes, then chopping freely into the air once more. Amazingly she hit, and dark purple blood poured out of the spider's wounds.

"Krsssssssssssh!" he snarled, turning his attention to the injury. This unknowingly opened it's weak spot to injury.

"This is OVER!" the cyan mare screamed, bringing the blade down on her enemy's neck, bodily fluids raining down upon the trio of ponies. Dash spit venom out of her mouth, saying:

"God, I need a better narrator."

Comments

[MrMustache]

Well. That was certainly interesting.

[asmcint]

Lolwut.

[ZemaBato]

Beautiful!! 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10! Bravo!!!

*throws confetti and cupcakes and spider beasts all over the room* :'D

[Inferno demon Dash]

But Alicorns are Gods...they can't DIE!! At least not from mortal creatures, but that's my option, wow this is random but funny as buck....love it!!!

[Nyan_Cat]

2538342
I work to please.

2538346
I don't even know.

2538351
Woo!

2538385
SWEET JESUS NO

2538505
Thanks for the feedback!
And now I've got this creeping suspicion that Spider Beast is immortal, dammit

[Cheesey Microwave]

Beautiful.
Just beautiful.
*starts crying*

[ZemaBato]

2538722

TOO LATE!

And don't worry about that 8-legged shadow. It's just your imagination.

[Nyan_Cat]

2538705
I secretly like fart jokes as well
I couldn't decide if demon scorpion doom spider or that spider with wings that scientists discovered a few months ago was worse. They're both pretty awful.
And thank you for the feedback!

[Nyan_Cat]

8 likes.
No dislikes.
stickerish.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/VictoryGuyBlackSS.png

[GAPDashie]

2538797 10 now.
:charliesheenizwinning:

[Inferno demon Dash]

2539091 Hell no, I'm bucked

[Inferno demon Dash]

2538722 THEN EVERYONE IS BUCKED!!!!!

[De-C0n]

you are one of favorite writers now.

[Nyan_Cat]

2539573
Nyan_Cat continues to reign victorious over the land.

But seriously, thanks!

2539114
I don't even know what I wrote with this.
But it's good so far, I think.
Woo

[Jphyper]

I've known from years of past experience that this is exactly the kind of story I should expect when I see the word "boring" in the title.

[Rainbooms]

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

[Wonderstruck]

[DubleTruble96]

wat

[Ogatasensei123]

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Nyan_Cat]

2538750
I can never be happy again.
Except this morning spider demon was still on my ceiling, and I got a cup and put him outside.
And now I realize that was a bad idea.
DEMON SPIDER BABIES

2541511>>2541341>>2540858
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTIvMTEvMTZfNTlfNDVfNjA3XzE3OTU0MV9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfc2Nvb3RhbG9vX21lbWVfZWRpdF9zaHJ1Z19zaHJ1Z3BvbnkiXSxbInAiLCJ0aHVtYiIsIjI1MHgyNTAiXV0/179541__safe_scootaloo_meme_edit_shrug_shrugpony.png

[ZemaBato]

2542088
You can be happy again. You just need that one thing.

And those demon spider babies? They are actually like the cutest things around.

That's how they get you, too...

fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/308/c/2/my_little_jumping_spider_by_ryuukiba-d4f4oo5.jpg

[Nyan_Cat]

2542620
Who the hell makes the pictures, and why are they so cute?
...WAIT NO

[ZemaBato]

2542698
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

And you'd be surprised. I know there are cuter pics of them as spiders, I just can't find them atm.

[115GhostNova]

What derefucq did I just read.

[Periphery]

2542088

Your spider adventures remind me of one that ran through my kitchen once. It was so huge that when I went to catch it, I realized it was bigger than the jar, and I had to find some other container to catch it.

Aw, just noticed you changed this to Complete. But it was such a complex, compelling story!

[The Princess Rarity]

You, my good man, are a frikkin' genius.

[Silver_Spark]

What the hell is this?! WHY the hell is this?!