• Member Since 18th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 15th, 2023

Mike Dugan


Be sure to check out my deviantART gallery! http://mikedugan.deviantart.com

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This story is a sequel to Pink With Your Heart


Everypony knows Rarity is the best when it comes to visual flair! One day, however, she meets a pony who makes her look beyond that.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

Rarity! That was really rude

Gee, that OC sure does look a lot like Spike...

Just a word, if you're intending on using foreign type phrases in your stories can you at least use them properly?

Cher is used if you're referring to a man. For a woman you'd use "chere" or the more common "cherie".
And it's "enchante" - not "au chante" which would translate out poorly to "at sings".

Beyond that it's interesting so far. This deserves a watch.
2529715

Come on, give the guy props for dropping a Chekhov's Gun CORRECTLY. You don't notice it really until it comes up later.

Actually, it wasn't that big a reveal if you happen to read French. From that and the picture it was a little obvious from the start.

2529715
+1 - I do not get - why downvote? :rainbowhuh:
Although I suppose that Dulcet Tones coloration could be the reason - someone could expect another Spike fic and be disappointed enough to downvote.

2 author:
May be it would be better if you put a note in description, something like "It is NOT Spike&Rarity fic."
Anyway the story is good :twilightsmile: and I hope you will continue it regardless of downvoters.

2530037
Oh, thanks for the advice. I'll make the appropriate changes.
And thank you for thinking the story is interesting!

2530758
Thanks, man. Yeah, you're probably right about that note in the description. I'm probably going to do some other stuff for a while before I return to this one.

2531538
The fact that I personally do not like any of mentioned by you pairings does not make me to downvote story with one either (I will simply ignore it).
But I could not think of any other reason for so many downvotes.
"Pink With Your Heart" has completely different upvote/downvote ratio, so I personally think that there should be some trigger for such behavior.
False expectations could be the one.
'when she meets a pony' tells nothing because he could be pony from Rarity POV etc.
What we have here - cover picture with Rarity + pony in Spike's colors & romance tag - someone could simply skip the description. To be true I half expected (while hoped that in will not happen) for Spike to pop somewhere in the story.
I doubt that adding note to avoid confusion could make things worse.
And since downvoters do not leave comments - we will not know true reason anyway.

2531499
No problem. Advice is free. What you decide to do with it however is your business.

2531528
Well, this is an international site and while it's not my native tongue it is something I've picked up over the years. It's also given me some great success with the ladies so I'm not complaining. You whisper anything in French into her ear, doesn't matter what it is, just make it sound good and she's putty in your hands.

Maybe so, but also when we meet him for the first time and he bobs his head back and forth before picking up his bag or whatever is what gave it away for me. That's when the title and the dark sunglasses made sense.

After all when translated, the title reads, "I see you". This could have multiple meanings but it was that moment that told me of his affliction. Unfair advantage? Maybe. Didn't take away from the story as far as I was concerned. As I told the author, this deserves a watch and a thumbs up.

2531538
2531507
You know I checked my notes and reread announce message which Mike Dugan sent to his followers:
There is only text "Everypony knows Rarity is the best when it comes to visual flare! But what does she do when she meets a pony who makes her look beyond that?" and cover picture.
Message sounds very similar to typical Spike&Rarity story description (no, I am not going to use shipping acronyms).
It could mislead if one is fan of Spike&Rarity and is looking for such fics.
He could jump directly to the story and found OC instead of Spike.

2531507
I'm probably going to do some other stuff for a while before I return to this one.
I hope it will not take half a year before you return to this story :twilightsmile:

2531655
author can put whatever he wants there
As well as I can discuss in the comments possible reasons for downvoting the story and use or not use acronyms or abbreviations.
Keep it calm, buddy.

Read it now - and you got my upvote and fav. :pinkiehappy:

Sorry to see that your story got off on the wrong hoof. :ajsleepy:

Yeah, I gotta agree with people here, probably a case of audience expecting one thing from the preview image and then getting something else, can't say I'd know any other reason for it. :twilightoops:

Well, I don't know what has been edited since the initial release, but it certainly seems a good read to me. :ajsmug:
Plus, oh hey, it's set in the same continuity as "Pink with your heart", I liked that one too! :pinkiehappy:
...maybe you could point that out in the description, or possibly link this story in "Pink with your Heart"...? It would automatically give people who liked one story a bit of an incentive to maybe also read the other.

Of course, as of right now, the up/down vote ratio is 8 to 10 in favor of downvotes ... and when people see that they're more likely to just walk away, err... :facehoof:

Ehhh, okay, best idea I got there is to ask your subscribers to "give the story another chance!" and "it was downvoted for the wrong reasons!" and such, err. Possibly with a rather blatant blog-title, too, such as "If you liked 'Pink with your heart', you'll like this one".
Although I must admit that's... uhm... a tinsy-tiny-winy little bit awkward. :twilightblush:


As for the story's big twist - yeah, I totally didn't see it coming until shortly before the actual revelation. :rainbowderp:
I applaude you, good sir! :twilightsmile: (Then again, I'm no good at French, so if there are any hints there, I am unaware of those. :derpyderp2:)

I certainly do find the idea most interesting; Now here's somepony - a creative somepony, no less - who literally CAN'T apprechiate Rarity's own art. :raritydespair: :raritycry:
Now that's some cause for inner conflict and obstacles to be overcome right there.

I hope the story gets some more positive reactions in the future, it'd be a shame to let such an idea go to waste. :pinkiesad2:

2551300
Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. Yeah, I was a little bummed about this one's reception. I think it was the initial title image I had. I hadn't noticed Dulcet's color scheme was way, way too similar to Spike's until after others started pointing that out to me.

To be honest, I was going for Mardis Gras colors, but I have been considering tweaking the story so that his colors are different. If anyone has a suggestion, I'm totally open. I was thinking something like an iridescent purple mane and tail with a smoky grey coat, but I fear that scheme might be too similar to Rarity's own.

Speaking of Pink With Your Heart, I have been looking to rework that story rather considerably recently, and develop it more thoroughly. (My goal is to get something worthy of an Equestria Daily submission.) Maybe if I do that, I can work in a link to this story, help it along a little.

Plus, there's always the follow-up chapter to this, that might boost things a little.

hmmm. I'll be watching this one......:moustache:

Nice start! Next chapter asap please? :)

Oh, wow. I didn't ever think to look this up on FimFiction until now, and to see it has this many downvotes is depressing to say the least. I can glean from the comments that it was a misunderstanding of sorts, but still.

Next chapter pls? :)

I like it. Very much so. :moustache:

please write the next chapter soon Please I'm loving the magix:coolphoto:

Hey, just figured that with the new "sequel"-system in place you could easily link this story to "Pink with your heart". Both are set in the same continuity, after all. :twilightsmile:

That way, this story may gather some more attention over time as people reading "Pink with your heart" are subtly nudged to maybe also check out this one. :raritywink:

Plus, I doubt any would think ill of you if you posted a journal linked to "Pink with your heart" through the new "related story"-option on the journal page mentioning its "sequel", and in a half-sentence explaining away why it was so ill received at the time. :derpytongue2:

This in turn might eventually balance out the undeserved downvotes, given the proper audience. :pinkiesmile:

See it not as asking for upvotes, but as informing people who liked the first story that there is a sequel. :scootangel:

Not sure what caused the bad publicity, I think it's a well-written story with an interesting premise. I don't even like Rarity that much and I was still captivated.

Please continue writing when you happen to have the time. :moustache:

4751166
Thanks for the sympathy. Yeah, it's a bummer, because I really think I have something here.
My theory is that, when I first posted this chapter, I had this utterly putrid title image for it. Seriously, one of the worst things that's ever happened to humanity.
Okay, I exaggerate a tad, but it was pretty bad. I've since replaced it with an infinitely superior version, as you can see, but by then the damage had been done. And let's face it, we are a visual bunch, so when that first visual cue is so deterring, it spells disaster for the whole shebang. It's a shame, but that's how it goes.

4754866
Thanks for taking the time to write a reply, much apprecitated!

Maybe with a 2nd chapter out you'd draw in more new readers who don't know about that old shame of yours? It would be a shame to leave this story unfinished just because of a few undeserved downvotes! :unsuresweetie:

UPDATE! NOW!!!:flutterrage:

This is the second story I've read where Rarity falls for a blind stallion, and this story is pretty good.

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